Outlandish Development

This is the story of a woman who lost everything and the one man who had no choice but to help her keep it together.

[outlandishdevelopment]

- Let me turn the lights off.

- Yes, yes, please.How's that? 

- Is that better?

- It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

[outlandishdevelopment]

- I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.

- There's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.

- Okay, but that's the last one.

[outlandishdevelopment]

The doctor said, "No kissing her on the face for one week." I was like, "Make it two weeks, see if I care!"

[outlandishdevelopment]

- Where to, mate?

- The Gothic Castle.

- Gothic Asshole?

- That's what I said.

[outlandishdevelopment]

Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus.

[outlandishdevelopment]

Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

[outlandishdevelopment]

-You can call me anything you want...

-An impotent man-boy?

[outlandishdevelopment]

-I'm on to you! The Spanish lessons! If you're headed to Portugal, it's due South!

-What? No it isn't!

[outlandishdevelopment]

If this was a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be out act break.

[outlandishdevelopment]

-I don't want to leave him alone with all the J-U-I-C-E.

-I can spell. You spelled juice.

-What a genius. Let's see you find it.

[outlandishdevelopment]

They're just heels, honey. They can only support so much weight.

[outlandishdevelopment]

-We're going on a fishing trip.

-Why? What did I do?

[outlandishdevelopment]

-You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.

-That's funny, because I was going to say, "You might want to lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol".

-Mine was better.

[outlandishdevelopment]

-What's her first name? Quickly.

-Crindee.

-Name's not Crindee.

[outlandishdevelopment]

-I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it.

-You would do that to your brother?

-I said "cot"

[outlandishdevelopment]

He says the walk "recharges his chi" I call it, "an excuse for him to score more pot and wave his pickle at the co-eds".

[outlandishdevelopment]

-Are you actually going to buy something this time, or are you just curious?

-Well, let's just say that I'm buy-curious.