I can't find you @ouch-thats-harsh - Tumblr Blog

i think more final girls should be forty and kind of weird and off-putting

ruthyless-deactivated20140511

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

tardis-mind-palace

Your brother is the best

elrondbaggins

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

aliceinpunderland-blog

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

motherfucker-somewhat-limited

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

motherfucker-somewhat-limited

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

probablysomethingtm

honkpilled shoomaxxer

motherfucker-somewhat-limited

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

the-haiku-bot

straight up “snorkin’ it”.

and by “it” haha, well. let’s

just say. mimimi

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

animentality

babybyebuck

This is why he always wins all the @need-him-pregnant-poll polls

patricia-taxxon

i love explaining the etymology of the word "rickroll" because the story starts with "ok, so at one point 4chan applied a filter to everyone's posts that changed the word egg to duck"

grandfather....

It's Ides of March. I approach the Chocolate Man from behind and pull out a knife, stabbing him. He turns and grins as the knife melts in my hands. It's chocolate. I pull out my backup and stab him again, but it melts as well. I realize it's not just the knives melting; he replaced me with a chocolate clone while I wasn't looking. Or maybe I always was chocolate. He's melting as well, he's also chocolate. The room crumbles and melts around us.

It's then I notice the camera as my vision fades to chocolate brown.

"[!@#$]ing chocolate guy," I say, scrolling past the video reblogged by my mutual.

the-haiku-bot

It’s then I notice

the camera as my vision

fades to chocolate brown.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

wikicamp2

grymmoires

inexplicably-gaining-followers

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

the-haiku-bot

This stupid exchange

between friends has become a

cultural icon.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

meerschweinchen-archive

your twenties are Also about discovering that you’re not a bad person in all the ways you believed you were but you’re a bad person in completely new and exciting ways

huanggugugu

The science pet, always come in handy.

bizarrelovesquare

unironically love the phrase “but I’m being so brave about it” because truly, like, what other choice do we have in this wretched existence? what a beautiful way to remind yourself to keep going, even if only out of spite

starlitbeetle

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.

teratocrat

grits teeth. none of you are playing tuoys correctly. here, give me the princess doll. since apparently none of you can be trusted with her. i'm going to make her do something truly nauseating.