Outlook Springs

Literary Magazine || Fiction, Poetry, Non-Fiction & Words from Other Worlds || etc., etc. Follow us at: @outlooksprings [email protected] outlooksprings.com

[mortalityplays]

I’ve been reading Paradise Lost, and as far as I can follow it this is how the battle with Satan’s rebellion is reported:

- Satan gets all his armies together and meets to parlay with Michael leading the hosts of heaven - Satan mouths off a lot so Michael hits him. Having never encountered the concept of pain before, Satan immediately falls down and starts shrieking - the rebels panic and their collective asses are completely kicked, so they lift up Satan (who is still writhing and yelling) and run away

- Satan is like okay we need bigger weapons if we want to beat a host of angels - the rebels show up the next day with three giant cannons that shoot lightning - Satan and Belial stand around snickering at the heavenly host as they’re knocked down like skittles - the faithful angels respond by dropping a mountain on the cannons - the rebels start throwing mountains back

- meanwhile God is like “this is getting out of hand” and tells jesus to go deal with it - jesus grabs his dad’s lightning bow and arrows and hops in god’s chariot and zooms out to tell the faithful he’ll take it from here - jesus shoots lightning at the rebels and blasts them with fire from the chariot. according to the text he can shoot ten arrows on each side of him with every shot, but he’s “only using half his power because he doesn’t want to kill them” - jesus proceeds to DJ jazzy jeff the entire rebel army out of heaven and into the abyss, then goes home and more or less high fives his dad

this book is the most bananas unchained bible fanfiction I’ve ever read

[catchymemes]

“My mom painted this and said no one would like it. It’s her 2nd painting.”

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

“I painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the mom who painted a bird”

“When it sinks in that I stayed up most of the night to paint a meme for internet points…”

[yetimati]

…And nobody thought to post other “branchs” of this chain? Yes, it’s ‘branchS’, plural, because apparently we also have these:

Bit wonky, but I painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan.

Bit shitty, but I painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan

I painted u/Shitty_WaterColour who painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan

I painted u/color_on_a_page who painted u/Shitty_WaterColour who painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted someone’s mom who painted a swan

Oh well, here’s yet another layer

Another branch, starting from the girl with the white background:

Took an hour or so but I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom

I didn’t like how reddit treated the iPad guy so I painted the guy that painted the girl that who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom on my iPad.

Continue from OP’s branch:

I haven’t painted in two years and I’m glad for the inspiration!!

A painting of the guy who hasn’t painted in years painting the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the other girl who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom

Same ‘level’ as the one above:

Usually lurking but not today…plaid was a great challenge!

Continue! With a cat!

We painted the guy that painted the other guy who hadn’t painted in 2 years who painted the other guy who painted the girl that painted the guy who painted the girl that painted the guy that painted some guy’s mother who painted a swan whilst making them all an NPC in the process

Honorary mentioned:

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!!!

And finally, The Great Family Tree (some branch is not in the picture, pls click the link below for the full list:

This seems necessary…

https://nubleh.github.io/i_painted/

[bellonanj73]

[outlooksprings]

If you loved HAMILTION, you’ll love MOBY DICK vs PLANET OF THE APES This week only exclusively at  OUTLOOK SPRINGS COMMUNITY THEATRE

[outlooksprings]

HELPFUL WRITING TIP:

Read your work out loud. Really loud. Borderline screaming. Like Willy Wonka in that nightmare tunnel when he shouts the danger must be growing because the rowers keep on rowing—

Then poll everyone at Starbucks about which descriptions feel flat.

[outlooksprings]

#quote #writingadvice #inspirationalquotes #dinosaurus #amwriting

[outlooksprings]

From August 1 - September 15: Send us your best creative nonfiction! Guest editor Meredith Hall will select her favorite essay. $500 to the winner! Free to enter (unless you feel like leaving a tip or a curse or an enchantment). More details here: https://outlooksprings.submittable.com/submit

[outlooksprings]

Scenes from the Outlook Springs Farmer's Market

[outlooksprings]

You have until 7/15 to submit your finest word work. outlooksprings.com

[outlooksprings]

“You have nothing because that’s what life is, you only own what you own until you are gone and then you own nothing because death does not allow a carry-on.” (via Persimmons)

[outlooksprings]

The Regulations

A story by J. Robert Lennon from Outlook Springs, a literary journal from another dimension.

"Further complicating this arrangement was the fact that our supervisor’s son had no interest in, or respect for, regulations at all, the ones his grandfather created or any others, as far as we could tell."

[outlooksprings]

[outlooksprings]

[outlooksprings]

In our ongoing effort to receive and publish more work from women, we're launching our 3rd Ladies' Night starting tomorrow (1/22): Send your work directly to an editor's inbox!

Prose: up to 7500 words. Double-spaced. Poetry: Submit up to 5 poems (in one document).

Please share with anyone who might be interested. WE CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR WORK.

[ecc-poetry]

Revenge

Since you mention it, I think I will start that race war. I could’ve swung either way? But now I’m definitely spending the next 4 years converting your daughters to lesbianism; I’m gonna eat all your guns. Swallow them lock stock and barrel and spit bullet casings onto the dinner table; I’ll give birth to an army of mixed-race babies. With fathers from every continent and genders to outnumber the stars, my legion of multiracial babies will be intersectional as fuck and your swastikas will not be enough to save you, because real talk, you didn’t stop the future from coming. You just delayed our coronation. We have the same deviant haircuts we had yesterday; we are still getting gay-married like nobody’s business because it’s still nobody’s business; there’s a Muslim kid in Kansas who has already written the schematic for the robot that will steal your job in manufacturing, and that robot? Will also be gay, so get used to it: we didn’t manifest the mountain by speaking its name, the buildings here are not on your side just because you make them spray-painted accomplices. These walls do not have genders and they all think you suck. Even the earth found common ground with us in the way you bootstrap across us both, oh yeah: there will be signs, and rainbow-colored drum circles, and folks arguing ideology until even I want to punch them but I won’t, because they’re my family, in that blood-of-the-covenant sense. If you’ve never loved someone like that you cannot outwaltz us, we have all the good dancers anyway. I’ll confess I don’t know if I’m alive right now; I haven’t heard my heart beat in days, I keep holding my breath for the moment the plane goes down and I have to save enough oxygen to get my friends through. But I finally found the argument against suicide and it’s us. We’re the effigies that haunt America’s nights harder the longer they spend burning us, we are scaring the shit out of people by spreading, by refusing to die: what are we but a fire? We know everything we do is so the kids after us will be able to follow something towards safety; what can I call us but lighthouse, of course I’m terrified. Of course I’m a shroud. And of course it’s not fair but rest assured, anxious America, you brought your fists to a glitter fight. This is a taco truck rally and all you have is cole slaw. You cannot deport our minds; we won’t hold funerals for our potential. We have always been what makes America great.

-e.c.c.

[outlooksprings]

Issue2 is wending it's way back to our universe! Find stories from other dimensions where ghosts reside in typewriters at the bottom of a river, where Frenchmen do and don't die in airports, where kudzu behaves like a boogeyman, where we've anthropomorphized dinosaur fossils, where temporal loops of regulations must be relabelled, and even stranger realities! Order yours at outlooksprings.com

[blackandwtf]

[outlooksprings]

Nevermore #Nanny Service is offering 2-for-1 specials this week on #bedtime #stories.

[outlooksprings]

But a story never told is also a danger, particularly to the people in it.

Karen Joy Fowler