OneBulbLiteAtAllTimes

Horror stories of me playing EDH/commander. Be salty stay salty.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

I BOG OUR GRAVEYARDS

My opponent has lord of extinction and clones it so now he has two.

And there were a lot of cards in the graveyard.

But I had a multiani that was just as bigger.

So I bojuka bog his graveyard and return it to my hand to play again as my additional land for turn to exile my graveyard.

Having more lands on board made my multani bigger.

I then use seismic assault and discard enough lands to burn both of his lord extinctions.

Attacked for game.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

I HAVE NO REPONSE

Yesterday in a four person game of commander, I attack with my 13/13 ashaya, 8/8 rampaging baloth with bear umbra, and my 16/16 multani.

My opponent casts cyclonic rift.

I said “ok…you know that does nothing…”

The looks of confusion across the table and then the sudden realization of my opponent’s face was worth it.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

YOU TURNED MY GITROG MONSTER INTO AN ELK

So in a casual three player game, I cast the gitrog monster with the intention of casting lord windgrace next turn and returning two fetchlands from my graveyard to my battlefield.

My friend turns the gitrog monster into an elk and ruins everything.

So next game I have strip mine in opening hand and restore.

I stripe mine the land that my friend fetched for and cast restore to strip mine his second land.

He was like why?!

I said “because you turned my gitrog monster into an elk and I never forget.”

I John wicked him out of mana.

Edit: “if I can’t have the gitrog monster, you can’t have lands.”

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

ONE WAY TICKET TO VALUE TOWN!

So yesterday I did a convoluted combo in my windgrace edh by accident.

I had orcish lumberjack and yavimaya cradle of growth so I could sacrifice any land.

I had tectonic reformation and the gitrog monster.

I sacrifice a land for orcish lumberjack to add three red mana.

I draw a card from gitrog monster.

I use tectonic reformation to pay a red and discard dakmor salvage.

Instead of drawing a card for gitrog monster, I dredge two to draw dakmor salvage again.

And draw an additional card for tectonic reformation.

I repeated this two more times.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

45 lands?

Played a few weeks ago with a couple of friends.

I end up doing turn one fetchland into stomping ground into orcish lumberjack.

The next turn I play nurturing peatland and tap the stomping ground for mana and sacrifice it to add three more mana to cast windgrace.

Two turns later I end up with eleven total mana available and my friend was like “how are you doing this?”

I replied with “I use 45 lands”.

He thought I was joking around but I actually use 45 lands in my lord windgrace deck.

And yes, that’s half my deck.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

Yavimaya, cradle of growth

Played against a friend using his jund korvold edh deck against my jund lord windgrace deck.

He had a good start but was missing so much green mana.

He said he just needed more green mana and said it would be great if I played my yavimaya, cradle of growth.

I showed it to him in my hand and proceeded to discard it with lord windgrace on my next turn.

“How does it feel to want????” I said.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

IT’S ONLY TURN THREE!

I started out with land mana crypt Azusa land land on turn one.

I ended up with 11 mana on turn three and cast moraug, fury of akoum and did two fetch lands.

Got five total combat phases and murdered my friend.

It was only turn three.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

Valakut = 18 damage

I had valakut, vesuva copying valakut, and thespian stage copying valakut.

I had prismatic omen.

I cast ancient green warden.

I see my friend at 32 life.

I show him my fetch land, and said 36 damage.

You dead.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

My edh/commander story

So I’ve played at several stores in the commander events in the past.

In the beginning, I just wanted to win, which everyone wants to do.

Then I made mono blue venser shaper savant commander.

That was a terrifying deck.

It had no win con.

As a matter of fact, the deck made it so no one would win.

It would be a long game of taking one step forward and two steps back for my opponents.

So I decided to change things up a bit.

I started to help one player in a group of four to win faster.

That was frowned upon for “king making”.

I was warned to stop king making.

So I did the opposite.

I stopped two people from being able to cast spells and play lands, while the fourth player was playing uninterrupted and eventually won.

That was frowned upon again because it was still considered king making.

