1994

She laughs without fear of the future

[onmarchthirty-blog]

Yes, I am Scared

Time check: 1:10am, August 09

It is drizzling outside, bed is cozy and the atmosphere is lulling me to sleep but I can’t... I just can’t find a way to get these stupid thoughts out of my head. Do you feel that different kind of way your heart beats? It beats fast and slow at the same time that it makes you wanna pause for a while and just listen to it. 

My heart, what is troubling you? Please let me know because you’re confusing me plus these thoughts that’s been bothering me for the last weeks. You’ve been acting strange and lonely lately that you cried yourself to sleep earlier. Are you still drained from that sick week we’ve been through? I thought we’re okay, but I guess we’re not... all this time. 

You are scared, I know. 

You are scared with this overwhelming stuff you’ve got in your hands --- school (plus the expenses needed), ministry, family and all these responsibilities you have to accomplish because you want to be done with it. This constant pressure that’s always on top of you saying: “you need to graduate next year!” “hit up on your goals!” “don’t forget your family!” You’re terrified that you’ll be stuck and end up with nothing but disappointments and frustrations. 

You are scared that you’re being left out again. Those people that you’re surrounded with are on the edge of giving up on you, neglecting you and abandoning you. One day will come when you wake up and feel that they just don’t care anymore and that after all this time, you thought they’re the ones worth keeping for but that’s not how they felt about you. You’re scared because you don’t have “your person” who’s always gonna be on your side but everyone you know has that somebody in their life. 

You are scared that the things you love about yourself are the same things that pushes people away. You are hard to love--- and it’s a terrifying thing to think about. Having questions of “what did I do wrong?” “what’s with me?” just keeps taunting you and leave you helpless because you don’t know the answers. It’s hard to place yourself in a world where you don’t belong in anything or with anyone in the first place. You keep on searching, and finding out what’s wrong with you and why people just can’t stay in your life. 

You are scared, I know. And it’s okay.

It is normal to react this way--- this world is so big, full of opportunities, lots of people to deal with and it will definitely offer challenges that will push you outside your comfort zone. It is natural because you’re human and clueless on how to handle things but it’s not your fight alone, God is with you in all your life’s battles. And it is naive to think against yourself because if there’s one person who should love you completely, honestly, and unconditionally... that would be you! Love yourself first and that love will radiate from inside out and it will attract those people who’ll love you and stay with you. But you can only do that if you keep your heart anchored in God’s love because the love we’ve been searching and demanding from other people can only be found in Him.

My heart, before we face another day together, I want you to get rid of all the fear you have inside. Breathe it all out. Let’s live one day at a time. One responsibility at a moment. Don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? Never let these challenges remove your softness. We can get through this by God’s grace. All the provision we need is already provided! Tasks ahead are already victorious! Rest is on every side! You have nothing to worry! God is with us always.

You will never gonna have to be scared anymore. :) 

[wnq-writers]

That guy who would write poetry about you does not exist. The guy who loves you for the damaged piece you are does not exist. The guy who sends you flowers after a fight does not exist. The guy who sings romantic songs for you does not exist. The guy who would love you faithfully, completely and irrevocably does not exist. That’s because you have to be that person for yourself first. You can write poetry for yourself to show how beautiful words can make you feel. You can compose shitty songs about love and absolutely adore them because you did it yourself. You can love yourself faithfully and irrevocably. Because honey if you can’t love yourself, rough edges and all then how do you expect someone else to envelope you in complete adoration?

thewriterthatnobodynoticed (via wnq-writers)

[words-of-emotion]

Be grateful for the good times and keep the faith during the bad times. Stay positive when life gives you every reason to be negative.

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[onmarchthirty-blog]

Stop Doing These Things to an Introvert

1. Stop Making Us Feel That We’re Hard to Understand - We get it, ok? We often get mind-boggled with ourselves too so emphasizing it won’t help at all. Words for us are better said inside our heads than verbalizing it so please be patient with us when we struggle to say what we really mean, don’t hold us back from explaining ourselves and have the sincere heart to understand us.

2. Stop Pushing Us Away - Just because you see us enjoy our alone time doesn’t mean we always want it. It hurts when we’re pushed away. For some time, we want to feel that we belong somewhere with human company where we don’t feel left out.

