Confidential Gluteal Gamboling @outphase - Tumblr Blog

To anybody not in the Neopets community y’all are missing the craziest hobby drama™️ right now. Basically tl;dr is that Neopets’ parent company announced that Neopets would be releasing THOUSANDS of NFTs without even telling the actual staff team responsible for the Neopets site. They literally initially state that they think the NFT announcement is a scam. Once it comes into light that it’s not a scam, Neopets users very very loudly protest this and vocally state that they are against this decision, which goes completely ignored. More details pop up and the whole thing starts to look really suspicious: The NFTs are going to be produced and managed via a third party company that just popped up about a month ago. They are affiliated with Neopets’ parent company in nebulous ways that suggests money laundering. They run an official Neopets Metaverse Discord where the word “gay” is autobanned by a bot but the word “faggot” gets thrown around (as well as alleged racism and transphobia going unmoderated). When people in the server complain about this one of the mods starts spewing insane NFTbro accusations that the people complaining are just trying to spread anti-NFT propaganda or something. Later, it’s revealed that the NFTs themselves are made using stolen/uncredited assets from a Neopets fan site. This is revealed because they don’t even bother to fix a visual glitch that is unique to that site. They refuse to address this or give credit when it’s pointed out, so they aren‘t just taking assets without acknowledgment but this means they cannot even produce their own damn art for the thing. NFTbros start joining Neopets and hacking/buying old accounts to act like long time players in “support” of NFTs. Actual users start protesting with log-off days, unsubscribing from premium membership, sending anti-NFT art to the art gallery, etc. Sketchy Neopets Metaverse Twitter starts promoing NSFW/18+ NFT projects and posting 4chan-tier NFTbro wojak memes (think “virgin X chad Y” type stuff), totally obliterating the whole “Neopets is a family friendly all-ages game where even writing that your Neopets are married to each other or saying the word cuCUMber can get you banned” thing. Finally, most recently, Neopets‘ Metaverse announces their end goal plans for the Neopets NFT project: An entirely pay-to-play version of the site, where everything you do is powered by cryptocurrency microtransactions. To make matters worse, this announcement reveals that the third party does not know a SINGLE THING about Neopets, and describes “pay to play” features that literally are not a thing on the site, while not mentioning a single aspect of the site that is actually possible. This is alongside the fact that the actual, FREE to play Neopets website is currently almost completely unplayable since they have not converted it since Flash died. This makes it look like Neopets is slowly being switched over to entirely pay-to-play via cryptocurrency microtransactions.

Here are the real kickers:

1. Neopets actually did a cryptocurrency project a few years ago. The project died with a whimper and never saw any end results, leaving a ton of people having sunk their money into something completely worthless.

2. The “NFTs” are literally just randomly generated stock Neopets. With thousands and thousands of pet/color/clothing combinations to choose from, they all inevitably look like absolute shit. You cannot dress them up, change their color or species or outfit, or even name or care for them or pick their gender. And given the nature of NFTs, your “ownership” of them at all is nebulous at best. Functionally, you have significantly more ownership of your Neopet by just making a damn account on the website and creating it there for free, where you have full customization abilities and it is attached directly to your account information.

bogleech

what

grimseer

what

todaysbird

Additionally: they didn’t even use their own site to generate the neopet images. They used images from a neopets dressup fansite, Dress to Impress. Then, when they were caught due to a glitched image unique to the site, they replaced the giveaway image silently.

shitty-car-mods-daily

So this is a thing

outphase

This is actually a great mod. It speaks the truth.

heckyeahponyscans

wizardmoon-deactivated20190222

why do they look so concerned

1slur

They give children

adulthoodisokay

[source]

khealywu

this is so bad this is the worst thing

crocodile-dandy

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

drilanime

cikero

I’m so mad that a t4 bacteriophage actually looks like that and that it’s appearance isn’t made up

cikero

this is how they look in all the models

this is how they actually look

like they really fucking look like that. in real life

somniiloquy

viruses are literally such bullshit they have the nerve to look like this and they aren’t even ALIVE

valtsv

clarenecessities

there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”

crockpotcauldron

pukicho

Beatles songs sound the same. They all have that part in the song where the vocals get all compressed and radio-y and then they say something like: “Mister willy and his big fat hands are gonna smack your mummies glands until the cows come home” with a piano every half bar and then everyone over the age of 40 decides to never listen to any other genre of music or new group ever again.

femaleshits

arandomthot

Death can catch these hands

chuunibyou

thyrell

if i was a fullmetal alchemist character id probably last like two episodes because i cant draw circles to save my life, on my first try i draw something like this and it explodes in my face because its just so fucking awful