QUOTES

My friends say some weird stuff

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "That's a fire hazard."

Person 2: "You're a fire hazard! You're too hot~"

Person 1: "No, the arson."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "It feels so weird that it's £19.97"

Person 2: "...it's [year]!"

Person 1: "The price! Do you think Tony Blair is still prime minister?"

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1, looking for caster sugar: "Found it!"

Person 2: "No, that's granulated sugar. Try again."

Person 1, looking again: "This is brown caster sugar, that's basically the same as normal caster sugar right?"

Person 2: "No? Where have you been going to sugar school?"

Person 1: "My parents told me they were the same just in different colours."

Person 2: "Your parents have been feeding you sugar lies."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: “I’m really worried about my partner, I don’t think they’re doing well. They’re isolating themself from everyone, including me.”

Person 2: “…Have I told you about the time I stole a chair?”

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "[Person 2], why do you have a bruise on your chin?"

Person 2, looking in a mirror: "[Person 3]! You gave me a chin hickey!"

Person 1, turning to the group: "And this is why we don't bite our partners chins."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1, leaving the house late at night because why not: "I have free will! I can do what I want!"

Person 2: "I also have free will!" *pours water over [Person 1]'s head*

Person 1: *pours water over [Person 2]'s head*

*both stand there in silence for a few moments*

Person 2: "I don't think either of us won here."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "Start a muntjac suicide cult, that's a new one."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "What's the name for good flashbacks?"

Person 2: "...memories?"

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1, at half 5 PM: "I was wondering why I felt so tired and bleary and then realised that I've not drank any water yet today"

Person 1, a few minutes later: "I drank water and now feel significantly better. What is this sorcery."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "I LOVE BEING HIGH!!"

Person 2: "Congrats! I'd love being high if someone didn't ban me."

Person 3: "Multiple people."

Person 2: "Yeah, multiple people."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "That's a nice tattoo"

Person 2, after a few moments: "Did you look at it properly?"

Person 1: "...oh! That's a penis!"

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1, after being away from the group for a while: "It's very good to see you; nothing normal is happening at all."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "If you were a worm, I'd put you in my mouth."

Person 2: "....... I'm uncomfortable."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1, calling Person 2 whilst cleaning out their car: "Oh, that's where the car vodka went!"

Person 2: "WHY DO YOU HAVE CAR VODKA????"

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1 (sending a link in a groupchat): "Me+Who?"

Person 2: "Whenever you send a link with "Me+who", I never know if it's going to be something cute, or the most grotesque thing I'll see that day."

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1 (reading off a question of the day chart): "What chore do you always put off?"

Person 2: "This question feels like an attack so I won’t be answering"

[overheard-incorrect-quotes]

Person 1: "Why are we in this situation?"

Person 2: "Literally [Person 3] is a problem that refuses to be resolved."