I CAN BE YOUR HERO

'Sup? I'm Sam Evans. Twenty-seven years old, and I'm a pretty decent record producer- I even own my own studio in Manhattan. I live in New York with my homie Blaine at the moment. The City College of New York alum. Currently separated from Rachel Berry. Samchel 1x1

[letoile-dor]

HOPE IS FOR THOSE WHO EXPECT

TW: FALSE PREGNANCY 

TIME FRAME: Flashback to May 2013

GENERAL NOTES: An excited Rachel goes to her first doctor’s appointment concerning her pregnancy… only to come out with some less than expected news.

“I think I’m pregnant…”

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[ordinaryevans-blog]

He lied.

"I'm-- I'm busy at work, with Blaine." Right through his teeth; right as he picked up the phone to talk to his wife, Sam Evans lied.

In actuality, Sam Evans and Blaine Anderson took the day off. Literally, the best friends cleared their schedules for today. Big names were pushed for tomorrow, small bands were postponed. This day was important.

As he stood in the middle of the department store, two carts filled with unnecessary items, the blonde paused. He tugged his cart to a halt, Blaine stopping right behind. "Sam? What's going on--"

Sam lifted a hand to pause his friend from talking. The sad and distraught wife on the other line had him completely frozen in time. There weren't too many times Rachel called him on the phone crying. Consider him surprised.

There was no baby, there was no pregnancy.

Tucking in his lips, Sam took a breath through his nose. "I'm coming. I'm on my way home." Even through the protest from Rachel, he didn't care. "Stop, it's gonna be okay. I'm... I'm on my way." 

Two carts sat in the middle of the department store, two guys with not a clue of what to do sat alongside them. Baby-proofing equipment, pregnancy books, maternity clothes and much more. It was early, he knew that, but now regretted not taking Blaine's warning.

A tear slide down from Sam's eye as he turned to Blaine slowly. The phone, the call now ended, brushed over the no-longer-daddy-to-be's vest. His eyes were sunken. He regretted this day. Where's the restart button?

"Rachel's not pregnant. I have to go. I have to..." His voice cracked, both words and guilt clogging his throat. Anxiety filled Sam so quickly, his breath sounds becoming irregular. Why did he do this to himself?

[ordinaryevans-blog]

FLASHFORWORD TO APRIL 2013. . .

"I think I'm pregnant.." 

The words rang through Sam's eardrums, and wouldn't fade. Not that he wanted it to anyway. This was glorious, after a month of "trying", it felt like a milestone. An accomplishment. Of course, he didn't take any consideration to the "I think" part. This felt real. It was going to happen. All their planning and all of their efforts, it was for this.

It'd been a while since Sam heard words that left him in a good mood, at least with Rachel. Not since "I love you too," did Sam buzz throughout the whole day. There'd been plenty of other words:

"Yes, I'll go out with you."

"Yes, I want to see you again." 

"Yes, I love Captain America."

"Yes, I'll go watch The Avengers with you."

"Yes, I'll marry you."

"I do."

"Fine, you can watch Pokemon."

"Yes, I love Black Widow."

"Yes, I want to have a baby."

So much, and Sam appreciated them. Every last one.

And through these milestones, the one person Sam confided in stuck around. Blaine Anderson had to be the most selfless person Sam knew. That's why they were best friends; business partners. Now, with this new progress report, the blonde had to share once again. Taking the guy into the city for a coffee, it didn't take long for Blaine to catch on.

Something was up, he could see all over his best friend's face.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" Blaine asked impatiently, wondering why his friend would wait until getting to the coffee stand before talking. Once they received their coffee orders, he stepped to the side and waited on Sam to break said news.

"Oh, right.. right." Sam replied nervously, taking a deep breath in before having a quick sip of coffee. "So ...You remember this cart, right?"

Blaine creased his eyebrows. "Am I supposed to?"

Dropping his jaw, the blonde slapped his outer thigh in disappointment. "Dude-- C'mon. This coffee stand!"

Maybe his memory was bad, or Sam remembered too much, but Blaine was lost. Shifting his eyes, he squinted slightly. "I'm not sure I'm following Sam..."

