been dealing with some personal stuff that's had me knee-deep in grief for a while, so I thought I'd counteract all that by diving back into my ikemen faves...
suffice it to say, I've fallen and I can't get up !!
It’s sad to hear about TT since I was so looking forward to it. I had wished that it was being worked on secretly. However, I’m glad at least to see that you’re okay and still creating out here 🤍
Have you checked out Fields of Mistria? Lots of Stardew players have gotten into that recently and it’s pretty cute. Only downside is that it’s Early Access.
You and me both, nonny. If things change, I promise you'll hear from us 🥺❤️
I have not yet tried Fields of Mistria, but I've heard good things about it from one of my friends!! I might just give it a try, we'll see!! :D
Tam! I missed seeing your posts it feels like it’s been forever. Do you have any other social media that you post to where we can keep up with you?
Also if it’s okay to ask, was Tempest Tides canceled?
Hello hello!!! I post much more regularly over on my main tumblr account @croquettish!!! I've also been writing pretty consistently, just about every fandom under the sun :D
I'm not sure if I'm at liberty to say what exactly happened with Tempest Tides, but unless something big changes, it's unlikely that anything will happen on that front for the foreseeable future :(
for any fellow SA survivors worried about Mitsunari's current ES in SLBP, it doesn't come up at all!! so no need for concern there despite the description and despite what we learn from his MS.
if anyone wants more details, I will put spoilers under the cut:
MC ends up being attacked, but it's just an attempt on her life, nothing more serious. she ends up feeling serious fear of men after that, which certainly sets of Mitsunari's issues with his own past, but even that isn't gone in to beyond the fact that his mother was physically attacked.
hey so remember when I said I was gonna hyperanalyze all the Toshihisa moments in that Shigezane story
anyway buckle up it's going down
a brief recap, to start!
the story starts with Shige and MC finding out that they're going to be meeting Toshihisa so that the Oda and Oshu can feel each other out. they decide to meet up more or less halfway at an inn which would be considered neutral territory for them both
MC is brought along to this despite her trepidations because she has heard of Toshihisa through Toshiie. this is... more or less meaningless as expected during their first meeting bc Toshihisa acts like himself and is stiff and formal at best, taciturn and stand-offish at worst
later that evening on day 1, however, MC runs into Toshihisa having an episode in the hall
though Toshihisa allows all of this out of necessity, he's clearly not happy about it whatsoever, in part because he feels like he's being a terrible burden upon mc
MC subsequently lets it slip that she is aware of the fact that he has a weak constitution and that his body is often unkind to him, which Toshihisa is less than amused about until he learns how MC came to know this little factoid
here is where things first get interesting!!!!!!!!!
this is a man who absolutely knows what MC means to his brother!! he is fully aware of the pining and the yearning his brother went through!! knowing that, it's no wonder that Toshihisa immediately brushes off MC's further attempts at kindness and tries to leave. this person who has just shown him incredible kindness and consideration, who already knows him well enough to know his weaknesses, this person whom Toshihisa has only heard wonderful things about, is dangerous to stay around!!
unfortunately for Toshihisa, his escape attempt from the conversation fails immediately and spectacularly:
enter Shigezane!!!!!!!
ignoring the ridiculous trope of "oh no! one of us fell on top of the other and now we're in a suspiciously compromising position that someone else might misconstrue!" Shigezane is truly a Chad here. like we all knew he was great but damn. what a man. instantly rushes to Toshihisa's aid while entirely ignoring the jealousy-bait bc ofc he trusts MC!!! even though we later learn that it freaked him out in the moment!!
this is also inconvenient for Toshihisa, however!!!
after all, Shigezane has no reason to be acting this kind and considerate opposite him, a near-stranger! Shigezane could have easily assumed the worst of him but he immediately rushed to his aid and even doubled down on the fact that not only should he always accept this amount of selflessness, he should continue to do so now, something he is clearly not used to (at least with near-strangers)
NOW WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL THAT..... but Toshihisa is clearly someone with a tremendous amount of guilt and baggage surrounding his health. at one point in this conversation, MC and Shigezane have a silent conference between the two of them before resolving to spend time with Toshihisa so that he'll have time to recover, and it's fairly obvious that Toshihisa catches on to this kindness pretty immediately
(pls also note one of my favorite dialogue choices for characters like Toshihisa illustrated here: the deadpan period-annotated question!!!!)
MC then leaves to get everyone blankets and tea only for Toshihisa to unexpectedly invite her into the conversation
(there's a small tidbit here that would allow for serious reading into with extremely plausible deniability, but if you squint it's possible to read this as disappointment that MC immediately sat next to Shigezane. at this point, after all, Toshihisa is unaware of the fact that the two are romantically involved; up until now, MC has only introduced herself as a maid at Omori Castle)
the two get to talking more, some about Toshihisa's health, and Shigezane goes out of his way to once again thank Toshihisa for traveling all that way in spite of his health, which earns him this delightful response that is then!! quickly amended!!!:
that first remark is classic Toshihisa. it's possible to construe his follow-up as just a matter of necessary politeness, but I really don't think so!! mainly because he never feels the need to add little remarks like that in literally any other instance
from there, the conversation shifts to MC's knowledge of Toshihisa via Toshiie, and Shigezane, seeming to have caught on to the fact that Toshihisa and MC are gelling particularly well, remarks on this... only for Toshihisa to immediately deny it.
