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@our-agender-experience-deadblog
Welcome!
This blog is for agender critters to share their experiences, thoughts, and opinions, as well as connect with other agender critters. Everyone is welcome to enjoy this blog, but remember it is specifically for agender critters.
im not really sure if this is the right place to ask, but i dont think anywhere else is.
i used to refer to myself as agender, but i dont think that was right. i did have gender, it was just a messy confusing little ball of gender that didn’t matter to me too much. i use transmasc because thats more about how im comfortable presenting, i guess, its not connected to a gender.
i used to be a trans guy. im sure. the feelings were sort of there, and i was comfortable with it. I had an incredibly negative coming out experience. I wasn’t kicked out or anything, I just wasn’t accepted and essentially forced back into the closet. The details aren’t that important honestly, you just need to know that it’s kind of. Permanently fucked up the view of my gender. what used to be there has been forcibly erased because i cant be comfortable with a gender anymore.
so haha, looped around from not really being agender to actually being agender. It is sort of by a technicality, and i still cant get myself to comfortably identify with it, because i did have my gender at one point, no matter how confusing it was. it was there. it was mine. and i had to cut it off myself because just having it distressed me so much. im more comfortable with myself nowadays without it anyways.
so, like i said, it doesnt. really count as being agender. but i wouldnt no where else to say or explain my lack of gender. i hate to frame my experiences as trauma, because its just something i dont think i would come to terms with, and its not like my experiences were that bad anyways. however, in this instance, i think it applies? i dont know. ive had a bad coming out before. it never caused me this much emotional distress to the point i want to vomit just thinking about it. i get anxious just sharing it like this, and i didnt even include any details. but despite that im open about it because its better than keeping it under my skin. and it just feels. urghh. if i try to look up anything up about it im just met with plenty of stuff saying, “um, trauma cant affect your gender!” or “you cant just stop being trans : -)” and like… maybe im looking up the wrong stuff.
i feel bad. and like theres something wrong with me. the idea that my gender could be somehow magically recovered via therapy and like. whatever it is that can help you cope with trauma. and that like, when im finally comfortable with the idea of gender identity and it doesnt make me sick just thinking about it…. the idea that it will just come back makes me feel awful. its gone now. it wont come back, and why should it? its painful for me to think about. i dont have a gender anymore. maybe i did at one point! but not anymore.
maybe this is a little off topic, but i figured it was sort of related to being agender? maybe? sorry if its not, haha.
Gender is odd, that's all Imma say. You're just as valid as I am.
I wonder if I still belong here if I'm not fully agender. I'm aslo genderflux and experience femininity sometimes aside from agender. Btw, if I do qualify to be with you here, I wonder if I'm the only agender person who feels that term «non-binary» is wrong for them?
You do qualify, and I personally don't care about labels that much but others might.
I’m sending an ask because I’ve been struggling with answering this question for myself. I can’t decide if I am pangender or agender or maybe both? To me, I think gender is ridiculous and can’t contain me in any comfortable way. I reject gender norms and roles because they’re stupid of course. I can’t tell if I contain multitudes or I’m just a nothing burger. I’m nonspecific and vast but also I’m just a soul in a body. I already know being autistic has something to do with me not understanding these rules, but idk, I’m just finding it difficult to discern.
I can't tell you what you are, but to me personally that sounds more agender.
Ik ace people don't like being compared to plants. But I feel like they are the perfect symbol for agender people. Like sure they technically have sexes and stuff but still are seen as genderless by most people. And green is in our flag. Id rather have a plant body than a human body. Petition to make plants our "thing".
Our agender experience is going to #agender and learning once again that most of the post are vaguely about being queer, then about being trans, then nonbinary, then 3 agender characters and then one lost post which is about being agender. Ah, and not being included in aspec ever high fives with aplatonics
Imma flood #agender
My agender experience is about being free. Let me explain.
At home, everyone knows me as a girl. Everyone refers to me by my deadname and she/her pronouns. I'm not angry, I'm used to that.
I see my body in the mirror. "Biologically, you're female," I heard some people saying. Maybe my body is female, right. I'm not angry, I'm used to that.
At school, everyone knows me as a "good girl." I study a lot, help others to cheat on the exams, explain the new material to them sometimes... And they all thank a girl who was there. I'm not angry, I'm used to that.
My friends know me as a boy. When I questioned my gender identity, I thought I'm a transman, and this "role" fits me better, not gonna lie. They use my masculine name, refer me by "dude" or "man," etc. I'm not angry, but slightly happier, it's quite unusual for me.
But then I go somewhere else. Somewhere where nobody else can see. My performance is over. I don't have to pretend I'm a girl or a boy. I don't even have to say I'm nonbinary (which is actually not so because I'm agender). I'm finally free from everything. I'm neither female nor male. I'm genderless. I'm free. And I'm happy, but I'm not used to that.
Why do people keep writing poetry in my inbox? [/hj] I'm glad you're happy with yourself.
I'm genderfluid and I normally go from agender to xenogender (I mainly feel agender, though) - am I still allowed on this blog?
Absolutely. You're somewhere on the agender sceptrum, you're allowed here.
(Everybody who's a decent person is allowed here, it's just a space for agender peeps but everyone is welcome.)
