trying on a metaphor
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@omfgjohnlock
Hello sneaky-salty-bitch and Hotbrownwater here. My account has been terminated so…. All that work I’ll just start crying. While Hotbrownwater is still up I can’t access my main account because it’s gone and that was a sideblog. Idk if they can get it back. I’ve sent support tickets but I’m not getting confirmation emails that they’re receiving them. My heart is broken.
update, I made a new account for it. You can find me here: @sneakysaltybitch
Hello everyone! Last night my account sneaky-salty-bitch got shadowbanned. This morning when I woke up, it was terminated. I lost all of my work, all my followers, everything. I had even made a side blog with my back up username I wanted to use once I was shadowbanned and now have lost access to that. My heart is heavy and I've honestly lost motivation to continue doing anything.
I do have an ask of you though. If ANY of you come across any of my posts from sneaky-salty-bitch (just the originals I made. I don't care about posts | reblogged) can you PLEASE DM them to me. Either here or on my now only main account @/omfgjohnlock ???? I would be immensely grateful and I will even make you an edit of your choice. I don't even care what fandom. What ship. What saying. - though if I don't know the fandom I'll need a bit of context on how to make it in character. - just.... I'm so sad and I've reached out to support but I'm not getting confirmation emails that they got my tickets so I honestly don't know what's to come. Anyway. If you were following me originally, a follow would be nice, but again. Up to you. Thank you so much guys.
Honestly a bit scared to even make a new account because I lost both of mine in twenty four hours for absolutely no reason??? I mean they were on the same blog so I guess I only lost one but the point still stands it can happen again and I am terrified.
I've been informed by @/flannelplanet - not going to tag because I'm scared to do anything rn - that my account probably got terminated because I tried to post with a read more cut. I'm even more upset. Wtf tumblr.
How did we end up here?
This is just who I am now and you lot will just have to accept that.
Also my photoshop skills are fire. You can’t even tell the top one is photoshopped 😎
picture this:
Ted and Rebecca are in an established relationship and they go out to karaoke. Ted usually just sings oldies but this time he goes up to the stage, he’s selected a song she doesn’t recognize, and more interesting it’s newer. And then the song starts playing and it’s like hard core country. He’s going back to his roots. And before he sings he points to her and says this is for my girl. And winks.
And he just goes full on country, his accent getting a little bit thicker than normal, even his stance and body movements changing slightly, his flamboyant side coming out and then he sings:
“My girl is bangin’.
She’s so low maintenance.
Don’t need no champagne poppin’ entertainment.
Take her to Wendy’s
Can’t keep her off me.
She wanna dip me like them fries in her frosty.”
And Rebecca is just absolutely fucking floored
Gif cred (x)
she’s never seen Ted like this before. 2. She’s never heard the song before in her life and doesn’t understand half of the shit he’s even saying. And 3. Those facts he’s singing are the farthest from the truth. She is extremely high maintenance. And on top of all of that she’s turned bright red with embarrassment as the team whistles at ted and looks at her as he continues.
“But every now and then when I get paid
I gotta spoil my baby with an upgrade. Ayyy! Ayyy! Ayyy! Ayyy!!”
And she just sinks down in her chair, embarrassed out of her mind. This is the man she has chosen to be with oh god. And then…. The chorus drops and somehow he’s managed to put the mic in the mic stand so he can have both of his hands free. And he starts dancing as he sings the chorus. And she just dies.
Gif credit: mine
She would be absolutely mortified, all the while thinking about how this song is not about her, or them in, the slightest. But knowing Ted didn’t do it for the lyrics specifically, but just to make her smile and happy. And while she is embarrassed beyond her god damn mind, it didn’t stop her heart from growing ten sizes that day and falling even more in love with this man than she even thought possible.
Hello sneaky-salty-bitch and Hotbrownwater here. My account has been terminated so…. All that work I’ll just start crying. While Hotbrownwater is still up I can’t access my main account because it’s gone and that was a sideblog. Idk if they can get it back. I’ve sent support tickets but I’m not getting confirmation emails that they’re receiving them. My heart is broken.
Hello guys!!! It’s sneaky-salty-bitch here!!! Tumblr has been an evil little thing and shadowbanned me 😩😩😩 which idek why because I wasn’t spamming anyone, wasn’t liking or following anything, only posted twice today. And yet. Here we are. So. I guess I’ll be hot brown water until my ticket goes through on this side blog of mine. And I’m v bitter about it. So my tumblr is going to be very into that bitter theme.
ANYWAY I’m OKAY. I didn’t LEAVE THE FANDOM OR GHOST MY FOLLOWERS. I AM HERE. HEREEEEEE SO PLEASE FOLLOW ME UNTIL WE GET THIS RESOLVED.
If you need to dm me you can find me at omfgjohnlock okay. I love you all and hope this gets fixed because I’m so sad about it.
Also before you ask, it’s like a proper shadowban. Not just my posts not showing up in links. I can’t message anyone, no one sees my asks, or comments, or reblogs. If you try and search my name I will not come up at all. 😞
💔💔💔
Hello children of the corn!!! I decided that, while I haven’t been on this platform lately and only started again because of Ted Lasso…. I can’t bear the thought of rebranding my Sherlock account. A fandom that I devoted 10 years of my life to. I want to change the name and theme so people know it’s primarily a Ted Lasso account, but I just can’t let go of this…. So. I made a new one. If you’ve been interested in what I’ve posted and want to follow me. Please do!! I just thought let people know that’s where I’m going to be from now on in terms of Ted Lasso. Thank you so much!! I love you all and I look forward to crying with you!
