Our Daily Inspiration

I go through life one step at a time, because I hope to gain a lifetime of extraordinary experiences.

[ourdailyinspiration]

Brainstorming.

I want to write more.

But what to write about.

Huh.

Well.

I can write about being an actor. Maybe. I may be too much of a youngin’ to give any sort of insight or opinion. We shall see.

I can write about the importance of family. Why? Because I am one of those kids who had to learn how to take care of her parents at an early time of my life. It’s not fun, but man it’s life changing in such a good way.

I can write about why I think everyone should meditate. BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING AND I RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE RIGHT NOW.

Hee hee.

Maybe I’ll write about podcasts. I like podcasts. Maybe I’ll make a podcast. Huh. To be continued.

I do want to write about Parkinson’s disease. And while I’m at it, don't forget to #paintforparkinsons *hint hint nudge nudge*

I want to write about love. Why? Because why the fuck not.

I want to write about how sanity is obtainable. It is. I promise.

I want to write about stuff people want to read about.

I don’t want to write about loss. Not right now. We all know I’m still grieving.

Hi Grandpa. I miss you. Have you met Kyle yet? He’s good people. You’d like him. Go meet him.

Obviously, I could write about Stephen Sondheim. But maybe that’s a bit too much?

Again.

We shall see.

xoxo

[ourdailyinspiration]

What I Really Want To Say.

Hey.

You’ve been crossing my mind a lot lately. You may not think so, but I do. I see you in every book I read, every place I go, even that picture you gave me.

It’s posted next to my front door. You probably know that.

Anyways, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Well. I always want to talk to you. Right now I can’t, but I hope this reaches you. I’m sure it will. I hope it will. I think you’ll appreciate that I wrote it down, knowing you with your love for speech and literature.

I don’t know where to begin.

Walking into your home is still uncomfortable for me. I open the door to your apartment building you owned for fifty-something years, and I analyze the door to your place before I walk up the sixty-something steps to the attic that is my current residency. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but thank you for giving me my first home away from home.

I see family members sit in your chair once in a while. It’s weird. I’m sure you don’t mind though. Daddy sat in your chair once and it was surreal.

He looks just like you.

I find myself staring at your collection of books more often than I have done these past 23 years of visiting you. I keep thinking what moved you to read these, who gave them to you as gifts, and so on.

Your place should be a part of the Smithsonian.

And then there’s your study. Should I even be allowed to talk about it? That room was your sanctuary, it feels wrong to even mention it now. I saw you still had the show program from the college production that changed my life. Your wife placed it on top of your birthday scrapbook. I wonder if you made sure that would happen so I would see it.

I guess what I am trying to say is I miss you. I miss you a lot.

I miss seeing you. 

I miss running into you on the street.

I miss opening the door and seeing you in your wife’s chair while she is out of the house.

I miss waking up around 8:30 in the morning, and knowing you’re out getting the paper.

I miss all of the times we could have had.

I miss you making eggs.

I miss you napping on your hammock at your summer home in Vermont.

I miss you calling me a lady.

I miss you asking me how my day was.

I miss you dosing off during a conversation.

I miss you complimenting your wife’s cooking.

I miss your jokes.

I miss hearing your stories.

I miss watching you sitting next to your wife and you gently caress the back of her neck.

I miss your love for Italy, books, history, and Downton Abbey.

I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I miss you, and everything about you, Grandpa.

It’s interesting. These past few months since you left I have been trying to battle it out with my mind why you left us. I just left it to the fact that you got 91 years. You had enough. It was your time.

But I found myself reading the script of ‘Man of La Mancha’, and these two lines screamed out to me:

Antonia: You will get well!

Don Quixote: (smiling) Why should a man get well when he is dying? It would be such a waste of good health.

Immediately I saw you speaking those two lines to me! That’s what you would say if I was with you during your last hours! That’s why you helped me get this show, didn’t you? I know you did. You couldn’t help yourself. You gave me this show so I can find solace and peace in your passing.

In a way, I think you have been hinting to me that you are Don Quixote. But that’s not true. You have done everything he wished to achieve.

You fought against enemies.

You fell in love, and you received it back.

You had children.

You saw your children have children.

You even saw your children’s children have children!

You performed chivalry.

