ophelia

[henricavyll]

Closer (2004) dir. Mike Nichols 

[ophelia-blackwell]

@captain-orionqueen

[ophelia-blackwell]

captain-orionqueen

“You are looking for offense Ophelia; I have done nothing to question your intelligence.” ·As she eased closer to him, the normal composed man felt like he was about to crumble. ·Since their time at The Academy, Ophelia had this grasp upon him. ·Anyone from their past would claim Orion was under Ophelia’s spell and he would not deny it. ·Even now, he was under some trance when she was in the room even if he tried to hide it.

Anger began coursing through his veins at her words. “Those are the reasons I chose you,” he stated as a matter of fact. ·Then she mentioned addressing the elephant in the room and his lips tightened and his eyes narrowed towards her. ·“Stop,” he said in a lower voice not wanting her to continue. ·Yet, the blonde kept talking and he stood there clenching his jaw. “Not all my actions are centered on you, Ophelia.” ·Orion looked at her and sighed heavily, “And if you want to be completely honest, you wanted me to chase you. ·All this time you left me clues, left me things to follow you. Does your crew know how I found you? The reason I kept popping in just moments behind you all? ·Do not act as if I was the only one grasping at something.”

For once the two agreed on something, he did not understand her logic in leaving The Alliance. ·The woman had a high rank in the military, people who followed her into battle, but she also had him completely. ·Orion would have followed her anywhere in the known universe and currently that was living proof. ·“Do you hear yourself Ophelia? ·You faked your own death and nearly destroyed me and still you cannot even give me an actual explanation. ·You claim all these things about The Alliance, but here I am a decade later with no actual evidence of anything. ·The Alliance has given me a home, a job, a mission. ·And I truth be told, I am tired of this fight with you.”

Orion rolled his eyes, “stop speculating about what I thought or what I currently think about you. ·It does no good for either of us.” ·He smacked his lips, “you think us acknowledging our past will do us good? ·What good will it do? ·Right now, we are light-years away from home. ·By calculations we might not return for seventy years, hell we might not ever see home in our lifetime. ·All I requested from you is to act like an adult and be a leader. ·Asking you to step up does not mean we need to open the flood gates of our own past. ·I call you Blackwell in front of our people is because that is how I address everyone…by their last name or rank. ·As shocking as this may be for you, all I want is to run this ship in an orderly fashion and do right by our people.”

Ophelia just stared at him for one beat, then another, any sympathy she may have felt for any pain he had to go through when she left evaporating in a moment and instead being replaced by the sharpest stab of anger she had ever experienced in her life. Certainly bigger than any she had ever imaged she could feel towards the man she had once thought she would make a life with. “My mistake for believing we could talk. It’s a mistake I won’t be making again. I can assure you of that, Captain.” Whatever door Ophelia had kept open for him, one where she would be honest with him and felt anything for him any longer seemed to be slamming shut all at once. Strange to think how one conversation could turn feelings from one thing to another but there they were.

“But to be clear- we both know it wouldn’t matter what I told you about the Alliance. Because you wouldn’t believe me anyway. You can’t believe me. Because we both know you have to believe that the Alliance is in the right, that they’re the good guys. Because if they’re not? Then that means you’ve been one of the bad guys all along, doesn’t it? And your moral superiority couldn’t fathom that notion. But they are the bad guys- you have been the bad guy this whole time. We both were the bad guys during the war, fighting for a dictatorship that doesn’t give a shit about the people they claim they’re trying to help. Maybe that’s the price from spending too much time on the central planets. You miss the forest for the trees. We were the monsters, Orion. And when you finally realize that, when that reality kicks you in the teeth? That is what will break you. I know from experience.”

“The fact that ten years on you still can’t see what they are? That just tells me that leaving was the best move I could have made. Hurting you may have never been my intention but that’s where we’re at. You’re still blindly loyal to a group who genuinely doesn’t care about you at all. And I did what I had to do in order to be able to sleep at night. Because I couldn’t keep being one of the bad guys any longer. I may have loved you but that doesn’t mean I could ignore the reality of what we were and who we were working for. You weren’t ready to see it. You still aren’t. Maybe you never will be.”

“You won’t have to worry about me ever bothering to try to discuss things with you again, Captain. And if the opportunity should arise I will leave your ship immediately. Letting you know where I was? That was my mistake. Our story was meant to end all of those years ago. So let's end it now. We will never have to speak again. Or perhaps it would serve better if I just went out the airlock? I know many of your crew would be thrilled. And all that awaits me back home is a jail cell. However the story ends, it ends now. It's long overdue. But like a fool I couldn't let go of how I felt about you. But I see now that was a mistake. Still loving you was a mistake. So you decide how we end this but we are ending this now. I think we've done enough damage."

[ophelia-blackwell]

aleksanderwilsons·:

Perhaps it had been a bad idea to make polite and make both of them suffer through this conversation. Alex felt like everything that came out of Ophelia’s mouth made him want to roll his eyes, but he always restrained. As much as he wanted to feel for her and understand what she was going through, that compassion withered when he thought about how she had essentially abandoned her crew and family once things had gotten difficult. When they needed her most. The worst part wasn’t even that she denied all of this - she knew full well what she was doing and what a lot of them thought of her at the moment. She just didn’t care enough to do anything to change it. He wondered if she had been to see the counselor on the ship at all. Everyone should probably see them at some point, but Alex felt if there was anyone who needed the support it was Ophelia. Whatever was going on in her head was making it more and more likely their crew would fall apart. There were going to be consequences due to her inability/unwillingness to step up as a leader. Orion was keeping things in line for now, but there was no telling how things would be in the future. Either someone loyal stepped up, or their crew might fall apart.

