GiveUp/GiveIn

L.G. Fuad

[over-it-now]

I’m much more emotionally stable than I was at my last post.

But that’s not saying much.

[over-it-now]

Between the election news and finding out that my ex is dating my former neighbor….

I don’t really wanna be alive at the moment.

[over-it-now]

Me: I am done with dating and romance. It is a waste of my time and energy.

Also Me: *starts reading and rewatching Normal People*

Me:

[wolfertinger666]

comic about isolation and trauma

[over-it-now]

I think I’m getting further away from what I want to be doing career-wise and I don’t know if I’ll ever make enough money to start my own business.

[over-it-now]

Holding out for a Roy Kent.

[cosimaloveshalloween]

[over-it-now]

Me: I need to stop spending money and save for my next apartment.

Also Me:

[over-it-now]

I know I’m usually a sad sack over here but things are looking up.

I have been safe and stable enough the past few months to pay off some debt and free up some money to be more financially secure when I move into a new place.

I am at a workplace where I am respected and compensated well enough that I can regain my independence and work toward financial stability.

I am prioritizing myself in all areas: Mind, Body, Spirit

I am feeling content with my life at the moment and don’t feel the need to seek validation. I’m not dating or planning to date. Romance is not a factor in my life at the moment.

I am feeling shakily optimistic.

[over-it-now]

Me: *on my healing journey*

People: *projecting their unprocessed trauma and insecurities onto me*

Me:

[over-it-now]

My daily breakfast buddy.

[over-it-now]

Sunday reading.

Sorry Mom.

[over-it-now]

I feel like I’m just never gonna make it.

Like the second something goes right, something else goes really wrong.

I crave my independence but I can’t be independent and physically, emotionally, or mentally healthy.

I just don’t want to play this game anymore. I can’t win. I can’t even level up.

[over-it-now]

You can still make time for someone even if you cannot prioritize them.

You can still hold space for someone even if you do not have the capacity to invest too deeply.

You can still show up for people in your life without sacrificing your own wants and needs.

You can still love someone without being in love with them.

[over-it-now]

Don’t mind me.

Just losing sleep over a mediocre man who couldn’t be bothered to give me less than the bare minimum.

[over-it-now]

My best friend of 10 years imploded our friendship to the point of threatening and endangering me and the only person who was there to ease that just informed me that he was basically cheating on his partner with me.

I quit. I fucking quit.

I can’t trust anyone and I need to just do it alone from now on.

[over-it-now]

I am officially done dating.

Done.