Olivia Luchini

Sequoia Sister. 22. Living in a bubble.

[olivialuchinipoetry]

A poem I wrote 9/23/19

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Trojan Horse

I am the Trojan Horse

You trusted me and I glided right in

Like a gift, I drew the attention of your people

At this point, you didn’t even see me as your equal

Then, I emerged from the slow wooden door

Armor adorned and your weapon forlorn

You were defenseless as I charmed the masses

The power shift was as smooth as molasses

They were drawn to me like children to a shiny new toy

I kept those gazes, those praises, while you were a weak, little boy

I do not look powerful

I wear hydrangeas in my hair

My presence didn’t seem pivotal

But now I’ve taken control of this affair

I shut you out of your own kingdom

While I do it, I play dumb

You continue to TRUST

I watch you RUST

And I crown myself queen

Even angels can grow a little mean

Watch me from the cracks and admire my eyes

Unlike yours, they don’t shift from the prize

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Toxicity/Felicity

Toxicity versus felicity

Toxicity moved to the city

Where the eons of lights blaze pretty

Felicity stayed witty

He did not trade for this artificial pity

And while Toxicity screamed at the moon

About how she has hated the world since June

Felicity stayed quiet and sweet

Knowing that if he remained, his joy he’d meet

Toxicity knew that she had no higher ground

So she dug at Felicity’s feet with hands shackle bound

She’s weighed down by her own demons that she has designed for herself

She calls Felicity the real demon and she puts his flaws upon her victory shelf

Felicity does not give up even with these uneven terrains

Toxicity has been told to leave, but she still remains

Leaving poison, labeled and addressed, right in plain sight

It’s astonishing how she can possibly think she’s the hero tonight

Felicity sees her tricks and ploys

He sees her victims and her decoys

He walks away to find freedom

She chooses to play dumb

Calling Felicity the source of toxicity

Telling him that he’s why the world is numb

Though they’re both entirely human

One lives in a world of illusion

Where up is down and left is right

Where villains are godsend from the light

Shut off your mind

Stop playing this game

The traces and threats you’ve left behind

Are what have poisoned your golden flame

Toxicity is slowly, lowly fading

She’s almost been blown out

We pray she’s been masquerading

And that love is what she’s truly about

Perhaps this dark wave of toxicity

Is actually a front for light and simplicity

But of course we could whisper, “Then again...

Maybe Toxicity is pure evil that we can’t explain.”

[disneylookalikes-post]

@poetarumpegasus your lookalike is Queen Elinor from brave! I see it in the face and mouth shape! Thank you for the submission👑🧡

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Switchblade Dame

Switchblade out

Switchblade out

A toxic being crawls about,

Peering through the gaps in her web,

Praying for us all to misstep,

Preying with lust for the dead...

Thinking these rough waters she can tread.

Switchblade out

Switchblade ready

She’s anything but steady,

Scrawling messages on every wall,

In blood, in ink, in screams that maul,

In corners she thinks go unseen...

In her episodes that frighten and demean.

Switchblade out

Switchblade thrusted

She has never been trusted.

The bile she projects, so green and burning.

Can she feel her psyche turning?

Going madder and madder every day

As she tries to write the demons away.

Switchblade out

Switchblade in

She goes down, down in a tailspin.

Strands keeping her together grown weak.

