@the327th-starcorps
Lion struggles to keep a hold on all the paperwork he was carrying. He had been tasked to bring the paperwork to the commander today. Which he takes very seriously but itâs just very hard to carry it all. Maybe he should have taken a bag with him. He trips over his own two feet making the paperwork fall on the ground. âNo,no!â He said panicking, he canât ruin the commanders paperwork.
@the327th-starcorps
Cal sticks his head out of the room where heâd been sparring with a friend. âH-hey there! Are you okay?â He asked, scrambling over to the cloneâs side. He put a hand on the trooperâs back and gave him a gentle pat. âAre you okay? Are you hurt? Oh! Here let me help you pick all this up!â He said, dropping to his knees and scrabbling to collect all the leaves of paper, albeit some of the forms end up ripped and crumpled. âWhatâs your name! Iâm... im new here today so I do g know anybody. Iâm Cal,â he said, waving an elbow, as his arms were full of papers.
Crows was momentarily taken aback and stood frozen, rooted to the spot. He wasnât sure what he had been expecting but that wasnât it. Admittedly, yes, there was a very real part of him that had been certain that Lion would never be able to forgive him--heâd lost a leg for Forcesake! His mouth suddenly felt very dry. âLion, weâre going to do everything we can to prevent that from happening. Itâs-â going to be alright, is what he wanted to say but... he knew thatâs not what Lion wanted. Lion wanted the truth, not a sugar-coated lie. â-complicated. Its complicated. But weâll do everything we can to stop that from happening,â He longed to sit down beside Lion, to protect him, to assure him, to comfort him, but it felt wrong. He took a halfstep towards the bed, not willing to risk moving closer. âMeg wonât let that happen. Iâm sure the General and the Commander wonât either. Not to mention, Commander Kestis and his master will probably vouch for us too,âÂ
Lion wipes his tears away trying to calm down as he doesnât want to wake up Cal. He feels so torn he wants Crows to come closer and hug him but at the same time he doesnât want him to do so. He knows his words were true even when said in panic. He has forgiven Crows and the others. He could never blame them for this, even if the memories still scare him. It has only been a day of course they would still scare him.
âPlease I donât want to loose my friends.â Lion says softly, his forbidden thought of Crows as his buir coming back up. He looks down at his hands. âMeg said that you werenât in control and the Commander said so too. Why do they still want to court martial You? I donât understand.â Lion says. He knows Meg will vouch for Crows and the others. Meg and Crows seemed very close and are best friends. He knows also for a fact that Cal would and maybe he can vouch for them too. After all he knows them too and he knows they wouldnât do that ever.
âI just want everything to go back to normal, everything is so weird now. I donât want to be torn anymore.â He Looks at Cal, battling with himself if he should tell Crows about the Commanderâs offer.
âWe donât know yet if they want to court martial us. All I know is that itâs a possibility. They might, but if they do, there are a lot of people that will fight for us,â he assured. âIâm not- Lion itâs alright, I promise itâs alright. Iâm not going anywhere. I wonât let them take us away,â he said, finally giving into his urge to make assurances.
Crows stepped closer, just a little bit. âTorn?â he asked softly? How do you mean?â He asked. Then, realizing that towering over the poor kid was probably intimidating, he moved just close enough to sit down in a chair, trying to make himself smaller than the poor kid in the bed, trying to make himself less of a threat.
Lion looks at Crows following him with his eyes. He wants to belief Crows words so badly, he wants to belief everything is going to be. âOkay.â He says softly, he knows a lot of people will have their back.
He looks unsure at Crows not sure what to say he doesnât want to hurt Crows feelings. He can see how careful he is being with him. âI Uhm....I just am torn between wanting a hug from you and wanting the comfort. But I also donât want it because I still see it you know. It was really scary. I mean I know it wasnât you I know that but I canât help it. You didnât regonize me at all I tried to talk to you but you just didnât seem to know me.â Lion confesses softly. âIâm not scared of you but Iâm scared of the memories.â
Crows was silent for a long time, dropping his head and fixing his gaze on the floor. Admittedly, it did hurt. It hurt a lot. But the worst part was that it wasnât undeserved. All he could do was try and fix it. âHey, you know, itâs alright to feel like that. To be afraid. I know itâs- itâs not personal,â he said softly, and managed a little smile. âItâs understandable. Reguardless of whether of not we were in control, it was still us, and we hurt you, so thatâs... understandably traumatic. I understand if you need time to sort it all out,â
Lion looks at Crows his eyes searching for answers to his own fears. But all he sees is just Crows who cares for him like he has been doing since they met. âBut it feels so horrible to be scared, I just want to go back to everything being normal. I want to go back to bickering with â31. I want to go back to relaxing with you and Meg. I just want it go back to normal.â Lion says looking defeated. âI donât want to have leave alone. I want you to come with me.â Lion says tears once again welling up in his eyes. Today has just been to much on him, to much happened all at once for him to be able to hold them back.
