otogakure.gov

naruto shitposting, occasionally nsfw/spoilers

[oroborochimaru]

orochimaru would absolutely have the audacity to show up to the bimonthly Otogakure Survivors Support Group meeting in the konoha rec hall. restraining orders be damned. he waltzes in with his slutty new body and sits in one of the folding chairs and when yamato tries to tell him to leave he just waves a hand and says “oh please, don’t mind me, I’m just here to reminisce~”

[lovecorenaruto]

hating female characters for getting in the way of your mlm ship is over. it's time for hating men who get in the way of wlw ships. sasuke meet me outside

[jinchuriki]

[nebulations]

[ID: A reply by @/zawarudio that reads: "sasuke doesn't even want to be part of his own marriage hes not gonna meet you outside be he'll just slam the divorce papers on the table instantly and leave." End ID]

[oroborochimaru]

Inclusivity Win! The Snake Who Just Murdered The Hokage Is Nonbinary

[oroborochimaru]

konoha's medical ninja looking over the research data they confiscated from orochimaru like "he's a loose cannon but by god he gets results"

[oroborochimaru]

when the pandemic’s finally over

[oroborochimaru]

tobirama introduced breakfast cereal to konoha because the high protein content in traditional japanese breakfasts was making everyone too horny for his liking

[oroborochimaru]

sasuke learns about the sunk-cost fallacy and goes to the nearest bathroom and shuts the door and SCREAMS

[lerorerorero]

Another illustration! This one is for  Things That Make the Heart Beat Faster. It’s an amazing fic, part 2 of kakuhida series (both works are gold)

Keep reading

[oroborochimaru]

I usually don’t self-promote, but @rammi-san drew INCREDIBLE art of one of my fic and everyone needs to see it

[carlyjeanyamada-deactivated]

The rumors that Tobirama was a virgin when he died are untrue, he fucked the citizens of Konoha over every day of his life.

[oroborochimaru]

tobirama senju believes sex should only occur for the sake of procreation. he stands under a waterfall for three hours in penance whenever he has a wet dream. every time he has to touch his own genitals he is physically nauseated. meanwhile hashirama has fucked half of konoha and is working on the other half

[oroborochimaru]

madara: and now... the infinite tsukuyomi...!

kaguya: *flipping the lights on* WELCOME TO HEAVEN! WELCOME TO HEAVEN!!

[oroborochimaru]

listen a lot of folks in naruto talk a big game about being immortal but orochimaru actually did the damn thing. he was killed like three times and he’s literally only younger and hotter and more important than ever. konoha had to put him under house arrest cause they knew if they tried to execute him for his many many crimes he’d just come back and wreck their shit AGAIN like yeah sure just stay where we can keep an eye on you we guess. you wanna clone yourself some kids, whatever, just don’t kill any more kage please we can’t afford to go through this another time. what a queen

[oroborochimaru]

he said for $8000 a month he would stop and they PAID

[oroborochimaru]

so much filler we oughta call it naruto skippuden

[oroborochimaru]

[oroborochimaru]

listen a lot of folks in naruto talk a big game about being immortal but orochimaru actually did the damn thing. he was killed like three times and he’s literally only younger and hotter and more important than ever. konoha had to put him under house arrest cause they knew if they tried to execute him for his many many crimes he’d just come back and wreck their shit AGAIN like yeah sure just stay where we can keep an eye on you we guess. you wanna clone yourself some kids, whatever, just don’t kill any more kage please we can’t afford to go through this another time. what a queen

[oroborochimaru]

naruto: I was always alone when I was young... no one would be my friend

shikamaru, choji, and kiba, his literal best friends:

[oroborochimaru]

orochimaru got chris hanson'd by sasori and that's the real reason he had to leave the akatsuki