Also yes. I made my profile picture. Here it is for you (:
You spoke to God?!
I’m watching the last episode right now and I only have like 10 minutes left but I just started laughing hysterically because Ted and Rebecca are talking in her office and then Sam comes in and, Ted being the gentleman that he is, gets up to leave to give them privacy and Rebecca just has this quiet voice as she says “no. Ted. Stay.” Which was close to a whimper, I would say. Anyway, not the point. - so Ted just slowly sits back down and clears his throat and says “oh… okay.” Because you know that man is going to do anything for Rebecca and she wants him there but inside he is just like “good god I do not want to be here right now and witness the heartbreak of her getting back with him.” But ya’know. He’s going to be there for Rebecca no matter what. He would move the moon for her if she asked him to 😭 but seriously just his reaction as he’s sitting down all awkwardly and then just sheepishly looking around the room has me howling 😂😂😂😂
And then after when he tells Ted he wishes it’s because it was because of his feelings for him and it’s just so so obvious he’s talking to Rebecca so after he leaves both Rebecca and Ted are just awkwardly sitting there in silence, not quite sure what to do and idk why I find that so funny but I do.
When Rebecca comes into Teds office and tells him about Sam. And he just has the softest of smiles as he says “you know boss, you’re starting to develop a habit.” And she just looks at him so confused and is like “am I?” And his face is just so so soft as he says “oh yeah. same time, same place, last year you came in here and dropped another truth bomb on me.” And she pauses and then smiles back and nods then replies “see you next year.” With the cheekiest of smiles and his face just lights tf up and he replies “can’t wait.”
AND IF THAT ISNT FORESHADOWING A LOVE CONFESSION FROM HER IN SEASON THREE I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHAT IS AND I WILL PHYSICALLY FLING MYSELF INTO THE SUN. this has been a psa.
ted & rebecca + saving each other
Listen. When she can’t go on with the song and Ted just starts singing to help her out because he knows how hard this is for her, despite the fact that he literally just had one of the worst panic attacks of his life and is most definitely not fine in the slightest. Ughhhhhhh I love them ;-;
the meta i promised aka the “it is that deep” take of this post
i think the appeal of Ted/Rebecca as a ship to a lot of lgbt folks first and foremost is: Ted. he’s a nonthreatening male character who is empathetic and emotional and his kindness comes from deep within and anything he does for Rebecca is purely because he likes her, cares about her, and just wants to brighten her day. he never has an ulterior motive and he’s a man that women would fully feel safe around (he’s not the first fictional man to have this energy ofc and he’s not the last but ykwim). now of course, characters would fall a tad bit flat if they didn’t have a little trauma as a treat, and Ted definitely has his Baggage™. but his angst and trauma being part of who he is doesn’t exist to justify his shitty behavior, but rather his past is why he tries his damn hardest to take care of others and is a helpless people pleaser. he’s also not remotely threatened by Rebecca’s strength (or height which hooo the amount of men who would squirm at the idea of a woman being 6′) or feels the need to have to “be the man” around her. even when he defends her against Rupert, he doesn’t gloat or take credit for it and it’s meant to empower her and give her agency to have the confidence to stand up to Rupert herself (and she does!)
Bro. BRO. this makes so much sense bro. I was like why tf am I so into a het ship?? (Don’t get me wrong… I like plenty of het ships… but I’ve never gotten…. Obsessed like this.) the only other ship I’ve gone absolute crazy over is johnlock and they’re gay. Meanwhile any other ship I’ve come close to also being obsessed with that hasn’t been canon - has been mlm. Most straight ships I like usually you know they’re going to get together anyway so there’s no need to like go crazy over it, I guess?? But reading this Meta… my mind is blown. It makes so much sense.
When you're a British woman, (old enough to know better, tbh) with no access to official merch and you want to show your subtle appreciation for this show without letting anyone else know how actually insane it's made you, that jumper gets added to bag. It does.
Okay hold the fuck up. These two characters on Friday the 13th 1991. In two separate parts of the fucking globe - not even separate parts, literally just opposite ends of the earth - both experienced a traumatic event that shaped who they are as adults now and people really fucking think they aren’t soulmates?!! How. HOWWWWWW. Literally at the same exact moment. Not just the same day. THE SAME EXACT FUCKING MOMENT. And not just the same time either, like oh it happened at 2pm in Kansas but also 2pm in London. But like LITERALLY THE. SAME. FUCKING. MOMENT. IN. TIME. And people have the audacity to say: yeah, no, you’re reading too much into this. I’m absolutely baffled.
LET. THEM. BE. FREE.
The differences Between Rebeccas Ex Husband vs Her Future Husband
thinking about how soft and amazing and perfect rebecca was with ted during his first panic attack and how well she helped him through it. thinking about how gently she picked up and held his jacket when she went looking for him when he had his second panic attack. thinking about this woman everyone deems as cold actually having one of the softest and purest hearts of anyone in the show and her being the one person perceptive and compassionate enough to truly see ted for who he really is beyond the goofy happy go lucky american
Of Ted's three full-blown panic attacks on screen, after the first (and Rebecca helping him through it s1e7) he sleeps with Sassy. After the third we see him leave the funeral with Sassy (s2e10). We all BELIEVE he ends up with Rebecca in the end, right? Right?? 🤞🏼
I mean…. As Ted would say….