3. Stop Getting Upset With Our Usual Routine - A day just can’t pass without being with ourselves so stop nagging when we’re already zoned out with a book or comfortably snuggled in our favorite corner of the bed. This is how we recharge so let us be.

4. Stop Thinking That We Want To Be Alone All The Time - For the record, we’re still humans but quieter. Honestly it’s sometime depressing to be alone, you can’t stop thinking “Don’t they like me as a friend? Am I that hard to get along with? What’s wrong with me?” Yes, we love our personal space but please save us from drowning ourselves with these thoughts of pity & loneliness. 

5. Stop Saying We’re Psychopaths - We’re mentally, physically and emotionally stable... We just don’t like spending most of our time and energy with lots of people. So yeah, we’re still a perfectly normal human being... apparently

[wnq-writers]

She walks in beauty, With a tortured heart and a swollen mind, Carrying a torch ignited with love, A love so bright it illuminates the darkest room. She walks in beauty, Creating an Essence of pure joy, Bringing the lame to stand, And the blind to see. She walks in beauty, Glimmering with every step I which she takes, Leaving a trail of broken hearts, She walks in beauty.

clemsontigers43 (via wnq-writers)

[onmarchthirty-blog]

Things I realized when I was on my weakest point

For the past 5 days, I never thought I could be this physically drained--- flu got me yet schedule was hectic and I still need to move. My legs were wiggling like jellies every time I walked so I stumbled sometimes, my nose got rashes, my throat aches due to hard coughing, my temperature was on a rise, it was a struggle to sleep at night, and my head was like hammered and boiled at the same time. I was a total mess. 

But despite of all that, this loud mind of mine realized these odd things  about random stuff when I’m resting alone:

1. It’s Okay To Feel Weak - Longing to be cared for is normal and it’s not a sign that you’re clingy or overly needy. It’s ok, really, because that’s the time you realized that you have to pause for a while and take some time to check yourself. You can’t be strong all the time and don’t take it as a disappointment because darling, you need to feel weak sometime to breathe and to rest.

2. Appreciate the Unexpected - Personally, I didn’t expect to be checked upon time to time by people whom I have the slightest idea that would be concerned on what’s happening with me (except my mom & life coach, of course. they were TOO concerned haha) and I really appreciate it. Their simple questions, phrases & declarations like: “Ok ka na?” “Uminom ka na ba gamot?” “Pahinga ka muna” “Ate, you’re healed!” --- Hearing those words every time I passed by them gives me warmth. So thank you, unexpected people! :)

3. Don’t Forget To Take Care of Your Body - I may have this strong-willed soul and positive personality but if my body is not at its finest condition, I am like a dead battery that needs to be recharged. Honestly speaking, this body given to us by God is our number one asset yet it is also the first thing we take for granted. It has its needs and if not provided and taken care of properly, it would be some serious damage. So despite all our busyness, please don’t forget to rest, eat well, take vitamins, meditate and don’t beat your body up! Be kind to yourself :)

4. It’s Okay If You’re Not Surrounded by Those People Who You Thought Will Be There For You in Your Weakest Point - Sucks, I know. Sounds unfair, yeah but nevermind! You’ll still be getting better whether they’re not there with you. Now you know where not to go and whom not to rely on when this happens again.

Be brave,

Self

[onmarchthirty-blog]

I’m Not Gonna Miss You Anymore

To you whom I’ve loved sincerely but chose not to say it, whom I’ve adored because of being who you are but settled to just look from afar, and whom I’ve dreamed of to be my “the one” but ended up being separated apart... I just wanna say that I missed you terribly but from this day on, I choose not to miss you anymore.

Yes, you were a part of my heart but I realized that it doesn’t mean you will become part of my life. I want you to stay but I need to get away from this feeling of being a wreck because you’re not there anymore. I am tired of being that girl who gets drowned by her own “what ifs” and suffocated by her painful memories of you. I was hurt, and it was unbearable because you did it.

I choose not to miss you anymore so I could be free... from you.

[basdos]

[introvertunites]

[risarodil]

Compiling these at last. Making this series was so much fun! Massive thanks to all the people who suggested quotes along the way! 

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[wnq-writers]

Fall in love with souls, with deep minds; rather than superficial beauty.

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[wnq-writers]

Sometimes all we need is a good set of hands to hold us while we despair, no words needed.

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[hplyrikz]

Clear your mind here

[hplyrikz]

I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.

Jenna,

Waitress

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