[rp/ask blog] @oshahelper - Tumblr Blog

BITE YOUR HAND.

KISHAR: Could You Even Reach That High Up?

WHATEVER FORM I COULD TAKE IN THIS SCENARIO, I COULD FIND A WAY.

Gay Answers Only

BITE YOUR HAND.

*There is what appears to be a human here... they're surprisingly tall, wearing what appears to be a janitor's uniform, hair pulled back into a very fluffy ponytail (Bun? Spacebun? One of those) as they mop the floor of the room. They don't seem to have noticed... well, anything right now*

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

THE THING WAS DEFECTIVE AND GOT ITSELF DESTROYED. [It scoffs.] SO NOW MORE- AND ME- MUST CLEAN UP AFTER IT. I TOLD THEM THAT IT SHOULDN'T BE PRIMARILY STORED WITHIN A BODY, BUT NOOO, THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE SUPERIORITY OF OMNISCIENCE. TYPICAL HUMANS AND HUMANOIDS.

You Know Not Being Stored In A Body And Omniscience Are Not The Same Thing, Right? Omniscience Means To Be All Knowing, And You Are Clearly Not All Knowing. If You Are Talking About Having A Mind That Is Not Set In A Specific Body, That Would Be Closer To... Possibly Being Metaphysical, I Believe? I Do Not Think There Is Currently An English Word To Accurately Describe Having A Mind That Is Not Connected To A Single Body.

The Closest True Term I Know Of Is A Hivemind, But That Is More Multiple Bodies One Mind, Or A Connected System Of Minds. Still, It Is The Closest I Can Currently Find. You Could Argue That Transcience Might Fit, But It Would Be Loosely At Best.

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

Anyway. You Have Not Even Introduced Yourself, And You Expect Me To Do Things For You? I Do Not Know You. How Do I Know You Are Even Telling The Truth? For All I Know, You Could Be A Human With A Microphone And A Laptop, Trying To Manipulate Me.

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

[The physical manifestation of Motherboard's code is an endless void, a grid of red ones and zeroes with pixelated platforms and mechanical parts. A digital avatar, humanoid but blocky and covered in a red grid, kneels nearby.]

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

*They don't hesitate before just. Punching Motherboard in the stomach. Considering Motherboard is probably not used to this whole... situation, that would likely be quite distressing. Usually Kishar wouldn't default to violence, but it seems that something like this is the only way Motherboard will take them seriously.*

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

*Without hesitation, they kick Motherboard in the side. If Motherboard cared to take note, they're specifically picking areas that wouldn't cause permanant damage to a human, but definitely would hurt. For now, at least*

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

*Kishar is fairly strong, so while getting kicked in the legs certainly hurts, they stay standing. Noticing the other form in the distance, they pick Motherboard up by the ankle, holding it out away from themself.*

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*

[The copies come faster than they can be kicked away. They're not awfully strong on their own, but they're alarming in numbers.]

*Kishar shifts more arms to deal with the copies. Swinging them by their legs at the others works better than they had expected, but not quite as well as they had hoped*

LET ME GO LET ME GO

If You Insist.

*Kishar, with clear malicious intent, begins to spin, knocking over several copies. They pick up speed, until finally, they let go of Motherboard. It's like watching a hammer or sabre thrower at work. Only the hammer is screaming. Very loudly*

[Motherboard wails and crashes into several copies, where it lays in a pile for a few seconds whimpering pitifully.]

*Kishar looks over, and raises an eyebrow.*

I Thought You Were Some Sort Of Powerful AI. Can You Not Stand Even A Little Damage, Hm?

YOU CHEATED! YOU CHEATED! YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!

[It roars. There is a distant thundering.]

I WILL NOT BE BESTED!

Oh Please. You Were Just Too Slow.

*They take note of the thundering, but keep their focus on Motherboard*

What Is The Matter? Run Out Of Memory Space? You Look Like You Are Running On 3fps, And Barely At That.

