Thoughts pinging around in a vast, empty space called my skull

Pronouns are- xe/xem/xeirself. ve/ver/verself. it/its/itself. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. - 𝐄𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 est- 16/6/2024 (𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑠𝑜 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐼𝑓 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑, 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑.)

[p3rpetual-moti0n]

*ੈ✩·₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩·₊˚

⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

There’s a god-awful shitty feeling of dread in my heart

Yeah, it’s got a lot to do with having to finish what I start

And at any second now I think it all might fall apart

‘Cause there’s a god-awful shitty feeling of dread in my heart

There’s a devil in my brain with a pitchfork and a flame

Yeah, he likes to poke around and he likes to tell me things

And whenever I begin to feel like I might be deranged

I remember there’s a little shitty devil in my brain

[PT under cut]

⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

*ੈ✩·₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩·₊˚

♡ Riri/James/Castor ♡ xe/xem/xeir/xeirself, ve/ver/verself, it/its/itself ♡ Lesbian ♡

I'm a chronic over-yapper + over-sharer lmao. Also I swear a lot. More on the long intro. Like a lot lot more.

I am really inconsistent with reaching out to people. I'm sorry, I know it sucks, I don't know how to fix it. I'll almost always talk to you if you talk to me first but it may take a while.

check this website out (full of amazing space-related pictures)

Waayyyy longer Intro <3

Also! Pretty sure I'm plural (like 85% sure) so sometimes I'll use we in reference to me but most of the time we will be used as in "me and the people I was with". The plurality doesn't affect y'all cause nobody else from my mind palace fronts they just bum around said mind palace occasionally talking to me. So yeah. PSA I guess.

While I am an eternally anxious being, I block as freely as my brain allows. If I just happen to not like you, blocked. If you say something I morally disagree with (this is for stuff like LBGTQ+ rights, racism, not for things like fandom discourse [eg headcannons, ships] or what kind of eggs you like), blocked. I try not to be political on here (cause it lowk confuses me) so if your tooooooo political, probably blocked. I am not against anyone with a mental health disorder, my blog is a safe space <3.

(creds to @cursed-carmine for the dividers)

[PT for the lyrics-

There’s a god-awful shitty feeling of dread in my heart

Yeah, it’s got a lot to do with having to finish what I start

And at any second now I think it all might fall apart

‘Cause there’s a god-awful shitty feeling of dread in my heart

]

There’s a devil in my brain with a pitchfork and a flame

Yeah, he likes to poke around and he likes to tell me things

And whenever I begin to feel like I might be deranged

I remember there’s a little shitty devil in my brain

[uncle-fruity]

Listen, kids, don't let transphobia seep into your ideology just because it's being sold to you as activism! Here's a little list to protect you from adopting transphobic beliefs:

-- There is never a good reason to mock someone's gender identity and/or pronouns! Criticize people on their actions, not their identity.

-- "Transfeminism" encapsulates the issues of all trans people, as studied through a feminist lens. There is no way to exclude a whole group of trans people from transfeminism without being transphobic. Anyone who tells you transfeminism is exclusive to one type of trans person is lying to you and possibly themselves.

-- Trans people speaking about their bodies and how those bodies are affected under a patriarchal system are never misgendering themselves.

-- Body parts =/= gender! That's bioessentialism and will always be transphobic and intersexist.

-- No gender identity can be reduced down to one stereotype or one personality type. That's gender essentialism, which will never not be transphobic (and misogynistic, while we're at it).

-- Don't take people who weaponize transphobia against people they don't like as authorities on transfeminism. There is no amount of bad behavior that deserves to be met with transphobia.

Y'all got it?

[c4nd1e]

Okay I think I’ve figured out how evil Rocky would work. (From yesterday’s discussion)

Right so once Grace and Rocky get back to Erid, Rocky would have the eridian’s build the dome that Grace lives in at the end of both movie and book.

But from several points within the dome there would be tiny cracks or holes to let the ammonia seep in. And there would have to be multiple due to the fact that ammonia is less dense than air.

And at first Grace would just think that he was sick due to the irritation to his nose, eyes and throat. When in reality it’s the cellular destruction, and chemical burns effecting him from inhaling the ammonia.

————————————————————————

Now there is one problem with this approach, is that the oxygen from the air within the dome could escape due to the cracks while the ammonia goes in.

And to that I say, what if the eridians made a bigger dome around grace’s one. One that keeps the tainted air in. And once grace had kicked the bucket Rocky and whoever else could use the ball method (what Rocky moves around in when he’s in the Mary) to deconstruct everything like he was never there.

I mean who’s going to miss Grace. Both his teammates are dead and Earth has already gotten the beetles back so they don’t need him anymore. He’s alone.

Alone and dead.

:D

————————————————————————

Hope you like my little theory

@p3rpetual-moti0n I think I figured it out

[p3rpetual-moti0n]

daamn this is fiiire yesss yes yess.

another way to get ammonia in and keep oxygen away could be a specific entry and exit point with pumps, like ammonia is pumped in from the regular atmosphere and the oxygen is pumped out and released into space/into a bubble or something.

and right, teammates dead, taumoeba is being farmed on erid and earth, plus earth isnt expecting to hear from Grace at all after the beetles, even if they think he's 'alive'.

but what would rocky/the eridians' motivation be for this? im thinking a mix of fear of the alien (from the rest of erid), disdain for him cause hes using up a lotta resources, but idk about anything else?