Which was unfortunate because this block, this corner held so much significance to Sam. It held more value than any card collection he could hoard; any record he could produce. Pressing his lips together, he huffed lowly. "This is the cart we visited when I told you I was gonna marry Rachel, man."

Finally, Blaine recalled the memory. To him, it wasn't exactly something memorable. Not to sound selfish or egotistical, but it didn't pertain to him; it was his memory to hold, it was Sam's. "Ohh..." He made the noise, slurping in some coffee as nodded along. "Do you think this coffee is good luck or something?"

Sam hadn't thought of it like that before, and tilted his head. A smile instantly popped on his chubby cheeks, grinning happily as he accepted that thought. "You know what, it is. It kind of is. Because I told you that I was gonna ask Rachel to marry me right here. We stood right here and what do ya' know? Rachel and me are married! So.. maybe it is good luck." The cheerful boy explained, sucking in air as he tried to regain his original thought. "We're trying for a baby, man." It blurted out quickly, and Sam had no intention of making that happen so fast, but he did it and didn't regret it.

Blaine's eyes widened, mostly surprised at how soon this would be. Rachel and Sam knew each other all of one year, maybe a little more, and to hear that they want to take this route shocked him. "Ohh.. Wow... man.. Wow.." He tried to sound happy, but the tone didn't register. Just like Sam's idea of marriage after a short exclusive relationship, this wasn't a good idea. Sure, he's proved otherwise, Rachel and Sam were still married. But a baby? Blaine wasn't very sure. "I... Wow man. Seriously, that's... so great."

And once he heard Blaine, Sam's smile dropped. This didn't surprise him either, just like the guy's opinion of marrying Rachel, he would be against this too. Sighing deeply, he clenched his jaw. "Yeah, I can hear it in your vice, obviously this isn't great." Sam shook his head. "What is your problem with Rachel?"

"What? What? No... No, I have no problem with Rachel. This isn't about Rachel. She's a nice girl, and I like her." Blaine explained, hoping to erase whatever notion he gave his friend. "This is about you, Sam. This-- I disagreed with the marriage, but I supported you. I was there, I was your best man." Biting at his lip, he heaved a breath and looked around. "A baby? A child? Are you... Is that really what you want? Right now?"

Sam nodded eagerly, with no hesitation. "I'm gonna be a good dad, Blaine. I'm gonna... I'm so ready. And we're... There's no else I wanna be with, no one else I wanna do this with. She's the one for me. I'm in love with her." Scratching his hair, he shook his head in disbelief. "I thought you'd be happy for me, man. I thought..."

"I am happy, come on. I'd never knock your dreams, and I think you'd be a great father as well!" Blaine grabbed the other guy's arm sympathetically. "I'm.. Are you really sure, man? At least... This isn't something out of the whim, right?"

Sam nodded again. "Dude... She's pregnant." Which wasn't confirmed or denied at the moment, but the guy just wanted to give his friend something. Telling Blaine she only thinks she's pregnant didn't sound like a good confirmation. He had to tell him something with hold.

And it did just that. Blaine's eyebrows furrowed, his face softening quickly. "Really?"

"Yeah, man... She told me this morning." 

Pulling his friend in for a hug, Blaine smiled to himself, accepting the news as good. "This is great, okay? I'm... I'm really happy for you. Congratulations." Despite his own opinion, he would always support Sam. That was his friend, and friends didn't judge. Had this baby been unplanned, Blaine would protest and double check, but this would be a wanted child. And he was right, Sam would make a good father. Even if seemed rush, Sam wouldn't mess this up.

[ordinaryevans-blog]

I LOVE YOU THIS BIG

TW: NONE

TAGGING: Rachel Berry and Sam Evans

LOCATION: Samchel's apartment

TIME FRAME: Flashback to February 2013

GENERAL NOTES: After great news and a big paycheck from his company, Sam becomes inspired by the life changes. With all the good things surrounding him, he springs up a big request on his wife, Rachel.

