Vicurious

Its easier to hide.

[millie-r-carpenter]

My last words to you were 'I love you' because even if you're gone I do and will - forever

[milayahime]

Differences, differences

All our differences

Shouldn't they be embraced

Or is this just how it is

So much in common

So many similar scars

But we're more than that, right?

More than the things that mar

We've come so far together

Grown in ways that I'm so thankful

But I'm so tired of the arguments

Of how talking about anything real has made me fearful

I know you don't harm me physically

I know we're trying so very hard

But I don't know what to do anymore

When the tears come and I'm again marred

Where I once felt safe

It no longer feels like home

Your arms feel foreign now

And my heart is starting to roam

Looking for something

Something it's never known

[milayahime]

What am I looking for?

In those who don't understand...

I want to learn to love myself,

but it's my own reflection I can't seem to stand.

Those eyes are too dark

That smile is so fake

Her face is too full

She's like a body found at the bottom of a frozen lake

Dead inside

But frozen still

A body fresh

Like she might actually heal

Yet her heart isn't beating

Her breath no longer flows

Is there something in her eyes

I'm not sure I'll ever know

Be kind to yourself

A whisper pleas

The longing for life

Begs from her knees

Yet that louder voice laughs

And points out another flaw

"Here you are nothing

Here you are nothing at all..."

I turn away before she can see inside

I might hate my reflection

But there's so much more to hide

[milayahime]

Dear future me,

if it gets worse please don't stop trying.

Time heals and anything is possible.

There's nothing beyond dying...

I know we're struggling

I know things are rough

But no matter what happens

We are enough

I'm trying my best

And this is just a reminder

That lost little girl inside

We just have to find her

Our will and desire

Lie in her hands

Her future is bright

Even if we don't understand

So take a breath

Maybe three

Do it for her

Do it for me...

[milayahime]

To love and be loved

Are two very different things

I can say I love you

Tell you how my heart sings

You can say you love me

But forget to make it feel real

You can say you love me

Like it's no big deal

But that's the difference

When it comes to our hearts

It may be the same feeling

But it comes from different parts

I speak from my soul

You speak from your chest

It's not a contest

But who really loves best...

Is it I who acts from her bones

Or you

Who cares for what he owns

I fear I've done it again

Given a piece of me I'll never get back

I'll have to let you go

And somehow it'll be all about what I lack

I scream for you to love me

But I should not have to plead

For you I would have given it all

For you I would bleed

But, c'est la vie

What will be will be

And if this is the end

Maybe next time I'll fall in love with me

[milayahime]

I learned early on

that certain people aren't meant to last

They come into your life

And leave just as fast

They teach you lessons

Show you things you don't understand

Family or friend, lover or foe

In the end things never go as planned

Relationships fade

It doesn't matter what kind

Always and forever

This isn't what we had in mind

I'm starting to see

I'm just a lesson too

After all

That's what I am to you

[milayahime]

It's too loud

But there's no sound

I'm overwhelmed

But there's no one around

I'm getting angry again

All I want to do it cry

There's all this pain again

I'm fighting this want to die

My mind is mayhem

My brain is over run

My heart won't stop racing

What's there to be done

So I grab the ice pack

I start to count to three

I don't want to be here

But I'm not doing this for me

[sophie-poetry]

But how could you say all those beautiful things when you knew how desperately I had waited to hear them? How could you hold my heart when it was the most honest thing I had to give and still let it break? How could you know my fears, my thoughts, my laughter, the quiet parts of me that I never showed anyone else and still treat me like I was something you could simply walk away from?

Mine.

[milayahime]

It's like a drug

I mean what a rush

From the racing of your thoughts

To your face gone flush

And it won't matter if it's good or bad

Because you'll assume

Hey, it's love

And love is good in all we consume

Even when it's rough

Even when it's dirty

It can still be kind

It can still be flirty

What a rush it is to scream

Till your heart breaks

What a joy it is

To find out how much love takes

Oh wait

Wrong station

I'm sorry

No need for the agitation

Here we are

That line again

Shall we walk it

Or snort it my friend?

[vexheart]

[emotionalwords]

[bleedinginthemidnightdrafts]

Addiction

The clock on the wall beats a heavy, lead drum, but the seconds stretch out into years. 

I am trapped in a freeze-frame, paralyzed, numb, 

While my chest fills with saltwater tears.

You move like a ghost through a sun-dappled room, so light, so untethered, so high. 

You are drifting aloft in a quiet, pale bloom, 

While I watch from the floor as you fly.

But you aren't flying. 

You’re floating, a weightless balloon, cut loose from the dirt and the ache. 

And I am the anchor dragged into the dune, suffocating for every breath you won't take.

I am drowning in air, gasping hard for your lungs, as the pressure builds thick in my head. 

The pleas and the prayers taste like ash on our tongues, while you coast on a soft, feather bed.

The water is rising, it’s up to my chin, I am sinking under the weight of your peace. 

I’m fighting the current you’re slumbering in, begging the storm for release.

You look down at me through a glass bottom boat, serene in your slow motion slip. 

You don’t feel the panic, you just casually float, While I swallow the sea for your ship.

-bleeding in the midnight drafts

[shihitori]

[sophie-poetry]

I still talk to you in my head. I tell you about my day, every little ridiculous thing that happened, knowing exactly where you'd laugh. You'd call me adorable, tease me a little, then drift into one of your endless rambles while I quietly listened, smiling because you're voice always felt like home. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine you're lying next to me. Close enough to reach for. Close enough to forget, if only for a second, that you're not really there. Eventually, you'd tell me you had things to do. So we'd hang up. And I'd spend the rest of the day waiting for my phone to light up again. Always hoping it would be you. It always was you.

Mine.

[paper-wounds]

via

[wordx]

and for my final act of love, I will always remember your birthday but never wish you.

[angeltearss0]

In another life we stayed together like we promised.

– angeltearss0