now my feet won't touch the ground @onlyhereforthefreecoffee - Tumblr Blog

“Your healing is about you. It doesn’t need a stamp of approval. Don’t worry about how long it takes or how ugly it might seem. It is about you, and your wellbeing.”

— Unknown

Manifesting a happy future and an abundant waterfall of smiles.

But rainbows don't last forever and sunny skies turn to grey.

amargedom

At around 2AM of December 25, I went inside Anda's old room (where ** was staying) to say goodnight to him. I opened the door and saw him holding something with a light on. It was a ring placed inside a box with a little spotlight. I sat next to him and said, 'Sure ka na ba?' repeatedly. He was quiet, and was just motioning for me to wear the ring he has. I smiled, knowing already my answer - which I know he knows, and said 'Asan na yung speech mo? Akala ko ba inaantay mo yung moment na to?'. I laughed because he was speechless and looking cute as ever waiting for my reply. He said he wants me to wear the ring first before he asked me 'the question'. I was beaming, my heart pounding ever so loudly, not because I was scared, but because it's something we've both wanted and is now within arm's reach. And so he did, he asked me, no explanations or anything, and I said yes.

The thing is, I loved this version better than what I have in my head, than what he pictured in his mind, too. This was just us, purely knowing that forever is something we want to experience together. In our hearts, we knew that no questions were needed, no ring was needed, just us wanting a life shared is all that we needed. And for me, this is 'That One Moment'. The one thing that matters.

After that, I went inside me and my Ate's room to show her the ring. I PMed my closests friends to wish them a Merry Christmas, and included in there is a picture of my hand wearing the ring. And to celebrate our little milestone, me and ** decided to eat cake. We then said goodnight, called it a day, and told my parents and other relatives the news that morning.

It was a beautiful day.

All my love

The funny thing about the future, is that there is no way we can predict how things will work out for us. We may be weeping in sorrow, but we most certainly wish it will be for the best.

Before I go to sleep, I always play a quick scenario or overview of what my day will be like when I wake up. What things I need to accomplish, what I’ll be eating, what problems I might encounter at work, or just random things that my heart wishes would happen. The image I have in my head is always different from what actually happens. It’s as if a magical force is helping me to achieve the best possible outcome in every situation. Despite of it all, I, most certainly am happy.

The good and the bad, we take it with every second that pass. No matter how hard it is to accept change and the things that come with it, we still, and we always will take a plunge and go through it all.

The point is, our vision will always be different from what is written. We can’t alter it, we just need to enjoy it.

In a few days it’s going to be Christmas, and I will surely look forward to welcoming new traditions. :)

Counting stars

And in a few days, I'll probably know if it's a go or a no.

Has it been that long already? It's as if a year has only passed since I saw you smirk over the glass wall. It's gonna be different now, and I can't help but be anxious and happy at the same time. I've only told two of my friends, both were surprised but very, very happy. They understood me, the situation, and how much things have changed with time passing us by.

I know why you keep on waking up. I know how anxious you must be, too. It'll be worth it, we both know that. I look forward to exhausting days with you, petty fights with all the decision-making we need to do, and most especially creating that excel template I've been too excited about. Hah!

In a few days, in a few weeks, in a lifetime, the choice will always be two and not one. :)

Ohhhhh, crap!

Not sure what your plans are, and I really don't care at all....but all I wanna say is, grow up.

Are you proud of what you've become? Are you proud of who you are?

I had a first hand experience of how shitty you are as a person. Emotionally abusing people for you to get what you want. Playing the victim card just because you're insecure of what other people have accomplished. Being a jerk, even to those close to you. And talking shit, to anyone who's against you. Even go as low as judging someone based on their looks and preference???

Seriously, who are you? Are you even real? Are you even a person? ARE YOU PERFECT? Why did I even become your friend before?

I'm glad we cut ties. I'm glad I'm no longer a friend. Because honestly, it was traumatizing to be even close to you.

You made me feel like the worst person ever.

You made me feel little.

You made me hate the people around me.