Crows simply couldnât take it anymore. He scooted closer tugged Lion into his arms. He was mindful of the little commander, but poor Cal was out like a light. âBe patient with yourself, kid,â he said softly. âGetting over things like this takes time. Donât beat yourself up for feeling like this, itâs been like, a day. Give yourself some credit, what you did was pretty damn brave. You just need to rest and take it easy and youâll be through this in a heartbeat. Youâre not alone here, Lion. Youâve got a whole battalion of vode looking out for you. Youâve got me, youâve got Meg, â31 and Chalk will be your and at âem in no time,â
Lion clings to him taking in the comfort Crows is giving him. He loves Crows hugs they feel very grounding. He snivels softly nodding his head. Crows is right he is not alone in this, even if his brain wants him to belief he is. He is safe and he will be fine he just needs time. âThank you Crows.â Lion says softly. âItâs just been a lot today. But Iâm happy you are here, it good to know you are okay too.â Lion says softly looking up at Crows. âI was worried when I woke up alone here, I was scared of what had happened after I passed out. I vaguely remembered that the Commander came in, but after that nothing. All I know I had been told.â At the last part lion looks at Cal. âIâm really happy Cal found me when I dropped all that paperwork. It made that we were in the right place at the right time. So we could help you and safe the others. Though the Commander had been so brave during everything.â Lion hadnt noticed that he had called Cal by his name instead of Commander.
Crows held Lion close, and couldnât help but smile at how close heâd grown to the padawan. âMaker... he really is just a kid. But... you know those Jedi. They make âem tough. Heâll pull through. So will you. Iâm glad you met him too. He seems like a good kid and he seems like he really brings the best out in you. In spite of everything, I still think this is the most confident Iâve ever seen you,â
Carefully, Crows released Lion, very much not wanting Meg to wake up alone. âI... should leave you be, let you rest. Do you want me to leave the curtain open?â
Lion nods his head. âHe is great like that, he so young though he is really scared too. I think you are right I donât think I could have done this all if it wasnât for him. The Commander has been already a great support and even when I was super awkward he still wanted to be my friend.â Lion says softly, yawning.
âMaybe close the curtain no need for others to see us sleep.â Lion shrugs. âWill you come back? I did like having you here even if I still have things I have to work on, I did really like having you here.â Lion says looking hopeful at Crows.
âI think maybe the kid needed a fried as much as you do,â he said softly. âThat, and youâre hair matches, so maybe it was meant to be,â Crows said with a shrug and a little smile.
âYeah, Iâll be back. Iâll definitely come back as soon as I can,â Crows promised as he got to his feet. âFirst thing tomorrow morning, Iâll come and sit with you,â He reached out to ruffle Lionâs hair. âGoodnight, kid. Iâll see you in the morning,â he closed the curtain behind him and tiptoed back to Megâs bed, feeling much better than he had been.
Lion likes that thought that they were meant to be friends. It was nice to not feel weird about his hair. For once he really doesnât mind having a different natural hair colour.
âGoodnight Crows.â Lion echos gently lowering himself until he lays down on the bed. He likes the thought off having Crows here again. Even if he feels scared still, he knows he will be okay again. He relaxes and slowly calms down again to fall asleep.
Meg was still sleeping peacefully hugging the pillow close to him. His hair already ruffled from having run his own hand through his hair many times today.
Crows slid back into the bed that was most definitely only designed for one person, shifting awkwardly to attempt to accommodate for the both of them. However, eventually he got himself situated, with Meg nestled peacefully in his arms. Finally feeling completely at ease with everything that had happened he drifted off to sleep, after tugged the blanket back up over them.
It was the best sleep heâd ever had in his life. Which was good, became things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.
Chalk âwoke upâ at some point during the night, meaning that his eyes had opened. He was, however, completely unresponsive to any external stimuli. A medic would later identify this as a dissociative event in response to trauma. Chalk was, apparently, so troubled by what he had been forced to do, that he couldnât cope with it and retreated into his head.
Worse still, â31 passed away, succumbing to his injuries and subsequent fever.
