may☆

19 | bi (& proud!) | multifandom “Words are not meant to simply hang in the air—they are capable of moving greater things.” — Natsume Soseki.

[osamuq]

Chapter 5 of "Call Me Hopeless, Not Romantic" out now!

Here is my favourite snippet from the latest chapter. For context: this is a funnybunny fake-dating college au story WITH a transfem jax coming out arc!!

Pomni has been on an insane sleep schedule since school started that has essentially consisted of endless studying followed by six hours of sleep if she gets lucky. Add the last night on top of that, and her body has been totally out of whack. When she crashes in Jax's bed, both her muscles and brain feel beyond relieved. 

Which is why it's jarring to be woken up only two hours later to someone gripping her shoulder and shaking it. Before she can strangle them, her eyes finally adjust and she realizes it’s Jax next to her. 

It’s hard to make out his expression in the dark. “You were mumbling and shaking in your sleep,” he whispers. 

Pomni swallows the blunt response she was prepared to give. She sits up and rubs her eyes, trying to think clearly. 

She knows she has nightmares. With all the shit she’s been through, it’s kind of a given. But they don’t happen all the time and whenever they do, she finds her own way to calm herself back to sleep — even if it takes hours. 

Of course she had to have one now, of all nights possible. 

“Sorry if I woke you,” she mutters. She doesn’t look over at him because she has no clue how he’s going to react. He has a way of seeing through her and that’s the last thing she wants right now. They continue to sit in silence and it becomes obvious that he isn’t going back to sleep. 

“I’m fine you can go back to bed, idiot,” she murmurs. 

“Do you have nightmares every night?” he asks, ignoring her requests. 

Pomni forces herself to take another deep breath. She doesn’t want to have this conversation at all, especially in the middle of the night when she’s just woken up. 

“Not usually. They’re random,” she answers, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in them. “You didn’t have to wake me up.” 

Jax shifts himself up to a crossed-legged position, facing her more directly. They continue to sit in silence. 

“I think the couch is probably safe by now” she mumbles, turning to get up. “I’m sorry for bothering you.” 

Jax quickly grabs her shoulder and pulls her back so they’re facing each other again. “Don’t be stupid, Pomni.” There's a sort of desperation in his voice that admittedly shocks her. Her heart is hammering out of her chest. 

At the look in his eyes, the fight drains out of her all at once. She slowly settles back onto the mattress, curling in on herself. The irritation that had been there only moments ago has disappeared, replaced by something far more unsettling. There is a quiet panic in her expression, a wordless plea not to send her back to whatever she'd been trapped in before he woke her. She looks impossibly small like this, shoulders drawn inward, trying so hard to keep herself together that it almost hurts to watch. He isn't sure why, but seeing her like this makes his heart feel impossibly heavy.

And so, he moves his hand down from her shoulder to her hand, slowly intertwining their fingers. Her breathing shifts for a moment, but she doesn’t protest — all of the frustration seems to fade from her. They both lie back down, hands still connected. He throws the pillow between them away and she doesn’t protest. 

Jax has never been good with comforting people. He doesn’t know what it’s supposed to look like because when he was upset growing up, he would just sit alone in his room until he felt better. 

But in this moment, Pomni can tell that he is trying to reassure her that if she can feel him physically when she falls back asleep, she’ll know she’s not alone. He’s there with her for whatever waits for her when she closes her eyes again.

She squeezes his hand, soaking in the offered comfort — even though she knows it’s probably a bad idea. It’s not the most comfortable position, but neither of them pull away until they fall back asleep.

The nightmares don’t go away, but for once, they become easier to face.

Read the full story here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88234806/chapters/233966966

[osamuq]

Call Me Hopeless, Not Romantic — A Funnybunny, Fake Dating College AU Fanfiction

Chapter 3 — A Brief Inquiry into Fake Relationships — is going to be out on Sunday so I thought I would tease it a little here. Here's a small snippet:

“Be my girlfriend.” 

Pomni simply blinks at him. Her expression is completely blank, as though her brain has momentarily stopped processing language.

“Not my actual girlfriend.” he quickly clarifies “Everyone else will think we are dating but between us two it’ll just be a mutually beneficial agreement until we can both get what we want.” 

“What’s in it for you?” she spits out. 

Jax freezes for a moment before speaking. “My sister has been berating me for months now and is worried that I am an emotionally closed off asshole. She’s put this dumbass deal over my head that if I get a girlfriend by the end of the semester, she’ll never meddle with my life again.” 

After a prolonged silence, Pomni quietly mumbles, “I don’t want to date you.” 

“Yeah, well, it’s not that appealing to me either.” Jax huffs “ But it’ll help you make Alex jealous enough to win him back. And I'll finally get my sister off my back when I prove to her that I can be in an emotionally secure relationship — I just choose not to be.” 

Pomni couldn’t wrap her head around it. Her and Jax dating? Has he gone insane?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/88234806/chapters/233966966

[osamuq]

Call Me Hopeless, Not Romantic

Jax doesn't believe in love. Unfortunately, his relentlessly optimistic sister Ragatha does — and she’s made it her personal mission to save him from a life of self-imposed loneliness. He’s spent years avoiding her meddling, but everything changes when she offers him a tempting deal: land a girlfriend by the end of the year, and she’ll never interfere in his love life again.

Pomni thought she’d buried her ex in the past — until she watches him move on with someone new at college orientation. Now, she's determined to prove she’s not the one still stuck on him.

One reckless night throws the two together and before long, a deal is struck to solve both their issues: he’ll pretend to be her boyfriend, and she’ll help him keep his sister off his back. It’s the perfect arrangement.

What could possibly go wrong?

…

Read the first two chapters of my college au funny bunny fan fiction here! Jax is closeted transfem at the start but comes out as the story progresses. I’m so excited to develop this further :)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[osamuq]

if i had a nickel for everytime i’ve been outed by a friend, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t alot, but it’s weird that it happened twice

[ventismfsblog]

[izorfia]

And it's fucking amazing

We love u gooseworx

We got the best tumblr sexywoman ever

[osamuq]

hey noah, did you watch the tadc finale before us and write ALL of the great divide based off funnybunny?

[irdkbutdontask]

My biggest fear is probably my parents finding out about my obsession with gay ships of any kind

[osamuq]

these lyrics EXCEPT it’s pomni thinking about jax and realizing how painful it must’ve been to hide who she really was and how that caused her to be an absolute asshole

[chaluke]

A funnybunny unespected kiss

[shamiisu]

there is still time.

[coffeecupchronicles]

Sigh

[gooseworx]

why did jax abstract off screen??????

Because I wanted it to feel as abrupt and upsetting as it feels in real life.

[lotusss518]

Goodbye, goodbye.

[ccarmody101]

Waking Up - part 2

Part 1

[ithymedit]

my only contribution to this fandom. good movie

[osamuq]

to have someone see all the worst possible parts of you after you repressed yourself for so long in fear of rejection. only to have the first thing they say in response be "i didn't know you could play the piano."

as if all the ugly parts didn't matter and they only cared that you were there.

[osamuq]

what if i really was someone else? someone beautiful and powerful. someone buried alive and suffocating to death, very far away on the other side of a television screen.