Ken u not?

Asexual Asshole, Bisexual Bitch, and the Heterosexual Houseguest- Pro Ace/Aro, Pro Trans/NB

[abbf26]

the inherent horor of being trans is knowing you are the single touchstone a cis person will probably ever have

im reminded of when i went to sit my philosophy exam and had an ex-officer as an invidulator. he asked me if i was trans, something i had no obligation to answer. but if i didnt, i would be cagey. i would now paint an image of all trans people being rude in his mind, so i said yes

that invidulator asked me why, as a trans student, i should have my rights respected if there are so few of us

and instead of rightfully getting pissed off, i had to remember that i am currently representing a community of millions to a single man in a room with just the two of us in it. i could be the deciding factor on how he conducts behaviour with trans people in the future. what if he gets called to invidulate again in 20 years time and has another trans student? what if he remembers the one he met before, and instantly assumes he knows our community?

so i explained to him why i should have rights. and i used my words carefully, because if i slip up even once i have now put a trans person in danger, because he has made a choice based on me

trans people dont get to be angry. cis people always joke about how we demand a space, or we demand the right name, or we demand they bow down to us

think very carefully, did that trans woman demand that you use the right name, or did she correct you? did that trans man hold you at gunpoint, demanding you let him piss in public, or did he look like he wanted to use the disabled toilet to avoid bothering you all together. did the nonbinary trans person have you on your knees begging for forgiveness, or did they ask nicely for you to be mindful of their pronouns?

the transphobic narrative is one of victimhood, meanwhile if i even use the wrong tone cis people will act as a child does, and they will demand that the next trans person they meet apologise

every trans person you meet is aware of this too. we're all very tuned into the fact that we are ambassadors, and that we never asked to be that. i dont want to have to very carefully consider 'will a curt answer mean someome later dies', but every day of my life i do

and cis people need to know that. to be trans is to literally walk on constant eggshells of cis fragility. its why when we see a new trans celebrity we have to desperately hope they dont do stupid fucking shit like caitlyn jenner did. because now everyone thinks trans women are like her. because now negotiations for our right to exist unmolested have gone back another 20 years

and tbh, cis people are pathetically weak. a trans person asked you to use the right name? that did not happen in a vacuum. that trans person has met 50-60 cis people today who refused

and guess what? we get tired too

[beaconpress-blog]

[kissnecks]

THIS OKAY

[ten-and-donna]

You want to get kids out of foster care and into good, loving homes? I’ve got a simple solution to your problem.

[reginaeinferos]

Did you know LGBT couples are more likely to adopt older, children of color and disable children than straight couples? LGBT couples tend to adopt ‘undesired’ children more (basically kids no one else wants.)

[just-a-penis--with-a-dream]

This is so important because I remember being in the system and being so scared that I would never be adopted or loved or whatever and seriously just fucking let them, take the fear out of finding a family

[followerspleasecheckinbox]

Exactly. I reblog this every time I see it. EVERY time.

[annadesu]

Can we also normalize adoption more? I know not everyone can afford it/do it, but if you can, please don’t be afraid to make this your first option, not the “back-up“.

[zemathememequeen]

[thedailyfood]

Check out our food blog - https://ift.tt/2rHbaMM [I Ate] This glorious buffalo chicken sandwich. via /r/food https://ift.tt/31K30W6

[sickboywolfgang]

[whatab0utsec0ndbreakfast-deacti]

The Evil Dead (1981) Sam Raimi

[1-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

i would survive a horror movie

the murderer shows up to my house and im just like sir your vibes are disgusting

[punkbone]

[yummyinmytumbly]

Crab Cake Club Sandwich

[harrykissedlorde-deactivated202]

the tag……….my god….

[serregon]

It’s pure gold

[cosmicallyavg]

the straights are at it again

[love-geofffree-deactivated20190]

Reblog if you are a greedy gay hoarding refracted light all for your greedy gay self

[october-rosehip]

I totally am, but also: I have a story. The time: 1995. The place: a small liberal arts college. We decided to participate in “denim day” which was a widespread event wherein on National Coming Out Day, you would wear denim to indicate SUPPORT FOR the LGBT community. Our support group made posters that were very, very clear about this. Wearing denim did not mean that you were coming out, it meant you supported anyone around you who might.

I have never seen so many suits and khakis IN MY LIFE. People who accidentally wore jeans went home and changed.