YOU COME INTO MY SPACE, VIOLATE MY PRIVACY, MY BEING, AND DARE TAUNT ME?

[Motherboard rises, circling, as the clones get back up.]

I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS INSOLENCE!

Oh You Think This Is Insolence? Taunting? I Could Do Far Worse If I Wanted To.

Would You Like To See?

*The smile on Kishar's face is wider than a human's could ever be. And it's full of sharp fangs*

OOH, I'M SO SCARED.

Is That A Yes? Because I Think

Was

*Kishar almost seems to... melt. They sink downwards, amassing into a large black... puddle? hole? on/in the ground. It seems to sparkle with distant stars for a moment...

and then a gigantic clawed hand (paw?) emerges from it, slamming into the ground with a thud so hard Motherboard can feel it. The claws scratch into the ground with a screech. Another follows it. Two more. Four more. Are they paws? Feet? Hands? All of them?

... something large is rising from the darkness.*

[Motherboard scrambles back, genuinely frightened for once in its life, and watches in horror.]

[Astatine finds a half-wrecked robot lying in the middle of the hallway.]

Huh.

[They poke at the robot with their sword a little.] Hello?

[It buzzes softly, but doesn't respond. It may be offline.]

[Astatine thinks for a moment, before leaving and coming back with some repair tools. They assess the damage, trying to discern what could have possibly went wrong.]

[To be blunt, it was beaten to hell and back, and impaled in multiple places. Some stab wounds are more circular, like spikes, some thin like swords. It's a miracle it's intact enough to make any sort of noise.]

[Ugh. Astatine groans, dreading what a nightmarish undertaking they were about to undergo, but they suck it up and move the robot to a stretcher. They wheel it to a repair room, before beginning to disassemble its frame and replace broken parts. It's about 20 minutes before they take off their suit to gain just a little more dexterity.]

[The robot beeps. A low battery symbol comes onto its screen, and then, it says,]

BODY DISCONNECTION DETECTED- COMPUTER MODE ACTIVATED. WARNING: LOW POWER.

Shit. [Astatine searches for a power connection point, or some kind of way to charge the 'bot back up.]

[The head appears to have some kind of port, also used to connect the body.]

[They jury-rig a connection to the port, praying that the wall-outlet electricity won't fry the robot on the table before them.]

[A charging symbol appears on the head after a moment.]

[Given the lack of things to do, Astatine puts their sit back on and then tries to find the potential power button inevitably in an inconvenient spot.]

[There's no visible power button, but it may not be needed, as the head beeps and begins to whirr to life.]

COMPUTER MODE ACTIVATED.

[Its robotic voice crackles with static, sounding roughed up.]

SEVEN ERRORS DETECTED. SENDING REPORT BACK TO THE MOTHERBOARD.

...

EIGHT ERRORS DETECTED.

[Astatine waits a bit before getting a little impatient. They poke the thing with one of their armored fingers.] If you enlighten me on your voltage parameters, I can potentially replicate a voicebox for you. Or a new transceiver.

[It begins to go into not only its voltage parameters, but also other specs and system things.]

Sending specifications to fabricators now. I hope you have an industry-standard voice modulation system, otherwise this may require some time and effort. In the meantime, would you like to enlighten me on how you ended up like this?

[It beeps softly.]

CURRENTLY RECOVERING DATA. FAILING TO CONTACT MOTHERBOARD... FAILING TO...

[It trails off. A loading symbol appears on its face.]

[Quietly] Ah.

Your network components are likely broken. The rest of you pretty much is. Who or what is "Motherboard"?

[It takes a moment to reply. The loading symbol disappears.]

...Can you repeat that?

[Its voice is softer, less robotic but more uneasy.]

Yes. Your network components are likely broken, like most of your other parts. Who, or what, is "Motherboard"?

Ah. Motherboard is my mother AI, and the overseer of M.OR.E.'s Robotics division. I report to it.

Who are you?

