Conquest Of Misfortune

I am Zarkt, the Master of Misfortune and Conquerer of All (and I GUESS an ask guy or whatever)

[on-that-zazarkt]

I AM THE CONQUERER OF MOUNT CAVORA, BRINGER OF MISFORTUNE, FUCKER OF THOSE SOURCE DAMNED CROW WACKOS, AND FORBIDDEN GOD EMPEROR

NOKT CAN SUCK IT, HE DOESN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN COMPLAIN LIKE THE EMO HE IS AND ROX JUST MONOLOGUES

Warning: The only time I use this account is when I’m high on something, so if I’m interacting with you then take nothing I say seriously. I forget this isn’t Twitter sometimes so I get carried away, so sorry for that.

Also if I want to act like a “Normal Person” then you could count this as an ask blog, but instead of acting like a regular character I’m just a crack head or something (and my drip is immaculate, those terminal three + Kur could use a lesson)

Also also I can act like an ass while also seeming in character, I’m LITERALLY Zarkt bro

These text options are amusing

Lmao I’m a rainbow

[gr33n-with-evil]

It's Irene.

Why? What happened?

[on-that-zazarkt]

[grandsenseidareth]

Cat food run 😎

[grandsenseidareth]

Cat food run 😎

[ashbarnett]

What do you even feed it?

[grandsenseidareth]

Because she loves it!

[ashbarnett]

Dareth.

[grandsenseidareth]

I didnt have my glasses on 😞

I feed her cat food from where I get cat food

[ashbarnett]

You feed your raccoon cat food.

[grandsenseidareth]

Yeah!

[on-that-zazarkt]

Can I have some

[evilau-lloydgarmadon]

Is the Overlord like a dad to you??? I saw you call him that on one of his posts!

Ah.. that. I have no time for sentimental feelings. I said that was a mocking phrase, nothing more. ... I guess I view him in that way. //OOC: you're fast! I commented that like a couple of minutes ago lol. @theoverllrd sorry for all the notifications, but I have to ask if you're comfortable playing the role of a father figure with my evil Lloyd blog?? If not, it's completely fine!

[theoverllrd]

...Is this how adoption works for mortals..?

[anacondraipythor]

Well, this is rather awkward...

[on-that-zazarkt]

Does that make you an uncle?

You should eat him

[anacondraipythor]

What? What do you mean an uncle? Bah, the people on this site are so confusing..

[on-that-zazarkt]

Well, it varies. Have you absorbed the essence of the crystal king?

If so, that would make you one of his spawn, and as such, a cousin to The Overlord and an adoptive relative to that evil green thing.

Of course, this is all speculation, but considering how familial bonds work, you would be some sort of relative to that green thing.

[anacondraipythor]

...that is my spouse.

[on-that-zazarkt]

…You married your dad?

Though keep in mind this doesn’t mean much, since it is common practice amongst certain tribes. You’d be surprised by how small the gene pool for wolves are (there used to be roughly 80 in my town and I was related to almost 2/3rds of them)

[anacondraipythor]

It is not my father?? Who even are you??? I was temporarily gifted with a part of his power, as was the rest of the council. There is no familial connection there, it's just crystalline magic and it isn't even apart of me anymore.

[on-that-zazarkt]

I am a EUGENICS SPECIALIST, I’ll have you know, I read THREE WHOLE BOOKS about hybridism and gene pools because of those stupid crows.

Speaking of, you don’t even need to start with the crystalline bullshit since you were, by technicality, infected with The Great Devourer’s venom via ingestion (I presume that is why your scales are bleached, yes? That, or there is a VERY strong Master of Poison running amuck) which was also infected with the essence of The Overlord.

His essence is his blood, and therefore all who are tainted are part of him…

…but you do you, serpent. My cousin tried marrying me once, so I have no room to talk, and regardless, EAT THAT DAMNED RIPOFF GREEN NINJA

[evilau-lloydgarmadon]

Is the Overlord like a dad to you??? I saw you call him that on one of his posts!

Ah.. that. I have no time for sentimental feelings. I said that was a mocking phrase, nothing more. ... I guess I view him in that way. //OOC: you're fast! I commented that like a couple of minutes ago lol. @theoverllrd sorry for all the notifications, but I have to ask if you're comfortable playing the role of a father figure with my evil Lloyd blog?? If not, it's completely fine!

[theoverllrd]

...Is this how adoption works for mortals..?

[anacondraipythor]

Well, this is rather awkward...

[on-that-zazarkt]

Does that make you an uncle?

You should eat him

[anacondraipythor]

What? What do you mean an uncle? Bah, the people on this site are so confusing..

[on-that-zazarkt]

Well, it varies. Have you absorbed the essence of the crystal king?

If so, that would make you one of his spawn, and as such, a cousin to The Overlord and an adoptive relative to that evil green thing.

Of course, this is all speculation, but considering how familial bonds work, you would be some sort of relative to that green thing.

[anacondraipythor]

...that is my spouse.

[on-that-zazarkt]

…You married your dad?