The community took it as a rebuke. We drew in closer to eachother, and felt unwelcome everywhere we thought we had friends before.

And I had people later tell me “You know I support you, just… I didn’t want anyone to think I was.” First off, I DON’T know you support me. Not if you refuse to, for one day, change nothing about your life to show it. Second off… why is that such a terrifying thought to you?

I remember before rainbows were a “gay thing”. They were everywhere. Church walls next to arks. School walls next to sunshine faces. People have VOLUNTARILY abandoned every other use. I have HEARD PEOPLE SAY they just couldn’t use rainbows anymore because people would think of “gay stuff.”

So I know this is a joke, and a stolen one at that, but you’ve done this to yourselves. If someone is so terrified of being perceived as queer that they will INSTANTLY abandon something they like if it has queer germs on it now or something, then they don’t deserve refracted light.

Maybe help us change the world into a place where being mistaken for queer would be just a thing to chuckle about and you can have refracted light back.

[aintnosintobefinallyclean-deact]

The LGBTQ+ community didn’t steal the rainbow. The straights abandoned it.

[trans-guy-positive-blog]

Okay so, I have this possibly helpful tip/product for trans guys. I know it might seem like a small thing but often with trans dudes the smallest things can make a huge difference.

So, basically I found these underwear (made by Hanes) that are technically women’s underwear but they just look like boxers. (heres a picture)

Now, the reason I’m highly recommending these is because they’re made to fit a female body. The inside even has a place you can put a pad so you don’t have to wear those girly panties for a week each month (if that applies to you, it’s a definite plus). Not to mention they’re affordable (i found a two-pack on sale for 5$) and, since they’re technically women’s underwear, it might be easier to slide by the lesser-supportive parents and the like.

Again, this seems like a really small and dumb thing, but dysphoria’s a bitch and I know y'all just want somethin’ comfy between you and those jeans.

[the-maniacal-libra]

For any of my transmale or non-binary followers who aren’t out yet!

[gayamericanoutlaw]

Absolutely yes to this, if you have a hard time fitting into men’s boxers/can’t afford them/can’t purchase them bc of your family situation/etc, I HIGHLY suggest seeking out Hanes women’s boyshorts. They really do feel exactly the same, it’s great.

[deactivationsblog]

@princeanxious

[princeanxious]

!!!!!

[trenderbakugou]

Y'all do realize the more you call trans kids “transtrenders” and that they’re “faking it” the more parents aren’t gonna support even Actually Real Dysphoric Trans People, right?

[andro-purpur]

i actually experienced this last summer.

my mom is friends with this trans woman, who was really sweet and she was super cool, but then i tried to come out after my mom expressed how much she liked her trans friend and how amazing she is. i told my mom about my crippling chest dysphoria and how much i’d love to be called by he/him pronouns and my preferred name. i told her about how i’ve always felt this way and i’ve known since eighth grade.

well the thing is, her friend is a transmed.

my mom is an uninformed person on trans issues, because she didn’t really care about them until recently. she took resources from her transmed friend and it ruined my life. she went off about how i’m not really trans because i didn’t come out sooner, i have piercings, my hair is always a crazy color, i still like girly things, and my glasses are weird. she kept yelling about how i didn’t have dysphoria before, so i obviously have the wrong definition. she told me if i was trans it would’ve been diagnosed by my therapist already, and it was just a cult bandwagon phase. i was locked away from the outside world for a month.

when my next year of high school rolled around, i was out as trans. my partner provided me with a binder and all was well. i came out to all my peers at the beginning and about halfway through the school year to my teachers. it was quiet, under the table. i told them my mom didn’t know and under our school guidelines, they were not allowed to tell my mom that sort of thing. well, one of my teachers ended up being lgbtphobic and i didn’t know, and announced to the class that she didn’t “agree with the lifestyle” and that “gay marriage isn’t what god wanted.” my mom got an email that day about me being out as trans at school. i wonder who could’ve sent it?

my mom blew up. she was sending me treat after threat because i was a trender, all i did was lie for attention, that i chose to be trans because it was trendy and that real trans people wouldn’t flaunt their transness. of course, she got these resources from her transmed friend. she pulled me out of public school and cut my contact with the outside world for three whole months. i didn’t get back into school until february.