Through a pocket mirror she takes a peek

At those who drove her to this hellish place,

Yet she sees only her own nefarious face

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Deep-Sea Monsters

Inside my cranium

Is an ocean

Under a navy blue sun

And in its waters

You’d find all sorts of things

All my endings and beginnings

Upon the surface

Floats my voice and the color of my favorite shoes

Just below waters’ line

That song that I casually shared with you

And as you dove deeper down

Pulling water to project yourself

You’d pass the things that I say

The peculiar diction

The childlike whimsy

The unwavering words of confidence

Deeper

Deepest

Down

Here are the creatures unknown to science

The ones with a billion limbs

And scales of light

The ones with teeth where there ought to be eyes

Their parts all churned about

A frightening sight

For an amateur swimmer

Who drifted too far from safety

These exist only for me

Their creator

And they are my treasured things

And you cannot appreciate them

Because you simply are not me

You’ll shrivel back to shore

Like the ones who came before

In life we search for each other’s

Deep-sea monsters

Until we find ones

That we do not fear approaching

And how honored I’d be

To find someone like me

With a monster of electric blue

Who dawns jagged fangs

And a crescent-moon tail

Or just

Someone

Who could see

The beauty

In the monsters

Within this deep, dark sea

And the monsters

Within this facade

I’ve presented

Of me

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Fool’s Gold

If I could be anything

Under this fiery sphere of gas

Or the great ball of soft cheese

I’d be a lovely fool

Not a blundering idiot

Not an ignorant monster

Just a fool

For then I could believe

In the lies that you all feed to me

About my worth

My words

My face

My place

I’d take those shreds of belief

Weave them into a blanket

Then wrap myself up well

It would be warm

It would be tender

But I could not find

A wishing well

A magical lamp

A shooting star

I could not master

Hypnosis

Mind control

Giving into the void

I could not turn off

The voices

The echoes

The volume

I’d rather know nothing

Than feel everything

I’d rather believe in the fables

Than understand their deeper meanings

I’d rather live in blind acceptance

Than in twenty-twenty rejection

Next time

I’ll be born a fool

I’ll be happier then

They’ll laugh

I won’t know why

But when my eyes shut

For that final time

I’ll believe

Genuinely and truly

That I was loved

And that I loved, too

Fool’s gold

Sparkles

Just as well

As what is real

[olivialuchinipoetry]

You Let Me Burn

A twirl around the sun back in time You watched a person douse me in gasoline And throw a single Small Yet powerful Match onto me I go up in flames And you let me burn

You only want for my presence when it is for you Oh, young elder, too large for your brain that is too small for your body I am not a music box for you to wind up When you need a happy song to charm your ears Oh, old infant, can’t you see? People aren’t just toys for you to obtain They love and they crash, all the same You’ve yet to learn to support the high and the lows A world made only of highs just leaves it flat once more Is that what you want? A world with nothing at all?

You let me burn Even when I screamed at you for help Sent you messages about how the flames were singeing my skin Told you I didn’t think I would make it one more minute You didn’t respond But your eyes looked on You asked me while I perished if I could tie your shoe What a thought, this dying girl bending down for you You don’t see the irony in why my help for your sake would be obscene For a girl who claims to read so much, you have no knowledge of humans Or the actions that give them angel wings

I met angels in my life, fire starter I met them before you and I met them after They come when you need them and they fill you with laughter They don’t ask for any compensation, and they don’t shut you up with tape They let you spill your words like a tipped jar of paint On this splattered page, they add their own paint to make it into art This is what humanity is You should soon start

You claimed I was your first and foremost in the world But you sit in front of me And you let me burn Don’t you know, you burning, wrinkled baby? You only get one first and foremost every time the blue moon leaps into the sky I hope you learn when another one passes by

Fire gazer, You let me burn I asked for your help You gave me your dirty laundry These soiled shirts and tattered pants We understand You are busy, and I am busy too Most would argue, I’m busier than you But open up your eyes and see You can only burn away once There’s no second chance

Why are you letting me go? As you yawn and give up. You didn’t lift a finger! Not even a pinky Strangers did more than you They made themselves my sisters You sat back and you watched the bonfire from behind a metal fence I’d hate for my ashes to be your inconvenience

I am strong again, careless eyes With careless mistakes And careless lies I have an army behind me to thank for this life One in which I never thought I could make it all right Here I stand, stronger than before There are no white flags up anymore You once got angered by my misfortunes Now, I watch as you beg for friends Like another might beg for pennies in a guitar case I hope this was your dream I hope you’re proud

