“Do me a favor, Orion, and don’t insult me by acting as though I don’t understand the Alliance as well as you do. And do not assume you know more about the Alliance’s movements or what is going on in the galaxy than I do. I have been out there; I have been having to keep track of the Alliance’s movements to stay away from them. Don’t insult my intelligence- I have done nothing to insult yours.”
Without even realizing it with each word Ophelia moved herself closer to him, her body settling far too close to him, nearly touching; she could almost feel the energy vibrating off of him. It was disconcerting if only because it was far too familiar and far too comfortable when it no longer should be. But she pushed that thought as into the back of her mind as she could. “I never asked for that position. I never wanted it. You decided on your own to give me that position and you can try to justify it all you want with my military experience or with my relationship with my crew but I think we both know it was more than that. So let’s just address the elephant in the room, shall we?”
“You following me across the galaxy. You kept following me. And you could try to tell everyone it was because I was wanted by the Alliance but there are plenty of other captains out there. You could have left me to them. But you wanted to find me. And there’s a reason to that.” Her hands were too restless and she stuck them into her pockets to keep from touching him. What she would do if she touched him? That was still unknown. And better not to find out. “Love me or hate me- you wanted to find me. You wanted to be the one to do it. Because I left. Not because I left the Alliance or because I left the cause. But because I left you.”
“I left you.” Despite the charge and the energy in the room Ophelia’s voice dropped in volume, not quite a whisper but nowhere near as booming at it had been though the energy was still there, emotion simmering beneath the surface while she tried desperately to keep all that she felt at bay. “You loved me. And I left you behind.”
“You might never understand why I did what I did and that’s fine. But I did what I had to do. I couldn’t stay any longer. I knew too much about the Alliance to be able to stay and not hate myself. And I couldn’t tell you I was leaving. You would have tried to convince me to stay. And if you had succeeded I would have resented you. And if you hadn’t? Then you would have known something that could put you at risk with the Alliance. They would have done whatever they could to get information out of you. And they might have even thought you helped me or sympathized with me and we both know how they would have reacted if that was the case. So it was better if you thought I was dead. It would hurt but you wouldn’t be at risk. You could mourn and then you were supposed to move on. You were never supposed to know I was alive. And I’m sorry you found out that I wasn’t dead. Because I never wanted you to know or have to deal with that. I’m not sorry I left. I had to in order to live with myself. But I’m sorry you had to find out the truth the way you did. I’m sorry you got hurt.”
“And maybe you take it personally. Maybe you think it was an easy choice to make. Maybe you think everything we had between us was a lie, that I was faking it the entire time. Maybe you think a million things I’ve never even considered you might think or feel. But make no mistake- leaving the Alliance was easy. Leaving you? That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I kept you in the dark because I loved you. And you believing I was dead was better than you feeling like I wanted to leave you behind. You were the only reason I stayed as long as I did. Because leaving you was too damn hard and I had to force myself to let you go.”
“So, whether you love me or hate me- whether you wish I had died or not- lets stop pretending that we barely know each other. We loved each other, Orion. You were the love of my life and I left. And we can’t act like that doesn’t color anything about our relationship now. Because it has everything to do with it. And you can hate me for the rest of our lives if you want to- that’s your prerogative-but lets stop pretending none of that ever happened. Its exhausting and does neither of us any good. You always valued honesty so isn’t it about time we be honest with each other after all these years?”
“You are looking for offense Ophelia; I have done nothing to question your intelligence.” As she eased closer to him, the normal composed man felt like he was about to crumble. Since their time at The Academy, Ophelia had this grasp upon him. Anyone from their past would claim Orion was under Ophelia’s spell and he would not deny it. Even now, he was under some trance when she was in the room even if he tried to hide it.
Anger began coursing through his veins at her words. “Those are the reasons I chose you,” he stated as a matter of fact. Then she mentioned addressing the elephant in the room and his lips tightened and his eyes narrowed towards her. “Stop,” he said in a lower voice not wanting her to continue. Yet, the blonde kept talking and he stood there clenching his jaw. “Not all my actions are centered on you, Ophelia.” Orion looked at her and sighed heavily, “And if you want to be completely honest, you wanted me to chase you. All this time you left me clues, left me things to follow you. Does your crew know how I found you? The reason I kept popping in just moments behind you all? Do not act as if I was the only one grasping at something.”
For once the two agreed on something, he did not understand her logic in leaving The Alliance. The woman had a high rank in the military, people who followed her into battle, but she also had him completely. Orion would have followed her anywhere in the known universe and currently that was living proof. “Do you hear yourself Ophelia? You faked your own death and nearly destroyed me and still you cannot even give me an actual explanation. You claim all these things about The Alliance, but here I am a decade later with no actual evidence of anything. The Alliance has given me a home, a job, a mission. And I truth be told, I am tired of this fight with you.”
Orion rolled his eyes, “stop speculating about what I thought or what I currently think about you. It does no good for either of us.” He smacked his lips, “you think us acknowledging our past will do us good? What good will it do? Right now, we are light-years away from home. By calculations we might not return for seventy years, hell we might not ever see home in our lifetime. All I requested from you is to act like an adult and be a leader. Asking you to step up does not mean we need to open the flood gates of our own past. I call you Blackwell in front of our people is because that is how I address everyone...by their last name or rank. As shocking as this may be for you, all I want is to run this ship in an orderly fashion and do right by our people.”