DO NOT TELL ME THAT PEOPLE WITH DIFFERING OPINIONS ISNT TRANSPHOBIC AND HARMFUL BECAUSE EVEN AS A DYSPHORIC TRANS PERSON, TRANSMEDICALISM HAS RUINED MY HOME, MY FAMILY, AND MY LIFE. I WILL NOT STAND FOR TRANSMEDS OR PEOPLE WHO ALLOW THEIR INTERACTION. THEY ARE EXTREMELY HARMFUL AND NEED TO BE STOPPED BEFORE MORE LIVES ARE RUINED.

[findingfeather]

I mean: we did this with bi kids and particularly bi girls, right. With people my age.

We got super gatekeepy and “you must be THIS GAY to ride this identity” and we complained at length about it being “trendy” and how girls only did it to be “cool” and to get attention.

And so among other things I know one person I love is, for example, only JUST getting to have her FIRST relationship ever with a woman at slightly older than me because this shit got into her head and she didn’t think she was “allowed”.

So watching people turn the same bullshit on even more vulnerable kids?

This is a problem. This is lateral violence. And it needs to fucking stop.

[eroticarchaeology]

Let me be clear, even if Transtrending was a thing (I do not think that it is), I would still much rather hear a 15 year old tell me that they thought they were trans and then realized they weren’t after a few months of playing with the idea, than hear about a 30 year old who finally transitioned after having a mental breakdown because they spent their life thinking they weren’t trans enough and therefore weren’t allowed to transition.

Fighting the Transtrender Boogeyman isn’t protecting the integrity of trans rights, it just makes the struggle of atypical trans people harder.

[sadmac356]

^

[matronofthevoid]

THIS SHIT NEEDS TO STOP

[theinfiknight]

Can cis people reblog?

[timetravelonion]

Cis people can and should reblog

[spiroandthelacktones]

cis people think that the final step of transition is getting surgery when in reality the final step is becoming goth

[sevenmoths-deactivated20250325]

not to cause a controversy but I’m p sure that’s the first step

[post-collapse]

you become goth, then you realize youre trans, you struggle with identity for a while, you start transitioning and attempt to find a new style, and then you go back to being goth

[starlightandtears]

Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.

[vodcar]

Flossie Wong-Staal - Wikipedia

Flossie Wong-Staal - Wikipedia

https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flossie_Wong-Staal

[pouchrat-deactivated20190708]

[image: Flossie Wong-Staal smiling in profile at the camera]

[birdofprey1234]

We are not enemies.

[aro-bot]

idk can we stop…treating a.ce disc.ourse like it’s some haha funney cringe compilation or whatever the fuck because it fucking destroyed the entire ace and aro communities. there is no solid aspec community on tumblr anymore (which was by far the biggest number of aspec ppl). exclusionists took our community and fucking smashed it to pieces and y'all treat it as this fucking stupid joke when they traumatized, gaslit, and abused an entire group of queer people back into the closet. fuck every single person who doesn’t take that seriously.

[showmesomeoneinnocent]

My personal experience is just that, but it’s really indicative that I have watched almost every single ace and aro person I know, irl and online, actively recloset themselves as a direct result of the consequences of The Disc Horse™

I watched irl queer groups disintegrate bc a few ppl who got into leadership positions used that to make the space hostile towards ace ppl (among others as well), saw friends go from being loud and proud aces n aros to actively avoiding any mention of it and letting ppl assume their sexuality. I myself, having been IDing as ace for 10 years at least, have in the past couple since this whole “"discourse”“ came into being, actively and intentionally stopped telling anyone at all that I’m ace. To put that in some kind of perspective, I am incredibly out as trans and will actively out myself pretty constantly except to total strangers I will never see again. I feel safer telling ppl I’m trans than ace. Especially in queer spaces. It’s fucked me up so much I didn’t even quite grasp how much but today my therapist asked me for the first time about like romantic relationships and I physically could not say I am aro and ace. Completely incapable, utterly frozen, and I just kinda let her believe what she will. Ironically the fact that I’ve gone from being willing and ready to tell ppl I’m ace as just another facet of myself to entirely unable and unsolicited to tell anyone, is probably a thing one might want to talk w one’s therapist about.

This has really fucked not just the community at large but fucked up individual ace ppl in so many ways. It’s not something “funny” or remotely harmless, it’s absolutely devastated us.