Sam couldn't believe how far he'd come in his life. It was a dream come true, for the most part. With a beautiful wife, a business with his best friend, and now his first paycheck? After months of establishing his brand, Sam couldn't help but feel like he's made it. And while Rachel was away at work, the blonde was home early whipping up a special, personal, dinner. After months of living with his wife, he was becoming well versed to the Kosher diet (and liked it, but wouldn't admit it aloud). Sam didn't cook, of course, he just ordered from Rachel's favorite restaurant. And while he waited, he cleaned the house up to give the ambiance a care-free vibe. He had something important to tell her, something outside of his career goals.

Rachel was so excited when she saw her apartment building come into her line of vision. After a long day of singing, dancing and serving hungry restaurant goers, she was honestly ready to curl up on the couch and wait for her husband to arrive home. This was not how she saw her life going in high school but Rachel could admit that she was happy, really happy being married to the love of her life. Love always concurred all. After climbing a couple flights of stairs, the brunette yawned as she dug around her purse for her keys only to be surprised that the door was unlocked as she proceeded inside. “Sam? Are you home?” She called out as she tossed her belongings to the side and slide out of her shoes to free her achy feet.

Sam was in the kitchen, fiddling with a wrapped present he planned to give to Rachel when they sat down for the talk he wanted to have, when his wife's voice echoed through their spacious apartment. Quickly shoving the gift into the dish washer (impulsively, of course.) Sam headed toward the woman looking for him. "I am," He replied, now that they were nearly face-to-face. Giving her a small, sheepish, wave he approached her slowly. "I, uh, got out early. Left all the fun business stuff to Blaine, 'cause better with numbers than I am." Sam explained nervously. Now in front of Rachel, he happily pressed a gently kiss on her lips. "How was your day? You hungry?"

Rachel ‘s face lite up once a familiar face came into her line of vision, especially with the wave that he’d given her it was hard not to smile at the cute blonde. “I can’t say that I’m not pleased that you left all the ‘fun’ business stuff to Blaine, I’m just glad to see you home before me.” Rachel said happily before his lips were gently upon hers, something she’d never get enough of was the gentleness of his kisses but then again she couldn’t get enough of him period. “My day was okay, long of course but okay. And I’m starving actually, what’s for dinner?” She asked as she intertwined both her hands with his as she started to slowly move towards the kitchen.

Sam beamed brightly. There was something about seeing Rachel happy that made him light up like a Christmas tree. She was the love of his life, which probably had a lot to do with his mood and the way he acted around her. "He'll be okay, don't worry about it... He knew I had a goal, which was to beat you here." Sam informed her on their way to the kitchen. The oven was set low to keep the ordered food heated to a good temperature while he waited for Rachel's arrival and as they settled into the area, Sam went into the oven to retrieve the food. "Your favorite! That sweet little Kosher spot on 49th? I got your usual." He explained as he plated some of the food for both of them and put said plate in front of her. "I would've cooked but... y'know... I'm working on it and I didn't want to ruin tonight's news with gross, burnt, dinner, so."

Rachel chuckled as she shook her head, she knew Blaine wouldn’t mind but in the back of her head she could see him mumbling under his breath about this. “Well, mission accomplished.” She announced before the smell of food filled her nose and caused her mind to go blank for a moment. She pondered what the smell was, although there was a hint of something that she could probably eat all day every day if given the opportunity to. “Awe, that’s so sweet of you!” Rachel cooed as the plate of food was sat in front of her, her stomach growling its approval as she sent a smile his way. “It’s the thought that counts but this is great, thank you-“ She paused for a moment as her eyebrows furrowed before she tilted her head to the side. “News? What news?”

Sam watched the girl swoon over the meal. If only it had been something he personally made, the blonde would've felt boastful and full of pride. Either way, he was happy to see her ready to chow. Pulling some forks out, he passed one to Rachel and nodded. "You're welcome," He replied, clearing his throat as he heard her question. The nerves began to rumble inside of him, but his excitement cancelled out his hesitation. "Well..." He started as he rummaged around the kitchen for drinks, wine for Rachel and a beer for him. "You know how we've had some artists come through the studio, right? Well, let's just say... we got our first rent check from that one band we've been working with." Sam explained, slowly pulling a transaction receipt from his back pocket and sliding it to Rachel. "$3,000. And according to them, there's more where that's coming from. Plus the three other artists we're producing."

