Orgasmic Sweet Potato

Orgasmic Sweet Potato is a body-positive, web-based comic about diversity, polyamory and orgasmic living. Orgasmic living is defined as living in ways that support health, well-being and orgasm. The comic is written by Cat Bea and illustrated by Aaron...

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In recovery…

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<3 for all the spoonies <3

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Coming Out

So today I made my website live for the book I’m writing about the 20 years I spent as an escort.  I was never the Pretty Woman kind of sex worker.  I was the mousey, “conversation” girl.  That was what my first agency wrote on the 3″ by 5″ index card that had my measurements, age, height, and hair color on it.  BUSTY, RED HEAD, CONVERSATIONS.  I had some pretty awesome conversations.  

I remember one with this drunk diabetic doctor who did Vedic Astrology in his spare time.  He was like, “the biggest decision you’ll ever make is whether the world is for you or against you.”  I remember it because at the time I thought the world was against me.  I had a shitty boyfriend that shamed the fuck out of me.  I’d spent the last 12 months in the 12 steps getting the courage to leave him, and now I was in a five star hotel suite with a grabby drunk doctor who tried earlier in the evening to pay me in shoes he bought at Marshalls.  

It could be worse.  Of course it could be worse.  It could be a LOT worse.  That itself made me wake the fuck up.  This doc was sharing a little piece of wisdom at the time I least expected it.  That’s one thing I absolutely love about escorting.  Anything can happen.  And, it’s surprisingly almost always good. For me at least.  I know that isn’t everyone’s experience.  That alone makes it book worthy.

If you like deep shit escorts say, there’s more on my website www.theconsciouscourtesan.com

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“Dear Conscious Courtesan, Have you been the victim of slut shaming, and if so, what do you do about it?”

When I hear this question I almost instantly reframe it as this: What can I do about my own irritation at being judged and shamed?

There is nothing I can do about what other people think or say or do. People are free to have whatever opinions they want.  I value freedom.  I’m not going to try to control them or shame them back. I’m going to do something about my own actions, words, and thoughts so what others do doesn’t bother me.

The Conscious Courtesan on Slut Shaming...

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Menstrual cramps considered for medical marijuana treatment

YES please!

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Thinx: tackling the feminine hygiene industry, one taboo at a time

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Get your rebellion out!

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Mad Sonora, I think this tumblr covers both of our passions...

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Rep. Debbie Riddle Aims To “Ban Women Larger Than A C-Cup To Breastfeed In Public”

“Studies have shown that women with bigger breasts are not commonly associated with modest behavior”

This lady insults all women at one go: if you are larger than a C cup, you apparently are not modest. If you are are C cup or smaller, you are apparently “uninteresting.” Hahahahaha! Sucks to live in Texas, where someone who believes these things is actually in public office. 

[conflictedintrovert]

So that specific article and all the articles that its spawned are satire.  The thing is she did actually say  the part about women with larger breasts thing.  That politicops site is not good about being upfront about their satire.  Took me more than a few minutes to parse this whole thing out, and really only because I have a friend that was living in Texas at the time did I even take a second look.  

So to be clear she is no longer an elected official, and didn’t ever propose banning larger than a c cup, rather she said this while in opposition to a bill that would protect public breast feeding. 

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Thanks to conflictedintrovert for this update! I had done a bit of research myself and found an article about this lady in NY Magazine that corroborated some but not all claims here... clearly more thorough digging was required here. I feel a bit better about Texas now :-)

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Rep. Debbie Riddle Aims To “Ban Women Larger Than A C-Cup To Breastfeed In Public”

“Studies have shown that women with bigger breasts are not commonly associated with modest behavior”

This lady insults all women at one go: if you are larger than a C cup, you apparently are not modest. If you are are C cup or smaller, you are apparently “uninteresting.” Hahahahaha! Sucks to live in Texas, where someone who believes these things is actually in public office. 

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How Do you Find Polyamorous Partners?

Just Between Us

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Chronic pain from endometriosis.

I’m not the only one who can’t tolerate the pill.

Learn more about endometriosis.

