Chapter 09 || “United at Last”
Mutant Apocalypse 5: Black Masks
Donnie has been gone for 8 months, making everyone believe he is dead. But now that he is in front of his potential mate, how does she feel about his return?
Now that Amber knows the truth about her brother, Duke and Vv went upstairs to sort out the garden seeds they had found earlier today. This means Osa and Donnie are left downstairs on the couch, staring into space and not saying a word to each other. It was just... weird to know that Donnie was right here in front of Osa's eyes, breathing and healing. He isn't dead.
But the thing is, Osa is nervous around him, almost scared to even speak to him in the face sometimes because he changed. She doesn't know if he responds to certain things differently. Of course, Osa was with him while he hid behind a mask but didn't know it was him. If she trusted Donnie behind a darkened mask, then she can relearn to trust him the way he is now.
"Th-The whole time?" Osa started softly, not making eye contact with Don.
Donnie turned his head to her, curious about her sudden sentence. "What?"
"The whole time... you...you were alive?" She finally met his gaze, waiting for him to answer her. Osa's eyes are tired, heavy, and nearly ready to close from such exhaustion. But she had to know where Don had been this whole time.
His eyes soften as he looked down at his lap, feeling awful about this whole situation. He knows that the choices he made affected Osa in many different ways and he hated how he let it happen. In his own defense, he felt like it was the right thing to do. "Yeah..."
Now Osa is going to ask the one million dollar question: "W-Why didn't you come back?" She sat forward on the couch, getting a better look at his facial features.
Don couldn't find words. He shrugged at her, honestly not knowing how to answer this question. "I'll be honest, Osa... I didn't try." He paused for a short moment. "By the time I got lost, my main focus was to live... and I was flushed out of the area by infected-- I didn't have a chance to find you all. There was no way for me to come back because I was becoming dangerous."
Osa narrows her eyes, not completely understanding what he had said to her. "Dangerous, how?"
"I'd be a threat. Just seven days after I got separated from you guys, I wasn't-- I started changing. And it obviously wasn't for the greater good. I always had to do something with myself." Donnie was trying his absolute best to remember those first few days when he became a whole different mutant turtle. If he thought hard enough, he can visually see himself throwing his truthful personality away. A single tear fell from his right eye, soaking into the mask Osa had dropped just many days ago. "My behavior became so violent that I wanted to destroy anything that came my way." He explained to her, still locking his eyes on her.
In the two months that Osa had known Donnie in the past, she found it hard to believe that Don would become dangerous. If only she knew what he went through in the past. She only remembered him as the comforter, the intelligent, and caring mutant turtle whom she met in December last year. She felt like Donnie wanted her to remember him that way, but it's totally impossible now that he is here in front of her, appearing and acting differently... Osa is going to get to know Donnie in a whole new way from now. "And..." Osa eyed the scars on his face, the scars closer to his mouth. "Th-Those scars?" She pointed, wondering what their meaning was.
Don was ashamed of the scars he had on his face. He can't get rid of them-- they're part of him now. "I don't want to talk about that..." He says gently.
The shapeshifter lowered her head, trying to process the fresh information. If Don explained that he was a dangerous individual, then is he still that way? "Are you that way now?" She asked. "Dangerous?"
Don shook his head. "N-Not really. When I found the twins, things got better... in a way."
Osa's eyes filled up with tears and hid her face with her hands. "I'm so sorry." She sobbed.
The turtle shook his head, leaning forward with her. "Sorry for what?"
"Not being there for you when you needed someone. If I had just jumped off that RV back at Hopeswell then I would have saved you from all of that." The tears just soaked her face, causing her to feel guilty-- feeling like she probably could have helped Donnie steer away from those terrible 200 days. He probably would still be the mutant she met if she saved him. Of course, being in the apocalypse, people will change but not like this! Don literally went through some kind of hell.
"Osa," Donnie says, scooting closer to her and moving her hands away from her face. "It isn't your fault. I kept myself away because survival was on my mind and not once did I think about going back..." He pauses. She met his eyes with hers and just admired them as she always had. "But I did think about you when I was able. Even when I lost the real Donatello." He said. With all the chaos and brutality that went on in his brain, Donnie still thought about her? It sounded incredible yet impossible. "I'm the one who should be sorry." For the first time since Osa had been reunited with Donnie, his eyes watered, full of sorrow and regret. "I'm so sorry, Osa. I'm sorry that I-- that I didn't come back to you or anyone else."
Osa broke down harder, hiccupping and struggling to keep her breath steady. She survived for eight months without her friend by her side and she suffered many brutal weeks, crying because she believed he died. She thought that she would have to continue to live without him in her life and she was getting used to it. Osa fell onto Donnie's plastron and he held her tightly.
Don may not be as emotional as her, but he understands what Osa is feeling. Since his change, he is numb in most bitter-sweet situations. He embraces the shifter with his left arm, frustrated that he can't hold her with two arms. As he rested his head on top of hers, Don shut his eyes, feeling the waterfall of tears fall out of his eyes. "I'm so, so sorry..."
Together, Osa and Don shared a moment, crying against each other's bodies. At the same time, they were happy to see and be with each other again, but what hurt the most, they know that Donatello will never come back or be the same.
It's like taking the first fix of drugs, a first snort, or the first injection... once someone takes the first step into a hard mental issue, it is difficult to return from it. And most of the time, the person is never the same.
Whatever Donnie's mind had been sucked into in the past, it was like a drug of some kind. Now, he can't come back as who he was, who he was born as.
There is no chance of him recovering from this.
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