guilt ridden and blood thirsty

@oliviainsworth

olivia ainsworth eight hundred and twenty-two, werewolf, alpha, immortal

497 posts

something borrowed || o+f

Finn didn’t have much time to be excited with Biddy bouncing off of the walls. Whenever he had her around anyone else, she always grew excited. Watching her start to get happy, he felt guilty. Finn often knew that he needed to get her around more role models, maybe have a motherly figure in her life or at least someone that could help her with all of the things that he couldn’t, but it felt odd to go to anyone and ask for help. More often than not, he let Valeria fuss over her, but Auntie Valeria wasn’t exactly what the girl needed and he knew that. Children needed parents, and while he was always the only father figure that she’d ever known, he couldn’t be a mother to his niece as well.

“Well, great because you do not want what’s in the kitchen right now. Evidently you’re supposed to not let all of the water boil out of the pasta if you don’t plan on standing over the pot the entire time. If it wasn’t for the smoke detectors, this could have been much worse.” He gave a sheepish smile accompanied by him rubbing the back of his neck as he watched the two interact. She was gentle, or so he assumed, from the way that she was interacting with the small girl.

“Can we play dress up with her? She’s so pretty.”

Looking over to Olivia, Finn shrugged. “It’s up to Olivia. You have to ask her what you two can do tonight.” With Olivia there, he figured he might be able to go over some files that he’d brought home from the police station. Biddy could have someone to play with and he could sit down with a beer or four while eating pizza and trying to figure out what he was missing. He had to be missing something.

"It took me quite a while to not burn pasta, too. Especially the sauce.” Olivia shared, with a small smile upon her lips. It had been quite a challenge for her to cook when she hadn’t had the need to for centuries, going from town to town, always finding someone else to do it for her. When times started to change, however, it was when she first noticed how unprepared she had been to survive eternity (and when back then, she even questioned if she wanted to survive it). “Nothing can go wrong with pizza, though, right?” The brunette simply said, a small shrug of her shoulders taking place right after.

When Biddy spoke, Olivia’s eyes were kept on the girl and a smile on her lips. Is that how her life would’ve been, for four years, if she had had a daughter instead of a son? All the dressing up, the dresses and tiaras, being able to brush her daughter’s hair right before bed? The girl could remember the couple’s intention of not stopping at one child -- plans that were ruined by herself, when she let the beast take over and soon realized that, no matter how much she loved someone, they would never be safe from her. However, she refused to let those thoughts cloud her mind, especially when she was a guest.

Looking at Finn, looking for his reaction, the girl slightly gulped when he gave her the power to decide herself. Part of her was scared of what she could feel, of how many emotions would surface just by playing with a child. But she couldn’t find it in herself to say no. Then, she looked back at Biddy. “I hope you have loads of dresses.” She spoke with a friendly tone; however, she could not have expected the little girl to just take her hand and pull her, guiding her to where Olivia presumed was the girl’s bedroom. Olivia could hear the girl speak, telling her all about her stuffed animals and their respective names. As she walked, she couldn’t help but look back at the male, eyes widened and lips parted as she furrowed her eyebrows. Maybe she bit off more than she could chew. No pun intended.

#( para )#( para: something borrowed )#( para: kieran )

madamelamarquys

#( it's her nature )

“Are you done?” Zara raised an eyebrow, suddenly growing bored. If the little wolf wanted to be angry for the rest of eternity, for something that frankly, Zara believed the wolf’s family had coming - that was her business. Zara would forever be a proponent of forgive and forget - you had too, what when you were living for thousands of years. There were more important things than being angry about something you had no control over. Being angry wasn’t healthy for immortal creatures - but apparently, the little wolf wasn’t in the mood to hear the tough love, the truth. Shame. “Because I’m not in the mood to hear about your woe is me life right now. This town is going to hell in a handbasket, Ainsworth, and I intend to stop it. To do that, I need your help. So you can either suck it up, move past your anger, and actually put some goddamn good back in this world, or you can wallow in your misery and join the rest of us in hell. The choice is yours. I just hope for your sake, you make the right one,”

The brunette was done. She was done with wanting to help people that didn’t inspire the least bit of humanity in her, she was done with people judging her and her family for all that they’d done, she was done with people learning one legend and pretending to know her. And she sure as hell was done with those that shrugged off what a woman had done but would turn around and call her family monsters if they did the same. “I don’t care, Zara” Olivia shot back, looking at the woman before her. “I’m not going to help you. I’m never going to work with you. You shrug my anger off because it’s not your past, it’s mine. And I deal with it the way I want to and I don’t need someone like you --” who had no idea what it was like to kill her own family “-- talking down to me, patronizing me. Don’t try to manipulate my morals, telling me that choosing to help you is the right choice, because it’s not.” Olivia, her family and Erik would figure it out; she didn’t need to work with the kind that cursed her and her family and she would never back down from her anger towards them. “I will see you in hell.”

amaraazarov-deactivated20161202

Hearing her voice made Amara’s blood run cold, the Moroi tensing almost instantly. Olivia was the last person she wanted to see right now much less have a conversation with about her magic. Whirling on her, Amara could feel the tingle of fire burning from her fingertips as her anger took over but she suppressed the urge to throw it towards the other brunette. “Perhaps you should stop trying to eat people on a full moon. Can’t control that? Oh, what a coincidence.”