Rachel immediately took the fork once it was handed to her, she knew she should have waited but it had been a while since she’d had this dish and to be greeted with this and her handsome husband, she couldn’t have asked for anything else. Once he started to speak the brunette kept listening as she focused her attention on the foo din front of her. That was until he slide a receipt her way and her chewing got a little slower out of curiosity. “Seriously?” She questioned excitedly as she dropped her fork and picked up thepiece of paper to examine it with a wide smile. “Oh my God,” she whispered as she licked her lips while placing the receipt down. “Oh my God! This is… this is incredible, Sam!” Rachel exclaimed. “Coming from nothing to something and preparing for more? Do you know what this means? You’re officially on your way!”

Sam felt even more excited about everything when Rachel expressed how proud she was. When they first met, Sam was barely making $300 a week and to know she stuck by him this entire time really felt.. surreal. "We're on our way," He corrected her simply, a bigger grin on his face. "We're on our way and we're gonna have everything." Moving from behind the counter, he headed toward Rachel and took her into his arms.

Rachel felt like everything was finally coming together, maybe $3,000 was nothing to half the people that walked around New Yorkbut for them this was a milestone and Rachel couldn’t be happier for Sam. She beamed as he took her into his arms and her own instantly wrapped around his torso, glad he corrected what she had said. “You’re right, we definitely are and I’m so so so so proud of you, honey.”

Sam nodded slowly, placing a light kiss on the top of her head then one on Rachel's lips. "Thanks, babe, I'm pretty stoked right now and everyone's happy. Blaine's getting half and all that, but just imagine when the bills are bigger? We're gonna have tons of money and I'm just- I feel good. I feel ready for everything. I feel-" He hesitated, and now that that part of the conversation was out of the way, his heart thumped loudly. A part of him was choking on the words he really wanted to express. "I feel like..." As he started again, he looked at the dishwasher then at Rachel again. "Close your eyes."

Rachel could only imagine what they could do when the money started to come in larger amounts. She didn’t get crazy with her imagination but seeing him this excited made her even more excited and happy for his career. She shook herself out of her thoughts once he hesitated, she pulled back slightly to examine his face as she started to talk again but stopped. The brunette arched an eyebrow up once he told her to close her eyes, closing them slowly upon demand. “Sammy, if you’re proposing again I must inform you that you cannot have a do over. We’re already married.”

Sam laughed breathlessly, scoffing some as she spoke. "Ha ha, very funny." Sam was definitely a little bit air headed at times, but knew that he couldn't ask Rachel to marry him again. "I would if I could, since that wedding party was off the hook, but I know it's not possible." Shaking his head, he slowly pulled the dishwasher open and grabbed the tiny wrapped present. He pursed his lips, biting back a wide smile. "I know we've only been married a short amount a time... and I know we've been together for a bit too but... I know I want to spend my life with you. In, like, every way possible, so." Sliding the surprise toward Rachel, he let out a low breath and took a step back. "Open your eyes."

Rachel let out a happy sigh as she reminisced on the wedding and the reception, and maybe she was biased but they had one of the best weddings. No questions asked. “If only,” she whispered as she kept her eyes shut. Listening to his brief speech, Rachel worried her bottom lip in between her teeth as her mind raced with the possibilities of what could be waiting for her when she opened her eyes. A kitty? A puppy? Barbra Streisand? She blinked as she opened her eyes, giving Sam a smile before looking down at the tiny present. She hesitated for a moment before unwrapping it, her heart racing as she slowly revealed what it was. Tiny little booties, not even that but Captain America which Rachel only knew about because Sam’s love for the movies and comics. A tearful smile rose upon her face as she traced them before looked back at her husband. “Sam, I… is this? Really?”

Sam watched her reaction and waited eagerly for her to say something. Maybe it was too soon? Or perhaps not an option right now? They've barely done anything really couple-y, besides being married and getting a place together. They weren't minimalists or anything, Lord knows that would never be a word to describe Rachel. But to Sam, he felt good about this. He wanted this and knew she had to too. "I'm not getting any younger, y'know? I'm... not old, but I wanna have a baby, yeah." Sam nodded nervously. "Wh-Why... too soon?"

