Stuck Dreaming in Starlight

Io/Ionophose 💫 19 💫 They/Void/Star 💫 Ambiguously inhuman :/

[onesheadintheclouds]

Does Avery read as having autism or ADHD to anyone else?

To me at least, there's very subtle mental health messaging in DAWTDE specifically.

Anyway, with Avery, the way he brings up "I'm not smart enough" and the way he easily gives up really feels like a learned behaviour to me. Who do most people, on average, deem stupid? Not just people who are genuinely ignorant, but also neurodivergent people (specifically in this case, people with ADHD/Autism). Seems like he's experienced a lot of being called dumb/stupid, and being forced to give up a lot.

Also the fact that he was all alone on New Years Eve, the very specific way he gets frustrated, seems very literal, and is constantly doubting himself reads very much as, most likely unintentional, autism-coding to me.

There's also definitely something to be said about Derek too. Not just about neurodivergence but of self-harm and suicidality as well. Like he forces himself to believe his suffering is righteous and all, that there's a reason for all this. Definitely a burnout ADHDer/autistic going through a very extreme low.

I don't really know, I'm just yapping about things that I have noticed. Another half-baked post lmao.

[onesheadintheclouds]

Taking a small break from crying about doomed Minecraft yaoi to be happy about married Necron yaoi

[onesheadintheclouds]

Evil/King Avery my beloved

[onesheadintheclouds]

I've been seeing some posts with parallels between SFAWTDE/DAWTDE and Madoka Magica, and I actually really like the idea of a Madoka/Homura-esque relationship between Avery and Derek.

Except after some thought, I actually think Avery would become the Homura here, and Derek would be Madoka.

Because Avery was going to sacrifice not just himself but THE WORLD if it meant that he would die alongside Derek. Homura sacrifices herself and the entire world for Madoka ultimately in the end and literally becomes a devil, similar to how Avery was meant to be the King's vessel.

And to me, it wouldn't be too hard to think that maybe, since the D.M.S exists in Avery and Derek's universe, and the King clearly exists/existed, then maybe Avery reaches out to some supernatural means to redo his meeting with Derek and try to save him, like Homura with Madoka.

Derek is Madoka because in the end he cared about not just saving the world, but specifically saving Avery. Similar to Madoka, he is clearly selfless and caring, only hoping the best for Avery, even if that means the world exists without himself. Madoka sacrifices herself and literally erased herself from existence to save the world, just like Derek did.

Anyone else is also welcome to chime in and tell me what you think! Obviously these characters are not complete 1 to 1s, but the parallels are definitely there! Also this post is def half-baked.

[onesheadintheclouds]

I think that Avery would be a BEAST at Terraria. That's the whole post, type dih

[onesheadintheclouds]

You're my matador 💛

[onesheadintheclouds]

Yeah the King knows everything but do I think he genuinely anticipated the two humans he was planning on manipulating and tormenting being absolute hopeless romantic starcrossed lovers loser freakazoids? Probably not.

One literally was presented with the prospect of being used as a mindless vessel yet didn't run when his friend (who he barely knew btw) told him to, deciding to cling to him instead and stay by his side.

And then the other one was infected with terrible, horrifying divine knowledge but still insisted on saving this one person and desperately clung to love and compassion instead of falling into insanity.

Either the King planned this and he's a total drama queen in it for the love of the game and spectacle, OR he didn't plan for it and he's homophobic and got destroyed by the power of queer love.

[onesheadintheclouds]

AU where Avery and the King end up becoming one because Derek couldn't save him. Except the new King x Avery fusion is extremely obsessive over Derek. Because the new Avery knows everything now, specifically how much Derek went through to try and prevent this. So Slimeknight get to be together except Avery is an extremely fucked up eldritch demigod. Type dih

(This post was inspired by Bernadette by IAMX)

[onesheadintheclouds]

To any Slimeknight shipper who sees this and is currently devastated, if you need something happier (or bittersweet) to listen to, please give Harvey by Her's a listen!

[onesheadintheclouds]

Somewhere, in another life, they are together

[onesheadintheclouds]

I know I'm not just imagining it this time around, I am definitely still distraught, but Slimeknight feels so At the Beach, In Every Life by Gigi Perez coded.

