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@onelastcurtaincall-blog
Emotional torment fucks with everything in your life.
Sure, I may be feeling happy right now, but that hasn't stopped the constant questions that have left me battered and broken all too often.
I just hope this feeling of slight relief only increases and gets better from here on.
Here's hoping shit doesn't turn sideways.
I just want to go home.
Not commit
Curl up
Sleep
Pain is always in some way relatable, but never fully able to be understood.
When you live in a society where depression is frowned upon by the general public.
Irony.
no makeup vs full face of makeup
looks like you took off a doll’s face and put it on your face like that one post with the elvis animatronic
That is exactly what I did!
Sooo umm idk but I saw these exact pics on Tinder tonight so if you don’t have a Tinder someone if def impersonating you.
Whaaaaaat? No, I don’t have Tinder!!!!!
“one time I dreamt I had a catfish but it actually wasn’t a dream”
I like without makeup more. Both are very appealing, but it's definitely one of those faces someone would be lucky to wake up to. You're going to make someone very happy, even if it's just yourself when you look in the mirror. (Take this compliment in consideration that a complete stranger, that would totally swipe right, wants to let you know that you're already making so many other people smile from the dreams they share with you in hopes that you'll share with the world.) -From one smile to another
When you need to be hugged.
But the one you want to hug you doesn't feel the same way about you.
This perception
Of what could've been
What might've been
What should've been
It's easier to just say "I'm okay" than show you the thoughts I know you'll reject.
Being overly excited and mentally stressed about the same thing is exhausting.
Like I can't wait for this event, but I really don't want to spend my whole time with the people I'll be there with.
Correction: one person I'll be there with.
Why do I continue to torture myself being in your presence?
Soon we'll be staying in the same tent for a weekend, sleeping next to each other.
And I'm going to hate it for what I can't treat it as.
My life is a fucking joke.
I'm sure everyone has this thought at least once.
Some of us unfortunate few tend to get it every other day or even more often.
Tired of feeling like shit all the time and just want to be happy for a while.
I had to get out
As much as I wanted to stay, it would have done more harm than good.
And I don't know if you know how much you mean to me and how this dumb feeling inside is killing me because I'm too afraid to express it, knowing the rejection I'll face.
This feeling is
Bullshit.
I just want to feel wanted and not compelled to be here because I have feelings for you and think you're toying with me.
Why would you say you "might change your mind" and keep semi-stringing me along?
Or am I just looking too far into this and am just too fucked in the head?
I need another drink.
I want to be here
But it's because I still have strong feelings for you.
And I know you don't feel the same.
If you do, you're hiding it very well and it hurts.
I want to be here, but I want to go home and crawl into bed and separate myself from you because that's what I do.
I wish I had someone to tell them that I love them.
This was different.
Before I dreamt of reuniting with her and just hugging and crying, then going to the way things were.
This time I dreamt of you in that same situation. Someone else who captured my heart. Someone who turned me away.
I can't tell if it's just fear. But I know I want to be there for you.
I'm just glad I get to keep talking to you, after what you told me you wanted.
I'm gonna sleep and hope I fall into another false reality I'd rather be in.