Olivia’s eyes were kept on the girl before her, scoffing at how stupid she had just proven to be; at least her sister knew not to anger a wolf, right? “You should also know that I’m quick to anger. And that I’m fast enough to break your spine before you even have the opportunity to try and use your powers on me, Amara.” Olivia warned, her voice stern and her stance strong. “I’d rather not have a reason to do that, so keep your dumb words to yourself.” If Amara even tried to compare the fact that she couldn’t control her magic gift with Olivia’s curse again, the werewolf might just regret warning her.

isabellaainswxrth-blog

“Naturally,” she concluded. If she was concerned about anything, it was the safety of other people. Humans. No one deserved to be swept into their curse through death. “I’ll speak to Carrie, we can split the rest if you’d like.” Isabella offered gently. It was an issue they had to deal with and they had a small time frame. She reached for her cup, taking two sips before she absently ran her fingernails across the counter, chewing on her bottom lip before she decided to speak. “I know you won’t forgive me and you shouldn’t, but I’d like to apologize for everything. Not only for our last encounter but for my hostile hatred throughout the centuries. My self-hatred, guilt and sorrow spewing out on you. It wasn’t right.”

“Yeah. It’s best if you speak to her.” Olivia nodded, not wanting to let her past get in the middle of something more important. “We’ll split the rest and hope for the best, I suppose.” Hope was a fickle thing in the brunette’s life, something she’d rather not have, finding it to be unreliable and a great way to get disappointed. Her sister’s next words came as a surprise; although wanted, the young woman did have to question just how much she could believe them. Olivia kept her eyes in Isabella, gulping and diverting her gaze before she spoke. “Do you mean that?” She started. “Because if you don’t, I’d rather you not say anything.” She wanted nothing more than to make things better with her sister -- but if that were to be taken from her again, Olivia would rather not welcome hope.

belyakovsazarov-deactivated2016

“Oh no-” Zaria grinned, shaking her head. “I’m not doing this alone.” The brunette grabbed another round of shots and forced one into the girl’s hand.

Olivia watched the other woman, raising an eyebrow. “Really?” The brunette questioned.

He looked at her for a moment, could tell that she disappeared into her own mind by his words. It hadn’t been his intention but for some reason, unbeknownst to him, he had taken her under his wing. She was older but sometimes she seemed younger, as if eight hundred years had chipped away so much of her that there wasn’t much left and what was, she didn’t know if she wanted or deserved. “Scary, huh? Being a human is being fragile, only mentally in your case. But inner pain is more daunting than external. Bones heal, people don’t always do the same.” Erik murmured, he didn’t have to be concerned that she wouldn’t hear him. Fairly certain that she would be able to hear him if he went to the bathroom, luckily he didn’t have to do that. He hoped that one day she would choose to feel everything again. It was harder, but saner. “Yeah, the magic is most likely gone by now. The only way is to go back and it’s not actually possible. I don’t have a time machine, only spells to access someone who was there at the moment. Unless… one second.” Erik got up and disappeared into his bedroom before returning with one of many grimoire’s the Luna family had. He dropped it on the table and opened it up to find another way. “God, I hate reading.”

Olivia blinked a few times, trying not to let her eyes water just as easily as she knew they could; which could come easier when she actually didn’t really care as much if Erik saw her wiping away a tear or not -- he had proven to understand her, in his own way. Shaking her head a bit, distracting her mind with the rapid movement, the brunette then looked at the blond, sighing at his murmured words. “Yeah, you don’t have to tell me just how fragile humans are.” The girl lowly said; her husband, child and parents were human -- she could imagine just how easy it had been to rip them apart. That part of her story, however, it would be buried deep within, never to come out. Not again. Olivia listened as he basically spewed his thought process onto her; she might’ve lived a few centuries but magic was still a big question mark when it came to how it work. So, although she was nodding at what he said from time to time, she got nothing. When he got up, she let her eyes follow him with furrowed eyebrows. Then, when he returned she stood up and walked over to the table, watching him. “I could see that. Since you were enjoying reading your students’ works.”

“you wound me,” cameron mirrored her eye roll. “what do you want, anyway?”

“You’ll heal. Perks of being a werewolf, isn’t it?” Olivia simply said.

belyakovsazarov-deactivated2016

“I get one day off in forever. May as well spend it hungover, right?”

“If that’s what how you want to spend it, go ahead.”