Alex nodded. “Good. That’s… good.” He had no idea what to say. This entire thing was a stupid decision on his part. In the end this conversation was only going to piss the both of them off. “It’s fine,” he shrugged. Part of him wanted to say something about her usage of ‘former captain’, but he refrained. If she wanted to believe that people were suddenly loyal to Queen over her, there was nothing he could do. While Alex wasn’t able to make some sort of ordered list of people he was loyal to, he was still on her side. No matter what had happened between her and Lilith’s brother, she was still his captain. At least for now. He doubted he would ever be more loyal to Orion more than her, though he wasn’t sure what things would look like in a few months. “Yeah, it’s been fine. I can’t really complain.” There were good and bad things. All he could do was try to focus on the positive.

Ophelia nodded, silent, unsure what to say in that moment. She wasn’t sure how to respond to most people from her crew any longer, what to say to them. With Rufus it was east- she never had to wonder what he was thinking or feeling because he was pretty honest with her without any prompting. He was definitely an open book where she was concerned. But with everyone else? Their dynamic had definitely changed. While she knew it in part had something to do with her keeping herself in her room for a while she also knew that wasn’t entirely the case with her crew as a whole. After all, things had changed in a way that couldn’t be fixed. And how could she truly explain to any of them her part in all of the tragedy that had befallen them? Sometimes words failed and if she couldn’t explain things to them? Somehow it didn’t seem like she had the right to question them, to inject herself in their attempts to adjust.

“Well, I’m glad things are going alright for you.” Some very real part of her felt like she should say more to him but what could she say? Anything that came to her mind seemed pale and pathetic in comparison to what anyone would probably want her to say to them. Nothing she could say would offer the many comfort or make their situation any different. “If you should need anything I’m sure Captain Queen would be willing to try to help. He may be strict but he’s always had a good heart.” Speaking about Orion at all anymore felt strange. It had been years since they had been in the same place, years since she really had even said his name out loud so many times. It took her back to a place mentally she had never thought she’d go back to. But that was simply the situation at hand. “And while I don’t know most of his crew personally I’m sure he would have some decent people on board.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

[ophelia-blackwell]

rufus-thrace·:

“One of these days Cap, I amgoing to surprise you.”  For how long thetwo have been friends, Rufus knew it would be difficult.  Ophelia practically could read his mind andalways knew his next moves.  For awhile now,Rufus hardly spent his time in his assigned room.  Instead, he had been spending a lot of nightswith Malcolm.  It was strange, the mangot under his skin so badly but the hate sex was incredible.  “Tempting offer, I might have to consider it.”  

The way she spoke about Orion, itwas hard to know what to think.  Rufuskept quiet, not sure what to say.  Mostof his life he grew up on the Central Planets and was raised to support theAlliance.  Even being with Ophelia forthe last several years, he was not sure if he had a stance.  All he knew was that he was loyal to thewoman who saved his life and gave him a new family.  There was a moment he was about to saysomething about his past life, but he caught himself.  She knew bits and pieces, but he was neverable to tell much about his life before her. “If you say he has his reasons, I will take your word for it.  Still, I just hope things loosen up aroundhere.”

“I think we both know that’s pretty unlikely.” Through their time together Rufus and Ophelia had gotten to know each other pretty damn well. Perhaps a part of that came from the fact that when they had met what seemed like forever ago in that grungy bar they had both bene mostly on their own and had very little in the way of allies. Having no one to depend on, each for their own reason, definitely played a big part in their dynamic. But it also definitely helped forge their friendship. There was no one in the galaxy O could say she trusted more once she had left the Alliance. In the Alliance she had Orion but that was so long ago- and their relationship was pointedly different. But these days it was only Rufus who she trusted with everything including her biggest secrets.

“I think we all hope that he loosens up some,” O responded, not feeling the need to sugarcoat things and pretend that it wasn’t Orion’s choice to keep a rigid hold on those rules even while they were trapped in space. She knew that it might not be easy for him to let go of the rules he was so accustomed to. But the changes in their situation should lead to him letting go of things a little bit. “I wish I could say I see the more…lighthearted Orion coming out some time soon but I can’t see that happening. And I definitely feel like that’s mostly my fault. I think that leaving like I did definitely had a negative effect on him.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

maverick-reynolds·:

Hard truths were something Maverickgotten used to over the years.  Duringthe war, when rations were tight he learned to accept there were other ways toeat.  When his brother died in front ofhim, he had to accept the death and after the war inform his family on it.  Although he left out the part, Rowan onlydied because he made a miscalculation and Rowan took the bullet meant forhim.  Maverick listed, nodding his headgrateful Ophelia did not sugarcoat things. “Thank you ma’am for giving it to me straight,” he told her.  Maverick had an idea things were bad and theywere more than likely lost wandering space that was not claimed and his inklinghad been right.  He poured them bothanother glass.  “Guess all of us have toget used to the idea of seeing each other more.”

