Dating Horror Story: Online

Screenshots of the bizarre messages I receive on Tinder, OkCupid, and match.com. Slowly but surely, the internet is destroying my will to date.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

And suddenly, a total dreamboat appeared! I’ve been swooning since day one and for some crazy reason, Ian seems to think I’m a catch also.

Fingers crossed, y’all! ;)

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

The virgin learned to take it down a notch. Good job, kid.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

I’m not sure what any of this has to do with anything, but congrats. I think.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Ok, seriously. Am I a red head?!

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Really?

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

I would probably be more flattered if I were actually a red head.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Oh hey, yeah I remember you - my high school boyfriend that cheated with my best friend. Please go away.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Sigh.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

I’m assuming Esther is the new alternative spelling of Easter...

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

What? Use your words!

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

No thank you.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

It “don’t hurt”?

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Ugh.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

What?

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Your chances would be higher if you did not immediately reveal your incompetence.

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

What’s with the commas?

[onlinedatinghorrorstory]

Change your screen name and age, but keep the creepy message exactly the same - us silly women will never notice.