WARNING: This post will ruin you. Like Medusa; look at your peril.
But here is is. Itās the one youāve all been waiting for.
Kirk bod appreciation #7: The RIDICULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL FACE. A highly technical and academic review.
This is a rather nebulous one. And not, on the face of it (pardon the pun) very philosophical, as itās essentially about Kirk being stupidly pretty. This post probably will (it will) descend into just screaming and sobbing, but there will be, I promise, *some* meaningful insight into the meaning of ābeautyā and textual analysis of its role herein.
Beauty is subjective. But look at him. Itās not just being aesthetic, but itās the *way* heās aesthetic. Here I might repeat myself a bit, but stay with me. I may have mentioned before once hearing him described as ābeautiful in the way women are often described as beautifulā. He is PRETTY. He is indeed often conveyed in the way the women stereotypically (not necessarily rightly) are on screen: perfect, smooth skin; soft, big eyes; luscious lips (his body is sensually curvaceous and furthermore itās emphasised). Heās not androgynous though. Heās masculine. And yet I still sense what was meant in describing him as ābeautiful in the way women are often described as beautifulā. He is a rather uncommon form of gender fuckery. He is a form of stereotype-subversion not commonly acknowledged. He seems to be everything at once, ALL THE GENDER; combines whichever traits he desires from those categories, and yet is undeniably a man and masculine whatever the ingredients. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE, one might wonder. The fact of the matter is, that it IS. And it teaches us something.
The FUCK. nO. You are not allowed to be that pretty, and you are NOT allowed to look at her like that. Weāre trying to have a SENSIBLE DISCUSSION here.
Sorry, that was a non-sequitur / nothing to do with what we learn by Kirkās embodiment; I was just ambushed by my own gif. Only the control of a Vulcan. ONLY that could possibly withstand this onslaught. And even that wonāt hold up forever AS WE WELL KNOW
This is going well, as you can tell.
OK. So, itās claimed he has Eyes and Stupidly Long Weakness-Inducing Eyelashes. You know, from all that fanfic that goes on about ābig, sparkling eyesā and him fanning his ālong, copper eyelashesā. I mean, yeah right, tropey mc tropeface -
ITāS TRUE. HE IS LITERALLY AN ANIME PRINCESS.
There are some moments where he just BLINKS and, how to describe itā¦how does a BLINK have that effect. Itās NOT ALLOWED.
ā¦Iām sorry. It IS allowed. All of it. I am not shaming you your beauty. Never change, Jim. Never.
OK. Iām ok. 3 pics down, we can get through this -
I donāt understand how anyone can be so beautiful. Life is a lie. Reality is fake -
- you did NOT just turn your big anime eyes on Spock. You do know this is why he ran away to PURGE ALL HIS EMOTIONS?
And for that matter, you know when Kirk looks his most beautiful? Literally WHEN HEāS LOOKING AT SPOCK. Spock talks some bollocks and Kirk just sparkles like a fucking angel:
Unbelievable. But utterly undeniable.
Oh - someone once suggested I talk about The Lips. Lips are so wonderful arenāt they. So many wonderful things they can do.
And Kirkās. Theyāre there in every picture: perfect, rosy, soft and madness-inducing. My advice is justā¦donāt think about them. But since Iāve been asked to draw attention to them, well, youāve just sealed your fate. Scroll down at your peril.
Iāve seen this great meme going around:
Excuse me thoughā¦.CUTE?
Thatās the understatement of the 23rd century.
Try impossibly beautiful, mind and body: heart of solid gold, soul deep in love with you. Those eyes and all their passion burned into your memories a thousand times over, along with - maybe, suggestibly, idk Iām extrapolating from all the goddamn tension - even the one unforgettable time he laid between lily-white sheets and gave himself to you; every gift of the mind, body and soul - and your ostensibly-forced Vulcan conditioning, that completely ignored how incompatible one part of you was with it, caused so much dissonance that you thought the only possible course of action for you both to survive was to BREAK UP, tear yourself from this beauty and love and sweetness to PURGE ALL EMOTIONS because nothing, nothing equipped you for this; you were set up specifically to fail, and fail hard in the face of transcendental love and beauty by those who rejected such things and didnāt understand you and could never imagine this for you and who instead of helping your beautiful neurodivergent brain flourish taught you to repress and caused you pain and shame and Gol was so hard and Kirk was so sad, so very sad and depressed and hurt and yet he couldnāt stop loving you with a bond so strong he called to you across the stars and Gol was all for naught yet you still didnāt know how to live like this, it was torture, torture until the mind meld with the living machine flashed your BIOS and you knew, love.exe was suddenly running with no errors and he came after you and held you and you held hands and, and -
YOU WONDER WHAT THE SUBTEXT (FRIKKINā MAIN TEXT) OF STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE WAS ALL ABOUT???