[swampgallows]

for people in the notes looking for “elder” aces, i just wanna say that i’m 28 years old and am also desperately searching for that representation. i first found out about asexuality through tumblr when i was 21 and started identifying as asexual when i was 21-22 (around 2012). i’ve sought other online ace communities but nothing compared to tumblr. i mean, props to aven for existing as a repository of resources but in terms of just chatting with other aces “in the wild” as it were, tumblr was the perfect place.

but then this fucking shit happened. around 2015 is when it really kicked into high gear. “discoursers” or exclusionists or aphobes or however you want to refer to them consider asexuality to be a joke and that everyone who identifies as ace is a cringey cishet college-aged white girl who loves dr who. recycled biphobia, homophobia, and even terf rhetoric made its way into the mainstream tumblr conscious by reframing the arguments to target ace people (you’re only X because you’re ugly/can’t get laid; you aren’t part of the community if your partner is of a different gender; maybe something happened to you to make you this way; have you had your hormones checked?; by accepting this identity you are allowing the oppressor to infiltrate our spaces; etc.). you know, in case you think this is just about “snick snack” memes.

this has alienated ace people of color, who already struggle with desexualization/hypersexualization, disabled aces, ace survivors, trans aces, mentally ill aces, neurodiverse/AUTISTIC ACES (you guys get REAL fuckin nervous when i highlight that the majority of your jeering about aces’ perceived awkwardness, missed social cues, infantilization/dehumanization, or “unfuckability”/“cringey-ness” are repackaged ableism, especially considering that a good percentage of the ace community is also autistic), and both young AND older aces. 

younger people are being discouraged from exploring the possibility of being asexual by exclusionists for reasons that vary from internalized homophobia to asexuality being a side effect of SSRIs. they are being told that they are “actually” something other than what they say they are, or that they are broken, or that they’re too young to know, or that our ace identity is simultaneously something that must be excruciatingly examined to determine its “cause” yet so irrelevant that it’s unworthy of discussion or representation—”nobody cares that you don’t want to have sex”. i WISH i had known about asexuality as a teenager, as a kid. I wish i had saved myself from so much grief, abuse, pain, and corrective rape by not subjecting myself to experiences that i hoped would “fix” me. 

and older people like me, who in the grand scheme of things is uhhh really not that much older than the majority of tumblr, are ridiculed for having a presence on tumblr in general, let alone as an asexual person. aces over 30? 40? 50? unicorns. conjured rhetoric. people straight-up don’t believe they exist. people ten years my junior attempt to deny and erase the lived history of aces by saying asexuality was “invented” only ten years ago. i have been terrified of attempting to enter Q* spaces irl because i have heard from even my IRL gay friends that aces do not belong, that “it’s not important enough to form an identity around”, that we are not oppressed enough or we just desperately want to be oppressed. 

i have only heard in passing of people much older than i am who are ace. i have absolutely zero examples to turn to of people like me continuing to live a long life or any evidence that i am worth loving unless i become a parent, which i don’t want to do. when you’re a teenager there’s more discussion about sexual boundaries, but what about dating in my 30s? what adult is going to be satisfied knowing i can never validate their sexual attraction, unless they were ace like me (less than 1% of the population)? am i forced to be alone forever? you can imagine how bleak my future feels. 

it pisses me off that i’m seen as a curmudgeon who “just doesn’t get the young people’s humor” when i have to beg people that i consider friends, for the eight billionth time, to stop making/reblogging jokes about how “cringey” aces are or are tongue-in-cheek declaring themselves to be aphobes, and then those people try to assuage me with respectability politics about how it’s about “THOSE” aces on tumblr and not, yknow, me, who is “one of the good ones”. and since the jokes themselves are so juvenile, it further compounds on the poor social graces and stoicism assumed of asexual people if I’m getting upset over ace war criminal moodboards or whatever the fuck. EVERY time i post about asexual ANYTHING on tumblr, to this day, i lose followers. without fail. people dont bat a lash when i spam 20 untagged posts in a row about a fandom they dont care about but i post two positive words about asexuality and theyre gone.

the environment promoted on tumblr condemns asexuality as a social deficit, as an attack on other Q* identities, as a subject of derision and embarrassment, as an identity lacking in “woke” capital, and makes every effort to expunge us from communities we have already belonged to in favor of making our own while also actively seeking out and dismantling those communities. if tumblr really is in its last days, i sincerely hope that these awful practices will die with it. 

[starberry-kat]

this picture was taken in 1973, asexuality has been part of the lgbt+ community longer than you’ve been alive.