Rachel just moved her gaze down towards the tiny shoes in her hand, processing what he was saying to her. Of course she wanted kids; she wanted to give him everything he wanted and more. Keeping quiet for several moments, Rachel pictured the sounds of little feet running around them as they sat around. “No, no” she answered his question with a shook of her head once she finally looked back up again. “Let’s have a baby, let’s do it.”

Sam almost had a mini heart attack when he heard Rachel reply, 'No, no.' His lips trembled nervously. Maybe this was too soon, or too fast. He knew that they were good, they were happy, this only seemed like the next natural step, right? However, when Rachel agreed to having a baby, the biggest feeling of relief fell over him. "Wait- Really?" He had to double check this was really happening. "Like, really, really?"

Rachel couldn’t help but giggle at Sam’s reaction to her response. “Yes, really!” She exclaimed excitedly as she bounced up and down on her toes. “We’re not getting any younger and we already know the plan, let’s do this Sam.” Rachel knew this was what she wanted for the rest of her life, a family that they could call their own and if now was their moment she wasn’t going to say no to taking the chance. “Let’s have a baby.”

Sam didn't even bother to hold back his excitement, he was in love and wanted nothing more than Rachel as the mother of his children. This girl was his soulmate, and as she beamed at the idea of mothering, the blonde only grew more excited. Pulling her into a strong embrace, Sam shook his head as he looked down at her. "I... This is really gonna happen..." Words escaped Sam as he stared into his wife's eyes. "I love so you much."

Rachel ‘s excitement went into overload just seeing how happy her husband was about her answer. Their story may not be as fantastic or dramatic as others but it was theirs and to her it was perfect. As he pulled her into his embrace, the brunette lovingly looked up at Sam. “It is; it really is.” She whispered as her smile spread over her face as their eyes connected. “I love you so much too, Sam Evans.” And with that she pushed herself up closer to him to place her lips upon his own.

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel: [It took everything inside Rachel not to tell him that he shouldn’t have to tell his sister, they shouldn’t be in this predicament now and to tell him to just come home but she stopped herself, she had to.] “That’s understandable… it’s not an easy subject to discuss.” [She should know, it was hard for her to even let her closest friends know or anyone at that because it wasn’t their business or for the fact that it didn’t feel right. She especially had that painful gut feeling as she pictures Stacey’s face afterwards, it felt like she’d taken the whole world and crushed it over the young woman’s heart. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat as she started to pack her stuff up to prepare for another shift.] “N- no problem, Sam. Anytime… that is if she ever wants to see me again.” [She couldn’t imagine seeing her ex-extended family again but by the looks of everything that’s what everything was leading to.] “Be patient with her."

Sam: [Being held up with whatever strength he had left in him, Sam kept his eyes shut tightly. He felt anxious, but also like he wanted to throw up. There was no way to salvage any of their relationship despite really wanting to. It's all he said, but it's apparent that they're divorced for a reason. This was right, right?] "Yeah... Listen, I gotta-- I'm gonna hang up now..." [Rachel would have to be an idiot to not hear the cracking of the boy's voice, his nose stuffy from holding back everything.] "Enjoy the rest of your day, okay?" [And just like that, Sam removed the phone from his ear as he allowed his body to plop to the ground. Holding his knees, the blonde let out a loud groan. He wanted to cry, call her back and beg for a re-do... But knew he couldn't.]

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel: [A sigh escaped past her lips as she nodded her head in agreement, he could see it but she didn't think they'd get to this point either.] "Yeah, here we are." [She mumbled, it was hard to believe they were a happy couple so long ago. That it was just them against the world but now it was her, him and the world against them.] "You didn't come in between my dreams, Sam. You didn't. I came between my own dream and that's not selfish..." [It wasn't selfish because she wanted him but she wanted Broadway too, now that was selfish of her.] "It's okay, I understand why you didn't tell her and I should have taken that into consideration when I was talking to her or when said yes to going to dinner with her." [She paused after that, taking a moment to wipe her face and soak in all the emotions that were going through her at once.] "Try talking to her, even if it's in front of a closed door. Stacey loves you unconditionally, hearing your side of things could make her feel better."

