[oslooc]

I’m so upset. Highly. Upset.

My resolutions of my past New Years have always been to get skinny. Get the perfect body. (All to no avail) but that has been my ‘wish’. Now I am 23 and ending 2018 with a different resolution and that is to invest in myself.

I’ve spent my years wishing for a perfect exterior so that I could get the approval of others. My thinking was that if others approved of me then I would approve of myself. When I turned 21 I began to ‘date’ and I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve learned that my insecurities cannot be covered with a relationship. I’ve learned that I cannot be in a healthy relationship without learning to completely love myself. Others may be capable of being in relationships while battling with self esteem issues but I’ve learned that I am not one of them.

I’ve dated three different men this year and each one has taught me something different. One taught me love one taught me patience and one taught me pain. Lmfao just kidding but forreal I’ve been hurt three different ways. Each of them has taught me different things about myself that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Theyve allowed me to recognize my struggles and what I need to work on.

I’ve longed for love. I’ve longed for someone to love me so deep that my insecurities would be a thing of my past. Of a love that would never break my trust.

I have come to realize that the love I long for is one I must hold for myself. I have yet to build that bond with myself. To hold that love so deep for myself that nobody could break it.

So that is my goal for the new year. Is to continue to invest in myself. To give myself the treatment and love that is long overdue. To give myself the same treatment that i have selflessly given to others only for it to be taken and trampled upon. I will teach myself and I will learn.

So here’s to 2019 🥂

New Year, Same Me. But better 💕

[spoonofconsciousness]

#NoFearFriday

5 Ways To Identify & Heal Your Insecurities

Insecurities are created by fears that are derived from the ego and they can make us do terrible things. Fear of abandonment can be the root of domestic/sexual violence, fear of the truth can cause us to live a life of lies and fear of the unknown can keep us trapped in our comfort zones. Here’s how you can identify & heal your own insecurities:

1. Meditation - be present with yourself. When you’re completely present with yourself and you’ve learnt how to quiet the mind you can begin asking yourself important questions such as “why did that person annoy me?” 

These questions reveal much about the way we see ourselves - becoming the observer of our behaviour and thoughts allows us to take a step back and acknowledge when we’re living through the ego. The ego wants to feel safe at all times, but is constantly threatened - quiet time with yourself can help to reduce the ego’s influence over us.

2. Mindfulness - catch yourself projecting out of the now. Projecting into the past or future is a sign that the now is uncomfortable - fear of the now is an insecurity that must be acknowledged. “Why do I find it difficult to be present?” is a great question to ask when you notice yourself projecting outside the now.

Being mindful of one’s own thoughts and feelings is a great way to begin addressing the insecurities and fears that hold us back in life. Introspective mindfulness consists of us paying attention to what angers, irritates or hurts us and acknowledging why we feel this way. This will reveal what we can do to heal ourselves. 

3. Arguments - how do others make you feel? When we have an argument or altercation with someone our ego is usually damaged during the conflict. This is where our resentment toward the other person comes from. “Who do they think they are?” “How dare they?” - these are common ideas that are spawned from the ego because it doesn’t want to feel inferior.

Acknowledge that there is no other - this external conflict is a representation of an inner conflict between the ego and the spirit. This “other” has been sent to you so you can check yourself and heal the insecurity that exists within you. 

4. Reflection - to know where you’re going, you’ve got to know where you’ve been. The only time looking into the past can be helpful is to identify where we’ve been and what we’d like to avoid going forward. Reflect on your past and understand where your behaviour has taken you - this can be uncomfortable because we’re being called to question ourselves and the ego doesn’t like being “wrong”.

Do not see your mistakes as wrong - see them instead as lessons that have led you to where you are today. Learning from our mistakes is the best way to create the life of our dreams - but acknowledging where we need to improve is something the ego dislikes. This is why so many people are ruled by their insecurities and consequently remain victims of circumstance.

5. Nature - are the plants or animals insecure? Observe the flowers - do they hide their bloom? Nature has much to teach us, I see that the pineapple embodies the idea of being secure in oneself - it stands tall, wears a crown and is sweet on the inside.

Be more like the pineapple - acknowledge your greatness and stand tall with your head held high, wear a crown made of pride in yourself and be in love with what makes you sweet.

Insecurities are born of fear & self-love is the cure.

Peace & positive vibes.

[oslooc]

I wish I was raised in a family where family came first and others came second. Where I was taught to love my heritage who I am how I look so therefore no matter what I do I have that strong foundation instilled in me that can't be shaken. I wish I wasn't filled with arrogance and pride. I can wish all this but also I can be the first to break this pattern and teach my children the way of living I wish I was taught. And the only way to teach that is to live it so I guess I better get to learning

[oslooc]

How can one want love and affection but also reject once given the opportunity to receive it

[oslooc]

I hate drinking so much but I love being drunk. Bounty Rum is 58%. I'm halfway through my glass and I'm feelin it like a mf. I found my drink 🤘🏾☺️

[oslooc]

over here lit at work and my older coworker gunna come up to me looking worried saying I've been spaced out these past couple of days, if I'm okay.