“I think we both know, dear Mav, that the two crews becoming used to each other is easier said than done. Old grudges die hard.” While Ophelia could have easily been talking about the ones that she was personally mixed up in there was more to it than that. There was plenty of hatred and resentment to go around aboard that extremely tense ship. Especially when it came to those who had found themselves on the opposite sides of things during the war. While many of the people from both ships didn’t actually fight? The ones who did weren’t going to let go of those grudges too easily. And even those who didn’t fight in the war often had strong opinions either way. Those opinions weren’t going anywhere too easily. The Alliance had made many enemies throughout the galaxy. And feelings like that were difficult to let go and get over. “You and I are former military, regardless of where we had our training. We are more accustomed to…certain conditions. But a lot of Themis is definitely more accustomed to some level of freedom. It’d be foolish to believe that even that isn’t going to cause a little bit of tension on board. I rather think we have a long and difficult road ahead of us when it comes to the crews merging.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

star-crossed-cass·:

“Hm. And I understand that, but they can hate the Alliance without hating all of the people. A lot of the people on this ship weren’t even involved directly in the war. Some of them only joined as a means to an end or because they felt that they had no other options.” It was a common theme she’d found in talking to several of the members of the Virtus. And she’d spoken extensively with the members of the Themis over her time there, so she understood the grudges and hatred that some of them felt toward the Alliance as a whole. They would all just have to learn to separate the entity from the individuals. Both sides would have to learn. Especially if the were going to be stuck together on a ship for gods knew how long.

“I can’t say I’m surprised to hear that. I think I’d be more surprised to hear you wanted to be.” While Ophelia had apparently kept much of her past a secret from her crew, they did at least know of her defection from the Alliance and what it would mean for her to be caught. And they all had things back home that they needed to get back to. They all had family and friends, lives off of the ship. Cass was just lucky that she had Alex with her, although she would have given anything for him to be able to be back home instead. It didn’t mean she was going to downplay Ophelia’s anxiety over the same issue. “Just talk to them. There’s enough blame to go around, but you can start by admitting your part to them.” She wasn’t going to pretend that a large chunk of the blame didn’t lay on the shoulders of the two captains; it would be disingenuous and they would both know it. But Ophelia being able to admit her own mistakes would be a huge step in allowing her to get out of her own head and probably out of her room. “We were all there, we all know what happened and why it played out that way. The fact that your crew still reached out to you afterwards speaks volumes of their loyalty to and their belief in you.” 

“Separating a person from the group as a whole isn’t always the easiest of things.” Not that she thought she had to explain that. It was pretty clear that more often than not it was easier to lump people together rather than to think of them as their own individual people with their own personalities. Especially when that person was  a part of a group that they didn’t like as a whole. Hatred was easier for people to hold onto than most things. And with the damage that the Alliance had done to many families and places? Bonding with the others would be difficult for many. Sometimes it was hard for her to even think of the people she had known before abandoning the Alliance as anything other than soldiers for a cause she couldn’t abide by let alone condone. It was a strange place for her head to be at- the think of the people she used to know as nothing more than soldiers for the Alliance but separating them from their loyalties and their actions was hard. Even the people she had cared for, even those she once called her friends? Where she was at mentally she could only think of them as tools for the Alliance. After all, the Alliance thought of their own people as tools. Perhaps it wasn’t fair but not all of life was.

“There are some things that I can’t tell others about what happened back then. Not because of me or to protect myself. Because someone else could get hurt. Someone innocent.” It was a statement that could be confusing but it was simply a fact. Rufus would know exactly what she was talking about and he could be the only one. Maybe one day she would be able to talk about it with the others but not until she was absolutely sure that she could guarantee that the person she was referring to would be safe and sound back home. “I don’t know that they would understand why I did what I did. Or maybe the Themis crew would but…I have very little faith in things getting better with the Virtus crew. It seems like their opinion of me is pretty set in stone. But…if the rest of you find a way to feel alright with the situation we’re stuck in? Then I suppose that’s all I can hope for.” Ophelia paused, looked back ahead of her with a slight shrug. “I’m not even sure how I would go about explaining things to everyone.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

star-crossed-cass·:

Cass refrained from rolling her eyes at the former captain, shaking her head slightly. “I highly doubt any of them actually know you, since they haven’t had a chance. Hearing stories about you and from people and the way people remember how you were is completely different from who you actually are.” Labels that other people gave Ophelia wouldn’t define her if she didn’t let them, but in order to stop them from sticking to her, she had to make an effort. As to the hatred that her former lover and friend might feel for her, Cass couldn’t speak to that. She wouldn’t blame them, either, but she also didn’t know the whole story from both sides. Just because she couldn’t imagine leaving any of her loved ones behind to think she was dead didn’t mean it wasn’t what Ophelia saw as the best option. Cass trusted the people in her life to take what information she would give them and make smart choices with it, whether it meant following her or not. 

“It’s both, I think. It just depends on who you’re trying to blend in with at the time. Believe it or not, no one side is more green than the other, so to speak. Both have their flaws, both have their strengths. Neither one wants to compromise.” Cass shrugged her shoulders. It was just the way things were in life. Not just in the war. When Ophelia asked how Cass was, Cass turned her head slightly to study the captain’s face. Cass wasn’t feeling the effects of the captain’s prolonged disappearance the same way others were. There were a lot of different answers she could have given, as well. Ranging from ‘fine’ because she was able to straddle that social divide, to ‘miserable’ because Owen wouldn’t talk to her, to ‘tired’ because she often felt like there was an invisible weight upon her shoulders. She’d settled on, “I’m okay. Ups and downs here and there, but all things considered,” she paused to gesture to the ship as a whole, encompassing not only their new ‘home’ but also the current situation, “things could be worse. And you, Ophelia? How have you been?” 

