Cupid Parasite Review (minor spoilers below cut)
From the game box: "In the heart of Los York, the stylish Cupid Corporation marriage agency leads singles from their first date to their wedding vows. Our heroine is a top advisor there with one secret--she's really Cupid! Eager to prove her matchmaking skills, she's challenged with the hopeless Parasite 5 bachelors. Their only chance is to broadcast their romantic foibles on a reality show, but... In finding love for the Parasite 5, will Cupid really find love herself?"
Cupid Parasite is a Compile Heart game published by Idea Factory, localized by Idea Factory International for Nintendo Switch.
Overall Score: 8/10. I'll be honest, when I first opened the game and started playing, I was not a fan. I found the characters grating, and (I know it's the cynic in me) the heroine, Lynette Mirror, overly optimistic. However, when I actually gave it a chance and reminded myself that this is a romcom that doesn't take itself too seriously, I began to enjoy it a lot more. The strong personalities of the Parasite 5 became endearing (in most cases) rather than an annoyance, and Lynette became one of my favorites!
I thought the game interface was a little too busy, though. There are a lot of clashing patterns and colors that make it a bit of a headache to navigate. Additionally, when making a selection on the title screen, one of the LIs speaks depending on your selection, but there's no translations anywhere, so if you don't know any Japanese, it's a bit of a waste and a shame.
I do have one relatively minor pet peeve with the mythology of the game. It ultimately doesn't matter, but it bugged me and I want to complain, haha. Greek mythology plays a huge role in the story--which is something I love! However, what I don't love is the emphasis that it's Greek but then turn around and use mostly the Roman names for the gods. But not even all of them! Cupid, Jupiter, Venus, Mars, Minerva, just to name a few, but then there's Poseidon, who is the only one I can remember off the top of my head being referred to by his Greek name and not his culture vulture Roman name. Venus calls her Eros, but that's really it. I dunno, it's silly but annoyed me.
Love Interests/Narrative: The main goal of the game and the LIs is that they need to get married for one reason or another, however none of them seem all that serious about finding a partner. Much like other games I've played, I didn't love all of the love interests. That said, even if they're not all my favorite, I generally at least like them all in passing even if I would never replay their routes.
Not so here.
The recommended play order, which I followed is thus:
Ryuki -> Shelby -> Gill -> Raul -> Allan -> | Secret
My personal character ranking is:
Raul <3 -> Allan -> Shelby = Ryuki -> Secret ->->->->-> Gill
While personal route ranking is:
Raul -> Shelby -> Ryuki -> Allan -> Secret -> Gill
The Secret character is the only route that it locked at the beginning of the game, and the progression above allows the lore to come out more naturally.
Ryuki F. Keisaiin - Ryuki is the youngest LI (19), and I would think he's probably the one most people would find the most difficult to like. he was enrolled at Cupid Corp my his older sister as a way to help his fashion career--though he doesn't understand at all how getting married is supposed to help with any of that. He's incredibly opinionated and not even remotely tactful about it. As a fashion designer, he has very high standards for physical beauty, even for himself, which understandably earns him the title of the Glamour Parasite. He also has synesthesia, which gives him a unique understanding of colors, but he also sees people as colors and greets everyone he has to interact with as a hex color code--which I honestly found hilarious and kept looking up what colors he saw others as. When those colors are, well, ugly, he literally can't see others as people and will often straight up refuse to speak to them. He even greets Lynette with a spritz of facial mist, lol. That said, he became one of my faves~ You eventually learn why he's like that, and he even lets up a bit in the end (though only a bit).