You were (in a way) knighted.

Finally, and most importantly, you completed his life long quest to reach the unreachable star.

I won’t deny that there are similarities between the two of you. I didn’t realize how bad your dementia was until the last two months. You kept asking what spatula to use to make scrambled eggs over and over again when the answer was already given to you. There were times where you weren’t present. I had to remind you who I was every few seconds when I spoke to you over the phone.

It broke my heart that I couldn’t do anything for you. But you fought it. Your biggest enemy of all. I like to think you won the battle. It came with a consequence though.

I hope we make you proud. ‘We’ meaning your wife, children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. You inspired us to do great things, Grandpa. Truly.

Are there times where I regret the short amount we had together? Absolutely. But it makes me cherish even more of that small time we had.

I can’t wait to see you again. Someday I hope to wake up and find myself in your living room, sitting across from you as always, listening to you talk about your love of Gwen Verdon’s legs, while we feast on oysters and drink gin martinis with two unstuffed olives.

Until then, my Don Quixote. Until then. I love you.

[ourdailyinspiration]

When You Speak To Strangers.

Yesterday was quite the adventure.

It seemed that of all days I decided to be a bit more social, it included meeting the most interesting characters.

Let’s start at the beginning. A very good place to start. (Went there!)

Encounter #1: A very nice woman and her I assume to be daughter came up to me in Central Park asking if they can cut through the park to get to the East Side (we were on West Side). They were going to The Met. I said I personally didn’t know but I am sure there is a way to do it. She thanked me and apologized for interrupting my time.

It may not sound interesting, but the woman had an English accent. So play the scenario with that in your head, and it may give you a little giggle. A friend of mine found it amusing.

Encounter #2: After quickly saying hi to Ela, I am walking up 88th St to meet up with a friend at Blockheads. Ah. Blockheads. There I am, walking across Broadway, when I am approached by a woman who looks frantic. She asked me if I could give her a minute and stand with her, saying she has bad anxiety, and anxiety is real. I said I could stay with her and even asked if she needed to hold my hand.

We moved over to a place where there is shade. She is speaking very soft and rapidly to the point I am having difficulty understanding what she is talking about. Basically she just left some sort of facility, staying at a friends place, lost some money, and needed cash for a cab. She said she would venmo me the money, and she knew we were just strangers, but she really needed help.

If it was ANY OTHER DAY I would have said ‘Absolutely,‘ but I only had enough money to purchase the things I needed that day. So I had to awkwardly say I couldn’t help her, and she stormed off.

I told Mama this encounter and she simply replied with ‘weird’.

Encounter #3: Finished up at Blockheads early, and decided to go to a bar that a new friend of mine bartends at. It’s cool, hip, does the job. I sat at a seat where I thought no one would bother me while I chit chat with my pal and write my feelings down in my journal, but NOPE.

A man around his 60′s asked if the seat next to me was taken and sat down. We got to talking and it turns out he is in town from North Carolina with his twin daughters. They are attending a Rockettes Summer Intensive. He talked about them, his hometown, and his wife who lost a very difficult battle to an eating disorder. I applauded his bravery and loving support to his daughters.

Made me think of my Dad. I need to remind him he’s awesome. Again.

Encounter #4 was another man in his 60′s who kept saying he’s old enough to be my father. He apparently works at a designer company and was in town for a business meeting. I drunkenly scribbled down the website he gave me, but of course I can not read what the fuck it is.

Thanks drunk Emma. Thanks.

The entire time we talked about politics. And I guess I sounded smart and knew what I was saying, because it was a pretty heated argument for a good hour. I think he’s voting for Trump? Either that or he isn’t voting at all; I remember he’s a Republican.

We finished off with him paying for my drinks, and him saying once again that he would be in trouble with me if he was 37 years younger.

I just love that he made the year so specific. 37. Not 30, but 37. There’s a difference, I guess.

And then there was Encounter #4 and 5.

Oh. Boy.

It starts out with noticing an attractive man who was clearly checking me out. So, as a decent young woman would, I returned the favor and checked him out. You know, make him feel empowered that a woman finds him hot. No biggie.

Cut to his wife shows up.

And he’s still checking me out. While he’s cuddling with her.

Awkward?