Ophelia could have easily argued that knowing what she had done would be enough. And not just because of the blind loyalty almost everyone who joined the Alliance had for the people there but because even those who weren’t military, who weren’t Alliance? They tended not to be very fond of people who betrayed those who trusted them; of people who basically abandoned the people they cared about. And while her abandonment had been done out of love and not cruelty? She doubted that would matter. Not even to the people involved. But arguing that point just seemed a waste. The crew would think what they wanted about her regardless and beyond that her own crew no doubt had less than sparkling opinions of her these days. The only one she knew would probably never change their opinion about her was Rufus- but they always did have a sort of special friendship.

“For some compromise is as good as surrender.” The blonde let her gaze glance up and down the hall momentarily, eyeing the corridors and the people she could see vaguely walking past either end. “Some people from Themis had no problem with the Alliance. They consider themselves rather neutral. Like you and your brother. But some hate the Alliance with a passion that words can hardly describe. Compromising might feel like a betrayal of who they are.” As for Ophelia? Oh, she did hate the Alliance. That much she would never deny. It had made her feel like a monster while making her believe she had been fighting for the greater good. But the people? Well, she couldn’t say that she hated most of the people within the Alliance. Because most of them either felt like they were doing what was right or like the Alliance was the only place that would give them something they needed. What it was they needed varied from person to person and wasn’t for her to judge- but they found it there.

How had she been? The former captain contemplated the best way to answer that. There were a million ways it seemed like she could, a million things she could say and admit but none seemed right- or completely honest. “I’m managing,” she said after a moment, tucking her legs up to her chest and resting her arms on her knees, hands dangling. “I can’t say I ever wanted to be on an Alliance ship again. It brings up some things I’d rather not remember; I can’t say I know what to do around Orion and Lilith; I have some things back at home that not being able to get back to makes me…anxious. And…” Ophelia paused, shrugged in a rather weary way. "I’m not entirely sure how to speak to the Themis crew. Not because I don’t care for them or worry for them. My crew has always been my family. But this is my fault, us all being in this mess. How am I supposed to be around them all now?”

[ophelia-blackwell]

aleksanderwilsons·:

One of the things Alex had no idea what to think about what everything that had happened with Ophelia and Orion. He had purposely told Lilith he didn’t want to know anything beyond the basics of what had happened in the past, not until he felt he could handle it. It was difficult enough processing everything else. The last thing he needed was losing all respect he had for his captain on top of it. Then again, Ophelia wasn’t doing anything to help herself keep his respect with her current actions. Alex hadn’t seen her in what felt like forever, not really. They were all busy with their respective jobs, but the Themis crew still found a way to make time for each other and stay close during this difficult time. It was as if Ophelia was barely there anymore. There was nothing she could do that was more of a betrayal than leaving her crew without a leader. Lilith could hate her all she wanted, but Alex was the one that felt it more.

The only reason he had been going down that hallway was to get to the Themis doctor’s quarters in order to inspect something she had asked for help with, not to see Ophelia. It surprised him that she was out of her room for once. Despite his confusing and mixed feelings towards her, he was in a decent mood and didn’t feel like picking a fight. He wasn’t sure what she was doing sitting in the hallway writing in a notebook with no one else around. Alex stopped walking and gave her a small nod in greeting; it wouldn’t kill him to talk to her for a bit, see how she was doing. “Nope. Just running my rounds and everything.” What did Ophelia’s job even entail anymore? “So, uh, how’ve you been lately? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“No, no one has really. Except for Ru.” But that was because she and Rufus had always had a different relationship than she did with everyone else from the Themis. She loved them all, considered them all her family. But with Rufus it had always truly felt like they were always destined to be siblings. Blood be damned; Alliance and the Unity War be damned. His loyalty to her was unshakable and so it was really no surprise he was the one who stuck around her after everything. But it wasn’t as though she faulted the others for not coming around either. It wasn’t as though she had come to see them either. Turnabout is fair play and all that. How could she begrudge them for doing the exact same thing she had been?

“I’m…managing,” Ophelia answered after a moment, thinking about expanding on that but deciding against it. It was all too evident that Alex was simply being polite- a gesture which she appreciated though found entirely unnecessary. After all, he had made his opinion on her staying in her room quite clear and while she wasn’t upset with him for it or thought him trying to be cruel or unfair in what he had said? She didn’t think that there was any endearment for his former captain left inside of him after that conversation. She couldn’t deny that the part of her that loved them all was hurt by that notion but, well, it wasn’t like she didn’t bring that on herself. So she couldn’t be upset with him for it. “I don’t want to hold you up if you’re on your way somewhere, Alex. You don’t have to stay and chat with your former captain. I won’t be offended.” She paused for a moment, an appraising eye sweeping across him. “Are you adjusting alright though? To everything?” Maybe it wasn’t even fair of her to ask that anymore but somehow she couldn’t stop herself.

[ophelia-blackwell]

star-crossed-cass·:

Cass listened quietly for a moment, taking in the captain’s reasons for keeping to herself before she shrugged. She could understand not wanting to cause problems, but… “Perhaps by spending more time with them, you can prove to them who you really are, versus who they think you might be.” Yes, it would take courage and a certain amount of not giving a fuck what others thought, but she knew Ophelia was capable of both. There wasn’t much she could do from behind a closed door, but there was always the off chance that her efforts to help save the ship could be her saving grace. No one back home knew that Orion had taken the Themis crew on board. No one back home in the Alliance would be any the wiser if the Themis crew didn’t appear on their radar for awhile. 