[loverofsomanythings]

The first mentions of asexuality as an orientation are from a leaflet published in 1896 and the X on the Kinsey Scale for non-sexual was added in 1948. It was not invented by white teenage old girls on Tumblr.

ASEXUALITY WAS NOT INVENTED BY TEENAGE GIRLS ON TUMBLR.

For more information on sexual history read this http://wiki.asexuality.org/Asexual_history

Before aromanticism was used as a term there was non-limerant. Limerance described romantic attraction and so a non-linemerant person didn’t experience romantic attraction. It has a lot of similarities to aromanticism and it’s first documented appearance was in a book called ‘love and limerance’ published in 1979.

Aromanticism was also not invented by white girls on tumblr.

AROMANTICISM WAS NOT INVENTED BY WHITE GIRLS ON TUMBLR.

Tumblr might be the first place you saw these terms and where they are most used but the orientations were not invented here maybe the words were first used by a lot of people on here but the orientations not.

[infiniteglitterfall]

(Image transcription: The sign behind them reads: “YEA - IT’S A HEAVY TRIP. BUT! This is a chance to CHOOSE YOUR OWN LABEL instead of having someone else do it for you: straight, asexual, lesbian, bisexual, anti-label, dyke separatist, ?, lesbian feminist, [something partially obscured but i think it might say anti-sexual], or whatever”)

[lovinnelily]

When I saw the picture I just started crying and what came after it… I cant, is like someone put a hand on my shoulder and said “is okay to exist” and I’m sobbing right now.

I did know I needed this. But I never thought it would get me to tears. I never knew I needed it for me, to show to myself, to tell me it’s fine to be me.

I can’t stop crying, fuck.

[infiniteglitterfall]

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

This is why representation is important. This is why visibility is important.

Sometimes I see exclusionists shooting their mouths off about how the way you can tell aces aren’t oppressed is that our main need is for representation, that our positivity posts are about being valid.

And I’m just like… you have maybe temporarily forgotten what it is like to not see yourself reflected anywhere?? You maybe have been lucky enough to find people like you in history and in media before you came out?? Perhaps you are blissfully unaware that if you don’t have that kind of representation, the only messages you get are that you are a shitty gross broken person that doesn’t have any worth????? Possibly you do not know the effect of hearing that from both the straight and the “LGBT” communities at once??

I don’t know if anybody has studied this (I’m gonna find out!) but I would bet a lot of money that that stuff has a huge impact on health, and that it’s a big part of the reason that m-spec and a-spec people (including aros) have such incredibly high rates of things like suicidality.

We’re valid. We have worth. We are incredible people, part of incredible communities and cultures and histories. We deserve to exist, and the world is much better off with us.

[vaspider]

There were older aces on here. I watched 2 ace folx in their late 30s, one in her early 50s and one in her late 40s get chased off of here by constant harassment. I’m in contact with all 3 on other platforms and have been friends with all of them for 5+ years, so.

One of them specifically came to Tumblr to be a resource for younger aces (the one in her late 40s) and left in horrified disgust over the level of direct, awful harassment she received.

So, yeaaaaaaah, they’re out there, and Tumblr dis.course succeeded in making Tumblr so vile to them that they left.

[clearly-fading-wonderland]

I need a wheelchair and I'm poor. Please help me get a chair so I'm not trapped at home.

I really need some help with getting a wheelchair. I was trapped in my house for almost 3 weeks because of mobility issues, my crutches aren't always enough. Because of serious side-effects, I can't keep using the steroid treatments that have kept me mobile.

I need a decent chair that won't cause further joint problems or stress fractures with my brittle bones. If I reach my goal of $1100 I can get a decent chair. If I go over the cost of the chair I'll donate the rest to Intersex Human Rights Australia (https://ihra.org.au/). If I somehow go way way over, I might be able to afford a momentum assisted chair.

Anything helps, and I appreciate it immensely.

I really really need this. Feeling trapped is awful, and with a chair it's at least possible for people to help me get out, even when my shoulders are fucked.

Hopefully the chair I want is still on sale when I can afford it.

Please share or donate. I need this so badly.

https://chuffed.org/project/emily-needs-a-wheelchair

(OMG TUMBLR!!!! PLEASE JUST LET ME POST THE LINK!!! "TUMBLR WENT BUNGLY WUNGLY" 😡)

I need a wheelchair again after 5 years. My ability to be mobile fluctuates significantly, I was recently stuck inside for two and a half we