You watched me burn You let others put it out

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Thunder and Lightning

When I was Peewee

And sat with Pops

We’d look out the old screen door

To see the thunder and lightning

Battle above the tiled roofs beyond

And the giant clouds belted

Their baritone bellows

But I did not fear

And the bolts lunged

Across the navy blue ceiling

But I did not fear

And the rain pelted down

On the concrete corner of the yard

But I remain

And the storm will come

And the storm will go

The brightness of the sun

Is swapped for the brightness of bolts

And the pastel blue skies

Fall ill with the grays

But neither is more beautiful

Neither is more powerful

The balance keeps me human

Blue skies cannot teach me every lesson

So the baritone bellows and the bright bolts

Can come crashing through those

Black velvet curtains

And strike a symphony on center stage

And I will not fear

For I know none of it is permanent

You can deliver me the hurricane

But I will not fear

Because I know there is warmth in the days to come

And you can push me under the closest awning

To wait out the great storm

But one day I will walk back out

Powerful and joyous

And I do not fear

And I remain

[olivialuchinipoetry]

flight toward the topaz sun

falling in reverse

away from the shackles

free from the pull of the earth

the solidity of air

beneath my spine

an embrace of support

though no hands hold

freedom comes in waves

she is not everlasting

she is not permanent

for this moment, I am with her

nothing to face as a mountain in my path

nothing to climb or overcome

nothing to fear

I find God in the wind

in its softness against my face

like a gentle hand out of thin air

it tells me that someone is there

though invisible

though unprovable

security overcomes me

existence is no freedom

it is the prison of my body

and it is my fists against

her iron-clad exterior

what one would give to break free

I’d melt this cage to a molten mixture

and I’d form a shield for me

with this weapon of protection

I’d take on life and her woes

life is no festival

life is no riot

she is both at once

sometimes at the same time

shield me from the rage

bring me the joy

I am hunting happy

cannot you see?

take these weights

they limit me

I want to merge with the colors on the canvas above

somehow I equivocate their hues with love

give me the happiness that pulses from that sky

the one that blends the spectrum into a lullaby

oh, gusts of air along my path

guide me to a promised land

the one with pastel, candied skies

and a sun of paradise orange

oh, freedom take me with you

give strength to my voice to rebel

give me the wit with my tales to tell

I hunt happy in the swirls of wind

I see the glimmer of hope in its delicateness

isolation brings introspection

me, against the push of nothing

that comes from the touchable sky

without you all, who am I?

I look to the clouds for answers

at our freest, what are we?

is there even a thread of what we pretend to be?

in these lavender skies that hold the topaz sun

am I me?

or someone new?

I have yet to meet her

but I’m dying to

with every tiptoe toward the end

we miss a chance to find our dearest friend

the one within these iron walls

melt them down

let that guard fall

release your you to the wind that blows

let them fly and see where they’ll go

freedom from the air

freedom cascades everywhere

[olivialuchinipoetry]

In the Web

I found you in the deepest corner of the web.

An endless search now over, but in such a dissatisfying way.

You say five words in a video, and your voice sounds so new.

I wish I could have just talked to you,

A break in the stream; the river threw me right and it threw you left.

A small part of me believed this would lead to your death.

I see you, ironically, talking about the dangers of suicide,

A twist in the pessimism I had drowned your narrative in.

You look well and I hope you are.

I think about our time often, and I think of your strength when I have none.

On a quest to be the bravest, you were the bravest one I ever knew.

You were a lost cat in the woods. An impossible search. You weren’t moving, but you refused to be found. Somehow, just seeing a picture of you brings peace.

To know you are all right, despite the challenges.

To know that you thrive, despite how I let you down. 

What I would have done differently.

What I would have done.

[olivialuchinipoetry]

You Let Me Burn

A twirl around the sun back in time You watched a person douse me in gasoline And throw a single Small Yet powerful Match onto me I go up in flames And you let me burn

You only want for my presence when it is for you Oh, young elder, too large for your brain that is too small for your body I am not a music box for you to wind up When you need a happy song to charm your ears Oh, old infant, can’t you see? People aren’t just toys for you to obtain They love and they crash, all the same You’ve yet to learn to support the high and the lows A world made only of highs just leaves it flat once more Is that what you want? A world with nothing at all?

