got a tattoo, bleached my hair (dying it purple tomorrow), gonna convince my boss to give me a raise for pride (i'm the only gay employee), i'm getting my lashes done in three days and in two days i'm gonna pierce some people. fuck yeah
Tim Drake who hates his dad for various reasons, very few to do with his parenting and more for his actual personality, but his mother?
There isn’t a person alive he adores more than her.
Like, he genuinely worships the ground she stands on and will spend hundreds of hours thinking about what present to give her with a dozens ideas and he always, always, just decides to do them all.
His way of greeting his mother is to kiss her hands, the hands that raised him and defend him from people like Vale with unrelenting force.
Janet isn’t a submissive woman, she is a mother.
Like a predator in the wild, she will do whatever it takes to take care of her son. Janet is a quick witted woman raised in the high class, meaning she can verbally destroy anyone no matter how much their net worth is.
One of the most well known photos from all of Gotham is when Lex Luther came to visit and made a subtle remark about Tim being apart of the ‘woke kids’ after it spoke out about climate change. The photo is of Janet Drake, a remarkably tall woman in stiletto’s, pointing a finger at Lex Luther as if a witch making a curse, the hairless man standing there with a look of genuine regret, and nine year old Tim Drake standing behind his mother with a shit eating grin.
It naturally gets memed.
Tim has called restaurants ahead of time to make sure they will have his mother’s favourite wine when she goes to dinner events, dates with Jack, or a family dinner since he learnt what it was. (And if not then anything Bordeaux will do.)
Tim would come home and cry whenever he wasn’t able to tell his mum about the secret parts of his day, such as him taking photos of Batman and when he became Robin.
But his mother has so much to deal with, so many rude people and conniving businessmen, sexist journalist and people attacking her for her overtly pro-choice commentary.
She doesn’t need to worry about her baby boy and he calls her every night anyway, so she’ll know he is okay.
After all, she went through a horrible pregnancy and never once took it out on or blamed her son.
She went through body dysphoria from how it changed her, struggling with how her hips felt bigger and her whole self felt different, but learnt to love it because it was just proof she did the best she could for her baby.
Even though she went on trips with her husband, she never once forgot to call her son or bring him back little souvenirs. She fully supported him taking photos, buying him a camera even though she didn’t get the appeal, and would laugh so brightly when little Tim begged to take photos of her even though she had just woken up without a hint of make up on and curlers still in her hair.
Naturally, when she passes away he is a wreck.
Even Vickie Vale keeps quiet about it, knowing that the love the boy has for his mother isn’t something to mess with.
Photos of him sobbing at her grave are shamed by the masses, the journalist and paparazzi who toon the photos getting all kinds of backlash.
Bruce, who had once been watched by Tim like a hawk to make sure he wouldn’t do the same thing, subtly puts Tim on watch just in case. He’s not sure if Tim is at that breaking point, but the teenager spends hours walking around the empty house he and his mother used to live in while waiting for his dad to wake up. He’s like a ghost some days, wearing the same clothes and barely talking, while other days it’s like he’s running on pure determination to be the best Robin and heir for his mother’s company.
After a few months, Dick asks Tim what keeps him going even though he’s clearly hurting.
Tim, who has worn black most of that time like Queen Victoria, smiled at his pseudo-brother and answers like it’s obvious,
Jack: Janet, not that I don't love being visited by your ghost, but why now? ...is this about how we buried you? I TOLD the priest the coffin should have been deeper-
Ghost!Janet: the coffin is fine. I am here because you reneged our vow.
Jack: oh, okay. Which one? We had a lot.
Janet: you promised if I died you would marry a young, sexy rebound spouse. It's been 18 months and you're still single, Jack. Where's the loyalty?!
Jack: I'm working on it! Have some patience, woman, I had to relearn to walk first!
Janet: no excuses, your life needs more drama. How am I supposed to enjoy watching over you if you have no love life?
Jack: I don't know, maybe watch OUR SON instead!
Janet: Timothy is fine. He has Batman to look after him while he moonlights as Robin. I'm more concerned with the fact you haven't been on a date since your coma.
fanon Janet: I WILL make you eat toothpicks through a straw if you ever make that suggestion again, Travis.
Canon Janet: Thus apple moved half a centimeter to the left after being placed on a flat surface... The only solution? My Mother's ghost.
Not joking, btw. Janet Drake believed in some wild s#-3$ and I feel like it's so depressing that she was probably a conspiracy theory with blonde hair, and Bernard is... Yeah. Yeah. Think on that.
"She was always a believer in the world we couldn't see, so she believes me now."
Can we just... "Yeah, in my reality you and Dad are dead and I'm a superhero now." And she just... She asks if he has someone taking care of him. That's all she cares about. She believes every word and asks if he has someone still there for him.
Janet Drake who is willing to crawl back out of her fucking grave and wrap her hands around Jack and Bruce's throats if they even dare to hurt her fucking baby.