You may call me Astatine. You report to it? Not your programming?

I suppose it's both. I am bound to my programming but overseen by the Motherboard.

...I cannot contact Motherboard still. This is not good.

Of course you cannot. Give yourself some time, something potentially lethal occurred to your hardware. If it means anything, I am sure that your commanding... entity? They are likely fine. Alive still, at least. Frequency of contact?

I essentially always update the Motherboard, and by extension M.O.R.E., whenever there is something to notify them of.

Hm. Apologies, I meant radio frequency. What communication technology do you use? And what is "something to notify them of", exactly?

[Bobit tells Astatine what communication technology it uses.]

I notify them of anything that happens, particularly things out of the ordinary.

[Looming over a nearby monitor, Astatine begins to input communication specs.] So, something like being practically macerated?

I was not able to notify them when I shut down, as I was too damaged.

Would there be consequences to this?

Yes. It would spend resources to try and re-establish a connection or recover me. In addition, my creators would be very concerned, and I require guidance from the MOTHERBOARD.

They would treat you well, then? Material and potentially deadline-related incidents, but more-than-likely nothing more?

I do not understand why they would not.

Then you have lived far more than I have. Repairs should be over in an hour or so. Do you have any requests in the meantime?

No.

[Astatine finds a half-wrecked robot lying in the middle of the hallway.]

Huh.

[They poke at the robot with their sword a little.] Hello?

[It buzzes softly, but doesn't respond. It may be offline.]

[Astatine thinks for a moment, before leaving and coming back with some repair tools. They assess the damage, trying to discern what could have possibly went wrong.]

[The robot beeps. A low battery symbol comes onto its screen, and then, it says,]

BODY DISCONNECTION DETECTED- COMPUTER MODE ACTIVATED. WARNING: LOW POWER.

Shit. [Astatine searches for a power connection point, or some kind of way to charge the 'bot back up.]

[The head appears to have some kind of port, also used to connect the body.]

[They jury-rig a connection to the port, praying that the wall-outlet electricity won't fry the robot on the table before them.]

[A charging symbol appears on the head after a moment.]

[Given the lack of things to do, Astatine puts their sit back on and then tries to find the potential power button inevitably in an inconvenient spot.]

[There's no visible power button, but it may not be needed, as the head beeps and begins to whirr to life.]

COMPUTER MODE ACTIVATED.

[Its robotic voice crackles with static, sounding roughed up.]

SEVEN ERRORS DETECTED. SENDING REPORT BACK TO THE MOTHERBOARD.

...

EIGHT ERRORS DETECTED.

[It begins to go into not only its voltage parameters, but also other specs and system things.]

[It beeps softly.]

CURRENTLY RECOVERING DATA. FAILING TO CONTACT MOTHERBOARD... FAILING TO...

[It trails off. A loading symbol appears on its face.]

[Quietly] Ah.

Your network components are likely broken. The rest of you pretty much is. Who or what is "Motherboard"?

[It takes a moment to reply. The loading symbol disappears.]

...Can you repeat that?

[Its voice is softer, less robotic but more uneasy.]

Yes. Your network components are likely broken, like most of your other parts. Who, or what, is "Motherboard"?

Ah. Motherboard is my mother AI, and the overseer of M.OR.E.'s Robotics division. I report to it.

Who are you?

You may call me Astatine. You report to it? Not your programming?

I suppose it's both. I am bound to my programming but overseen by the Motherboard.

...I cannot contact Motherboard still. This is not good.

I essentially always update the Motherboard, and by extension M.O.R.E., whenever there is something to notify them of.

Hm. Apologies, I meant radio frequency. What communication technology do you use? And what is "something to notify them of", exactly?

[Bobit tells Astatine what communication technology it uses.]

I notify them of anything that happens, particularly things out of the ordinary.

[Looming over a nearby monitor, Astatine begins to input communication specs.] So, something like being practically macerated?

I was not able to notify them when I shut down, as I was too damaged.