All of a sudden, while I’m beginning a new paragraph of spilling out my feelings into my journal, the couple approaches me. We talk, they were very sweet. Then out of the blue they lean over to my bartender buddy and leave.

Uh, okay bye?

I continue with my business, and the wife comes back with a room key. She asked me if I wanted to join them. To which I sheepishly responded with why, and she said ‘You know why’.

Which led to No-Bullshit-Emma popping out and said ‘No, I don’t. Tell me what you are trying to hint at.’

She and her husband wanted me to have a threesome with them.

OKAY THEN. GOT THE HINT.

This led to a good ten minutes of me saying no in every possible way. The wife was persistent or something to the point where her husband came back and was trying to have them leave without me.

Then Encounter #6 and 7 told them to leave. They did. Thus led to #6 telling me that I should not be treated that way, and it’s okay to tell people like that to fuck off.

Her words. Not mine.

She also gave me the ‘You Are Enough’ speech, which I have heard one too many times, but this time I almost got emotional hearing that. I think it was the fact that a complete stranger was telling another complete stranger that they are beautiful.

There are good people out there, and she is an extraordinary example of that.

And that was that! Quite an interesting adventure with the most colorful encounters. I also went to another bar where the bartender asked how I looked familiar. I reminded him and he said “Oh yeah! Yeah you were really drunk that night.”

And so kids, if you wanna make friends, talk to strangers. But if you don’t want to deal with them, take Encounter #6′s advice and tell them to fuck off!

Stay classy.

xxxx

[ourdailyinspiration]

Take a Breath, Take a Leap.

Huh.

What an interesting couple of months.

I feel like there were quite a few trials and tribulations I have encountered that have made me feel like I could fly and dig a hole and sleep in it at the same time. Life is quite a rollercoaster. It still boggles my mind that many moments pass by very quickly without any sort of realization.

And then there are days like today. Days that may seem to others a typical Friday, but today marks the day that it’s been eight months since a dear colleague, friend, brother, and son passed away.

Kyle was quite a character when I met him. He always was in a way I guess. What took me by surprise was how much talent there was in him. And not only that, he was humble, never cocky, about what he was able to do on stage. Kyle was, and still is, one of a kind.

When he passed, I couldn’t sleep. The next morning I turned on the light in my bathroom and all the lights went out except for the one in the middle. I’d like to think that was him playing one of his many jokes.

I wasn’t able to go to the service his graduating class served in NYC at the park, but that night I saw him. It was surreal. For some reason I was in the woods and came upon this amphitheater stage - similar to the one where Shakespeare in the Park is done. Low and behold Kyle was at the very top, talking to someone. He saw me, waved, and I ran up towards him. We hugged, and he told me how proud he was of me. I was sobbing, and woke up with tears still streaming down my face.

His passing was very difficult for me to accept. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to grieve because I wasn’t as close to him as others were. I regret I never got to take more time to know him. What really angered me was that he was just a kid starting out with such a bang in his career. Why him? We will never know.

I always think of him now and then. Practically every day because the only window I can open in my room is the one that leads to the fire escape. Friends and family always come by and want to go on it, but I say no. One time I left to get something in the other room, and when I came back I saw the window open and my friend outside taking a snapchat story.

Really?

I almost screamed at him, telling him to come back inside. He didn’t understand why, and then out of the blue he blurts ‘Oh it is because that kid from Les Mis died on one of these?’

Again. Really?

Then I took a plunge.

One night I opened the window, and sat on the fire escape for five minutes while listening to Edith Piaf’s voice soar through the streets in Brooklyn through my iPhone speakers. My body felt like a weight was lifted off. In a way, and this is a bit of a stretch I know, but I felt Kyle’s presence saying it’s okay to take a risk once in a while.

No, I’m not going to hang out on fire escapes now, but maybe whenever I need to breathe. Being out there made me realize I miss having the freedom to go outside on the porch at my home in Vermont. As nice as New York City is, I find it sometimes confining. If I want to go outside and be surrounded by nature, I would need to take a train to central park, and even that area doesn’t do much for me. I need to be immersed by nature, not surrounded by it while seeing skyscrapers in the background, as if it’s some sort of reminder of something I want to forget.

In those five minutes, I felt like I experienced a much needed therapeutic moment to myself. I saw why he spent time out there.