#d: zaria #what is hungover olivia wonders

“i’m starting to wonder why i even know you. — this,” he pointed his remote at the mounted tv screen, “is netflix. it has everything except porn, but i’m thinking about emailing them a very passionate letter to try and convince them to change this.”

“I’m starting to wonder just the same.” Olivia rolled her eyes, not even looking at where he was pointed. “Sounds uninteresting.”

“so, are you here to join me or should i buckle on down for another lecture about spending my days watching netflix and scoffing cheese fries?”

“What the hell is Netflix?”

#d: cameron #that gif is me @ adelaide's boobs ngl

valeriavaltameri

Valeria hummed her agreement, head bobbing twice. Her eyebrows shot up and her lips parted as Olivia mentioned Alexei, head whipping to the side to look at her. “You can smell him on me?” Well, that was news to her. She had not realized that werewolves could smell other people after they had been together, or at least she hadn’t put much thought into it. “Yes, Alex is my best friend. Why?” Val asked her cautiously, head tilting. Surely Olivia wouldn’t be able to tell what she and Alexei had been doing, that there had been kissing and touching and he had been pressed against her all night. Val hadn’t even had enough time for a shower this morning because of their conversation, but she would have thought there was no way in hell his scent was still lingering on her by now.

So, that was his name. The brunette looked at the woman, cocking her eyebrow. “Unfortunately, I don’t forget scents easily. So yes, I can smell him on you.” Olivia said, in a rather nonchalant way. If they were best friends and spent enough time together not long before that very moment, it wasn’t an out of this world thing to smell him on her. Although she would rather not even think about the male and what sort of memories his face awoke in her. Olivia shrugged; she wasn’t about to tell Valeria what was going through her head. “Nothing. Never made the connection, that’s all.” She commented casually, diverting her attention from the mermaid to the ocean before them.

“what? are you not even remotely curious as to who silver’s going to bone next?”

“Very funny.”

#d: cameron #olivia done w u cam

“you’ve reached cameron on one of his designated ‘don’t give a fuck’ days. feel free to leave a message with my assistant while he soaks up the gorgeous rays. — spoiler alert; i don’t have an assistant. also, there’ll be no sun. netflix just informed me that season five of 90210 was uploaded so clearly i’m now obligated to watch it.”

“Do you always talk so much?”

valeriavaltameri

“Unfortunately I’d feel a little guilty if I didn’t. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for the job, I just like to bitch about it from time to time.” She quipped, smiling slightly as her head tilted towards the brunette. “It’s not as nice now as it is as sunrise, but it’s still my favourite spot.” Valeria tensed up as Olivia sniffed at her and still at her words. Her smile faded for a moment and no, she couldn’t possibly know anything about her and Alexei while they had been in her home. “Are you really surprised? I kind of have a Dhampir as a best friend, we tend to hang out a lot.” Valeria deflected the statement, her smile returning but not as warm as it was before.

“Guess it’s somehow worth something to you.” The girl mused, letting her words fade out as she casually commented. Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes narrowed when she heard Valeria’s words, her lips parting as she put two and two together; damn her enhanced senses and how present most of them were on her mind, still. “The Seleznyov is your best friend?” The werewolf inquired; the family name almost left a bitter name on her tongue and her memory growing hostile whilst she recalled the conversation she had with the Dhampir, one late night. Just thinking of it annoyed Olivia, thought she couldn’t help but remember just how she felt during the exchange of words.

vampiireweekennd

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

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Oh no I can’t slow down, I can’t hold back Though you know, I wish, I could, Oh no there ain’t no rest for the wicked, Until we close our eyes for good.

valeriavaltameri

Valeria smiled at the younger brunette. She knew that Olivia wasn’t usually sociable with many people and in all the time she’d known her, she still wasn’t sure if the girl had any actual friends simply because of the horrid tales about her past. But she had never been one to judge and Olivia had never done anything but be nice to Val, so in her mind they were some strange sort of friends. Nodding her head, she turned her gaze back to the ocean. “When I don’t feel like being bothered in my kingdom, yes. Why they don’t bother Aurelia and Lucius with their problems as much is beyond me.” But she was the head of the family, and she had a responsibility to them all. “It’s nice here though, gives me time to clear my thoughts and be between both my homes.”

"Because you listen to them whine. If you didn’t, they wouldn’t bother you.” Olivia spoke, shrugging her shoulders as she shifted her position. “I suppose it is quite pleasant. I prefer the woods, no tourists wanting to pretend like they’re at some tropical destination.” Olivia wasn’t a people’s person, that was known by any that actually talked to her. Taking one, two and three sniffs at the smell that was out of place, bothering her and disrupting what should be a pleasant ocean scent, the girl turned her head to the mermaid and took her own scent in. “You reek of Dhampir.” The werewolf said, blunt in her words -- or perhaps even honest, whichever the other woman decided to view it as.

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