You let me burn Even when I screamed at you for help Sent you messages about how the flames were singeing my skin Told you I didn’t think I would make it one more minute You didn’t respond But your eyes looked on You asked me while I perished if I could tie your shoe What a thought, this dying girl bending down for you You don’t see the irony in why my help for your sake would be obscene For a girl who claims to read so much, you have no knowledge of humans Or the actions that give them angel wings

I met angels in my life, fire starter I met them before you and I met them after They come when you need them and they fill you with laughter They don’t ask for any compensation, and they don’t shut you up with tape They let you spill your words like a tipped jar of paint On this splattered page, they add their own paint to make it into art This is what humanity is You should soon start

You claimed I was your first and foremost in the world But you sit in front of me And you let me burn Don’t you know, you burning, wrinkled baby? You only get one first and foremost every time the blue moon leaps into the sky I hope you learn when another one passes by

Fire gazer, You let me burn I asked for your help You gave me your dirty laundry These soiled shirts and tattered pants We understand You are busy, and I am busy too Most would argue, I’m busier than you But open up your eyes and see You can only burn away once There’s no second chance

Why are you letting me go? As you yawn and give up. You didn’t lift a finger! Not even a pinky Strangers did more than you They made themselves my sisters You sat back and you watched the bonfire from behind a metal fence I’d hate for my ashes to be your inconvenience

I am strong again, careless eyes With careless mistakes And careless lies I have an army behind me to thank for this life One in which I never thought I could make it all right Here I stand, stronger than before There are no white flags up anymore You once got angered by my misfortunes Now, I watch as you beg for friends Like another might beg for pennies in a guitar case I hope this was your dream I hope you’re proud

You watched me burn You let others put it out

[olivialuchinipoetry]

You and Your Joy

You made an announcement to the void today You and your other half Say that you are simply in love with life That you couldn’t be happier And I find myself offended That you could say this in front of the world When you ruined me Took my treasures and threw them in the sea I can’t battle the waves That vicious moon pushes me away So I can’t be glad that you found your heart’s sun I can’t be happy at your happiness You wish me happy birthday Happy New Year Merry Christmas! But are you just satisfied that time is passing? Pulling my brain further and further away from your crimes I believe in the man in the sky I believe in his stories that are written so well The plots so good that some people die before they get to the twist But the sense in why your tale has a diamond castle and a garden of fresh flowers and fauna while mine is trapped in darkness and ridden with the periodic swoop of a raven’s wings Well I don’t think there is any So I won’t applaud your merriment As I’m deep-sea diving for what you took from me one still, windless night

[olivialuchinipoetry]

If you can make them laugh, make them smile

It’ll give you that gram to push a little while

And if you can hide it from them, then that’s a win

Let all the people believe your troubles are thin

And under a cold blanket in a stuffy room

Close your eyes and dream of a tomb

It’s heavy in your heart

Try to mold it into art

Try to make them all feel that bliss

There’s got to be some reason for this

[olivialuchinipoetry]

It keeps pushing

It keeps pushing In the dead of the night In the chill of the morning In the silence of the afternoon It keeps pushing On a crowded bus On a paradise, family vacation On the days when they tell you it won’t It keeps pushing