[p3rpetual-moti0n]

i have this orchid plant whos called cecilia and ive had her for just over a year now. ive kept her alive for that long with semi-regular watering, but there are definetely periods of time where i dont water her enough and she starts to wilt. i walk past the spot shes in every day and see her dying every day, but i dont water her. i feel guilty about not watering her enough, but i dont water her.

anyway i think thats similar to how i lose friends.

[laterkiss]

[quietwingsinthesky]

look, i work at a morgue, i get to see every day how withered and small bodies can get when someone was sick. it’s awful. do you know how bone-thin a leg can get. or how a stomach really looks beneath the ribs when it’s wasted away. the way people’s eyes and cheeks press in to their skull like they’re clinging on for dear life. they died like that, and you want to try and sell me a lie, a pill, a miracle cure that’ll make me live in that state? that’ll make my friends look like that, my family, the people i love? to see corpses in them?

this job makes me appreciate all the more bodies lived in and well-loved. please eat that second serving. please give yourself treats as much as you want. life is not long enough to suffer through it. you’ll be plenty skinny when you’re dead.

[starlyt]

my hobbies? Uhhhhh symbolism mostly. metaphors and implications and the like.

[k-0re]

love toph sm

[mihai-florescu]

Languages tend to peak at their word for butterfly. Never seen 2 that are the same, either. Papillon. Mariposa. Borboleta. Fluture. Vlinder. Schmetterling. Pillangó. Babochka. Farfalla. Sommerfugl. Perhonen. Farasha. Titali. Chōchō. Nabi. Húdié. Buom buom. Great job guys, i really mean it.

[soapdispensersalesman]

I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon

[zevveli]

StumbleUpon once sent me to a supercut of Lion King, Lion King 1 1/2, and Lion King II, the main edit being that the scenes of Lion King and Lion King 1 1/2 were interspersed so that they happened in the order they actually happened.

[redpandarascal]

stumbleupon not existing anymore can be directly traced to a dramatic decline in my mental health, I could do a thesis on it.

[musashi]

bestie stumbleupon very much still exists its just called cloudhiker now. i use it all the time.

[lesbiassoon]

mini compilation of suggestions from the replies:

The Bored Button - "Press the Bored Button and be bored no more."

The Useless Web

Cloudhiker - "Discover the most interesting, weird and awesome websites of the Internet" (not really a rebrand, it's a different person running it but they have the same intention in mind)

Astronaut.io - "These videos come from YouTube. They were uploaded in the last week and have titles like DSC 1234 and IMG 4321. They have almost zero previous views. They are unnamed, unedited, and unseen (by anyone but you)."

Marginalia - "This is an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed."

[no-one-offical]

‎

[totally-cis-offical]

I used to love take me to a useless website

[raishe]

I decided to do a session through cloudhiker and found a neat radio station called Ambience Antartica, so cool things are out there guys!

[jeannefostergoriot]

Ok tag game cause I’m bored, I found the square and I think it’d be fun/liked as an experiment :

Where would you place your gender on that square? No pressure of course

@alaydabug2 @arlosworld91 @wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever @aroacegrimreaper @cassieisinthebasementt @kale-of-the-forbidden-cities @mildlybizarrecorvid @mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am @castleofravens @anarchist-aquarius

Mine:

[eating-the-sand]

@candlelight-art @mikeandwillsweddingofficiant @jasper-ghoust @spiderboy-17 @floorgle @astralduck08 @thatdangspacenerd @astermeansstar @generic-sandbox-member @ozzy-from-the-cafeteria @quoththewarlock @xleomustdiex @yoursmileonmyshoulder @zemikite +open tags

[astralduck08]

A6 or D1 (non-binary or genderless leaning male)

tags: @beetlesyourjuice @because-i-do-it-all-the-time @the-pale-blue-boy @lukas-likes-things @ozzy-from-the-cafeteria @pikatora @chimeramirror @el-otro-telefono @this-wretched-old-routine and open tags!!

[lukas-likes-things]

def A3 :P

tags: @corpusdiem-seizethedead @gingerengineer @sleepybunny6 +open tags

[gingerengineer]

Currently like D2 maybe?

It’s an ongoing exploration

@kaiversustheworld @corpusdiem-seizethedead @ursam1n0r @vaeisstillalivesomehow

[ursam1n0r]

um like C6 or F2 I think (i lowk gave up on working out wth my gender is)

@twoblereon @i-hate-gcse-english-lit-offical @houseplant-number701 @slick-thinks-about-mincemeat @danixlo @trans-ewenmontagu @lovelyrollinghills @lonely-shinedown-fan @axofr25 @pumpkinlambda + open tags :)

[i-hate-gcse-english-lit-offical]

Somewhere here maybe

Open tags (i need a moots list)

[p3rpetual-moti0n]

aaaallllll of this shit and then also imagine theres a third axis going into 3d and imagine theres some scribbles there too

open tags

[solarsyrup]

the unimaginable power of saying "huh, guess that's not for me" and moving on with your life

[forsapphics]

New York City, 1970s

[drops-of-universe]

*genuinely absorbed zero information* got it

[elllapamoved]

The struggle is real

[twinkprison]

the tiktokification of tumblr needs to be stopped

[twinkprison]

we don’t censor words here stop acting like a fool, when you censor words and tags people who have that word filtered due to triggers will still see it

[sassycurse]

one of the best feelings tbh