Still, Cass wasn’t going to push the point. Eventually Ophelia would have to leave her room and interact more, and she might realize that a lot of these people didn’t actually hate her. Most of them didn’t have the capacity for it at this point in time, given almost everyone’s mind was focused on getting home. Cass let out an amused snort at the mention of Rufus’s social skills - or rather lack thereof. People probably weren’t very forthcoming with him, but she had no doubt he was still able to pick things up. “Easy enough.” Most of her life, especially that which she had spent on the Themis, had been spent straddling the line of several different parts of society. Cass never truly felt like she had a foot solidly in any one place. The only time she’d felt home, or like she belonged, was with her family - and anytime she’d been with Owen. “No one tends to look at me as being one ‘side’ or the other, no matter how I ended up here.”

“Oh, I think they have a pretty good idea of who I am.” But the question was which version they thought was closest to the truth or the strongest about her. Was she all they had heard she had once been at the Academy? In the Alliance? Or was she nothing more than a traitor, a deserter? That was the eternal question though, wasn’t it? She was all of those things and none of those things all wrapped up into one. Sometimes, even to Ophelia herself, she felt as though there was a dozen versions of herself all bouncing around inside of her waiting to fight it out and decide which one would reign supreme. “Most of them either hate me or don’t trust me. A few I can’t really blame for that. It might even be deserved. At least…Orion and Lilith hate me and I can’t fault them for that.” The blonde cocked her heads lightly to the side, shoulders rising and falling in a gesture that implied there was nothing to be done about that. “We were close once. The three of us. Though…I don’t know how much of Lilith and I being close was because we were close to Orion and how much was just us anymore. And then I left. So, they at least have every right to hate me. It isn’t easy to feel abandoned by someone you cared about, I’d imagine. Even if you believed you were doing what was best for them.” Not that she believed either of them would ever think that was the case. No, she reasoned they would merely hate her forever. And that was their right. She wouldn’t argue otherwise.

“I’m not sure if that’s harder or easier,” the blonde mused, lips momentarily pursing in thought as she contemplated that. “To be considered on neither side. I’ve been on both sides so I know what the grass looks like on either but.. I’d imagine in some ways it must be easier. No one expects you to have loyalties to only one person or group; no one expects you to hate the others without reason. But maybe that isn’t easier at all. What would I know about it?” O fell silent for a few moments before turning her full attention towards Cass. Back on Themis the two spoke as often as the former captain had been able to make time to. But since the ships combined? She couldn’t deny that she had been neglecting much of her interactions with the people she considered her family-a fact Cassandra’s brother so bluntly pointed out. She couldn’t deny there was a pang of guilt for that. “How are you though, Cass?” she questioned finally. “I haven’t been a very good captain- or commander now technically- and I should have asked a long time ago. I’m sorry for that.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

captain-orionqueen·:

“There is nothing wrong with being confident about your beliefs,” Orion stated in a serious tone.  The man tended to see the world in black and white, there was little room for a grey area. “There is not much I can do to persuade all those who hate the Alliance.”  People created their own world view and no matter the reasoning, if faced with opposition they lashed out.  It was on both sides, so Orion took little time to try and shift the minds of those who opposed the Alliance.

Orion watched Ophelia carefully, the body language said a lot and both of them attended the same trainings.  Only difference, Orion had always been uptight and found certain things difficult. It came with the expectation of upholding the family name.  To be the best and be expected to rise up in ranks at an early age.  All his life, he had only known one thing…the life of a military man in the Alliance and he clung to the life for dear life.

Slowly breathing in through his nostrils, he could feel himself becoming slightly flustered as she stepped closer towards him.  No matter how much he tried, the woman always managed to elicit a reaction out of him.  In school and even now, he could feel his body betraying him.  With her body directly in front of his, he held his breath as their eyes locked.  For a moment, he thought to lean in but when she spoke and his whole body became tense. “No one expects everyone to be a big happy family, but I do expect thereto be order.  There is one crew, regardless of everything and people need to start acting as such.  Ophelia you know the dire situation we are in.  You could use your position to help with the transition.  I am not asking much, I am only asking for unity as we all work together for the common good.”

He shook his head, “I do not expect anything Ophelia.  The Alliance has other matters on its hand.”  Rumors across Alliance space about Reavers and potential for another rebellion weighed heavily with the Alliance.  Orion knew a few things, things that were classified that he could not repeat to Ophelia…not even Lilith.  

“Do me a favor, Orion, and don’t insult me by acting as though I don’t understand the Alliance as well as you do. And do not assume you know more about the Alliance’s movements or what is going on in the galaxy than I do. I have been out there; I have been having to keep track of the Alliance’s movements to stay away from them. Don’t insult my intelligence- I have done nothing to insult yours.”

Without even realizing it with each word Ophelia moved herself closer to him, her body settling far too close to him, nearly touching; she could almost feel the energy vibrating off of him. It was disconcerting if only because it was far too familiar and far too comfortable when it no longer should be. But she pushed that thought as into the back of her mind as she could. “I never asked for that position. I never wanted it. You decided on your own to give me that position and you can try to justify it all you want with my military experience or with my relationship with my crew but I think we both know it was more than that. So let’s just address the elephant in the room, shall we?”

