repost of horecrux's The Harmful Effects of Gay Porn & Resources to Overcome Addiction.
I havenât been able to find grudge-packers post on here, so Iâm going to repost it here just so it doesnât get lost. It is a gem, considering how scant information is around this particular subject.
Iâve noticed a lot of gay men acknowledging how the porn industry harms women, with particular relation to its association with sex trafficking, child porn and sexual violence (you can read about this here), however these same gay men will then make references to watching gay porn themselves.
Obviously there are no women in gay porn, so why is this a problem? I promise iâm not just trying to burst a bubble here, but itâs a lot more complicated than that. Almost all online porn platforms are owned by the same company, called Mindgeek. Pornhub, Youporn, Redtube, Mydirtyhobby, Xtube and more all make up part of a gigantic conglomeration founded by a man called Fabian Thylmann. This corporation also owns several porn movie production companies including Brazzers, Digital Playground, Men.com, Reality Kings, Sean Cody, and WhyNotBi.com.
When a gay man consumes gay porn on these platforms, he directly funds the exact same company that profits from the abuse, trafficking and rape of women and children. That 10 second ad before the video starts, the one that gay men joke about shielding their eyes from because itâs full of naked women, literally puts money in their pocket. It goes without saying that the women in the ad could be victims too. Opposing the porn industryâs brutal treatment of women is meaningless if youâre also paying their ad revenue.
Unfortunately, it doesnât stop there â even when avoiding the platforms above. Evidence shows that the porn industry really doesnât treat gay men that much better than women. Gay porn actors are dropping dead at an alarming rate and their average age is just 25. Suicide and drug use are major factors in this statistic, as is premature heart failure from steroid use. Gay porn also pays an average yearly salary of $24000, with the expectation that actors supplement their income with prostitution. Men in central europe are being trafficked and raped on camera, and this makes up a significant part of the Czech Republicâs renowned gay porn industry. At least half of gay porn actors are heterosexual but shoot gay scenes because they make more money than in straight porn â this, as much as the actors make light of it, is rape. Former gay porn stars have commented on the prevalence of the PTSD âthousand yard stareâ among their coworkers. I once personally met a former gay porn actor who had the thousand yard stare â he was also addicted to meth and told me he quit porn after his guts literally started falling out of his ass. Talking of which, bottoms are subjected to slaps, punches and homophobic/misogynistic slurs on camera. If youâve watched literally any gay porn youâll have seen this. Why is this violence ok?
Gay teens also use porn as a form of sex education because their sex ed classes donât cover what they need to know, so this violent subjugation of bottoms forms the basis of their education about gay sexuality. Double penetration, fisting and even just rough sex are dangerous for bottoms in the long term, but this is what young boys are learning to call normal. Itâs important for gay men to know the nature of the industry they support when they consume porn.
Itâs also important to remember that porn consumption is just as harmful to gay men as it is to straight male consumers (another link to the masterpost if you donât feel like scrolling up) with respect to brain damage, mental health issues, violent thoughts/behaviour and addiction. And personally, as someone who used sex to validate myself in my early 20s and ended up sleeping with over 100 men in my lifetime as a result, i can testify to this: the more porn you watch, the worse at sex you are. I could always tell when a guy watched too much porn because he would be totally unwilling to collaborate with me during sex â either we did exactly what he wanted (which was usually a re-enactment of a porn video) or he wasnât interested. A lot of these guys wanted to fuck in positions which would look great on camera, but are actually just kinda awkward in real life. Sometimes theyâd boss me about like a movie director, dictating my every move. Generally speaking, they were a lot more critical and less satisfied with both my body and their own. One just straight up spat in my mouth without even asking me if i was into it first. Porn can and will make you terrible in bed. I could send these guys into orbit with a mediocre blowjob because theyâd never even been with somebody that prioritised tangible pleasure and sensation over porn re-enactment before.
If youâre a gay man who opposes the porn industry but still consumes gay porn, or youâve read this post and would like to quit, then thereâs plenty of other options. Find real people. Connect with other gay men in your local community. Go on a date and fuck if thereâs chemistry. Read gay erotica. Buy some toys if you get bored of âjustâ jerking off, although thereâs a lot to be said for having a long, self-indulgent reconnection with your own body after spending so much time on porn sites looking at someone elseâs. Whatever you do, please donât continue supporting this industry â especially if you already hate what it does to women (and the men in your own community.)
On top of the information he has provided, I wanted to give some of my own as well as resources on how to help with porn addiction.
Understand that gay porn tends to be borderline paedophilic. There is a disturbing normalisation of hairless, young-looking men and remarkable age gaps between partners.
Know the growing prevalence and normalisation of âstealthingâ that is in encouraged by pornography and that there are entire communities dedicated to catching HIV. If you think this is unrelated to porn, look to how gay porn actors have been fired for not wanting to have sex with HIV+ men.
In addition to what grudge-packer has provided above, here is what you can do if you are struggling with porn addiction:
Turn time wasted on porn into something productive, like learning a new hobby.
Use safe search features on Twitter or uninstall the app if it is too tempting.
Talk about your experiences with porn and how it has negatively impacted your life, be it in a blog post, meetings in person etc. Establish a network with people you can trust.
Read how other people have managed with porn addiction (as awful as reddit is, itâs a good place for personal accounts as well as a Pornstar AMA). There are even some articles too.
Delete any pornography that you have saved on your phone/computer. Wipe it clean. Delete accounts. Burner e-mails. Anything that is associated with it. Have you spent money on it and itâs deterring you? Know that the money has already been wasted, and youâre doing yourself more harm than good by keeping it.
Iâve seen this used as an excuse by gay men before who seem to have no understanding of the difference between artful nudity and pornography. Art is subjective and can be interpreted in many different ways. Itâs there to be appreciated. You cannot do this if you are being aroused by it via. objectification (porn). Is it aimed at an aesthetic experience or for sexual arousal?
We owe ourselves self-respect and pornography is not the way to do it. It should not be as celebrated within the gay community as much as it is, rather, it should be vilified as the evil that has taken so many gay men â young and old â and that preys on those of us who are impoverished. We need to build networks to support impoverished gay men, not to encourage them to sell their bodies. I once saw a quote on here that Iâll never forget that was along the lines of:
Your first response to help a hungry woman shouldnât be to stick your dick in her mouth.
I want gay men to know that this shouldnât be our response for gay men in need.
It is the elephant in the room that needs to be talked about. Be courageous and make a commitment to yourself and other gay men.
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