Though keep in mind this doesn’t mean much, since it is common practice amongst certain tribes. You’d be surprised by how small the gene pool for wolves are (there used to be roughly 80 in my town and I was related to almost 2/3rds of them)

[evilau-lloydgarmadon]

Is the Overlord like a dad to you??? I saw you call him that on one of his posts!

Ah.. that. I have no time for sentimental feelings. I said that was a mocking phrase, nothing more. ... I guess I view him in that way. //OOC: you're fast! I commented that like a couple of minutes ago lol. @theoverllrd sorry for all the notifications, but I have to ask if you're comfortable playing the role of a father figure with my evil Lloyd blog?? If not, it's completely fine!

[theoverllrd]

...Is this how adoption works for mortals..?

[anacondraipythor]

Well, this is rather awkward...

[on-that-zazarkt]

Does that make you an uncle?

You should eat him

[anacondraipythor]

What? What do you mean an uncle? Bah, the people on this site are so confusing..

[on-that-zazarkt]

Well, it varies. Have you absorbed the essence of the crystal king?

If so, that would make you one of his spawn, and as such, a cousin to The Overlord and an adoptive relative to that evil green thing.

Of course, this is all speculation, but considering how familial bonds work, you would be some sort of relative to that green thing.

[evilau-lloydgarmadon]

Is the Overlord like a dad to you??? I saw you call him that on one of his posts!

Ah.. that. I have no time for sentimental feelings. I said that was a mocking phrase, nothing more. ... I guess I view him in that way. //OOC: you're fast! I commented that like a couple of minutes ago lol. @theoverllrd sorry for all the notifications, but I have to ask if you're comfortable playing the role of a father figure with my evil Lloyd blog?? If not, it's completely fine!

[theoverllrd]

...Is this how adoption works for mortals..?

[anacondraipythor]

Well, this is rather awkward...

[on-that-zazarkt]

Does that make you an uncle?

You should eat him

[on-that-zazarkt]

Nvm this fanfic shit is bogus

[futurewarlordandconqueror]

You out of ALL people.. YOUR the one making fanfics??

[on-that-zazarkt]

My Conquest is dictated NOT by power, but by influence. If I create a good enough fanfiction, I will eventually have enough influence to command an army and FUCKING kill you and that stupid metal thing that hangs around you

[on-that-zazarkt]

Just wanna ask

Are you taller than Nokt or Nokt was taller than you, or smth like that?

Sorry for interupting :(

Strangely I was not informed of this question, but if you must know, he and I are the same height (though I would argue I am taller by a few inches)

The order roughly goes Me, Nokt, The Bug, The Corpse, and Rox.

There was a joke saying that he “stole height from Rox” long ago, though ever since banishment to that hellhole, there wasn’t much to discuss aside from Conquest.

[on-that-zazarkt]

Nvm this fanfic shit is bogus

[cole-br00kstone]

"WHY IS THE SKY SPLIT IN HALF??!?!?!"

[on-that-zazarkt]

ITS CALLED SKY BREAKER FOR A REASON

[on-that-zazarkt]

I love zarkt at the past :)

Uhhh, thank you random person who has marginally better taste than most other humans, I shall conquer your people more gently in the future… maybe

[fang-kwon-do-master]

ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL CITIZENS OF NINJAGO

OUR HOME IS OPEN TO YOU!

Come to the underground and we will do everything we can to keep you sssafe! As sssoon as I'm back, I will be leading sssome of the other ssserpentine to help you escape! Make your way to any manholesss or subway tunnels!

[on-that-zazarkt]

I’m coming

[on-that-zazarkt]

THAYS CRAZY VRO

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a realm. A nether realm. A nether realm with Drix. I fucking hate Drix, to the point where all red wearing creatures must die brutally. ESPECIALLY a ninja with relations to that metal TWAT.

[kai-the-red-shogun]

Fucink sjht the trick explodes

[on-that-zazarkt]

BLEED OUT!!

[on-that-zazarkt]

It seems Rox’ old doll has been taken prisoner by this “Administration” because she’s just as dumb as the real thing, and I thought “Hmm, that Jordan owes Rox money, therefore, it owes ME money, THEREtherefore, the ADMINISTRATION OWES ME MONEY!” So I’m making an announcement that I will RAID that HELLHOLE and take EVERYTHING, KILL that red cosplayer and her pink racist girlfriend, and BLUDGEON DRIX

But in all seriousness;

Gonna go break into the administration, probably wreck the place, brb someone owes me $3,000

[on-that-zazarkt]

Update: I have no idea where this place is, but that’s probably because I got banned from most realms, and they kinda just don’t exist anymore

[on-that-zazarkt]

It seems Rox’ old doll has been taken prisoner by this “Administration” because she’s just as dumb as the real thing, and I thought “Hmm, that Jordan owes Rox money, therefore, it owes ME money, THEREtherefore, the ADMINISTRATION OWES ME MONEY!” So I’m making an announcement that I will RAID that HELLHOLE and take EVERYTHING, KILL that red cosplayer and her pink racist girlfriend, and BLUDGEON DRIX

But in all seriousness;

Gonna go break into the administration, probably wreck the place, brb someone owes me $3,000