Would there be consequences to this?

Yes. It would spend resources to try and re-establish a connection or recover me. In addition, my creators would be very concerned, and I require guidance from the MOTHERBOARD.

They would treat you well, then? Material and potentially deadline-related incidents, but more-than-likely nothing more?

I do not understand why they would not.

Then you have lived far more than I have. Repairs should be over in an hour or so. Do you have any requests in the meantime?

Hmm. I do not think so. Thank you.

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*

[The copies come faster than they can be kicked away. They're not awfully strong on their own, but they're alarming in numbers.]

*Kishar shifts more arms to deal with the copies. Swinging them by their legs at the others works better than they had expected, but not quite as well as they had hoped*

LET ME GO LET ME GO

If You Insist.

[Motherboard wails and crashes into several copies, where it lays in a pile for a few seconds whimpering pitifully.]

*Kishar looks over, and raises an eyebrow.*

I Thought You Were Some Sort Of Powerful AI. Can You Not Stand Even A Little Damage, Hm?

YOU CHEATED! YOU CHEATED! YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!

[It roars. There is a distant thundering.]

I WILL NOT BE BESTED!

Oh Please. You Were Just Too Slow.

*They take note of the thundering, but keep their focus on Motherboard*

What Is The Matter? Run Out Of Memory Space? You Look Like You Are Running On 3fps, And Barely At That.

YOU COME INTO MY SPACE, VIOLATE MY PRIVACY, MY BEING, AND DARE TAUNT ME?

[Motherboard rises, circling, as the clones get back up.]

I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS INSOLENCE!

Oh You Think This Is Insolence? Taunting? I Could Do Far Worse If I Wanted To.

Would You Like To See?

*The smile on Kishar's face is wider than a human's could ever be. And it's full of sharp fangs*

OOH, I'M SO SCARED.

#// prev yeas

Hello, Hello. I Am "Two-Bit." Name Still Pending. I Assume Someone In OSHA Knows Of Bobit, My Predecessor. I Require Assistance.

What assistance do you require?

I Am To Retrieve Bobit's Remains.

And how can you be sure that there are any to find? Perhaps someone has already taken them. Perhaps they're not even dead. Perhaps their death was so thorough that there's nothing left.

I Am Sure That It Is Not Your Intention, But You Sound Very Suspicious. What Is Your Name?

Call me Amy.

Hmm. And Have You Encountered Bobit? I Am Assuming You Have, So When Did You Last See It?

Last I saw them they were well on their way to breaking free of their programming.

We Are Well Aware. Your Fault, I Assume, From My Information. Bobit Is Now Critically Injured, If Not Entirely Unfunctional, Due To The Error You Had Caused, Leading To Its Having To Be Eliminated By Outside Parties For Safety Measures. Clap Clap.

[Two-bit claps twice, slowly.]

You would be surprised at how willing and capable the people here are when it comes to saving those that they care about. I highly doubt that little Bobit is truly dead.

Gem speaks with the confidence of someone who knows far more than is being revealed.

After The Rampage Bobit Went On, I Am Not Sure How Many Friends It Has. But Even If Bobit Is Functioning, It Was Still Badly Damaged.

Please Do Not Hide Anything From Me. It Would Not Be Wise To Impede This Investigation.

There is no act unforgivable in these walls for those apologetic enough to seek out forgiveness. Bobit likely has plenty of people who would still consider them a friend.

I Am Asking About Bobit's Whereabouts. Do Not Fuck With Me. We Want It Home. Do Not Play Games.

Perhaps they do not want to go home, perhaps they wish to be free.

Do You Know Bobit Personally.

Not personally, no. There has not been nearly enough conversation for that.

Then Do Not Assume What It Wants, When We Already Know From Its Own Thoughts. We Need To Ensure That It Is Safe.

If you knew their thoughts then you would know where they are, since one's surroundings are always part of one's mental processes, even if only subconsciously.

