yours.

[only-one-in-color]

I'm not in love, it's just a game we do I tell myself I'm not that into you

Jax Jones / Breathe

[teenagecrush]

[only-one-in-color]

2018/04/25

What is it that makes you so special to me? So hard to get over?

It's perfectly fine for weeks or even months, but then some little thing happens and I feel like I'm being burnt alive by jealousy. I don't have the right to say that, I know. But you with her makes me sick. Everything I learn about her, your feelings towards her, your shared activities.

It's been so long now but I have to admit that I obviously lied to myself when I told everyone I didn't have feelings for you anymore.

I always did. You're my soft spot.

[mieschief-managed]

change the genders and this is 1000% me never read anything more relatable

[only-one-in-color]

2018/04/21

More than three years ago, you broke up with me. One and a half year ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. Several weeks ago, I started to realize.

I made my decision based on all the wrong reasons. Everything I felt was pain and insecurity and somehow I convinced myself, that I were in love with him. But I wasn't, I've never been.

He was the safe bet. God, I thought I was being so out-of-toxic-behavior when I started going out with him but actually it was oh so selfish.

Even moving in was a decision my temper took for me, when I realized I fucked up with you. When I learned about her. I want you to be happy but something inside me broke that day.

So I kinda gave in to my fate, because why leave him when you're so happy with her? I mean, obviously I can't ever have you back so I might aswell stay with him even though I don't love him. He's a nice guy and he's head over heels in love with me. Maybe it's enough for the both of us, I though back then.

But there's a saying, you know. Three things can not long be hidden - the sun, the moon and the truth. So the truth is, I still have feelings for you, more than I should. Memories of our time together randomly pop up in my mind, of the songs you sent me that perfectly fit our relationship. Sometimes it makes me cry rivers of damned regret, sometimes it helps me fall asleep.

As much as I tried to deny it the past few years: You'll always have that special part in my heart. I won't ask for you to ever give us another shot but I want you to know, that you're still my favorite. My Noah from 'The Notebook'.

And especially my Alex from 'Love, Rosie'.

[couplenotes]

[only-one-in-color]

2017/01/04

Sometimes I would just like to know what made you change your mind about me being the woman of your dreams and about us having a future together. The biggest question you left behind.

[only-one-in-color]

[only-one-in-color]

2016/12/21

We'll meet again. It doesn't matter if it's in this life or another. I just know that two souls like us can't be seperated. Maybe far away from each other, maybe not having the right timing, but not even death could part us forever.

[only-one-in-color]

2016/12/16

Do you miss me sometimes? Do you recall our weekends, our nights together? Do you cry at night because I'm too far away? Do you overthink our ending, our time after and our whatever-called-relationship? Do you feel hurt when you think of me? Do you want me to lay next to you on lonely nights? Do you break down sometimes, thinking of what could have been and how it isn't as it was supposed to be? Cause I do.

[teenagecrush]

But every time I think about not having you in my life I literally break into a million pieces.

(via teenagecrush)

[poems-and-words]

[ich-brauch-dich-hier]

Kann den Gedanken nicht ertragen, dass dein Herz vielleicht jemand anderem gehört. Dass jemand anderes in deinem Kopf ist.

(via ellayyah)

[only-one-in-color]

2016-12-07

I heard that song again, accidently. It hit me like a car, right in my chest. I can cope with everything else, but this tiny little detail always makes it hard to breathe. I wish I could just turn it off.

You know, I’m not angry at you for what happened. I don’t hate you. Some part of me actually understands why you acted the way you did. So if I say it hurts, I don’t want to make you feel guilty. I just need to write it down somewhere, to let it out.

[only-one-in-color]

Let's be honest, your promise was never meant to last.

Shinedown - For My Sake

[only-one-in-color]

2016/12/01

It still hurts every night and it doesn't even matter if he's lying next to me or not. You can't imagine how many nights I'm crying myself to sleep, all in secrecy, because I remember all the things you said, everything you did. I'm about to cry everytime I hear something sweet because all I can think is "Well, K said that too and he still left me." I don't want to get over you, but I finally want to get over the pain. It worsens every day and I feel like it's eating me alive.

[only-one-in-color]

Starset - Dark On Me