Sam: [Sam couldn't help but become completely lost in the way Rachel breathed. It was the little sounds she made that made him miss her the most. The small, audible, sigh she expressed took him back to their first night together; the night she slept over. Shaking his head, he tried his best to contain his nostalgia. Remembering those things would break him down easily.] "Don't take the fault, alright? She's my sister, and I should've told her. But I didn't have the courage to... I still don't." [Peeping inside from the porch, he watched as Stacey plopped herself back onto the couch to watch her favorite daytime talk shows. She seemed better than when he left her, but he wouldn't take a chance on talking to her right now. The Evans weren't big believers in divorce, so he knew that eventually it'll all have to come out.] "Yeah, I'll try." [Which was a lie, he didn't have any intention of speaking to her until his parents came to drive them back to Ohio.] "Thanks, um, again? Just.. thanks for seeing her."

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel:[The conversation was wearing on Rachel and she knew Sam was far from happy with her just by his tone. She knew her words seemed harsh but they weren't intended to be. She didn't want to sugar coat anything for Stacey, she was old enough to not be lied to but still she knew she could have went about it in a different way.] "Exactly, Sam! /You/ filed for divorce, not me! You! What else was I supposed to think? When you serve someone divorce papers that doesn't give them a positive sign that things are going to be okay!" [The brunette roughly wiped the tears from her face as she inhaled and exhaled deeply to keep herself from full on crying. That wouldn't help the situation at all.] "I know the plan, and you knew since day one that I wanted more than anything to have kids and live comfortably. I wanted that! I still want that but I want Broadway too. I thought I could have both that you would wait for me and support me." [But this words had already done the damage, "hopes of pan postponement." It was like she was listening to every glimmer of hope float away.] "I'm..." [She stated off saying, she couldn't possibly tell him she was struggling to keep waking up with a brave face when she knew she wasn't going to get a call back. She couldn't tell him how miserable she was or how hard it was to keep paying bills with her low salary income or that she missed him and wanted him to come home.] "That's not fair, Sam. That's not fair at all." [She whispered, she could say that a thousand times but she knew what she was doing to him wasn't fair either but she selfishly wanted her childhood dream and a happy marriage as well.]

Sam: [He just knew it. Shutting his eyes tightly, he listened to his estranged wife tell him everything he didn't want to hear.] "I didn't think we would've gone through this. I didn't think we would've gone through with the divorce, but here we are, y'know?" [The initial call was for Stacey. He wanted to know what hurt his little sister so much, but now that he was in this conversation with Rachel it was easy to see this discussion was much more for him. How selfish.] "I've never wanted to come between you and your dreams for Broadway, Rach. And... I don't want to be your back up either. Maybe that's selfish and unfair, but all I've ever wanted was you." [Tucking in his lips, he glanced around the neighborhood after feeling a tear trail down his cheek. Sam quickly caught with the pad of his thumb, taking a deep breath.] "And... I'm sorry for putting you in that spot, with havin to tell Stacey. I shouldn't have done that but- I guess a part of me was kinda hoping for a different outcome." [Shrugging to himself, the blonde licked over his lips nervously. This was not in the cards and he hated it so much.]

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel: [Tears clouded her vision as she listened to his voice. She couldn’t lie and say she didn’t miss hearing it or just seeing him in general. They could be lying in dead silence and she’d love it, his presence made her happy but now… well now she didn’t know, it didn’t feel the same anymore.] “It wasn’t… I didn’t mean for it to come off like I didn’t care, it wasn’t easy telling her or seeing her angelic face melt.” [She admitted and his voice over the phone wasn’t making this any better for her. Sure she clearly chose her career over their marriage but in her mind how could she make someone happy if she wasn’t fully happy herself?] “Sam…” [Her voice barely audible as she shook her head, trying to keep herself composed.] “Of course I love – I loved you. I would have never married you if I didn’t, how could you say that?” [His words hurt; they slapped her right in the face as she stared at the white wall in front of her. Even if it was her lunch break she was no longer hungry as her throat got tighter and tighter.] “You can’t keep twisting this and making it sound like this was all my fault. That’s not fair and it wasn’t all for nothing, I meant everything I said in my vows.”