Kyle inspires me every day. I am forcing myself to make my time for meaningful and creative. I created this Parkinson’s campaign not only for my Mama, but because Kyle’s life inspired me to take the leap. I take any leap I can now, no matter how scary the risk is.

To the man who chased, achieved, and obtained his dreams, I miss you and love you. I’ll drink to you tonight.

We may be healing, but we never forget.

[ourdailyinspiration]

I saw this beautiful woman today and I couldn't be happier. #ridermt #firstroomie #love

[ourdailyinspiration]

Ten Things I Learned So Far.

As of now, I have lived in New York City for two weeks, and it would be an understatement to say that it has been interesting.

But what better way to explain than to list ten things I have learned so far! Huzzah!

1. Having your grandparents as your landlord is awesome.

Yep. I give my rent and report my radiator is leaking (which happened on the second day I was here) to my grandmother. To me, this is pretty amazing. Why? Because I have known these people since I was born, I know how to talk with them, and what makes them tick and ticked off. Not only that, but they invite me to have dinner with them sometimes. So kids, if you have the opportunity to get a place that your family owns, and they offer it to you, DO IT.

Side note: Don’t take advantage of them. They are your family after all. And always ask if you want to change something in the place. :)

2. Commuting to auditions is so much nicer in NYC than New Jersey.

Ah. The memories of waking up at 4AM to catch a 5AM train. Now I can wake up at 5AM. Huzzah!

I like sleeping.

3. Trader Joe’s is your lifelong friend.

The first day I got here I bought a heat up lasagna and orange juice for $12. I almost cried. Then I went to Trader Joe’s and got about 10 items for $25.

I will never pay $6 for orange juice ever again. Nope.

4. Traveling is much easier in the city.

This means the world to me since I am very close with my parents. If I want to go home, I can just buy a Dartmouth Coach or Amtrak ticket and head over there. If my parents come by, even better! All I have to do is take the 2 and 1 train to Ela’s, or just go downstairs to my grandparents place! Knowing this makes my heart so full and reminds me that I am one of the few who have this sort of opportunity.

Not only that, but now my little brother has no choice but to stop by and say hi when he is in town from school. Eh heh heh.

5. Going to auditions can be hard.

This is me being selfish, but I love sleeping. so. much. But sleeping in will not help me get to an audition on time. In a perfect world, I want to wake up at 5:30, stretch, eat a healthy breakfast, vocally warm up, and arrive at the call around 8AM to get seen. Right now, I have been bad and arriving at calls at 9AM, but once I finally create a routine this will happen.

Side note: It’s also not the end of the world to get there at 9AM, but I personally would rather make sure I am one of the first ten EMC to be seen at a call than be any later.

6. Trying to eat healthy is tough.

Oh. Boy. This is becoming so consistent to the point of annoyance, but the answer is always out there to eat healthy without going crazy. And thanks to Trader Joe’s, it will be easier to eat healthy. It was just impossible for me to try to be healthy with everything going on these past two weeks. Yikes.

7. Having motivation from others to go to auditions is great, but you have to do that for yourself.

I noticed something interesting. For my first audition my brother was in town to help me move in, and I told him I had to wake up early for an audition. Around 6AM he woke up to make sure I was awake to get there on time. What an awesome brother! Especially since we both share the great love of sleeping.

Cut to when he left, I snoozed my alarm like nobodies business and missed out on an audition. Granted, the company was having another round of auditions the next day, but that should never be an excuse to sleep in. You are your own motivator when it comes to pursuing your career, not someone else’s.

Will it be easier when my roommate arrives? Maybe, if she has an audition that day as well, but you should never put the pressure on someone else to wake you up in the morning. That’s your job. :)

8. Living alone can get lonely pretty quickly.

Unfortunately I had to wait a whole two weeks for my roommate to arrive. The first week went alright; having my brother here was really nice. But week number two was rough. I made a couple stops at my grandparents place, ran errands, basically did anything to keep me busy, but it was not enough. Living alone is hard.

A friend of mine told me that he lived alone when he first came to NYC and he was miserable. Having a taste of that made me understand why.

9. You can’t stop the unexpected.

Earlier this week I found out an old friend of mine from my high school days passed away. This was unexpected. We reconnected during Thanksgiving, and we were planning to meet and catch up. I am regretting we never did.