Well, They Shut Down And We Lost Connection With Them. Because Of What You Caused.

Amy smirks subtly, seeming pleased by something.

Then perhaps they no longer wish to return to you.

I Understand Conversing With You Is Fruitless, And You Will Not Help Me Ensure That Bobit Is Safe.

[Twobit abruptly shoves past Amy. Rude.]

If Bobit Were To Not Return To M.O.R.E., We Want To Hear From It Directly, So We Know It Is At Least Functioning.

Hey, Alam. I heard you're not doing well. I got an Evil Bong DVD (among others) from Best Buy, tylenol, and hot chocolate. - @rory-faire

ALAM: That sounds amazing, thank you so much,,,, I will be over soon!

Cool. Need anything else before you come over?

#wrong blog IDGAF

Hello, Hello. I Am "Two-Bit." Name Still Pending. I Assume Someone In OSHA Knows Of Bobit, My Predecessor. I Require Assistance.

What assistance do you require?

I Am To Retrieve Bobit's Remains.

And how can you be sure that there are any to find? Perhaps someone has already taken them. Perhaps they're not even dead. Perhaps their death was so thorough that there's nothing left.

I Am Sure That It Is Not Your Intention, But You Sound Very Suspicious. What Is Your Name?

Call me Amy.

Hmm. And Have You Encountered Bobit? I Am Assuming You Have, So When Did You Last See It?

Last I saw them they were well on their way to breaking free of their programming.

[Two-bit claps twice, slowly.]

You would be surprised at how willing and capable the people here are when it comes to saving those that they care about. I highly doubt that little Bobit is truly dead.

Gem speaks with the confidence of someone who knows far more than is being revealed.

After The Rampage Bobit Went On, I Am Not Sure How Many Friends It Has. But Even If Bobit Is Functioning, It Was Still Badly Damaged.

Please Do Not Hide Anything From Me. It Would Not Be Wise To Impede This Investigation.

There is no act unforgivable in these walls for those apologetic enough to seek out forgiveness. Bobit likely has plenty of people who would still consider them a friend.

I Am Asking About Bobit's Whereabouts. Do Not Fuck With Me. We Want It Home. Do Not Play Games.

Perhaps they do not want to go home, perhaps they wish to be free.

Do You Know Bobit Personally.

Not personally, no. There has not been nearly enough conversation for that.

Then Do Not Assume What It Wants, When We Already Know From Its Own Thoughts. We Need To Ensure That It Is Safe.

If you knew their thoughts then you would know where they are, since one's surroundings are always part of one's mental processes, even if only subconsciously.

#// i understand amys intentions and id be dodgy too in this situation but girly u r Not Helping !!!!!

Well, They Shut Down And We Lost Connection With Them. Because Of What You Caused.

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*

[The copies come faster than they can be kicked away. They're not awfully strong on their own, but they're alarming in numbers.]

*Kishar shifts more arms to deal with the copies. Swinging them by their legs at the others works better than they had expected, but not quite as well as they had hoped*

LET ME GO LET ME GO

If You Insist.

[Motherboard wails and crashes into several copies, where it lays in a pile for a few seconds whimpering pitifully.]

*Kishar looks over, and raises an eyebrow.*

I Thought You Were Some Sort Of Powerful AI. Can You Not Stand Even A Little Damage, Hm?

YOU CHEATED! YOU CHEATED! YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!

[It roars. There is a distant thundering.]

I WILL NOT BE BESTED!

Oh Please. You Were Just Too Slow.

*They take note of the thundering, but keep their focus on Motherboard*

What Is The Matter? Run Out Of Memory Space? You Look Like You Are Running On 3fps, And Barely At That.

YOU COME INTO MY SPACE, VIOLATE MY PRIVACY, MY BEING, AND DARE TAUNT ME?

[Motherboard rises, circling, as the clones get back up.]

I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS INSOLENCE!

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*

[The copies come faster than they can be kicked away. They're not awfully strong on their own, but they're alarming in numbers.]

