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demonitized-cultivation

Lan Wangji: I want to hear those three little words.

Wei Wuxian: I love you~

Lan Wangji: That’s sweet, but try again.

Wei Wuxian: Fine. I will behave.

mo-dao-zu-shi-incorrectquotes

Lan Qiren: Rules were made to be followed. Nothing was made to be broken.

Nie Huaisang: Hm... piñatas?

Jiang Cheng: Practice dummies!

Wei Wuxian: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Lan Wangji, quietly: And rules.

imperfectpompom

Wei Ying is questioning all of his life decisions.

Currently, he’s on the brink of falling off of the smallest double bed ever, laying right next to his crush who doesn’t like him back.

He knew he should have let Lan Zhan book the hotel room.

If there’s one thing that Wei Ying knows about Lan Zhan, it’s that he likes his personal space. So looking back, it’s pretty obvious that they probably should have just booked two rooms. But they’re students! That is not the kind of sensible decision they should be making at this point in their lives!

And anyways, what’s the worst that can happen? At worst, he’ll wake up in the morning after a wet dream about the man next to him and a raging boner. Not too bad, right?

Who’s he kidding. Lan Zhan deciding to put up with his shit long enough to go on a trip with him is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He can’t fuck this up — the mere thought of Jiang Cheng laughing at him for the weeks afterwards makes him want to puke.

Wei Ying’s on the brink of hyperventilating when a warm foot knocks against his own.

Huh?

That must have been a mistake… Right?

Lan Zhan would never want to… Not with Wei Ying! Yeah…

Wei Ying’s just gonna pretend that didn’t happen. He’ll just quietly fall asleep.

But, he should probably tell Lan Zhan what that means right? In case something like this happens again? Not to mention, if Wei Ying was anyone else they might have taken that the wrong way!

“Lan Zhan,” He whispers into the dark.

“Go to sleep, Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s voice is husky with sleep. (Hot.)

“I will, but just so you know - uhm. I know this isn’t what you meant but, when you share a bed with someone, and your feet touch…”

This is so awkward.

“Well, it’s generally a sign that you want to fuck…”

Silence.

And then… There’s another foot sliding up his ankle?

“Lan Zhan?”

“Wei Ying.”

“This is really weird, but I swear that there’s a ghost or something touching my—!”

A pair of warm lips cut him off.

enden-k

offers one doodle as a start

the-ma-an

I remember hearing somewhere that, when you're into someone, you subconsciously pick up little behaviours or habits of the person you like. So now I can't not imagine that Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are guilty of the same thing, especially after they get married. Like Wei Ying would start automatically answering with "Mn" or single word responses, even when he's not busy. On the other hand, Lan Zhan, whose still the image of elegance for the most part, will just let loose and tease whoever he feels comfortable enough around (mainly Wei Ying). And he will do it with the most barely there shit eating grin.

highstrionics

wei wuxian will say "damn kids these days can't do SHIT, at their age i was killing legendary beasts AND making lan qiren cough blood on the DAILY" only to be reminded by lan wangji, very gently, that they a) were both the geniuses of their generation, b) almost died killing the xuanwu and c) giving his uncle heart attacks isn't something to be proud of

profmori

THIS FANDOM HAS HELL WAITING FOR THEM HELP /j

strottine

Some colorful doodles of wangxian and lil baby a-yuan bc i am going through a phase

mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess

WangXian are like

At a grocery store or something

And while Wei Ying manages to befriend some random lady in the spices isle

Lan Wangji and the woman's husband just sit a little a-ways, waiting for them to be done with their shopping and talking

And the husband makes some Generic "I hate married life" Straight Man Joke™️

And LWJ just doesn't

Get it

"Do you not love your wife?"

"Well I do but you know, feels like being in shackles sometimes, haha"

"No, I do not. I feel very happy to be married."

"I mean... yeah, but isn't it a little annoying sometimes?"

"No, not at all. I love my husband very much."

"W-well, doesn't he just make you lose your mind sometimes?"

"Only in a good way. I apologize if I am overstepping, but if you do not enjoy being married, you should divorce."

Thankfully, Wei Ying parts with his new friend a few seconds later and dumps a whole lot of chili in their shopping cart, raising an eyebrow at the confused expression on Lan Zhan's face.

"Straight people are... unusual." He says and Wei Ying bursts into laughter so loud half the store turns a side eye.

mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess

Wei Ying has his fear of dogs, Lan Zhan deals with it the best he can by shooing the dogs away and he gets kisses in return plenty

But my personal headcanon is that both the fearsome Yiling Patriarch and his illustrous Hanguang-Jun have a shared fear/disgust of spiders

Fierce corpses, ghosts, ancient beasts? Fair game.

Spiders?

Nah, they don't fuck with that.

"Lan Zhan, you saw it first, you deal with it."

"No."

"What do you mean no?! Aren't you my husband? You're supposed to protect me!"

"Mn. But you are also my husband, so, likewise."

"This is ridiculous. You're Hanguang-Jun, the Second Jade of Lan. That's just a stupid spider!"

"You are also the Yiling Patriarch, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation."

"Lan Zhan, come on, we can't stay up on this table forever. Just kill it!"

"Killing is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses."

"A whole lot of things we do are forbidden in the Cloud Recesses but that never stopped you before!"

"Mn."

"No 'mn'!! You have to do something about it and quickly, unless it..."

"Wei Ying?"

"The...the spider...I don't know where it is, it's gone!!"

"Gone?!"

(Sizhui comes to visit and finds his two most respected parental figures in battle stances, Chenqing is out, talismans float about and the two very graciously stand on their spiritual swords safely away from the floor.

Sizhui kills the spider.)