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[p0ets-suck]

Thankyou Universe, for all you've brought to me

I am no longer as afraid to be who I'm really meant to be

[p0ets-suck]

We were good

In each others presence

But now

I feel you

Uncomfortable

Every time I am near you

Unwanting my love

You might be able to keep yourself away from me

But you can't take this memory

[p0ets-suck]

Everyone else annoys me

And you don't annoy me enough

But I'd rather you not annoy me enough than me be with someone who just gets on my nerves

[p0ets-suck]

I am trying to move on

To find someone else

Who could possibly be a match for me

But nobody seems to fit

[p0ets-suck]

I feel this rage inside me

I hate feeling

Whenever I'm in your presence I am warm

I can't imagine

A good life

If I am to never see you again

But I'm afraid

I can't live happily

With you in it not loving me the same

[p0ets-suck]

He will never love me again

While I'm stuck on him like glue

I cannot stop giving parts of me

To you

[p0ets-suck]

Tryna ignore that I'm still in love with my ex from 3 years ago but it's so fucking hard

How do I fully let go

It's like it's suck on me

I still get sad that he didn't work harder for me

I still get sad when I remember how fucking cute we were

I still feel like I could've done something differently to make him stay

Can I for one day, have peace when I remember we used to be together and be okay that we aren't and won't be again

[p0ets-suck]

I can't sleep tonight

Because I can't stop thinking about running away and starting over

As a new person in a new place

Where nobody can judge me for who I am

They'll just have to accept it

But then what if I can't escape it

I still can't escape the worry and the anxiousness

No matter how far away I am

Because I won't be able to face the fact that I had to leave because I was forced to be worried they wouldn't love me for who I wanted to be

And I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about

How easy they'd be getting on without me

Or what if I was replaced or they found someone better

And I just damn wish

Things were so much easier than this

[p0ets-suck]

Once again

I find myself

In a place I am not very fond of

Drink nightly

Slumber late

I am lost

Spontaneous living

And just maybe I would be alright

If my chaos wasn't once again unorganised

[p0ets-suck]

If you are real, I think I believe in God

[p0ets-suck]

I just feel so fucking alone sometimes

[p0ets-suck]

You may find it easy to become unmotivated when you don't start to see results

But push through

Nothing good comes easy

It's all about consistency

[p0ets-suck]

If only there was a possibility that I could be the girl you'd want me to be, or that I could be so special to you that you wouldn't want anybody else

But it is not possible and I do not know how to get over it

And so I lay here when I have free time, with you stuck in my mind and I am forced to look for distractions to ease the frustration

I can't stop worrying about who could be your next favourite girl or when you'll find one

And I can't stop feeling miserable knowing that it won't ever be me again

[p0ets-suck]

and there it was again to remind her, that she was only just another girl, and that it was all she'll ever be

[p0ets-suck]

It's difficult to find the right words to say

When it's all so muddled up in your mind

And the wrong words

Could mean loss

So maybe it's safer

To not speak at all

[p0ets-suck]

I need a way out of this place

Away from society and the things that make me feel less of myself

I need to escape the every day life of my mind

Attacking me for things I cannot change

[p0ets-suck]

I don't think I'll ever understand why I feel the way I do sometimes

And I don't think I'll ever understand why I have to be so possessive and particular about things

Couldn't things just be easy on me

Could I find a way to be okay with the way things naturally are