If I were a sunflower, I wouldn’t follow the sun.
I would turn my stem, my face, my entire being just to look at you.
There is a light in your eyes no star can imitate,
a warmth deeper than fire and a calling so ancient
my soul recognizes it without thinking.
They say sunflowers live searching for clarity,
but mine has always had a name.
The only light capable of making me bloom
even in my most broken days.
I miss you with a depth that undoes every attempt at calm.
It hurts so much that sometimes I feel empty
and other times too full of you.
Every night before I fall asleep, my heart kneels in silence.
It begs, it pleads, it prays for life to have mercy
and bring you back to me.
There is a picture of you that I keep like a secret,
like a treasure breathing over my shoulder.
Sometimes I consider making it my wallpaper
but I don’t know if that would be strange
given the distance between us.
Still, I confess I spend hours looking at it,
losing myself in your eyes,
as if they were a universe calling me home.
They are a spell I never want to escape.
Sometimes your voice fades, blends with the wind
but that same wind returns days later
and brings it back with such force that it cuts right through me.
I love you again with a devotion that knows no limit.
If I were a sunflower, I would always turn toward you.
Because you are my north, my light, my deepest destiny,
the reason my heart has never stopped beating.
