Thankyou Universe, for all you've brought to me
I am no longer as afraid to be who I'm really meant to be
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@p0ets-suck
Thankyou Universe, for all you've brought to me
I am no longer as afraid to be who I'm really meant to be
We were good
In each others presence
But now
I feel you
Uncomfortable
Every time I am near you
Unwanting my love
You might be able to keep yourself away from me
But you can't take this memory
Everyone else annoys me
And you don't annoy me enough
But I'd rather you not annoy me enough than me be with someone who just gets on my nerves
I am trying to move on
To find someone else
Who could possibly be a match for me
But nobody seems to fit
I feel this rage inside me
I hate feeling
Whenever I'm in your presence I am warm
I can't imagine
A good life
If I am to never see you again
But I'm afraid
I can't live happily
With you in it not loving me the same
He will never love me again
While I'm stuck on him like glue
I cannot stop giving parts of me
To you
Tryna ignore that I'm still in love with my ex from 3 years ago but it's so fucking hard
How do I fully let go
It's like it's suck on me
I still get sad that he didn't work harder for me
I still get sad when I remember how fucking cute we were
I still feel like I could've done something differently to make him stay
Can I for one day, have peace when I remember we used to be together and be okay that we aren't and won't be again
I can't sleep tonight
Because I can't stop thinking about running away and starting over
As a new person in a new place
Where nobody can judge me for who I am
They'll just have to accept it
But then what if I can't escape it
I still can't escape the worry and the anxiousness
No matter how far away I am
Because I won't be able to face the fact that I had to leave because I was forced to be worried they wouldn't love me for who I wanted to be
And I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about
How easy they'd be getting on without me
Or what if I was replaced or they found someone better
And I just damn wish
Things were so much easier than this
Once again
I find myself
In a place I am not very fond of
Drink nightly
Slumber late
I am lost
Spontaneous living
And just maybe I would be alright
If my chaos wasn't once again unorganised
If you are real, I think I believe in God
I just feel so fucking alone sometimes
You may find it easy to become unmotivated when you don't start to see results
But push through
Nothing good comes easy
It's all about consistency
If only there was a possibility that I could be the girl you'd want me to be, or that I could be so special to you that you wouldn't want anybody else
But it is not possible and I do not know how to get over it
And so I lay here when I have free time, with you stuck in my mind and I am forced to look for distractions to ease the frustration
I can't stop worrying about who could be your next favourite girl or when you'll find one
And I can't stop feeling miserable knowing that it won't ever be me again
and there it was again to remind her, that she was only just another girl, and that it was all she'll ever be
It's difficult to find the right words to say
When it's all so muddled up in your mind
And the wrong words
Could mean loss
So maybe it's safer
To not speak at all
I need a way out of this place
Away from society and the things that make me feel less of myself
I need to escape the every day life of my mind
Attacking me for things I cannot change
I don't think I'll ever understand why I feel the way I do sometimes
And I don't think I'll ever understand why I have to be so possessive and particular about things
Couldn't things just be easy on me
Could I find a way to be okay with the way things naturally are