I got warned again to stop.

So I then decided to stall the game out by returning everyone else’s lands to their hands and returning their spells back to their hand, all while I had no board presence to win.

I got warned to stop that too.

So I asked the tournament organizer “if I can’t help one person win, or stop two people from playing the game, or make your land drops impossible for everyone else, what can I do?”

There was no answer.

So then I decided to play the “John wick” style of commander.

It’s when you just want to play your game without others meddling in and being hated on.

This is what I became famous for and still am.

I John wicked so many games.

This one guy thought it would be funny to attack me for one damage.

I then returned all his permanents back to his hand and focused on him for the rest of the game.

That player for THE REST OF THE NIGHT was being John wicked because he did one combat damage.

To this day, I will John wick you out of the game if you do something to me.

That commander deck is long gone and so is my competitive edge.

Now it’s about lord windgrace and having nineteen 4/4 beast tokens on turn five from rampaging baloth.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

I SEE YOUR 9 ZOMBIES AND RAISE YOU 22 MORE

My friend makes 9 zombie 2/2 tokens with field of the dead and passes the turn with no blockers on my side of the field. I would’ve lost the next turn if I didn’t do anything. I crop rotation to get my vesuva to copy field of the dead and play my own field of the dead from my hand. I end up making 31 zombie tokens and cast cavalier of flame. Gave all my zombies +1/0 and haste and that was it.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

A table cannot stand with only two legs.

Not sure if I told this story or not, probably not.

There was a store in orange that did two headed edh tournaments.

This was when I had my hyper competitive mono blue venser edh.

My partner was using grand arbiter.

The game started out as usual, saying hi, cutting each other’s decks, etc.

Then it went south very fast.

My partner was trying to win, but I convinced him otherwise.

I told him to focus fire one head of the other team and they won’t be able to win.

My plan worked.

The opposing team was a guy girl couple.

The girl was playing better than the guy so I kept returning all her lands back to her hand and my opponent kept countering all her spells if she did cast any.

The guy said “you want to win like this?”

But then they started fighting with each other.

She was like “do something! It’s all you!”

He was like “I can’t, I’m trying to protect you!”

We ended up winning and I never played there again.

Btw this shop I played at treats it’s regulars special and outsiders not well and I wasn’t a regular.

I remember saying to my partner “a table with two legs cannot stand, everything at her.”

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

...AND NOW YOU’RE DEAD AND SO AM I

Yesterday day I murdered two people by using seismic assault to discard dakmor salvage with the gitrog monster on board.

There were three other players but I could only kill two.

I depleted my entire deck to dredge the Dakmor salvage and in the process, eliminated two players and decked myself.

The fourth player “won by default” because everyone else suddenly died.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

I DIED SO YOU CAN LIVE

So I was playing some casual edh/commander with three people.

One of my friends was already killed off.

My friend on my right had enough commander damage to kill one player in one turn.

My friend in front of me had a chance of winning next turn but was at 1 life, if he had a next turn.

So I made the sacrifice.

I had built up my board with more than 40 power of creatures and and at least 15 creatures in one turn.

I told my friend on my right “you have to kill me now because if you don’t I’m going to kill you.”

I took massive commander damage and died.

My friend in front of me ended up winning because he got another turn.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

So are these legal targets? I mean, they are GOD CARDS...

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

I like tigers

[melonmemes]

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

I remember using the tracking wheel on the vcr.

[onebulbliteatalltimes]

Card shop stories: possession is 9/10 of the law, so is this game.

In a 4 person game of commander with two sliver decks, the first sliver player attacks me with his commander for 16 commander damage.

Then the second sliver player steals and gain control of the other sliver commander that did 16 comamander damage to me.

My turn comes around and I have 41 power to attack with.

I was going to attack the guy that did 16 commander damage to me but he did not control his commander anymore.

So I attacked the other sliver player that gained control of the other sliver commander.

"But why are you attacking me? I didnt attack you? He did with his commander."

"But you are currently in possession of said commander that did 16 damage to me, you must die."