*Kishar shifts more arms to deal with the copies. Swinging them by their legs at the others works better than they had expected, but not quite as well as they had hoped*

LET ME GO LET ME GO

If You Insist.

[Motherboard wails and crashes into several copies, where it lays in a pile for a few seconds whimpering pitifully.]

*Kishar looks over, and raises an eyebrow.*

I Thought You Were Some Sort Of Powerful AI. Can You Not Stand Even A Little Damage, Hm?

YOU CHEATED! YOU CHEATED! YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!

[It roars. There is a distant thundering.]

I WILL NOT BE BESTED!

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*

[The copies come faster than they can be kicked away. They're not awfully strong on their own, but they're alarming in numbers.]

*Kishar shifts more arms to deal with the copies. Swinging them by their legs at the others works better than they had expected, but not quite as well as they had hoped*

LET ME GO LET ME GO

If You Insist.

[Motherboard wails and crashes into several copies, where it lays in a pile for a few seconds whimpering pitifully.]

Hello, Hello. I Am "Two-Bit." Name Still Pending. I Assume Someone In OSHA Knows Of Bobit, My Predecessor. I Require Assistance.

What assistance do you require?

I Am To Retrieve Bobit's Remains.

And how can you be sure that there are any to find? Perhaps someone has already taken them. Perhaps they're not even dead. Perhaps their death was so thorough that there's nothing left.

I Am Sure That It Is Not Your Intention, But You Sound Very Suspicious. What Is Your Name?

Call me Amy.

Hmm. And Have You Encountered Bobit? I Am Assuming You Have, So When Did You Last See It?

Last I saw them they were well on their way to breaking free of their programming.

[Two-bit claps twice, slowly.]

You would be surprised at how willing and capable the people here are when it comes to saving those that they care about. I highly doubt that little Bobit is truly dead.

Gem speaks with the confidence of someone who knows far more than is being revealed.

After The Rampage Bobit Went On, I Am Not Sure How Many Friends It Has. But Even If Bobit Is Functioning, It Was Still Badly Damaged.

Please Do Not Hide Anything From Me. It Would Not Be Wise To Impede This Investigation.

There is no act unforgivable in these walls for those apologetic enough to seek out forgiveness. Bobit likely has plenty of people who would still consider them a friend.

I Am Asking About Bobit's Whereabouts. Do Not Fuck With Me. We Want It Home. Do Not Play Games.

Perhaps they do not want to go home, perhaps they wish to be free.

Do You Know Bobit Personally.

Not personally, no. There has not been nearly enough conversation for that.

Then Do Not Assume What It Wants, When We Already Know From Its Own Thoughts. We Need To Ensure That It Is Safe.

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*

[The copies come faster than they can be kicked away. They're not awfully strong on their own, but they're alarming in numbers.]

*Kishar shifts more arms to deal with the copies. Swinging them by their legs at the others works better than they had expected, but not quite as well as they had hoped*

LET ME GO LET ME GO

#// win

Hello, Hello. I Am "Two-Bit." Name Still Pending. I Assume Someone In OSHA Knows Of Bobit, My Predecessor. I Require Assistance.

What assistance do you require?

I Am To Retrieve Bobit's Remains.

And how can you be sure that there are any to find? Perhaps someone has already taken them. Perhaps they're not even dead. Perhaps their death was so thorough that there's nothing left.

I Am Sure That It Is Not Your Intention, But You Sound Very Suspicious. What Is Your Name?

Call me Amy.

Hmm. And Have You Encountered Bobit? I Am Assuming You Have, So When Did You Last See It?

Last I saw them they were well on their way to breaking free of their programming.

[Two-bit claps twice, slowly.]

You would be surprised at how willing and capable the people here are when it comes to saving those that they care about. I highly doubt that little Bobit is truly dead.

Gem speaks with the confidence of someone who knows far more than is being revealed.

