P

Everything is changing so fast. In all my inconsistency the stars will always be there for me. It's time to leave behind these places, these people, these memories that only wish to harm me.

[zenwannabe]

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

[forestgreenlesbian]

december……

[tomb-of-madeline]

Happy Valentine’s day everyone!

[googledocsdyke]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

[mostlybats-partiallyrats]

How fucking old are you people?

[googledocsdyke]

normal amount

[yominari]

“He had not been praying, but dreaming—which, she would realize later, came to almost the same thing.”

Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You

[anthropologyofwater-deactivated]

Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You

[normalbirb]

Couldnt find a pic to use as bg on my phone of cactus steven, so I threw this one together. Feel free to use it as bg too

[stickerfae]

[snototters-deactivated20210129]

[allcutified]

[itoatsuki]

変わらずにはいられない

[burnt-toaster-waffles]

I think one of the funniest things about “ok boomer” is the fact that they used “millennial” as an insult for years and it was ok but we start giving them a taste of their own medicine and it’s suddenly the end of the world.

[sterlingarcher]

I cant believe the heterosexuals are gone

Theyre gone

[moonshinezombie-deactivated2020]

We’re still here.

[veronicasantangelo]

who said that

[macgician-deactivated20181203]

i went on my old computer and this was the only file in my Videos folder

[breaktotheotherside]

I had to reblog this again lol

[orihorsejmp]

Journal 2

Hey everyone. It’s been awhile, I always let a crazy long time pass in between updates. My BAD! 

So...a lot of things have changed. Home for the holidays always makes you think about the past huh? Lately I’ve been obsessing over deleting old account on websites to try and rid myself of the past but I’ve come to the realization that it doesn’t really matter if I delete it or not. But also...that I might want to log back in someday and look at what I thought about years ago. It’s interesting. Sometimes I look back on tumbr at what I used to be interested in and I think, gees, I’m the same old person just with a little more patience and restraint than before. And that’s okay, change doesn’t have to happen all at once for there to be progress. 

Well, anyways. I’m thinking about starting a blog, just talking like I normally would. Either that or somewhere to talk about all these crazy hobbies I have. I say crazy when they’re really just me hording items that can be categorized. BUT IT’S OOF! Oh yeah, I say oof a lot now...that’s the symptoms of moving to the Midwest for a couple of years. But yeah, I’ve been collecting stickers from my travels and adventures and I think it would be cool to talk about them.

I don’t have that big of a following on here so if I did something like that I was thinking of starting an actual blog page, and not another tumblr or any other platform I’ve been on before. I say big like people are actually reading these. I think these are honestly just for me to feel like I’m not talking to myself...insert another oof...

Hmmm...I think...that’s all I wanted to talk about. but hey, I’d love to connect to some of y’all if you ever want to make a new friend!

(oops realized I never dated that last one there!!!)

December 19th, 2019 | 9:49PM | Peyton

[orihorsejmp]

Journal 1

Hi. I guess...it’s been almost three years since I’ve last done a personal post on tumblr. So uh...it’s me again. Hahahah I guess in a way I started using this like a modern day finsta, before I knew what finsta was that is.

Anyways. I finally got away from that really toxic guy. I think you’d all be proud of me. But...I also cut off everyone. It was not the best way to do things at all and now I’m probably if not was before, am surely now, the most hated person ever.

I’ve come to terms with it I guess. I’m ready to live alone. If you’ve read any of my other stuff then...well I’ve always been ready but not ready to live on my own.

Actually, after exiting that toxic relationship I entered another and it was ok but I didn’t know ??? How to relationship so I broke it off and then I entered another and it was just as toxic as before if not WORSE. And then I entered another and this is where I fucked up and cut everyone off. Well I guess I’ll be truthful with this. I cut everyone off in preparation to cut myself off from the world. Then at the last minute like the coward I am didn’t want to, well I mean I still do but I...I don’t know how to explain it. I’m being held back by only a few things.

In the end, I don’t want to be a burden and I don’t know how to ask for help. I’ve gotten better but then I spiraled into the worst spiral I’ve ever spiraled well only because this time it involved other people when normally I just close everyone off for that period of time and I knew I should’ve done that but I was trying to be normal but I couldn’t do it.

Anyways. Here I am, back at good ole square one like usual. I even ended up back on this app. Wowwwwza. I haven’t journaled in a while like actually a couple of years but I’m also doing that again. Maybe it’ll help me express my emotions better to others. I’m not very good at talking about these things but I seem to be able to write it all just fine. I’m not surprised. I was never good at speaking, always better at writing things down to express myself. I think maybe that’s because I was always forced to write as a punishment so eventually I just started writing on my own because...well whatever ya know.

I think I’m just ranting at this point. I’m trying to pass the time while this thunder storm happens. If you all remember, I’m really scared of thunder storms. I hate to be alone during them.

Ohh maybe I’ll start naming these? Let’s start with Journal 1 for now. Maybe I’ll keep doing this here. I already have three in my notes section on my phone. I want to well maybe I don’t want to post them. In those I’m talking to myself because I don’t have anyone else to talk to. But here, it feels like there’s people listening to me even if there isn’t. I think that makes me feel a bit better?

Ok, well I don’t think the storm is going to let up anytime soon. And I’m starting to yawn. I think I’ll try to sleep now.

Goodnight.

2:10am // Peyton

[chickpeabb-deactivated20180117]

It’s me, your dream girl, in scrunched up socks and a blanket cape.