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“A pickup artist is out to win, to conquer, to take. He has one goal in mind: to get laid. Little consideration is given to his chosen “target,” for she is interchangeable, just another pawn in his game. Actually having a relationship with a woman? Well, they just haven’t thought that far ahead. Pickup artists are like dogs chasing cars: they wouldn’t have a clue what to do with one if they caught it.

“Men who fancy themselves to be players are simply takers. Sure, by trial and error, any man can learn a few tricks, can discover ways to get to first base with a girl, can try for second, and maybe even steal third. And maybe a man’s definition of success is the quantity of women he can bed. But what of it? What then? Has he won? Has he conquered? Is he a man? Is she looking back on her encounter with him and smiling to herself the next morning?... Will she cherish the encounter with him for the rest of her days? If not, then what was the point? Yes, he got laid, but what has he gained?

“There is an entire doctrine out there of pushing through a woman’s resistance. If the pickup artist’s stainless-steel technique is precise enough or his onslaught of words is strong enough or coercive enough or confusing enough, she will eventually “give in” and the “seduction” will be complete. Men of this ilk congratulate themselves on their prowess, at how skillful they were to get another “lay.”

“This isn’t seduction. This is psychological warfare, wearing down a girl’s resistance until she is bone-weary and it is easier to give in than to continue to resist. Where is her delight in all of this? Where is her breathless excitement? Where is her chance to wake up in the morning beside him all happy and shy and cuddly?

“These men - or let’s call them what they are: boys - don’t care about any of this. They trample about all over the place, like a field they deprive of vital nutrients, scorched earth, taking advantage of a woman’s openness. She is led to believe one thing and discovers another. And when it happens, she is saddened a little more and her belief in men dies a little more...

A real man never takes. His only desire is to share, to inspire, to beautify the experiences of himself and everyone around him. His ecstasy is derived solely from her ecstasy. If she doesn’t feel like a queen, he doesn’t feel like a king. A boy makes his girlfriend jealous of other women. A man makes other women jealous of his girl.”

- The Alabaster Girl, by Zan Perrion

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When I was monogamous, break-ups were traumatic. Now that I am poly, they still are. Yet, being poly, and having a wider network of friends and lovers, the trauma simply doesn’t last as many days. I seem to get to the learning and the lessons, the levity, the insights and then perspective sooner. I seem to get out of hurt and into understanding sooner.

I’m not sure that this is exclusively due to polyamory. I think it is due to making a commitment to honesty with myself and that is a separate matter from choosing monogamy versus polyamory. But polyamory keeps me on my toes in ways that monogamy doesn’t.

It feels to me like we live in a culture that is in love with and romanticizes co-dependency. My experience of polyamory challenges the creeping tentacles of co-dependency every time. I’m not saying that all monogamous relationships are co-dependent. I’m saying, we live in a culture that doesn’t call out co-dependency for the crutch and trap that it is. So it’s easy for co-dependency to sneak in. In my experience, polyamory kicks co-dependency in the nuts every time.

I’m not sure I always enjoy that. But I do admire it.

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“The number one genre of books sold in the world today is romance. And why is this? Because women everywhere are no longer seduced by men. Because men no longer seduce their wives. Because we settle. We settle in our careers, in our relationhips, in all aspects of our lives. We color everything beige and we call it good enough.” - The Alabaster Girl, by Zan Perrion.

[autostraddle]

I’m going to carry on doing what I love and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. In fact, I think it’s really important that I do, because being trans does not mean that you need to give up on your life, or your friends, or your family, or your career or your achievements.

Australian Comedian Jordan Raskopoulos Comes Out as a Trans Woman in Hilarious, Empowering Video (via autostraddle)

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16 Extraordinary Black Trans Leaders You Need To Know

In celebration of Black History Month, let's recognize and applaud the amazing black leaders who have shaped the transgender movement.

This is a great list!

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I recently discovered the Maven of Mayhem blog and am now hooked. I love the vulnerability with which this family has chosen to share their very personal journey. IMO, it goes a long way to modelling love, support and acceptance.

Thank you, Maven of Mayhem and Alexis for sharing your story!