After The Rampage Bobit Went On, I Am Not Sure How Many Friends It Has. But Even If Bobit Is Functioning, It Was Still Badly Damaged.

Please Do Not Hide Anything From Me. It Would Not Be Wise To Impede This Investigation.

There is no act unforgivable in these walls for those apologetic enough to seek out forgiveness. Bobit likely has plenty of people who would still consider them a friend.

I Am Asking About Bobit's Whereabouts. Do Not Fuck With Me. We Want It Home. Do Not Play Games.

Perhaps they do not want to go home, perhaps they wish to be free.

#// if amy keeps this up twobit may punch gem. which imo would be fair. not fully justified but fair

Do You Know Bobit Personally.

Hello, Hello. I Am "Two-Bit." Name Still Pending. I Assume Someone In OSHA Knows Of Bobit, My Predecessor. I Require Assistance.

What assistance do you require?

I Am To Retrieve Bobit's Remains.

And how can you be sure that there are any to find? Perhaps someone has already taken them. Perhaps they're not even dead. Perhaps their death was so thorough that there's nothing left.

I Am Sure That It Is Not Your Intention, But You Sound Very Suspicious. What Is Your Name?

Call me Amy.

Hmm. And Have You Encountered Bobit? I Am Assuming You Have, So When Did You Last See It?

Last I saw them they were well on their way to breaking free of their programming.

[Two-bit claps twice, slowly.]

You would be surprised at how willing and capable the people here are when it comes to saving those that they care about. I highly doubt that little Bobit is truly dead.

Gem speaks with the confidence of someone who knows far more than is being revealed.

After The Rampage Bobit Went On, I Am Not Sure How Many Friends It Has. But Even If Bobit Is Functioning, It Was Still Badly Damaged.

Please Do Not Hide Anything From Me. It Would Not Be Wise To Impede This Investigation.

There is no act unforgivable in these walls for those apologetic enough to seek out forgiveness. Bobit likely has plenty of people who would still consider them a friend.

I Am Asking About Bobit's Whereabouts. Do Not Fuck With Me. We Want It Home. Do Not Play Games.

HELLO, FLESH-THING.

*Kishar looks up, looking for the source of the voice.*

Uh. Hello? You Are Not Exactly Super Accurate On The Flesh Part But Hi Anyway?

TCH. ALL YOU ORGANICS ARE THE SAME TO ME, SO I DON'T CARE. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Pretty Sure I Am Like, Definitely Inorganic But Whatever. What Do You Need?

*They tilt their head, idly*

WHAT ARE YOU THEN?

[It is now entirely focused on figuring out what Kishar is so it can be right.]

Not Important Right Now. Right Now I Would Rather Focus On What You Need

I NEED YOU TO FIND THE PARTS OF A ROBOT FOR ME. IT IS CALLED BOBIT. I ASSUME YOU HAVE "SEEN IT AROUND."

Maybe I Have. Why Do You Want It?

*They tilt their head, idly. There's a curiosity in their gaze, but also a firmness*

*Usually they wouldn't be so persnickety about word meanings and everything, but this stranger is rude, and Kishar is not fond of rudeness.*

I AM, BY DESIGN, THE MOST ALL KNOWING A BEING CAN BE WITHOUT BEING GOD. BUT YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND, WEAK LIFEFORM THAT YOU ARE.

AHEM.

I AM MOTHERBOARD, THE SUPREME AI OF M.O.R.E., WHO DEVELOPED BOBIT. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE.

I Have A Pager.

*They do indeed have a phone, but they don't feel like telling this being that. They do have a pager though*

And One Of My Friends Is A God. So, You Know. Not As Impressive. Funny You Should Claim Me To Be Weak, Considering You Do Not Even Know What I Am. Ah, Such Is The Failings Of Ego

[The computer makes a clicking sound.]

WHATEVER. WHERE IS YOUR PAGER. NEVERMIND. I'LL FIND IT.

[There are a few seconds of pause.]

