► POE DAMERON ( I D / @riskappetite )
in the events leading him from jakku, to his imprisonment on the first order star destroyer, back to the harsh sands of jakku, poe had managed to keep it together LONG ENOUGH to find a way back to the resistance base. back home. once there was when everything began to collapse down around him. his will to live, his resilience, his gusto. poe dameron is in the throes of a mental breakdown, and one of the only tethers to reality that he currently has a grip on is leia’s hand — she’s keeping him here ON THIS EARTH ( just as she has been for the past twenty - five years of his life ). he’s grateful for it.
but part of him worries this will be THE LAST TIME he holds her hand. that she will disgrace him, exile him, once she knows of his betrayal — it’s his duty to debrief her, he knows. POE ISN’T GOING TO LIE, but telling the truth will ruin him, too. chest heaves, heavy breaths not fully making their way into his lungs.
❝ he killed lor san tekka … i tried to kill him. IN RAGE. i missed - no, i - i didn’t miss. he stopped my blaster fire. i was captured, general — they questioned me. for hours. i didn’t say anything … i didn’t say anything, i swear! but then — ❞ another TIDAL WAVE of tears spills out over his dark lashes, busted hands tightening around leia’s. tension wracks his tired muscles. it seems THE MEMORY causes him physical pain. mouth opens but no sound leaves him. poe is trying to speak, to wrap his mind around it and form the experience into words, but he’s AT A LOSS. it’s as if his very soul was torn from him. the most excruciating pain he’s ever endured — and he thought for sure it would KILL HIM. ❝ — kylo ren — reached. into my head … he TOOK it from me. ❞ he HURT me! ❝ i couldn’t stop him. i couldn’t even resist … i’m sorry. i told him beebee - ate had the map … i couldn’t stop — i couldn’t - i tried … ❞
the words left her lips softly , simply . a statement that said little other than what it needed too : SHE HAD HEARD HIM . none of the news is WELCOME , especially the death of Lor San Tekka . the information crowds her head like CODE , as she tries to plot a course from it . it was perhaps time to involve OUTSIDE ALLIES ; but none of that was important . her thoughts are unclear , they can’t find a steady course while he TREMBLES in front of her . THE MOST IMPORTANT RESOURCES OF THE REBELLION has always been , will always be , her people / and he , to her , is far more than an HEIR . Leia let’s go of his hands . but a moment later , she lifts her own hands to his face , wipes away BLOOD AND TEARS .
❛❛ ARE YOU GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT ? ❜❜
she remembers once , training with Luke not too many months after Endor . she had no wish to BECOME A JEDI : her wishes were for other things , to see the Galaxy , to lie against Han’s chest and watch A THOUSAND DIFFERENT SUNS SET OVER A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WORLDS . but she had still been intrigued by THE FORCE , if not as a power in itself but as an entity . in her memory , she had reached into his mind and he had sent her REELING : neither of them on purpose . but the feeling , she imagined , was a thousand times worse than any MIND PROBE that had once been used upon her .
❛❛ LOOK AT ME POE ------ ❜❜ her eyes , tired but ever - full of LIGHT , seek out his . ❛❛ this was NOT YOUR FAULT . Ben... has a hold over THE FORCE i’ve not seen in any but my brother . what he did is a VIOLATION : you betrayed no - body , do you hear me ? ❜❜