Just because you have issues doesn't mean that you can go around hurting those who care for you (even those who cared enough). The world doesn't revolve around you. And you know what, ATTITUDE matters most. Stop being a narcissist whose only hobby is making yourself feel better by belittling those around you. You're no longer a kid.

Grow up, get a life, get a job. And seriously, stop thinking so highly of yourself.

I hope you come to your senses soon, before you hurt more people, before you hurt the last ones who even give a frick.

Life isn't about looking good and feeling "cool".

Beers won't get you anywhere, partying won't pay your bills, and bringing people down won't make you lovable.

Don't be a clout chaser, be a dream achiever.

PS, if the shoe fits feel free to wear it proud.

Also, love your parents.

dandelion-in-spring

I'm a little late but here's an animation I made to celebrate 10 years of 1D.

Back to when

The last week was the happiest I've ever been since the quarantine started.

It felt like 2010 all over again, when my only problem was passing exams. I felt alive, young, and free.

Ten years ago, I was this college girl who always had her earphones in, listening to her shuffle with WMYB on repeat, while sitting at the stairs of the old Engineering building.

Fangirling has always made me feel alive, from David, JB, Taylor, One D, and now to more artists - mainstream and indie. It made me smile whenever new music is released. I would listen to the whole album on repeat for days, until I have memorized the lyrics by heart, until I eventually discover a new music to listen to.

The last few days made me realize how being a fangirl truly affects me and my life. I giggled like a teenager just because of a tweet. I binged watched every music video, tweeted non-stop, and even woke up every few hours just to trend on twitter, see what I've missed, do retweets, and check on my lads. I didn't have much sleep, and cleary being online made me lose focus at work. But WHAT THE HECK, I felt alive - and honestly, at a time like this where everything is uncertain, feeling happy and safe was all that mattered. I haven't felt like this in a long while. I was too happy that even my boyfriend noticed how important this moment is for me.

This post is just me trying to put to words every emotion I am feeling, and also an appreciation post to my lads, who made me happy and free. I will always be a fan, one proud fan. I will always be here to support them, as a group, individually, too.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! My heart is happy, content, and more importantly grateful. I am grateful for their music, for them, for this chance this 2020. Who'd have thought that a simple tweet can bring a lot of memories and emotions back, and most certainly it brought a family back together.

*cries in the showers that are british*

I love you, One Direction. Thank you for saving me.

myloveisablessing

To hopes regained:

Today is a Sunday for the books. Today, the world is in halt. Today, we celebrate at home. Unusual, weird, but still the same.

The message that Easter brings will always, always be the same - from the beginning of time, until a million generations after. Jesus is alive. He is, He will be, now and forever.

Although it may be hard to find Him during this crisis, we can see His works with every little breakthrough: quarantine lifted, the face if a healthworker doing his/her job, recoveries from babies to persons older than we could imagine, rapid testing kits developed, even ordinary people sharing the littlest of what they have tk others. We may not know when this will end, but when it does, say a prayer of gratitude. Rejoice! For the battle is won, and that at the break of dawn comes a new light of hope.

Easter will always remind us of good defeating the bad. And Easter of 2020 will be marked as a year of beginnings and healing.

The LORD is risen. Like He does, in our hearts. Alleluia, Alleluia!

As for me, a new hope emerges upon hearing and singing Gloria. It's a different Easter, but it will be a good one like it has always been. To breakthroughs and restored faith!

Next page.

Hey, you. I know you're excited of what's to come. Even go as far as reading blogs and learning the step-by-step procedures of filing for one.

But, how does he feel about it? Like, genuinely feel about staying for good?

I knew it, like how you already sensed it.

Stop. Or pause. Whatever it is you want, just stop.

I will never return.

Snap.

It was like a story with the climax at the beginning, and

I was doomed.

Not today.

I jumped on a cliff so high,

I wondered why.

Murmured wisdoms to myself,

keeping myself dry.

I was in so deep right before I knew it.

Visions of darkness came to sight,

And I reckon the first time,

that I didn't do it right.

The allure of happy promises came to mind.

A chain of sorrys you will write.

naturaekos

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now my feet won't touch the ground