Sam: [Despite her switch up, Sam was hurt. He didn't believe that she didn't mean what she told Stacey. Not one bit. They weren't false, maybe it was time to let go of the false hope of getting back together. Rachel would never be the type to just run back to him, he needed to get that through his head.] "I don't want an explanation for what you told my sister. I-- I get it." [Sam placed his free hand on his head and sighed. He didn't want to cry through this conversations; he'd done enough of that months ago.] "Keep twisting? What? What am I twisting, Rachel? I filed for the divorce, that didn't mean you had to go through with it! I wanted kids! We both did! We had a plan and we were gonna rock that plan together. And you.... you still had your own plans. For yourself. And /ours/? Ours... they got put on hold." [Sucking in air, Sam wiped his eye quickly before a tear could push its way out.] "Yeah, for better or worse, and hopes of plan postponement. I'll read the fine print next time." [She loved him, but he loves her. It hurt, and it broke his heart. But reality hurt and it cut like a knife.] "Can you answer this for me... Where are you now? Tell me where you are, and I'll tell you what you'll always love most."

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel: [Immediately she felt her face heat up with anger and her heart began to race because she knew this was going to lead into yet another argument between them. However when he stopped himself, she was just about to tell him to go ahead and continue because apparently their divorce was all her fault in his eyes. After taking a deep breath, Rachel shook her head as she poked around with her veggie burger.] “I didn’t say much and I didn’t place the blame all on you.” [She ended that with a snappy tone but quickly recovered herself once she continued.] “The conversation started off good, she told me about where she wanted to go to college and what she wanted to do. We talked about where I worked and then she saw that I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring…” [She paused as she swallowed the lump in her throat as she replayed the memory, seeing a crushed young woman in front of her clearly.] “She asked and I told her that we-we’re separated. She asked me if I thought we would get back together and I… I told her that wasn't going to happen. She just kept saying ‘no, no, no’ over and over again, that this wasn’t possible and that we’re soul mates and her inspiration. She started crying after that and… honestly I don’t think there’s anything you can say to her to make it better.”

Sam: "Crap.." [Every word from her sent a knife through his heart. One by one, pieces of his heart fell to the ground. The reality of their situation becoming unavoidable. It felt like October of 2013 all over again. Sam felt like he'd almost stopped breathing for a moment, especially when Rachel admitted to not wanting to get back together. Maybe they wouldn't; maybe they'd never be anything more than two people held together by a system that won't let love die. He wished it weren't true... He wished to have heard a crack in her voice, or even a sentence dropped. But it seemed like every word, from beginning to end, was meant.] "Wow..." [Sam was at a lost for words of his own, his eyes began to swell and he eventually looked up to avoid his tears.] "You know, I definitely can see how that would've hurt her, y'know? I mean... hearing it myself... Yeah. [Shaking his head, he placed a hand on his hip and paced back and forth on the stoop. The resentment laid thick in his throat, and it cracked as he spoke again.] "Did you-- Did you even love me at all? Was our marriage just one long date to you? I think I just gotta know now. I mean we're doing all this therapy, and now I'm finding out that it really is for nothing, huh?"

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel: [It took everything Rachel had inside of her not to hang up the phone in his face, but instead the brunette kept her composure.] "That's your Name, Sam jeez." [She replied with an eye roll as she waited for him to continue on because she surely knew he didn't call her to tell her that he missed her or anything of the sort.] "What are you talking about?" [Rachel snapped back as she looked up to see her co-workers still peeking, with her jaw clenched tightly she turned in the hopes they'd lose interest.] "If you're talking about my dinner with Stacey, how in the world was I suppose to know she didn't know? Better yet, why would you put me in that predicament if you knew you didn't tell her!"

Sam: "Don't-- I'm not taking the whole blame! There wouldn't be a divorce if you hadn't--" [Sam stopped himself abruptly, refusing to make this about them. Sure, their disagreeing had a lot to do with their separation. Sure, Sam should've told Stacey the truth. But he could barely admit the truth to himself, how could he ever communicate it to his sister too? Biting back his tone, Sam took a minute before starting up again.] "She won't talk to me, Rachel. She won't-- I don't know what to say because I don't know how the conversation went and I-- I need to know. I need to know how to talk my sister... but I-I can't because you-- because of you. I don't know what you said that upset her this much."