The pain?? The angst?? The two logical entities seeking contact, love, THIS SIMPLE FEELING? That fucking moment when spock walks on the bridge and the only way he can control himself is to be SUPER Vulcan, while his love gazes at him with those EYES, fucking huge and glittering and hurt and loving?? Is it so much a mystery what memories these two are carrying, whatās behind the searing tension???????
Love him. Love him Spock. Take him in your arms and love him. Heās for you. All for you. Fucking hell guys. The fuck. This movie.
Itās obviously not all just superficial physical beauty. What IS beauty? Narratively we do sometimes find thisĀ āprettinessā enhanced and emphasized like the old vaseline lens to set the tone of a scene (heās vulnerable and delicate, or someoneās indeed in love with him so we see their ālensā on him); but it is somewhat intangible and nebulous and changeable. I donāt think aesthetic beauty, if one deems it so, on its own, would be enough for the likes of Spock (indeed, no woman could charm him thusly); itās about something deeper. Itās about who he is. Who he is inside: the beautiful AND the imperfect. How his good and bad - how his āallā -Ā chimes with Spockās āallā. The Enemy Within deals with this, and shows how Spock loves all of Kirk, wants him complete, with both his light and shadow. The beauty of all of us is this totality and variance, not one intangible quality.
Iāll bet Spockās parents knew immediately. Can you imagine Sarek trying to be a total bitch over Kirk, having heard the rumours and just wanting to have one more thing to reject Spock over, immediately projecting onto Kirk as some blow-up pretty-boy and how Incredibly More Disappointing My Son Is for being Obviously In Love With Stupid Illogical Human Doll Face Bubble Butt Bimbo Captain, and Amandaās like, stfu, let me remind you Kirk is actually a Fucking Amazing Highly Decorated Starship Captain who Saves Your Life and donāt you DARE resent him just because heās got tits/ass/tum/lips that wonāt quit and is obviously the freakinā sun Spock orbits. Mr āI married a human but that was special because it was logicalā or some bullshit. How is Kirk an illogical choice? I mean literally, Spock is a Science Geniusā¢ on the federationās FLAGSHIP whose well-matched Genius Captainā¢ understands him, accepts him, brings the best out of him, helps him fulfil his whole potential and is in love with him in the deepest and purest way and will be his bonded soulmate for ALL OF TIME and that fucking sour-faced bih at the start of that ep, ffs.
Of course Amanda stays in touch with Kirk, adores the fuck out of him, sends him old Vulcan lit on tāhyāla bonds (yes sarek, a TāHYāLA bond, so revered freakinā poets write about it) etc because frankly her son could do FAR FUCKING WORSE.
Donātā¦just donāt slip the bod into the equation, the face is enough for one post. Weāre all in therapy for this already, letās not relapse.
Oh, whatās the use. Iām gonna die. This is it. This is like the Monty Python joke that is so funny it kills you. This man is lethal. I need to stop this thread and purge all my emotions
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thatās it. Iām dead. Youāre dead. Weāre all dead.
I hope, however, seeing this post was worth it. See you at Gol everyone.
The Forbidden Texts, DO NOT READ:
Kirk bod appreciation #6: The Curves. The Front. Theā¦chest. AND THE AMAZING GREEN WRAP
Kirk bod appreciation #5: The Paws
Kirk bod appreciation #4: The Curves. The Back. Poetry in motion. Ā
Kirk bod appreciation #3: Season 3 (Part 1)
Kirk bod appreciation #2b: The Gluteus Maximus
Kirk bod appreciation #2a: The Gluteus Maximus
Kirk bod appreciation #1: The Tum
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