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Just when it seemed too easy,

Too easy,

Too unreal,

Too happy,

Too calm,

Too steady,

And yet it’s just too easy to bring in the peace

Too hard to commit,

Too hard to breathe,

Too hard to smile,

Look you in the eyes,

Stay a while,

Too easy to bring in the peace,

So life keeps telling me

There Are Some Things That Have Been Helping Me “Fix” My BPD, Depression, And PTSD. Here are a couple;

Meditations, Marcus Aurelius

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

They’re both relatively easy reads. And both are established writings, so they will be available at your local library.

These alone won’t fix anything. But they will provide some tools to start the healing.

It Was Her, She Just Wasn’t Brave Enough

The right one will always turn down an excuse to show love to you,

The right one uplifts you’re dreams yet still lives in reality,

The right one will always show up and face their own mistakes,

Even if their fuck up means they’ve certainly lost you along the way,

The right one is humane and decent,

The right one is a little strange and romantic,

The right one values your presence,

The right one never makes way for your absence

By OxyregretsGen

To Cure A Flying Bird

Watch me go from weak to strong,

Watch me accomplish all the things that The Broken dream of,

And as I venture further into my light,

I will disappear from your sight,

But if you ever catch a glimpse of me in the future,

Know that the moment you lost me was the moment I was cured

By OxyregretsGen

Box Jellyfish

You’ve never been in more pain than when;

Falling soul-deep in love,

Madly in love,

Split-the-sky in love,

With the wrong person,

That is until you’re just as in love with;

The right person,

A person who doesn’t know you love them,

I imagine

By OxyregretsGen

He’s A Sinner

I awoke from another fever dream,

A place drowned in cold sweat,

At the onset of open eyelids,

There streamed a cloudy and final drop,

Before it could free fall to my pillow top,

I felt the after image of your fingertips,

Wipe away that last sin that I did commit

By OxyregretsGen

Hell Isn’t Double Occupancy

Why curse the hot winds when they’re the only ones who still kiss my scorched lips?

Why long in your absence,

When you were never really here to begin with?

Only in my search for the greatest of journeys,

Did I become to you a most failed memory,

And if today you stumbled upon my shell

Like a sign pointing to danger yet urging you to not linger about,

I’d gladly welcome you back into my hell,

For its only you that could ever pull me back out

By OxyregretsGen

#poetry #poem

Locks From The Outside-In

If all I can do is hold on to you,

I hope that when you’re thinking of hurting me,

That’s enough for you,

To stop at the door and rethink if you’ll leave

By OxyregretsGen

Random thoughts #0001

Is it too much to ask?

I want to meet a woman who has understanding for all of me,

But has understanding for herself too,

Like I could have an episode,

She’d coach me through it,

She could have an episode,

And coach herself through it,

And...oh my god...

I want to date my therapist...

Our next session is either going to be magical or a real train wreck...FML

Unidentified Flying Suspect

I miss the old me,

The one who couldn’t wait to grow out of the now me,

The one so alive,

Ready to take on life,

I miss the way I was with friends,

I miss the days when I still had them,

I used to be such a lover,

Now I’m stuck trying to get over her,

Sometimes I think about destiny,

I used to think it wasn’t for me,

And now I realize I could use a path,

I’d walk it forward even if I could never go back,

I’d walk it over and off a cliff,

And hope the landing has a gift?

Maybe the end has a new beginning?

I miss the old me’s wisdom,

More doing, and less questions

By OxyregretsGen

Human Suits

What are we but animals,

Wearing civilized skin,

Angry at nonsense,

Yelling at the wind,

The sauce of passion,

Joy deep from within,

Violence and romance,

Pain and new beginnings,

What are we but naked animals,

Scratching the surface of existence,

Clothes in cotton,

Soaked in lack of wisdom,

What are we but stupid children,

Unknowing if the truths,

Smiling at sunsets,

Howling at the moon,

What are we but animals,

With names all different,

One for each confused soul,

So we could find one another,

And never be alone,

What are we but sweet,

And gentle,

And raw and mental,

A bit crazy,

Or very much mad,

What are we but artists, and lovers,

And animals that make and destroy,

What are we but the only ones that are def aware,

Or too arrogant to really know,

What are we but human animals?

By OxyregretsGen

Good Mourning Moon

I’m afraid to fall asleep,

To see your face in my dreams,

To fall in love with a friend,

And wake up in the morning,

Just to lose you all over again

By OxyregretsGen

#poetry #love

There is so much that makes us healthy in this world,

Living amongst love, the sun, under the stars and the moon,

There is so much healing outside our walls,

The water, warmth, freshness and bountifulness of earth,

These things can never be taken,

But they can be relinquished,

Yet that cannot be lost,

For they wait outside of your prison

By OxyregretsGen

Apparently it has been 6 years since my world fell apart and I started this tumblr in response. Damn, this has been a shitty time in my life, but I’m glad you’ve all been here to support me through it. Even if it’s only to occasionally stop be and say hi. Thank you.

I sit here in perpetual repeatedness,

Making up words because I’ve said them all,

My favorite films kickstart my wondering,

The poems both read and written,

Peel the layers from my heart with ink stained fingertips,

See what’s underneath the meat,

Fraudulent faces and make believe joys,

Fiction amongst the walls of past homes,

Past homes amongst the fantasies of ghosts,

But at the core I see a glimmer of hope,

Now that I’m but a bit of meat,

I see that there is nothing covering what has always been underneath,

Underneath the speaking done by books, cinema, and melodies,

Past these worldly urges and layers of ego,

I am merely a grand soul that does not belong,

For I cry when sunsets are too beautiful,

I yip, jump, in unison with waves and winds,

I do not belong and these authors and artists are all trying to tell everyone the same things,

I do not belong,

None of us do,

And that is beautiful

By OxyregretsGen

And no one explained that you could be furiously angry at

And yet still in love with your enemy

By OxyregretsGen

I had no idea that my heart’s been broken since the day I met you 19 years ago,

I had forgotten the sting of fresh pain,

Wrote off any hurt as mere discomfort,

But glass in the chest may feel like it belongs,

To anyone who’d carry it for far too long

By OxyregretsGen

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