Ultimately, I think Ryuki is adorable, even if I think he's the least realistic LI for Lynette. He falls hard when he finally does, and it was genuinely fun to see him floundering when he's confused at his own feelings. There are "good" ends for each character, the "best" end and the "good" end. While I definitely prefer his best end, because they not only end up together (of course), but Ryuki comes to understand a lot of things about himself and his family that he likely wouldn't have otherwise. Him falling in love was definitely necessary for his growth. His good ending, though, I thought was cute! I can't explain it much without delving into more spoiler territory than I'd prefer, but I will say that I really enjoyed the good ending's CG~
Shelby Snail - Shelby is the young CEO of Cupid Corp, as well as Lynette's boss. For the entirety of the common route, he's known among the Parasite 5 as the Prestige Parasite, as his only real concern is increasing his own prestige and being SS rank in literally everything. He's the only member who's identity is a mystery. (I use the word "mystery" loosely, because it's rather obvious from the way he acts and involves himself with the Parasite 5 who he is.) Despite his reputation as a loving and devoted husband, he's actually single and keeps this fact a secret for fear of ruining his company. You learn in his route what happened and how this misunderstanding came to be, but the point is he needs to find a wife so that his lie never comes to light. Despite his attractive appearance and successful/lucrative career, he's found it difficult to find a partner because he uses a proxy to go one dates for him, not understanding that most women won't marry a man they've never met. There's also the added obstacle of whether or not he can trust his potential wife to keep his secret, so it's just a mess all around that Lynette helps with.
Shelby is another character I found very endearing, and his and Lynette's relationship was one of my favorites. They both value their work above most things and they both want the company to succeed, so they end up working very well together--both literally and figuratively. They embodied what I would consider a power couple and I thought their relationship progression was very natural. If Allan wasn't who he was, Shelby would rank second in my faves, but his route itself definitely cemented itself there.
Gill Lovecraft - Gill is a freelance writer and the ex-college roommate of Lynette. He was the first human Lynette made friends with when she descended from Celestia (the realm of the gods) to the Human Realm and taught her how to behave like a human (though he was under the impression that she was merely a sheltered girl from a wealthy family). He's also known as the Lovelorn Parasite, as he can't seem to get over his ex (who isn't really his ex and is very obviously Lynette; you learn that in, like, the first chapter of the common route, lol). Gill embodies the concept of a mother hen, he genuinely cares about Lynette and wants to spoil her, and that's about where my grace for him ends.
I hate Gill. I just can't get myself to like him in any way. I find him obsessive, overbearing, and just straight up annoying. He's definitely a character that isn't for everyone, and from what I understand, he actually ranks last in popularity among Westerners. He had decent potential as a concept, but I just couldn't get over his personality. I actually skimmed most of his route because he skeeved me out so bad. His route itself also relies heavily on flashbacks to his and Lynette's university days, which I can see some people disliking, but I actually didn't mind them at all because you got to see how his love for Lynette grew. Gill just does too much, and while I'm not unsympathetic to his feelings, he sacrifices practically everything for the sake of Lynette. Personally, I wouldn't want my significant other to abandon all their hopes and dreams for my sake. Gill isn't objectively bad or anything, but I just can't with him.
Raul Aconite - Known as the Obsessed Parasite, Raul is a popular Sillywood actor with archaeologist parents. He grew up going on adventures with his parents all over the world, fighting sharks, wrestling alligators, avoiding being eaten by piranhas--you name it, he's probably done it, and he uses all his experiences as sort of method acting to get into his movie roles. In fact, the only reason he joined Cupid Corp was at the behest of his manager so he could learn how to act out romance scenes for his upcoming movie (apparently his romantic acting is abysmal). But wait, why is he the Obsessed Parasite, you ask? Because mans cannot stop talking about mythology. Truly, he is a man after my own heart, and it's no wonder he ended up being my favorite LI of the game. (He apparently ranks last in the Japanese popularity polls, which I just can't understand, haha.) I found his eccentricities fun and (I know I've used this word a lot in this review) endearing. And did I mention he's a bit of a himbo? I love it! Raul is a lovable weirdo, and with Lynette actually being Cupid, she and Raul bond over mythology since she's quite well-versed it in for, well, obvious reasons.
