Everything is funnier out of context.

Especially youth ministry. Kids are weird and rediculous and hysterical. I have a passion for youth ministry and an undying love to document quotes out of context.

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Names my kids have named the animals (these are middle schoolers):

Leemas/ laymas

Shaggy potato

Fancy potato

Shepps

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One of my teenagers to me: Doesnt he have weirdly good eyeballs?

Me: theyre eyeballs and theyre functioning... Yes...?

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"It looks like a shaggy potato."

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When you have to teach kids the realities of the world: the dunkin frozen coffee that was handed to one of my kids didnt look like what was on the menu so she thought it wasnt hers.

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When you take your 4 Y kids to dunkin, your coffee is the smallest one ordered and they hand you your coffee with a 'good luck' lolol

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Having chase a kids shorts down on the beach...

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Shaving. Cream. Twister. Nuff' said.

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Kid: brown people don't know when they are getting a sun burn.

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Me to a kindergartener: Stop with the heads. STOP RIPPING THEIR HEADS OFF.

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Kid: "buttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbutts"

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"What do you do for work?"

Explode paint.

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Children: Constant screaming like someone is dying. Every day. 

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Kid: Im just doing butts!

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Bribe children with tiny toys = get lots of garbage

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Me: Well then you tell him to stop being immature and that you dont want to hear him say that again.

Kid: I told him the best he could do was marry a rock.