Waiting for Starscream to come back feels like an eternity. Rodimus is half convinced he won’t. But he returns.
Rodimus is silent for a long moment. The answer should be obvious–and it speaks to just how… messed up Starscream’s situation is. How messed up he is. It hurts to see someone steeped so deeply in despair. It’s not right.
He takes the energon cubes, and says, “Because living under someone else’s thumb and getting the tar beaten out of you on the reg is a miserable way to live? Because everyone deserves freedom? That’s what Autobots fight for, dude.”
He opens a cube and takes a drink. It tastes… odd. Close to what he’s used to, but slightly off. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. “I’m not trying to get under your plating on purpose. I save that for Megs.”
Wings slowly lower down; both pair betraying him. There’s a cold chill that strikes him, and he draws up and back slightly. To hear something like that spoken to someone like him. For a moment his expression darkens, and he takes in his situation. He runs it over in his mind, turning it over and over, before he shakes his head, crossing his arms protectively across his chassis.
“ I chose this. ” He states it with a calm that speaks to acceptance. “ I am where I am because of my own actions. Do not mistake this with him forcing me. I’ve ran. I’ve always came back of my own accord. Others who run get hunted, killed. He’s always left me to my own devices, took me back every time I crawled right back. I don’t pretend I understand why he takes me back instead of terminating me - but I accept my lot. ”
He takes a moment to quietly think. There’s a way to phrase the why without looking for pity. There’s a way to make it make sense to Rodimus - to relate it. He knows it. He raises his optics to meet Rodimus’. The purple sends a chill through him, but he straightens himself up tall, his arms uncrossing and folding behind his back - an old familiar regal stance. He never quite lost it.
“ You have your crew. You know how they look up to you, depend on you. I had the same - except it was the entirety of Vos. To fail them as I had; penance was due. It is a miserable existence, but I live while they do not. It is fair. If I have to continue on; I deserve to continue to feel every last thing they all had to go through. It’s not a proper price to pay for failing all those who looked up to me to lead - but it is all I have. ”
It’s when it’s out that he clues in to how pathetic he sounds, and a servo comes up to rest on his helm, gently rubbing at it with an elongated sigh. Frustration shows through his body language, and he lowers his arm, letting it uselessly dangle at his side.
“ I don’t want pity. I did what I did, and no action should be without its consequence. I failed of my own accord. Your situation - you had someone hold you down and force you. You’re different than me. You didn’t choose. If either one of us deserves to get free of his grasp; it would be you. ” A shrug. “ Not that it’s something I think likely to happen. You have to be realistic. I’m sorry. ”