Just by this one verse,

-"There I saw you standing, must have been a holy light,

Cause I can't see and I can't feel, but the color in your eyes,

Is saying if my dreams come up empty, and I wash up on the shore,

You would find me at the beach, in every life, through every door."-

Derek was Avery's "holy light". When Avery was stuck in a trance for 12 hours, when he "couldn't see and couldn't feel", it was the words of Derek that made Avery remember himself, the "color of his eyes".

Avery definitely had his "dreams come up empty" and he "washed up on the shore" when he found out he had been tricked by Derek and eventually found his way back to him just in time. But he couldn't save Derek no matter how much he wished to say.

So, Derek makes the promise of finding Avery "at the beach, in every life, through every door" by telling him, simply, "until next time, friend." They will see each other again, just not in this life.

And this is just part of the song by the way, if I had all the complete ideas to do the full song I definitely would.

[onesheadintheclouds]

Slimeknight might actually be a bit A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain coded guys but I might just be too miserable and distraught right now so I'm finding connections in anything. Type dih

[onesheadintheclouds]

I actually really wanna just appreciate On the Outside by Alicia Goodwyn, the song that plays at the very end of DAWTDE while Derek reads his goodbye letter and we get the ending montage.

A song about love and the grief that you feel when that love is severed. I'm definitely sure, that in whatever way you wanna interpret it, Avery and Derek did love each other.

I've heard that grief is just leftover love with nowhere to go, and I think that's very true for the relationship between Avery and Derek. Especially for Avery now that Derek is gone.

But On the Outside is also about moving on, no matter how painful it is. Avery will carry Derek's memory, spirit, and love with him forever. But Avery is capable of great things, and I believe one of those great things will be his ability to move on, even if just eventually. Sure, the grieving process never truly ends, and it won't for Avery either, but I think all the past encouragement from Derek will get Avery to someday come to accept this lost love and mourning, and come to terms with it.

I say this as someone who's been forced to grieve many important people in my life. There are bad days and good days.

I also want to encourage anyone else who is grieving someone for whatever reason. You may be on the outside of love, looking in, but you must move on. Grieve and mourn, but don't let despair consume you.

Whatever you do at the crossroads, keep going forward.

[onesheadintheclouds]

Do you guys think that Avery ever opens up Minecraft again after this?

Do you think he keeps Derek/Derlord3's laptop in a closet or attic? Under his bed?

Like he can't even think of ever using that laptop again of his own accord, let alone to play Minecraft once more. It'll remind him too much of Derek.

Maybe he tries, once, to maybe play a simple survival world to pass the time one day, but the moment he steps forward to start punching down a tree... he sees Derek's avatar in the distance and genuinely can't take it so he shuts down the whole thing.

[onesheadintheclouds]

Okay but imagine Avery after everything that's happened. Derek is dead, Avery is sitting at his computer completely motionless. How long does he simply sit there until he gets up to do something?

Who can he even tell? What can he do? How can he move on? Someone that he didn't know for a long time, but he was immensely close to anyway, just sacrificed himself to save the world from an eldritch deity.

New Years passes and things go back to normal for everyone else, but not Avery.

Maybe he's plagued by nightmares, by feelings of hopelessness and sorrow, for who knows how long. Avery will be left to grieve Derek for the rest of his life, and no one to lean on. Imagine the loneliness.

Every now and again something will remind him of Derek, and Avery might break down in tears, leaving those around him to wonder why he's suddenly so despairing. Avery will be left with the memory of D3rlord3/Derek until his dying day.

Really, my mans is just fucked with a different type of forbidden knowledge.

[onesheadintheclouds]

Tried to get this done in record time but I kept messing up because I kept tearing up over this man.... will be thinking of him...

[onesheadintheclouds]

Absolutely distraught at 2am over the dawtde ending just AAAHH I CANNOT!!

Like I genuinely was tearing up over this Minecraft arg like damn. It really be like that.

I adore the friendship (maybe more than friendship 👀) between Avery and D3rlord3 and the tight bond they had in such a short time makes their inevitable, permanent separation at the end all the more devastating. Avery not wanting to leave, D3rlord3 insisting that he has to,,, just oh my god. Not to mention D3rlord3's final goodbye letter at the very end as well. Absolute cinema.