Jack who for just a moment after all the bullshit of Robin and everything else going on with Tim thought about it. Could almost picture striking his son, maybe it would teach him something. Only for shiver to travel along his spine, a shadow crossing the corner of his eye, a noise so primal it set every one of his teeth on edge.
A predator was waiting. Letting him decide his fate.
He backed down.
Bruce the very man that has made Gotham tremble has never been so terrified as the day he pushed Tim in training and he didn't get back up.
Alfred who swooped in to comfort Tim.
Bruce who couldn't even move his very body frozen in fear, he could feel it pressing down on his throat. He woke up the next morning covered in bruises a distinct hand print on his throat, for the rest of the month he heard what would sound like heels walking the halls everytime he dared to go within a foot of Tim.
Jason has he hunting Tim through titans tower, a foot of space about to be cleared only to feel a power like no other wrap around him. Throwing him clean though the wall. As soon as his eyes shut a nightmare so traumatizing he refused to explain what happened to Bruce. He never again tried to hurt Tim.
Janet Drake who even dead refuses to leave her baby alone. Who spent almost 36 hours bringing him into this world and will be damned if anyone tries to take him from it.
Everyone on the Wayne family learned to never leave a single mark on Tim or else the noise of heels will follows them until she is appeased.
This is basically just: What if, when Bruce just got Dick, he begins randomly asking the Drake's for parenting advice? Oh, also "creepy" kid Tim, for you weirdos who think he's creepy, smh /j Also, Janet with her characterization of "slightly unhinged Mother who believes just about anything and probably has a special interest in ancient history and corpses and believes the most outlandish things. Like alternate versions of her son appearing from rips in space and time."
—
Bruce, during a gala, holding Dick by the scruff: Listen, I know sometimes it seems like a good idea to trip... Rude individuals down a flight of stairs, but—
Dick, eight and smol, whispering: We literally punch human traffickers though! >:(
Bruce: Yes, but...
Tim, smol, two years old, four apples tall, very smol: •_•
Bruce: . . . Hello?
Janet: Tim! Hi, Mr. Wayne, sorry about him. He's...
Tim: •_•
Janet: Undiagnosed.
Bruce: . . . With what?
Janet: We aren't sure, but we love him anyways.
Dick: Oh! We met at the circus! :D
Tim, making grabby hands for Dick:
Dick: :o I've been chosen.
Dick, stealing Tim to go run off:
Bruce: . . . Kids?
Janet: Oh, they're lovely! I had Tim in plane over the Atlantic. The doctors got his due date wrong by two months! Can you believe it?
Bruce: I couldn't imagine.
Janet: Ugh, Jack couldn't either, he claimed Tim was just an enlarged cyst for five months into the pregnancy and that it was nothing a good coffee couldn't fix.
Bruce: Well, you two seem to have it...
Tim, eating a lose button off the floor:
Dick: Wow.
Bruce: . . . figured out.
Janet: No such things as having kids figured out. They'll surprise you every time you think you got it.
Bruce: I'm learning that quickly.
Janet: . . . You're doing a good thing, we were there the night. . . It happened. Horrible thing for a child to go through.
Bruce: I didn't realize... Is that why your son is, uh..?
Janet: Hm? Oh, no, I thought he was an alien briefly, but a DNA test disproved that.
Bruce: Rrright.
Tim, waddling right behind a random women for five minutes unannounced without making a sound, jump scaring her when he sneezes:
—
Bruce, on the phone: Jack, buddy, quickly, how normal would it be if Tim happened to take a shaver to his head and shave himself bald?
Dick, crying in the background: I LOOK LIKE LEX LUTHER!
Jack: . . . You left a shaver out with a kid running around?
Bruce: Oh god, I'm a terrible Father...
Jack: No, no, we all make... Completely bald?
Bruce: Completely bald.
—
Dick: Wanna see a cool trick?!
Tim, nodding:
Dick, inhaling sharply:
Dick: BRUUUUUUUUCE!
Bruce, rushing in: Dick! Wha— Why's Tim here?!
Dick: He wandered in through the window.
Bruce: Dick, this is the third story of the manor.
Dick:
Bruce:
Tim:
Bruce: . . . I'll call the Drake's.
—
Dick: Yeah, B said I can get a nose piercing.
Janet: . . . You're nine.
Dick: And a half! He let's me do pretty much whatever.
Jack:
Janet:
Bruce: Hey chum! Thank you two again for watching him, normally Alfred's around for these things—
Jack: You're letting him get a nose piercing?
Bruce: . . . Yeeeeees?
Janet: You know what? I think I have a book lying around, a parenting one! Great for child development.
Dick: It's gonna be red.
Jack: Bruce, pray tell, how do you think you raise a kid?
Bruce: . . . I can lift him?
—
Bruce, knocking on the Drake's door at two in the morning:
Jack: Bruce..? What the h—
Bruce, holding Dick up, who's missing a tooth: HIS TOOTH FELL OUT!?
Dick: I wiggled it and it popped out! :D
Jack: . . . Bruce.
Bruce: I took Janet's advice and have him brush them daily, he flosses, I even started buying mouthwash for children!