Two hours later I found out a family member of mine, David, passed away yesterday morning. For ten minutes I was terrified to break the news to Mama, but she knew and was about to tell me.

How did I find out he passed? Playbill.com. Yeah...was not fun.

I was shaken down by this awful news, and had no idea how to continue with my week, let alone my day. I consider myself very lucky to not have had any close family members pass. The first time I ever dealt with death was when my friend and colleague Kyle Jean Baptiste passed away. We were all shocked, but I was finally able to heal when I watched the lights dim at the Imperial and Richard Rodgers Theatre in his honor. What a beautiful moment.

But I kept thinking: How will I be able to begin healing when it comes to a family member? How can I continue my day with this sort of news? I just had to accept it, as odd as it sounds. I met with a friend, tried to win the Hamilton and Spring Awakening lotteries, lost, and we went out to eat and had a drink in David and Ben’s honor.

That made me feel good, and it made me feel okay to start healing.

And last, but never the least:

10. Your family will love and support you. Always.

I can not express this enough. My parents have been with me on this journey since day one. My father called me daily during the first week to see how I was doing. My mama keeps informing me when she will be in town again and asks if there is anything she can do to help out while she is reclining in her bed in cozy Vermont. With all of the craziness of these last two weeks, they have been there to support me through the good and bad.

Granted, others may have had different experiences when they first moved to this area, so you can take these ten opinions with a grain of salt. But I think we can all agree that your first big move and becoming an independent is an unforgettable experience.

[ourdailyinspiration]

[ourdailyinspiration]

Paint for Parkinsons

Hi Guys!

So I finally started up this new blog titled Paint for Parkinsons! I will post a video blog up on it soon, but please follow it!

http://paintforparkinsons.tumblr.com

It will be cool. I promise.

Much love to you all! #paintforparkinsons

xoxo

[ourdailyinspiration]

Remember This!?

I’m not so good with this blog thing I guess.

But since I’m graduating in two weeks, I’ll finally have some time to do this stuff.

Yeah. Graduating. I said it. What. Why.

Cause I want to save my parents some money. That’s why. :)

Anyways, I think this will be more of a fun trip for all of us to take, if you read this, to find a more positive spin on life. Like what Sierra Boggess does. But I’m not a crazy famous soprano.

I got some fun ideas planned. Get ready. Also, if you by chance paint your nails and instagram it, if you could add the hashtag #paintforparksinsons I would greatly appreciate it. I’ll explain later. Promise.

Love to all. Thanks for reading this! I SWEAR THIS WILL BE A REGULAR BLOG THING!

XOXO

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #21: Finally. It's all signed, sealed, and in the middle of being delivered overnight to Jersey. Stewards Crossing, don't let me down. #100happydays #finally #hugeweightoffmyshoulders #sopumped #beyondexcited

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #20: Happy Opening of 'A Little Night Music'!! Counting my lucky stars being given this amazing opportunity to play my dream role and work with such a phenomenal cast! XOXO #100happydays #sexytimeallthetime #andishallmarrythemillersson #alittlenightmusic #sondheim #nlbp #summer #toodamnlucky

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #19: Getting into character with 'Poor Little Henrik'. Happy tech!! #alittlenightmusic #nlbp #wearesohot #youmustbejoking #sexytimeallthetime

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #18: These people made my life. @adrieebug @michellebethhh @hahaharrison Keep being beautiful, lovelies. #100happydays #nlbp #youmustbejoking #wedontjokearoundhere

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #17: Can't go a day without this!! #sudoku #100happydays #mylifeinnumbers #nlbp

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #16: Starting the day off at Nutritionally Yours! Ready to take on the day. #100happydays #iloveithere #healthshakes #energyteas #imreadyfortoday #lifeisgood

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #15: Happy National Donut Day!!! #100happydays #propsishardwork #itisgoingtobeabadassday

[ourdailyinspiration]

100HappyDays #14: This is a lil' #tbt when Daddy and I chilled with his cows. He's going to be our cheerleader for the Intern Company at the StrawHat Revue; attending every performance!! #100happydays #thatsmydaddy #nlbp #youmustbejoking #strawhatrevue