My theory? Unless youâre a totally selfish person, itâs normal to consider loved ones in important decisions, especially ones affecting them, like moves or career choices. The struggle arises because weâre [overly] concerned with what other people want for us. If you know what you want, decisions are straightforward and easy, unless youâre afraid of some risk and start to oscillate. Iâll be the first to admit â I do not like ambivalence in myself. I donât like the uncertainty of âshould I or shouldnât I?â If Iâm venturing into the unknown, itâs a careful assessment that comes down to: whatâs the worst that could happen? Is it any worse than where I am right now? Will I have peace regardless of the outcome? And finally: I choose to believe God will make it all right, wherever I end up.
Faith requires courage and stepping out on faith is like crossing a chasm. Once youâve crossed, thereâs no reason to go back. I once had a dream where I was standing on a cliff with a bunch of other people. The rocks all around us were blackened and smooth, like volcanic rock . A man, who I assumed was the leader, swung across a deep chasm and ended up on the opposite cliff. (I said it was a dream. The rope didnât have to be connected to anything. lol) He called to me to swing. I hesitated briefly, shrugged and swung across. He caught and steadied me. It wasnât nearly as scary as I thought it would be although I did peer over the side of the cliff and I couldnât see the bottom. One by one we assisted the other people across. Only one man remained but we left him to go back and join the people who lived in the valley. (I donât know where the valley was or who was were but they may have been elves. Donât quote me on that.) That was it.
I donât put much thought into dream interpretation but that one seemed simple⌠faith is like that. You hesitate as your brain tries to determine possible outcomes but if you have faith, you believe everything will work out and you swing. Itâs believing in what you donât see. When I believe in what Iâm doing but thereâs a niggling question in the back of my mind, I feel doubtful and weak. Iâm human. One of the most important spiritual lessons Iâve learned is that God is not like people. People disappoint you, abandon you and betray you. That is NOT the character of God. Heâs always there. Deuteronomy 31:6 Always. People are not perfect but HE is. He doesnât take vacations or lunch breaks. And most importantly? Although we may be wishy-washy, He is not. He is all in when it comes to His children. He is the author and finisher of my faith.
Making that Difficult Decision
In some scenarios, you make a decision and whoever you were concerned about is thrilled. Even if itâs not something theyâd choose for themselves, hopefully they accept it because they can see that it makes you happy. All good. But what happens when they react badly to something you want to try or do? (Like, I dunno, follow your dreamsâŚ) Itâs outright discouraging. If you really want their support, it can be difficult to do what you know in your heart. You worry about what they think or even fear theyâll leave you if you donât do something they approve of.
Why They Arenât Supportive
Iâd say it stems from fear. Theyâre afraid for you, afraid youâll fail (totally missing the fact that youâre willing to risk that). As Dr. Wayne Dyer put it: âThere are no failures, only unexpected results.â Or perhaps they think they will be responsible for you in some way⌠and donât want to bear any emotional (or financial) burden because of your [careless] decisions. Sometimes they forget that you are not them and they are not you, and that you are no more responsible for their happiness than they are for yours. Secretly, they may be watching you⌠envious that you are living your life without being sidelined by fear. Youâre willing to take a chance on living an unconventional life to fulfill your divine purpose. If you find that people you love donât support your dreams, I recommend you ask them this question: are you living your life the way you want? If they could do anything, would they be doing what they are doing? If they want to be doing something else, why arenât they doing it? You may get a long list of reasons but underneath all of that, I bet it has to do with their fears.
What if you had the courage to show up in your very own life and live your potential?
What I mean by âlive your potentialâ is we all have gifts to share and if a life decision takes you down a path where you are unable to share and develop those gifts, Iâd say you are not yet living your full potential. It doesnât mean you never will, it just may take a little longer. Life is precious and like Jilly says, you have to live it like itâs golden. Life is filled with choices, some no-brainers, others so difficult they stress us terribly. What Iâve learned is that decisions are only difficult when we make them that way. They can be complex but when you can feel which way to go, you should get quiet and listen for guidance through the Spirit. As a believer, I know the Holy Spirit is listening and guiding me, so if I just quiet my fears and be still, Iâll know what to do. Once you know, then you communicate it to anyone who is affected.
Painful Decisions was originally published on OneHipSista.com
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