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Jules / 19 / he him / down with dope up with hope transphobes/zionists fuck off

[opened-up]

i’m still impossible 

been trying to figure out where to go from here 

when i identify a sore point, why isn’t it just plucked out by red plastic pincers

been listening around for new points of view 

keeping an ear to the ground

and still i’m half-asleep trying to drive 

spurred sometimes, TMS jolts 

weak sillage deals

[opened-up]

i wish i was born perfect and beautiful 

photorealistic rose scent 

true to life 

i’m no battered crane fly 

no no

i’ll be honest about it

i won’t warp but 

bend you round a side 

heat applied 

i put up my hands

turn and land in front of me

while i look up so adoringly

i’ll be writing bout it soon enough

you’ll flow and move to other stuff

[opened-up]

we got a lot to catch up on, i’m backk

[opened-up]

tender spot 

hey

started slowly

got good at being together

wanted something too bad 

when i want something it’s only around for a little while 

this is bigger than me

this is older than me

this is a pin in a pulse point

a centre core hit

[opened-up]

think if i saw the real frame of any snap moment

think i’d just burn right up

yeah i think that i

never could handle myself

[opened-up]

your subtle projects you don’t finish 

cause you picture someone out there reading your mind

i’m watching the world through a window

i’m watching the world through your eye

white dimensions you make up

small soft spaces you construct 

giving up your palms to me 

one day it’ll come back 

as the most strange and real memory 

[opened-up]

this is not a bad situation 

i wake up in the most beautiful state

i overwork it till it dulls out 

i create a reality to be pulled inside me

then i reset

let the words sit still before they’re spoken

work out some courage 

i centre it again 

i restore a new digital ego

pixel by pixel

till the thread is lapsed into real life

i’m different . i change myself . my philosophies are shifted to catch a better light 

[opened-up]

i’m at a crossroad 

not sure which point cn i lie down on

i was cheated before i begin

but i’m holding on to myself 

i’m steering a tight handle

makin zero compromise 

setting the highest barrier

i’ll never have to touch 

[opened-up]

and my issues keep me from you

under a still ocean you’re here too

come through in parts 

phone line - i’m not a good guy

dream of a truer one

paralyser stun gun

[opened-up]

because the hard part is over

play it back 

connectors to a director who wants me to live out myself in a rigid structure 

there is no true me to be cracked open

just repetition of action

[opened-up]

i’m waiting for a great single moment 

to fracture off and light me all up

bring me back to a pre-natal type neon up

a corrective hand to flip me round

i’m watching the streets through two mirrors 

bathroom periscope 

sister said i always saw reversed image - worst in her

[opened-up]

water sign

stoned slow talker 

you say things you don’t mean

grew up without siblings 

said, it’s good for you

learnt to make your own fun

cup things in your hands 

two put together 

form a sphere (    )

later you’d whistle like a wolf

walking back with my stomach bare

electrified wire fence

wood fence beyond that

dirt road made up of two parallel indents 

[opened-up]

he comes to me without hesitation

gives himself so easy

weak points i could take for myself

i believe in only myself

boy holds himself like one 

wears blue jeans 

i carve out a centre in the city

calm place for us to sleep

an east entrance 

detail picked up on

this cold weather is making me crazy 

we wake up fighting already

bird glides in a straight line 

hurts itself bashing into the apartment window

i rest my head on a soft spot

and i don’t check it out

[opened-up]

i’m laid bare im a concrete dove 

pressed up against a dark slit 

the person you are in my head

so hi-tech and sculpted 

a split off world i was thinking about for weeks 

has been shut down 

that’s fine

i thought hard about exit routes 

i looked up online tarot decks 

destroyed the sleeping body having the dream

and wake up back to this problem

ends up the same way, i know that i’m pretty sure

there is no you i’m looking for

[opened-up]

slender buildings arch out from their set base 

apartments inside apartments 

i touch a rough angle 

and i wade out further to waters edge 

drop my head down so i can zone in on the order

the natural rhythm 

beat a steady pulse using my crafted palm 

sound rushes back following the pattern 

inside 

a thousand closed eyes

[opened-up]

keep in straight edge 

you whisper to me

tell 

tell me your mind…

i want you so bad till you open your mouth 

and i figure it’s not a real want at all

but i never know if i feel what i do

or if i’m responding to some wound

crushing feels just that

and i think of all the shame i carry out into the pure and flat world 

and again i feel too emotional to work right

i repeat it back as a salve on a hot spot

i’m not fighting against a truer nature to be kind

i’m finding out a kid in me 

[opened-up]

i follow you around 

little moon

you show me pictures on your phone 

we wake up early and have to go to work

you embarrass yourself baby

you are

        too drunk

you are showing me something too delicate 

i will not treat it well