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Rachel: [Since her dinner with Stacey, Rachel had been on edge. She filled her day with everything she could, dance lessons, a vocal lesson and a double shift at the diner in order to get the conversation out of her head. It was a hard one for her, she loved (loves) Sam, especially his family so to break the news to her sister-in-law (ex) was the most devastating thing she could do. However, Rachel was furious at Sam. How could he not tell his sister? The petite brunette thought he shared everything with his sister and brother so how was she supposed to know that Stacey didn’t know. Rachel tried to move past the awful look on Stacey’s face when she told her about the separation, the complete opposite of what her face looked like the day her and Sam said their I do’s. Shaking her head, she looked down at her phone while she was on her lunch break, her breath caught in her throat once she saw his photo and name flash across her screen. She hadn’t even bothered to change his screensaver or the little hearts by his name but that would change after this.] “Samuel. What can I help you with?” [She answered as calmly as possible, watching some of her co-workers peek around the corner as if they thought she couldn’t see them trying to listen in.]

Sam: [Without a blink, the blonde boy rolled his eyes. Just the way she answered grated his nerves.] "Don't you 'Samuel' me. [Clenching his jaw tightly, Sam took one more glance around the room and quickly noticed Stacey had made her way into the living room to browse the internet on her laptop. He remained quiet for only a minute before making his way onto the front stoop from his living room.] "What did you do? Better yet, should I ask by you hate me so much?" [The anger in him kept him vague, but steam was coming from his ears and there was no way he could form proper sentences.]

[ordinaryevans-blog]

→ INSTAGRAM: @IAmSamEvans uploaded a photo. 

are #tbt allowed with ex wives? #toolate

[ordinaryevans-blog]

PHONE CALL ☎ SAMCHEL

Sam: [Needless to say, the blonde boy had fumes coming from his ears. Sure, for no good reason, it's not like this was anyone's fault but his own for not telling Stacey about his separation from Rachel. Did Rachel really have to go and tell her /everything/ though? It'd been almost 48 hours since Sam heard a peep out of his little sister, and when she finally spilled the beans about knowing the truth about his relationship, the devastation in her eyes couldn't have harmed the guy any worst. Without even letting him explain, Stacey slammed the bathroom door shut and has been in there for almost. Desperate for answers, Sam quickly presses a few keys on his phone before dialing Rachel's number (which could've easily been accessed had he just gone to his speed dial, but refused to take a short cut to acknowledge her status which was still so high on his list of people) and hoping she had time to talk.] "You better pick up, Rachel Berry..."

[n-j-d-deactivated20151005]

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God have mercy on the man Who doubts what he’s sure of

[ordinaryevans-blog]

CHAT ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: I suppose. I'm not going to punish her for our decisions.

Rachel: That's perfect, 6pm is perfect,

Sam: Yeah exactly. Totally.

Sam: Alright, I'll see you then.

Sam: Not me. Her.

Sam: She'll see you then.

[ordinaryevans-blog]

→ INSTAGRAM: @IAmSamEvans uploaded a photo. 

Checkin out the open mic scenes over here at #sidewalkcafe with these 2 clowens @StevieGee & @Stacey2cute

[ordinaryevans-blog]

CHAT ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: No, no. Stacey is still like a sister to me no matter what the situation is.

Rachel: I'll have dinner with her, it'll be my pleasure.

Sam: Awesome... That's seriously really awesome of you.

Sam: I'll drop her off say.... 6pm?

[ordinaryevans-blog]

CHAT ✉ SAMCHEL

Rachel: Oh, that's wonderful.

Rachel: She wants to see me? Really?

Rachel: Not that that's a problem or anything, of course. I'm always available for her.

Sam: Yeah.... I don't know....

Sam: I mean you don't have to. Really, it's fine if you don't or anything.

Sam: But she just wants to have dinner with you, see you and stuff.