“You following me across the galaxy. You kept following me. And you could try to tell everyone it was because I was wanted by the Alliance but there are plenty of other captains out there. You could have left me to them. But you wanted to find me. And there’s a reason to that.” Her hands were too restless and she stuck them into her pockets to keep from touching him. What she would do if she touched him? That was still unknown. And better not to find out. “Love me or hate me- you wanted to find me. You wanted to be the one to do it. Because I left. Not because I left the Alliance or because I left the cause. But because I left you.”

“I left you.” Despite the charge and the energy in the room Ophelia’s voice dropped in volume, not quite a whisper but nowhere near as booming at it had been though the energy was still there, emotion simmering beneath the surface while she tried desperately to keep all that she felt at bay. “You loved me. And I left you behind.”

“You might never understand why I did what I did and that’s fine. But I did what I had to do. I couldn’t stay any longer. I knew too much about the Alliance to be able to stay and not hate myself. And I couldn’t tell you I was leaving. You would have tried to convince me to stay. And if you had succeeded I would have resented you. And if you hadn’t? Then you would have known something that could put you at risk with the Alliance. They would have done whatever they could to get information out of you. And they might have even thought you helped me or sympathized with me and we both know how they would have reacted if that was the case. So it was better if you thought I was dead. It would hurt but you wouldn’t be at risk. You could mourn and then you were supposed to move on. You were never supposed to know I was alive. And I’m sorry you found out that I wasn’t dead. Because I never wanted you to know or have to deal with that. I’m not sorry I left. I had to in order to live with myself. But I’m sorry you had to find out the truth the way you did. I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“And maybe you take it personally. Maybe you think it was an easy choice to make. Maybe you think everything we had between us was a lie, that I was faking it the entire time. Maybe you think a million things I’ve never even considered you might think or feel. But make no mistake- leaving the Alliance was easy. Leaving you? That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I kept you in the dark because I loved you. And you believing I was dead was better than you feeling like I wanted to leave you behind. You were the only reason I stayed as long as I did. Because leaving you was too damn hard and I had to force myself to let you go.”

“So, whether you love me or hate me- whether you wish I had died or not- lets stop pretending that we barely know each other. We loved each other, Orion. You were the love of my life and I left. And we can’t act like that doesn’t color anything about our relationship now. Because it has everything to do with it. And you can hate me for the rest of our lives if you want to- that’s your prerogative-but lets stop pretending none of that ever happened. Its exhausting and does neither of us any good. You always valued honesty so isn’t it about time we be honest with each other after all these years?”

[ophelia-blackwell]

rufus-thrace·:

“If I knew alcohol was in the cards, I would have stopped by sooner.” In reality, Rufus had been giving his friend space.  After the loss of part of their crew and the new adjustments, not to mention her having to be on the same ship as her ex he felt it was best to stand back and let her come out when she was ready.  Plus, Rufus been finding himself preoccupied a lot lately with a certain Virtus crewmember. “Thanks O, I always assumed I was but thank you for confirming.  Plus you got the nice room and probably a nice bed.  Might have to stop by and take a nap one day between shifts.”

It was strange; back on the Central Planets Rufus had a different life, a vibrant one with wealthy parents and a bright future.  Back then, he used to dazzle people with his smile and charm and now he more got on people’s nerves or tried to break their jaws.  It got to him at times though, wondering whether his parents even cared he disappeared…that The Themis left the orbits of The Alliance or was he still dead to them.  “Glad to know the tin man has a heart.  Now if we can only dislodge that stick from his ass, maybe he will be a real boy.  Well, if they ever tried to hurt you they would have to go through me.”

“I have no doubt you would steal all of the alcohol in my room in the few moments I was out. I know you too well to think otherwise,” Ophelia teased, both eyebrows raised as though daring him to deny that fact. “Hey, I wouldn’t even care if you hated your roommate and wanted to come in here and hang out for a while. We could have a good old-fashion sleepover. Don’t worry though. I won’t try to make some makeshift polish and paint your nails.” Though the mental image of her coloring his nails in some obscenely bright way was amusing as all hell? Even if she knew how to make polish? She absolutely wouldn’t do that to him.

“He has reasons to be the way he is. At least where I’m concerned. I’m positive that at this point he has nothing but hatred for me. And I can’t say that I blame him in some ways. I did basically abandon him. I did it for him but reasons don’t dictate emotions. And I suppose after being hurt? It would change a person. But other than that…well, I feel like there are a lot of things working there to make him the way he is. The way the Alliance expects people to be is also a huge part of it. I like to equate it to a hive mentality. They’re all the drones and the Alliance members are the worker bees. They are expendable but they are also the ones that have to do everything- and they can only follow what their bosses dictate. Very few break away.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

maverick-reynolds·:

The man knew not to expect anything, from the time he spent on The Themis he knew Rufus all too well.  Whether Rufus liked to admit it or not, he was driven by emotions.  Maverick neverminded seeing an Alliance officer getting knocked out, there was some satisfaction in it given everything that has happened in his life.  However, he tried to keep the peace at the bar.  The one place where everyone could gather and just have a few drinks, plus he preferred they took all that hostility to the underground fight ring. Then at least he could make some money off the fight as well.  “I have no doubts about everyone trying to get home, but what is the reality of the situation ma’am?  I am not giving up hope, I just don’t want to give myself false hope either.”