Their relationship starts off hot and heavy. All the guys have their own Love Type, and Raul's is ludus--the type that usually prefers short-term, unserious physical relationships. Therefore, when he starts falling for Lynette, he's very confused and doesn't know what he's feeling or what to do about it. Their relationship gets physical in chapter one of his route, but it doesn't turn romantic until later. The plot of his story was probably the most outrageous/outlandish, but I definitely laughed the entire time. There were a lot of what the hell is happening right now? moments, and I loved every single one. Lynette was amazing in this route, and holy WOW the CGs in this route! *fans self* I'd add emojis, but I'm writing this up on PC, so sorry. Haha
Allan Melville - Allan is known as the Thieving Parasite, as he is obsessed with women who are already in love. From the outside, this makes him look like a huge douchebag, but in reality it's far less of an issue (well, for him; still an issue with the women whose relationships he ruins). Allan is such a sweetheart and is one of my favorite types of LI. He cares so deeply for Lynette that he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness for hers, and not in the same way as Gill. Allan does everything behind the scenes, with Lynette none the wiser at his machinations. His route is so incredibly bittersweet and reveals some fucked up truths about the gods and how the realms interact.
Allan's route could be considered the "true" route of the game, though there isn't an official "true" route. It's revealed early on in his route that he's not human at all, but actually an incubus. The plot here deviates from the rest in some pretty huge ways, and I don't want to ruin it, but he and Lynette have a far deeper connection than even she realizes. I'll also say that while I generally love the concept here, it made all the other LIs seem like side characters and made it difficult for me to see Lynette with anyone other than Allan. If this were a standalone story, though? Oh my god, I would be eating this shit up like there's no tomorrow. But because it's an otome game with multiple LIs, the concept of a "true" route really does and always has bugged me. I love his route for what it is, but I will never play it again. There's some timeskip nonsense, and unlike the other routes where the other Parasites make occasional appearances, they're completely absent from Allan's. It made me sad because (with the exception of Gill...) I love the other guys a lot, and I loved their cameos! I didn't want to like Allan because of how he acts in the common route, but damn it, he got to me.
Secret Character - Here's where there's some spoilers, so consider yourself warned.
I think if you pay attention, you can kind of predict who the secret character is. But because I love spoilers, and I'm sure someone else out there doesn't want to wait to figure it out, I'll tell you that the secret character is Jupiter. Yes, the god-king of the Dii Consentes (the major Greek gods), though he goes by Peter Flage in his human form. His route is tied to the revelations in Allan's route, but obviously ends much differently and retains the cameos of the other characters that I love so much~
This route was a wild fucking ride, from nearly start to finish. It deviates from the timeline of the first five route just a bit, but ultimately ends up largely the same in terms of Lynette working for Cupid Corp, etc. I found Jupiter (surprise, surprise!) endearing and pitiful at the same time. Peter/Jupiter ends up known as the Sensitive Parasite, because he's a bit of a scaredy cat due to having to develop an overreactive sense of danger in his youth, but he isn't actually a true member of the Parasite 5. This is the route where all the loose ends get wrapped up and everyone gets a mostly happy ending, which was nice. Also, you meet Zeus (who is not the same person as Jupiter; an interesting and unique take on Greek mythology, and I really admire how the writers played with the Greek gods like dolls, lol). His route is a lot happier than Allan's, but after playing Allan's, it just didn't feel fair for Jupiter to end up with Cupid...
Heroine: 9/10! Oh, I loved her, she was so fun. She wasn't a tremendous badass or anything, but she was awesome enough and a god with no idea of human culture. There are instances in every route where she says something so matter-of-factly that causes everyone around her to be embarrassed (because they're prudes or something), but she's totally nonplussed. She has very little sense of shame or what is or isn't acceptable in human society, and there are several scenes where someone tries to imply or make her understand that something is taboo in some way. In response, she just kind of goes "oh, huh, okay," or "but why? that doesn't make sense/that's dumb," and then ignores them, lol
There were very few instances where she truly bugged me, to the point where I can't even think of any. I know they happened because I remember the feeling, but I can't remember where/when they were. Ultimately, that must mean they didn't really matter, right? Haha.
Localization: I heard that the localization was fraught with typos and grammatical errors, but there has since been a few patches to fix these problems. So, when i played, there were very little issues. There were still a few typos, but they were so minor and few and far between that it didn't bother me or mess with the flow of the story at all. I didn't notice any inconsistencies with the written and spoken lines like I have with other games, but again, I'm not fluent. If there were issues with more complex sentences, I wouldn't have noticed.