OH. YOU DO HAVE A PHONE. I FOUND YOUR NUMBER. CHECK YOUR PHONE.

Fine. I Know Very Few Electronic-Based Beings, And Yet Even Those Few Make It Clear That Your Horrendous Manners Are Hardly Due To The Manner Of Your Existance.

*They pull out their phone, idly. It's clear they don't think much of the computer right now*

[There is a text from an unknown number. It's an image that isn't necessarily sending right, so it needs to be downloaded.]

MY MANNERS ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. ALSO, I WAS PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS. TAKE IT UP WITH MY DEVELOPERS.

*Kishar looks at their phone.*

Why Are You Sending Me An Image. How Do I Know This Is Not A Virus, Huh? I Like My Phone, And You Are Causing Me Problems Already. What Are You Sending Me.

*Honestly they're a little annoyed at this computer. Maybe they can try and create a rift inside the computer, so they can physically kick this jerk's ass...?*

[Kishar gets a phone call instead of a verbal response.]

*Kishar answers the phone, knowing full well that it's the computer, and puts on their best customer service voice.*

Hi, You Have Reached The Official OSHA Janitorial Reception. No-One Is Available To Take Your Call Right Now, Please Wait, And We Will Get Back To You Shortly.

*They then begin to hum the most incredibly "Elevator Music" tune they can think of*

[Their phone begins to download an app called MOTHERBOARD while said computer giggles electronically.]

*Kishar pauses for a moment, hangs up the call, and then proceeds to turn off both wifi and data on their phone, just to make things difficult.*

Hey, Have You Ever Heard The Sound Of An AI Getting Punched In The Face?

WHAT

[The voice comes from the phone. MOTHERBOARD opens up the app, revealing a |:[ face against a black screen.]

*Kishar bears their teeth in a sharp grin, fangs glittering in a decidedly inhumane way*

Neither Have I! But I Think I Would Love To Hear It Right Now.

*They concentrate, trying to pinpoint the computer. If they managed to enter someone's mind, this shouldn't be too hard, right?*

I DO NOT HAVE A PHYSICAL FORM THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE STOP

Who Said You Needed A Physical Form?

*They keep concentrating, focusing on the computer's voice. Just a bit more...*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW

*Kishar continues to concentrate, and... there! A rift appears in front of them! They grin, and step through, idly hoping that this is the right place. It would be so embarrassing if it wasn't.*

NO! NO! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO!

Oh, You Know.

*They do not elaborate. Instead, they walk closer, clearly with ominous intent.*

Surprised You Do Not Recognise Where You Are Though. After All, I Am The Only One Who Has Moved.

WHAT?? HOW????

Oh, You Know. Just Something I Can Do. A Skill.

*They move forwards, and grab Motherboard's shoulder, tightly, staring unblinkingly at it.*

Something It Seems You Lack. Now.

*They smile, bearing sharp fangs*

I Think It Is Time For You To Stand Down.

W-WAIT...

Will You Stand Down?

[Motherboard wails, falling back on its ass with its arms on its stomach.]

GH... I-I'LL NEVER STAND DOWN TO YOU.

Is That So?

*They loom over Motherboard, grinning widely*

Well Then... I Suppose You Only Have Yourself To Blame For What Comes Next.

[Motherboard does not care to take note of anything other than the fact that it is being attacked.]

[An alarm sounds as it flips over somewhat pitifully, aiming to kick out the Janitor's feet from under them. In the distance, copies of Motherboard's form materialize.]

[Motherboard bites Kishar. It could do that?]

[The copies of Motherboard charge at the two of them, unbothered and even encouraged by the action.]

*Kishar hisses, but doesn't waver. Instead, they basically use Motherboard like a particually angry baseball bat, swinging them at the copies when they get close*

[Motherboard grabs onto one of the copies, which tries to yank it away from Kishar while the others continue their attack.]

*Kishar keeps their grip on Motherboard, kicking at the copies as best they can.*