For a few moments Ophelia simply sat there, her lips pursed in thought as she contemplated the best way to answer. They all had things to get home to, people they needed to see and deal with; people they loved and hoped to see again. Even Ophelia, despite knowing where this would all end for her if they made it home, had something important to tend to back home before being carted off to jail. It was something she would have to eventually discuss with Orion but not something she could bring herself to at the moment. Some things were harder to discuss than others. “I’d like to say we’re going to get home easily,” the blonde finally began, choosing her words carefully. “In a perfect world I’d say give it a week or a month more tops and we’ll be home. But right now…we don’t know where we are or how to get home. It’s difficult and even if all of us were experts at navigating the universe…it would take a lot to get us out of this. I think we’re, unfortunately, in for a long, long trip. But I do have faith we’ll get home eventually. I wish I could be more comforting about this but better a sad truth than a happy lie.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

maverick-reynolds·:

“For some reason, I am not surprised.  Although, would you at least discuss with himnot to cause a ruckus in the bar.  Lasttime, I was trying to break things up and I got knocked down.”  Being knocked on his ass didn’t hurt as muchas his pride was being wounded that he needed help getting up.  The prosthetic had been giving in troublelong before the incident with The Themis, but coming from humble means meantnot getting the top of the line things.  “Ithink you might be right there,” he commented. Maverick was aware of the rumors circulating that there was relationsbetween Ophelia and the Captain, but he tried not to pry too much.  “The man just seems stressed from what I cantell and I hardly doubt Rufus is making things easy.”  He loved Rufus, but the man could be a pillat times.  “It is all good, I get todrink on the job…or maybe that is against the rules but who is going to tellon me?”  Maverick felt badly for Ophelia,things had to be difficult being in the midst of so much hatred.  “We’re all stuck out here; all we have iseach other.”  He looked at herquestionable, “do you really think we are ever going to make it home?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Ophelia knew better than to make any promises where that was concerned. She could talk to Rufus until she was blue in the face; she could beg him to behave; she could insist he try not to be such a hassle for Maverick. But when his temper got the best of him? There was little Ophelia could do to stop him or discourage him. But she could talk to him, at least. Maybe convince him to go a little easier on causing a scene that Maverick had to try to deal with. It was the least she could do. “I think Orion will try to get us back home. Maybe more for his own people than anything else but he’ll try. And though I can’t pretend I have the best relationship with his pilot…I knew her before I left the Alliance. Lilith is quite capable. She’ll do what she has to do in order to help him. So, best not to give up hope just yet. Though I don’t knowhow everyone else would feel about the idea of us only having each other. Not with so much bad blood.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

rufus-thrace·:

“Well, then what is the point ofkeeping you around?”  Rufus teased with aplayful smirk.  A curious brow lifted atthe mention of alcohol.  “You are tellingme you have had liquor this whole time and you did not invite me over?  And no worries, your secret is safe with mefor a price.”  Of course, Rufus was onlykidding.  The two of them had anundeniable bond and Rufus would never do anything to potentially harm it.

“You know what I say tothat?  Fuck ‘em!  Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.”  The complexities of the Unification War wassomething Rufus did not fully understand. At the time, he was younger and his family supported the Alliance as didhe.  After all, he was working to becomea doctor when a lot of this was taking place. There was no words, Rufus did not have any answers to t hissituation.  All he knew was that he had ablind loyalty to Ophelia, everything about the war he could care lessabout.  “I dunno, these fuckers arefucking annoying as hell.  But, fuck thealternative is the airlock or the brig.” When it came to work, he didn’t get the luxury of staying in hisquarters, he was forced to work with Malcolm Ellis and things between them gotheated.

“Like you’ve ever needed permission to come to visit me before,” the blonde countered, both eyebrows raised slightly as though challenging him to argue that point. It wasn’t as though back when they were on Themis he would suddenly barge into her roomlike it was nothing but he did come speak to her a lot. She wouldn’t expect that to change just because they were no longer on their ship. She would never want the relationship she had with him to change just because where they were changed. “You’re always welcome to come even if you don’t just want a drink. Even if you just want to talk, I’m always here. Even though I know you’re not that chatty.”

Ophelia nudged his shoulder with her own to let him know that it didn’t bother her that he didn’t talk all that much. Or at least that he didn’t always share. She had no doubt that if there was something she needed to know? Rufus would tell her without hesitation. Everything else he was free to keep to himself. Not because she worried he didn’t trust her- she knew he did- but because everyone was entitled to their privacy. And privacy was hard to come by in such close quarters. “Believe it or not, Captain Queen isn’t going to put you in the airlock. He’s Alliance military so he’s a stickler for rules but he’s not heartless- despite what you may think. He might not like you but he wouldn’t send you to your death for no reason. As for the others…well…let’s just say I don’t think either of us are their favorite people. And if it was a choice between you going into the airlock or me going in there? They’d prefer I go. So, I think you're safe, Ru.”

[ophelia-blackwell]

maverick-reynolds·:

Maverick simply gave a nod, before allowing the subject todrop.  Although, he did not fear thewrath of the Captain he certainly did not want to place the Commander in a compromisingsituation.  Things around the ship weretough enough, no need to stir the pot.  “Perhaps,but I know the people from The Themis would be glad to see your face more.  Ultimately, we are all stuck on this ridetogether.  Eventually, people will comearound.”  Not that Maverick would pushOphelia, he just knew eventually everyone will have to come to terms withthings and one of those things is a united crew to get them home.  “Does Rufus keep you informed on how muchshit he stirs though?”  A smile formed, “gladAlex had the balls to say something.” With her question, he took a moment to think about it.  With the exception of his brother being onboard, Maverick handled everything as well as he possibly could.  “Lucky me, I got a bum leg that I got to workas a bartender.  Apparently all mymilitary experience did not make me qualify for anything else.  But it does give me the opportunity to meeteveryone and make connections.  We areall in this for the long haul, might as well try to enjoy the ride.”