It keeps pushing In July, just when it started Where a dark, dark eve left me brokenhearted An artificial persona created to dull the explosion It keeps pushing Like crashing waves in a swirling ocean It’ll follow you to August Where you pretend you’ve got joy And you let someone manipulate you Some little, bully boy The ones you condemned throughout your whole life Becomes the very thing you allow to churn your strife It keeps pushing As hot becomes chill And September clouds run over the hills I lie to an army of women About why I am so glum I hide it with a melodic hum They don’t believe me But I can’t let them see It keeps pushing As I lose myself with every day I wind up on a couch in a teary haze A woman who can’t figure it out My eyes seem to cure this drought I feel slightly healed But maybe it’s just the mask I wield It keeps pushing Come October, I snap I fall to my knees, with a gentle tap Saved barely by song and a group of kind heroes I rebuild myself when my spirit was coming up zeroes It keeps pushing At a Thanksgiving feast A family surrounds that has come from the east So many people, yet I am so isolated This is the part that I’ve always hated The ability to make a room echoed with voices Sound so silent, and fogged with regret of my choices It keeps pushing On Christmas Eve A day dedicated to birth and family But winter in literature is a time for death So every day feels like I’m drawing a last breath Villains from before glide through the background But I don’t make a sound I don’t make a sound It keeps pushing It follows in January When a captor has had enough Throws me down a well just to prove that they’re tough My cries echo, just back to me Has the world always been this wet, cold, and lonely? I shake in my bed, by myself till the crack of dawn No one can see, no one can know what’s going on When the vision blurs and the world goes dark I don’t leave a trace, I don’t leave a mark It keeps pushing Through a February forgotten I think back to this month so often As I can’t recall much that happened at all Perhaps I’d lost all feeling, built up a brick wall So we’ll record this one month as a win Since it doesn’t plague me with a sting within It keeps pushing March I was a fool Drowning in responsibilities that could fill a pool A part of my soul danced out of my eyes I didn’t even know, I didn’t even realize Who is that girl, in the mirror with the frown? I don’t know her, and I’ve never seen her around. We reach up, touch hand to hand She’d become my enemy, just as she’d planned It keeps pushing Come April, it does My escape car took a wrong turn Left me in the dust I sit without feeling, not that i have in months Not knowing where to go My only way out has vanished like that So I sleep in the center of the road Praying for a crash It keeps pushing In May When a hand feels so empty I lived a year fearing love, but maybe I’m ready I’d just like someone to be here next to me But who could love a broken thing? I’m like a crumpled sheet of paper, thrown at a wall Worthless due to my creases, dents, and all And I’d give the world to have someone here Who wouldn’t hurt me, or pour into me all my fears It keeps pushing Come June You do what you think it right But are thrown down soon One more tragedy is too much to handle You begin to lose grip and you’re becoming unstable A candle to blow out in just a few days Seems to not shine in this deep, dark haze I can’t do it anymore and I’d sure like to quit But the going isn’t done, this isn’t it If it pushes you, they say push back But how many time do I do it before I let myself crack? It keeps pushing

It keeps pushing For 365 days Look at all of these ways That life has thrust the bird in my face Let it flutter and then put me back in my place I’d kill for a rainbow after this year of storm Maybe something fresh and something warm It keeps pushing Even when you say you’ve had enough Even when the going has surpassed tough It keeps pushing when you beg it to stop It keeps pushing when you feel your heart drop It keeps pushing when you reach deep within Finding the last piece of you that thinks you can win It keeps pushing when you look down from the cliff And dream of making that jump so swift It keeps pushing when you try to make everyone else smile It keeps pushing even though you’ve been a statue of stone for a long while It keeps pushing It keeps pushing It keeps on pushing

[olivialuchinipoetry]

I fed myself to my demons because I let my angels down

[olivialuchinipoetry]

Drugs

I am a drug. No good for you. A tax upon the currency of time you're given each day, For I cannot give to you. I will take and take and take and. I will take what I cannot return, Wanting so badly to muster up a simple compliment, I will drive us both mad. My greed is my plentiful bounty as I ask for you. You! You who deserves the sun and the sky for being so good. My desire is pathetic Ridiculous in its nature and rejected in its request. How idiotic my form is. Why can't I love you so fully back? I am a drug. I'm going to rot you from the inside out. I'm going to make you dream of things I'll say to you. Testaments of love that bring the very pages to tears. Compliments so high that the stars cannot reach them. You will wait. Wait, wait, wait... You'll wait for me, you beautiful fool. I'll wait for me, too. I'll wait for myself to change. You are a drug. You give me ideas of fantastical things. Our companionship and mutuality in all are things that I crave. I long to linger in your heart while you linger in mine. I so deeply want to be able to love you. I'll pay any penny in the world for that. I'll let it destroy the lungs that breath you in. I'll get addicted to a dream, while reality pulls you away. We are drugs. We are addicted. We are drugs. We just aren't the same kind.