I think I might be agender and having that realization was like a wave of understanding and calmness overtook me. I don’t feel like I’m putting myself into a super defined box with too many labels. I can wear what I want and still use any pronouns because my gender expression isn’t my identity and clothes don’t have gender. I want to be nothing. I want no gender. I want to wear what I want and express myself however I want without people trying to assign a gender to it. I’m just me. That’s it. I feel like I’m a world of color my gender is gray and that’s exactly what I want it to be. idk I know I’m kind of rambling but I’m trying to figure out all my feelings :(
That's fucking poetry. It's beautiful.
I need some positive vibes. I was able to my uncle. He accepted me. In a day I’m finally going tell my parents about my new name and that I’m agender and stuff.
!!!! /pos
YAY
everytime my parents ask about what gender I am I just reply “I’m too busy to think about that right now. So I’m nothing.”
Very real of you.
recently picked out a name and it didn't feel quite right (even tho i do like it) I found another name that was just like, an elongated ver of the first name and it feels so much better.
Also happy to note that my friends have taken well to it (also im pretty much just still using the first name I found because that's it's like, the nickname version of this name but having a lengthier ver of the name feels a lot more right.)
My friends have given me like 5 different nicknames from my chosen name. If having the longer name feels right then go for it!
Hi! I'm looking for a bit of advice about my gender. For whatever reason, I used to not care, but now I do occasionally-
Regardless, I don't necessarily want to put a label on myself most of the time. I just feel like a person existing that happens to inhabit a certain body type. I won't mind modifying it a little to feel more comfortable since I want to look a bit more androgynous.
Now, if I am to look for a label, I would be leaning towards agender, but then again, it doesn't feel quite right. I do feel... void (?) of any sense of gender, however, I still feel like there's a sliver of something that is very miniscule and barely affects me. Because of that, I thought about the nonbinary label, but that one felt wrong as well. It came with some uncomfortable boxing/came with preconceived connotations from my family that I didn't like.
I've just been using unlabeled since I can't find anything that describes me properly or doesn't feel like a box of expectations that I suddenly must conform too... if anything I want to conform to "randomness" if that makes sense.
Aboy or agirl or something like that might be it. Or it could be a xenogender! It's up to you to find what you're comfortable with.
hi! i just saw prev. anon having a gender crisis, and i wanna see if you could help me in any way.
currently, im using the label demigirl (i'm afab) and using she/they pronouns, along with usually just saying that i'm sapphic because of the demigirl label. im considering that i might be agender rather than demigirl, though, for reasons below.
here's the thing, though. i honestly don't really care too much about my gender. "are you a boy or a girl?" lmao. (i usually answer with girl to this question though, if it's somebody at school/in public.) "clothes like that are boyish?" clothes aren't gendered, who came up with that. ... and what do you mean you just feel like a gender? huh???
however, there is one exception: i despise actually being called a boy or having people use he/him pronouns. she/her? sure. they/them? that sounds right. neopronouns? idk, ive never experimented with that but i don't care. but for some reason, he/him and being seen as a man (which very rarely happens) feels INTENSELY wrong.
i'm gonna try to ask my trigender and genderfluid friends abt this at some point, but i'm only in contact with one of them right now, and i have no idea how either of them would respond.
essentially, are there any labels that are basically agender but feeling like there's one gender that feels wrong to be called by?
(sorry from the absurdly long ask!!! i just felt like i wouldn't get my point across by not giving a ton of context; i've never heard abt other people feeling the way i do which is kinda weird)
-💜🖤
Agirl. Might be it. Or you could just not like being referred to as masculine because that's just how you are. Either way, good luck!
My agender experience is so varied, but it’s like. I get so uncomfortable with gender a lot of the time.
I think it may even affect my sexuality and stuff because I’m attracted to most people, but have a preference for Agender people if I knew they were.
It’s so tricky.
Life is weird. I hope you make the best of it.
Hi! I noticed that I experience attraction to agender/genderless individuals like me, and I wanted to know if there was a sexuality for it? I know about Etbinariisexuality, but are there any sexualities specifically for attraction to agender and/or genderless individuals? I'd really like to know, and I appreciate you taking the time for reading my inquiry.
I'm aroace, not the one to ask, sorry. I don't know shit about sexualities. There's other queer blogs that might help. Try @our-queer-experience and see if that gets you anywhere! Good luck! /gen
I feel like I'm some blend of agender and genderfluid.
Like most of the time I don't feel like any gender, but sometimes I lean slightly one way or another. Occasionally I'll wish I could be a cute girl, but that goes down quickly. And other times I'm ecstatic that I have a big, strong, and hairy body. But then, that feeling is usually gone in a day or two.
Librafluid or agenderflux or whatever those things are seem the closest to what I am. Like I still feel mostly agender at all times, but there's a little lean in some direction or another before it goes down for a few days.
So like, today and the last couple days I've been on a slightly feminine lean. I think it would be nice to be a cute girl right now. But I still don't want to change anything in my presentation to match that. It's just a hint of femininity in my being.
I can imagine it like murky water with colorful stuff at the bottom. Most of the time you can't see anything and I'm just neutral and genderless, but sometimes it sloshes around and you can catch a glimpse of some gender shining through
So yeah. I'm rambling. Gender is weird.
Agenderfluid is a thing. You might want to look into that. /nf