... or does he?
the narration mentions that he does so "coldly," (even if MC quickly amends this), so I'd just straight up call that a defense mechanism!! anything to keep people at arm's length, you know!!
needless to say, this fails almost immediately
MC puts him in a difficult position here. he tries to push people away and keep them at arm's length (further if possible tbh), but this girl already knows him in certain ways just by merit of knowing his brother. there's an almost artificial closeness here, one that trumps his earlier attempt at brushing it off considerably
not to mention that this random girl knows quite a lot of things about his brother that Toshihisa himself doesn't know. another reason to talk to her and keep her around!! this is terrible!!!
fast-forward to the next morning, and Toshihisa gets an unfortunate awakening in the form of learning that MC and Shigezane are together
he pulls himself together pretty quickly (he is a professional tsun, after all), but we don't see that expression too often on Toshihisa. this must have really, really taken him aback for SOME reason!!!
(if at this point anyone is calling me delusional for reading into things this much I invite you to remember that a) this is an otome game, b) these event stories very much centered on the concept of jealousy, and c) what you're about to learn)
the three of them head into town after Toshihisa invites them to one of his favorite teahouses, where, even though Toshihisa is third-wheeling, we find out that Toshihisa is extremely adept at pining from afar:
Shigezane notices this immediately, because!! lbr!! how could he not!!!!
as happy as he ends up being in that scene regarding the praise MC receives, he is not super duper thrilled at the way in which Toshihisa is looking at her and tbh I can't blame him!!! this guy is clearly falling for his girl, and fast!!!
this event story obviously features unrequited pining here, Toshihisa → MC, but shortly after this, MC gets so distracted thinking about Toshihisa that she trips on a rock:
Shigezane feels jealous enough after this point that he runs away in shame and MC has to run to catch up to him with Toshihisa following rather closely behind, which... why??? WHY WOULD HE FOLLOW THEM IF NOT BC HIS OWN FEELINGS ARE PART OF THIS???
the other option here ofc is that he feels personally responsible for Shigezane's state, in which case he would be extremely well-aware of exactly how he's been looking at and acting opposite MC!!!
Shigezane says quite a bit more than this before Toshihisa cuts in, most of it him berating himself for being jealous to begin with and being rude to Toshihisa, but what's important here is the part where Shigezane said the quiet part out loud!!!!!!!
presumably, Toshihisa overheard this!!!!! and then he DOES NOT DENY IT
instead he chooses to make me increasingly unhinged by saying this:
let's break this down in order!!!
OH, HE GETS IT, DOES HE??? I can only assume he saw this coming because of course he did, he's been looking at MC like she's the world since that incident on the veranda!!!
oh so exactly his opposite, huh??? how much do you dislike yourself toshihisa
I AM ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!! it's not that Shigezane has nothing to worry about because Toshihisa isn't interested, it's only because MC isn't interested in him!!!!!!!!!!!!
you'd think the take-away from that evening together that Shigezane would have seemed idk more important but nope!! he sure is playing second banana compared to MC!!
that said, I wouldn't count on MC not being interested!!! MC CLEARLY HAS GREAT TASTE, AND TBH WHO CAN BLAME HER
anyway absolutely unhinged unrequited pining on Toshihisa's part, it's been like nine months and I'm still not over it
hi tam! i missed getting notifications of your posts :( i hope we get to see more of you. how’s life? what are you playing lately?
🥺🥺🥺 anon!!! this is so nice!!! honestly it's been half-depression and half-me being swallowed up wholesale by fe3h (10/10 can only recommend)
I still play slbp every day!! toshihisa's event story broke me when it dropped and I'm now suffering anew and I didn't even KNOW TO EXPECT IT FROM THIS ES 😩😩😩
ikerev broke my heart and I ragequit ikevamp over christmas (not kidding, it was incredibly stupid but in hindsight I don't regret it and tbh I'm still mad!!)
love365 stopped putting out anything new for my favorite series so I haven't poked my head in there much lately, but so long as voltage keeps slbp coming I will be satisfied!!!
how have YOU been, nonny?? do you have any recs to throw my way?? I'm going to be super over the next few months (gonna be moving and starting a new phd program!!) but I'm not totally opposed to starting sth new 👀
I hope you’re ready because I have a ton of receipts to back this up which means that this obviously contains spoilings from toshiie’s route/ES and is thus going under a cut!
tangentwithtanner
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
2087
origamiaround
titsay
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