Dick: It's bubblegum flavor.
Jack: Bruce.
Bruce: He started complaining that it "felt wiggly" and I ignored it! I'm a failure, I'm a terrible Father—
Dick: You're not my Dad >:(
Jack: Bruce! Did you not lose your baby teeth?!
Bruce, who lost all his baby teeth through school fights and dental work:
Bruce: The what?
Janet: And why is your kid up at two in the morning??
—
Bruce: . . .
Janet: Just tell him no.
Dick, staring Bruce in the eye after asking for "ten hundred bucks":
Janet: Bruce.
Bruce: . . . Chum,
Dick, instantly sniffling: My parents are dead.
Bruce, opening his wallet instantly:
Janet: Oh, he's good.
—
Dick, hanging from a chandelier: Are you guys sleeping with Bruce?
Jack: Wha...
Dick: Answer the question -_-
Janet: We slept with your parents before they died.
Jack: Janet!
—
Jack: I don't really handle the punishment and discipline, that's more Jan's speed.
Bruce: Dick kicked a kid in his genitals today after shouting that he was, and I quote, "Going to end his f#-$-#&$ bloodline."
Jack: . . . So he won the fight?
Bruce, smiling proudly: Oh, he won the fight.
—
Janet, hugging Tim:
Bruce: . . . How does she do that?
Jack: . . . Give affection?
Bruce: Yes.
—
Jack: I heard Dick moved out.
Janet: Really? He's only sixteen.
Jack: Eh, Wayne always was a... Questionable parent.
Janet: Oh, hush, he's trying his best—
Bruce, at the door, holding up Jason: I got another one! :D
Janet:
Jack:
Tim, stabbing a piece of paper violently with a pencil: He found that one near a dumpster.
I desperately want a long form ‘Tim joins the bat family late’ fic where he becomes a vigilante on his own and Janet Drake is his like. Alfred Pennyworth equivalent. But more rich mum coded
‘Timothy dear you have school tomorrow, leave it to the bat to handle for now’
‘Timothy. How am I supposed to explain a shattered hand to the press at the gala next week hmm? I Don’t believe skate boarding will cover this’
‘Timothy if that bat tries to take you from me I will uncover his identity- what do you mean how do I know?’
Let Tim have his mum, let them sass and be logically intelligent and emotionally caring but blunt.
The only acceptable trans Tim headcanon would be Tim introducing himself to the batfam as a boy from the get-go with such confidence that no one questions him. Then, his first solo case as Robin is investigating the disappearance of Jack and Janet Drake's "daughter," so he pretends to have a twin sister by forging a bunch of documents and photoshopping family pictures. He then fabricates evidence of her death, committing multiple crimes in the process, and holds a fake funeral at the end. Because if his previous name is dead to him, he's gonna kill it the Tim Drake way
Damian: Out of respect for the Robin name, I have been researching the person who originated it: Mary Grayson (nee Lloyd).
Bruce: Oh, find anything good?
Damian: Were you aware she had a criminal record?
Bruce: Yes.
Tim: Of course. I have a copy of it at home.
Jason: I mean I didn't. But I'm not surprised.
Damian: Why not?
Jason: Because I've met her son. I imagine Mary Grayson was involved in every anti-authoritarian protest she came across on her travels. What I would be more interested in is learning exactly what Janet Drake was up to to create Master Stalker over there.
Tim: Dick, no one else is even in the running. please be so fr right now
Damian: What are you arguing about?
Dick: Damian! Damian can do it! He’d be great at it.
Tim: No, Damian’s gonna follow his paternal grandfathers lead and be a doctor. Everyone only has to take on ONE element of Bruce. Try again
Jason: They are arguing about which one of us should be the newest representative for the Justice League for when Bruce finally conks it.
Damian: That would be an honor no? Richard you would be a competent ruler.
Cas: Leader
Damian: Whatever. I assume Timothy will be taking on WE in the event of father’s passing, so wouldn’t Jason also be in the running?
Tim: No i called dibs on Jason
Jason: What? What are you talking about. You can’t call dibs on me. What if I want to run the Justice League?
Tim: You don’t. You are going to run the Wayne foundation. Take from the rich give to the poor. Modern day Robin Hood—Very on brand for you. Don’t worry I have the contracts and everything ready.
Jason: …
Jason: Ok deal. Sorry Dickie, looks like your going to rule the interplanetary alliance :P
Dick: I don’t wanna!
Tim: What, do you wanna switch?
Dick: Well, no—
Tim: Also you’re the only one that makes sense.
Dick: I’ll do anything else, please that’s too much responsibility.
Tim: Okay. Be Batman.
Dick: …
Dick: Yea never mind. Running the Justice League won’t be that hard.
Damian: Wait so who will be Batman?
Cass: Dibs
Damian, Tim, Jason, Dick: Fair
Bruce, who’s been sitting at the dining room table with them the whole time: Are you done dividing my assets and responsibilities between yourselves now? Can we eat our dinner?
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