This neglected blog is a diary or something-maybe just for today.
I'm sitting on a concrete balcony on the 2nd floor of an apartment building in Austin, Texas right now. Far from home and staring at this light and not thinking about how bad I am at life right now. I mean I don't always know when a scooter is on my left right away, and I just got my 1st lyft ride yesterday, and fuck if I know what to do in an airport, so I'm pretty slow I think. But still it feels okay. Also there's a boy playing a guitar and singing a song to a girl just one floor below. I like the distance and the closeness of this place really.
Getting out of my regular environment / my usual way has been something that has felt like too heavy of a task, impossible even for so long. I don't really know how to articulate major depressive recovery and my fight against getting better. And I know this shit cycles and it can feel like too much but right now I feel okay sitting out here in the near dark by myself on this balcony in a city I know nothing about. It's just cold enough and no one even knows I'm in this exact spot in this exact moment.
If you're looking for it, I hope there's some sort of peace in store for you too, even in ways others might not understand.