So sweet but hella killed my high lmao I started tripping I was like awwww fuck this nigga no I'm high he bouta report my ass lmao no more at work for me 😂😂😂😂😂 I hella remember coming to work that first morning lit and everyone was saying morning to me cus I say hi to them every morning and I was hella paranoid saying hi to them and I was thinking why the FUCK do I speak to everyone in the morning 🙄🙄😂😂😂😭😭😭😭

[mcdonaldsstaff]

people who scream when they see their friends at school

[oslooc]

I will try my hardest to never compare my kids to others or to have a competitive attitude with people around me because I don't want them to grow up always second guessing themselves and constantly worry about how to measure up to others

Because this shit sucks so bad 😠

[oslooc]

[niconiconiko]

Candid of my 22nd Birthday. #35mm (at Los Angeles, California)

[oslooc]

im really upset that i dont love reading like i used to. Reading used to be my escape but now i find myself bored quickly. I hate it because now my phone is my 'escape' and its not healthy at all. I want to cut off my internet bc i have books in my closet i would love to read but they do not interest me...

[pro-hoeing-blog]

Hoe Tips

Okay so these are tips that can make a hoes life so much easier. Enjoy 💕💕

1. Throw away any shaving cream use coconut butter or oil to shave, than apply oil after you dry off. BAM. NO STUBBLE. NO BURN. IT’S THE SHIT.

2. Don’t use shaving cream or coconut butter for your coochie. Use Johnson’s baby oil instead. You’ll have no razor burn.

3. There isn’t anything wrong with your natural coochie smell, but if you want to taste sweet eat cranberries or pineapple. SHIT WORKS.

4. Stretch marks on inner thighs? Use Vaseline and coconut oil over night EVERY NIGHT to get rid of them.

5. Men’s razors >>> womens razors. Cheaper, closer shave and cleaner.

6. Pee after sex. It’ll help prevent any STI’s. Don’t hold it in.

7. Carry your own condoms. You’re a strong independent hoe and carry your Trojans proud.

8. If you’re braking out buy tea tree oil.

9. KAT VON D LIQUID LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF. IT WILL NOT COME OFF. PLUS IT’S MATTE.

10. Matte makeup (foundation, lipstick, eyeliner) all lasts better against sheets for sex.

11. Want longer nails to scratch with? GARLIC ON NAIL BEDS. COCONUT OIL ON CUTICLES. GROW BITCHES GROW.

12. To make eyebrows fuller put on coconut oil before bed.

13. Add ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath. It’ll reset the balance of your coochie’s PH. You’ll feel and smell r8 8/8

14. Run a hot bath. Favourite bubble bath. Soak. EXFOLIATE. When you get out put coconut oil all over your body.

15. Honey + white sugar - lip scrub Coconut oil + brown sugar - body exfoliator

16. Dry feet are nasty af. Soak feet in hot water for 10 minutes before using a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin.

17. For extra soft feet, do above and put on heavy duty lotion, socks and sleep.

18. To hide a hickey. Green concealer all over, foundation and powder. GONE.

19. To remove blackheads use charcoal based soap. And use natural beaded exfoliants

20. If you want your coochie to be BABY SOFT get yoni oil. Shit is magical.

21. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage coconut oil in every night + put in a bun. Wash out in the morning.

22. Put your undies in three categories. 1. I’m getting fucked tonight 2. I could be spontaneously fucked. 3. Getting none today

23. On the days leading up to and after your period use a pad on your fav undies to stop staining.

24. Eyebrows can be on fleek fucking in a forest. Get Anastasia dipbrow pomade. Lifesaver.

25. 6-10 green tea bags in a bath will help energise skin and refresh. Skin will glow and be soft.

26. If you’re about to get dicked down DON’T wear cotton undies. It will trap lint in the crevice of your thighs.

27. Chlorasceptic throat numbing medication helps with deep throating.

28. DRINK WATER. cliché af but keep coochie smelling good and brightens skin.

29. Lemon juice and baking soda will remove any cum stains from clothes. I got you 😏

30. It’s your body. Don’t fucking listen to anyone

31. Shave your coochie under water

32. Put baby oil in your bath - baby soft duck yeah

33. Have a special coochie cleaning day. You’ll not regret it

[tastefullyoffensive]

Be the person your dog thinks you are. (via lincie)

[oslooc]

Im going to watch khaled everyday so he could remind me not to eat when i smoke

[oslooc]

If I could get high all the time and not have the munchies that would b the best

[oslooc]

today was just the wierdest day. I have been feeling good about work but today I felt down and it seemed out of no where. I did manage hiding it better but I kept feeling as if I was 2 seconds away from crying. Then at the end of my shift I suddenly felt happy and energetic. I just am getting tired of these mood swings. At least I am managing to hide my sadness better. I hate being a grouch.

[gazikodzo]

Learn it.

[nakizzz]

Girl