“Oh, Rufus knows better than to hide his misdeeds from me. I always find out. And I know him too well to think that he’s behaving himself.” For all the love she had for Rufus? She knew who he was; she knew his temper. In the years they had known each other she had never trusted a member of her crew more than she did Rufus, had never loved them as family quite as much as she did with him. But that also meant accepting who he was even if it meant saving him from a bad situation. Or even saving him from himself at times. “But at least I know Captain Queen won’t throw him out the airlock. As hard as he can sound at times there is a soft heart beneath all that. So Rufus can piss him off to no end but he’d still let him stick around.” Tapping her fingers against her empty glass Ophelia cocked her head to the side slightly as she listened to Maverick speak. “Might be a good thing. Alliance military life is extremely…well, it’s difficult. They’re far stricter than you can possibly understand.” Getting away from them had been the best move she could make. But it was for many reasons. The strictness was simply another reason to hate them. “Nice of you to look at the bright side there, Mav, but they won’t come around. I’m a traitor to the cause; I abandoned them and joined their enemies. Technically speaking I’m more of a criminal to them than you could ever be.” Ophelia winked at him playfully to let him know she was teasing and then kept going. “At the end of this journey home, dear Mav, I win a one-way ticket to jail. Perhaps I just want to spend what time I have left of freedom without dealing with the animosity.

[ophelia-blackwell]

captain-orionqueen·:

Orion was well aware of the hostile crewmembers questioning hisdecision in promoting Ophelia to Commander. Everyone had an opinion on his orders, his command, and many otherthings.  No matter the decision severalpeople were going to place it under scrutiny. “I know there are people on board not thrilled with my decisions,especially when it came to placing you as Commander.”  The male simply stated.

Slowly breathing in, he said nothing at the mention of theirclasses at the Academy.  Both knew Orionhad a memory like an elephant.  “Sadly,the Academy did not prepare the class for being in unknown space severallight-years away from home.  Regardlessthough, this was not two warring nations. The simple matter of it all is your ship blew up in the jump and minedid not and I extended a lifeline.”

He tried to maintain his composure, but when it came to the blondeshe had a way of getting to him, in more ways than one.  “Listen, I do not expect everyone to getalong.  The war cut through us allCommander and left deep scars across the board. However, in all of humanity when death becomes imminent, people evenenemies come together for the greater good.” Orion nodded, “actually I do see the problem Blackwell.  You are one of the biggest problems on thisship, not because of the war, not because you betrayed the Alliance.  It all boils down to the fact you still thinkthere are two crews and there is not. You continue to perpetuate the issue amongst everyone.  Instead of acting as a Commander, you havebeen holed up in your quarters not leading anyone.  The reason, I promoted you to Commander wasto help unite everyone.”

Sighing heavily, he nodded. “I understand people that came from The Themis were accustomed to acertain lifestyle, many of them not having any military experience.  However, I must treat everyone the same forthe sake of unity.  If I allowed thepeople that came from The Themis certain privileges and not others, it couldlead to anarchy.  Whether people like itor not, this is a military vessel and everyone on board will have some form of responsibility.”

“Once again you miss the point, Orion. But I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re always so sure. So convinced you know what things are and aren’t. What’s right and what’s wrong. The Alliance is good at convincing their people they know what’s best, what is true. Its no wonder so many people hate them so very much.”

Ophelia stood from her seat, all graceful movements, languid like a dancer though she had only ever danced for the sheer joy of it. For her the gracefulness all came from years of training. The Alliance had trained her to use her body as a weapon and in truth that meant using a lot of the same muscles that dancers did- just for different reasons. She had always excelled at those classes, at physical combat. These days she didn’t use those skills often, stuck to mostly weapons when the need arose- though she avoided using them as much as she could as well. Better to threaten than to actually make good on the threat.

Slowly, with great thought behind each move, Ophelia made her way closer to the man she had once loved. How strange it was to imagine that they had once considered a future, a family, a life together. Those plans she always kept bottled down when thoughts of him would inevitably  make their way to the surface. Thinking about what she gave up to serve the greater good was almost too much to handle. And while she couldn’t deny that there were moments when being close to him brought those feelings back up and affected her more than she cared to admit? She had always been a master at keeping her cool. This was no different.

Pausing directly in front of him O tilted her head so she could lock eyes with him and keep his gaze. “You’re a fool to think otherwise, Orion. And I never took you for a fool.” The blonde cocked her head slightly to the side as she continued to gaze up at him, her eyes still locked with his. He could try to avoid talking about their past if he wanted to, he could even refuse to use her name if he wanted to but she wouldn’t let his gaze leave hers. If he was going to play tough that way then so would she. “There is and always will be two crews. Just because we’re stuck in this situation it doesn’t mean we’re all suddenly going to be one big, happy family.”

“Need I remind you, Orion, that we are lost in space? Or do you honestly think the Alliance is going to come charging to the rescue? Because you’re in for a rude awakening if you think they’ve even considered looking for any of you.”