Meg wakes up to someone shaking his shoulder carefully. He blinks wake only to find himself cuddled up to a still sleeping Crows. âMeg are you awake?â A soft asks. Meg turns to look over his shoulder seeing Sea standing there.
âSea whatâs going on?â He asks whispering as to not wake Crows up. He slowly sits up on the bed looking better at Sea. He notices his red eyes like he has just cried. âHey Sea talk to me whatâs wrong?â Meg asks worried for the other.
âMeg I...Itâs â31. Iâm so sorry Meg he...he has passed away overnight. We think that the brain trauma was to much in combination with the control unite. We passed in his sleep.â Sea tells him.
Meg looks him with disbelief. âNo he canât be! Before I slept he had been doing better he was doing alright. He canât be... he canât be.â He Meg trails off with a whisper.
âIm afraid Meg itâs not all there is.â Sea says placing a hand on Megs shoulder.
Crows had been sleeping so peacefully, with an arm wrapped tight around Megâs waist. He cracked an eye open when he felt Meg shift in his arms. âHey, whatâs wrong? You alright?â He asked, not fully realized somebody else was standing over them.
âCmon, come and sleep some more,â he requested. Heâd been having such a good rest... he wasnât ready to let go just yet. However, after stretching and blinking, he realized, much to his embarrassment, that somebody else was there. âHey, um Sea. How are you?â He asked, his face flushed. âWhatâs wrong?â
Meg swallows harshly looking at Crows. âCrows I...â Kriff how is he suppose to tell him â31 had passed away after promising he would be okay now. Meg looks back at Sea silently begging him to say it.
Sea sighs softly nodding his head. He looks up at Crows. âThere is some bad news Crows, I was just telling Meg about it. Iâm afraid that â31 has passed away during the night. We think his fever and the stress on his body have been to big for him to overcome. âIâm sorry for your lost.â He says softly rubbing Megs shoulder who is just staring at his hands feeling so lost.
âIâm so sorry Crows, Kriff Iâm so sorry.â Meg says looking at Crows with tears in his eyes.
Crowsâ eyes fluttered shut and he nodded slowly, shakily. âI... I understand,â was all he could manage to say. He felt like he was far away, like he was living in somebody elseâs body. â31 was dead? He almost couldnât wrap his head around it. He held onto Meg a little tighter. âAnd Chalk?â He asked timidly, almost afraid to know the answer. âHeâs- heâs still alive, isnât he?â
Meg sits closer to Crows looking scared at Chalk they canât loose another of their group please not Chalk too.
Sea sighs looking down for a second. âHe is alive and has woken up last night. Though he isnât doing good. He is not responding to anyone or anything even if something is held right in front of his eyes. We think that the trauma of what has happened today has been to much for him to handle so his brain went in survival mode. He is basically locked in his own head. He could get of it but that wonât be anytime soon and only he can get himself out of it. Iâm sorry Meg, Crows we tried what we could but there is nothing we can do now but wait. If you want to see either of them you can. If you can we encourage to talk to Chalk but we will understand if it is to much right now.â Sea says softly looking at them both with sympathy and understanding.
Crows visibly relaxed at the news about Chalk. âNo, no itâs okay. Itâs okay, heâs done this before. It happened first when we were cadets then a couple of times after his first battle. I... Iâm sorry. I never brought him to medical for it, I just took him back to my bunk every time because I knew he wasnât hurt and I didnât want... I didnât want it to show up on his record. Heâs fine. Heâll be alright. He comes out of it after a little while. Sometimes a couple of hours, sometimes a day or two. Iâll sit with him for a little while. Heâs just... gotta process it and figure out that heâs safe here. Iâm sorry I never told anybody,â he said softly.
It was a relief, really. Talking about Chalk was an easy distraction from thinking about â31. And he... he really didnât want to think about â31.
Meg squeezes his arm gently. âThank you sea for waking me up and telling us.â He says softly, Meg is still think of â31 blaming himself for what happened.
âIts the least I could do Meg, while I donât advice on keeping someone from the medics. I understand why you did it, though Iâm afraid it is in his record now. We had to diagnose him so we could help him. I know you have Meg on call and with you in seconds if something goes wrong but be careful with Chalk. I think him seeing what happened and learning about â31 might have him slip off again when he wakes up. Like I said you can say your last goodbye to â31 and we will give you room to do so properly. As he is here in the medbay we can give him a proper funeral. We can push it back for two days so we may give Chalk the change to see him too.â Sea explains softly. âWe have not Lion yet do you want to tell him or us?â
Crows knows he should probably be the one to tell Lion, but... But Calâs in there too, and Crows just doesnât know how to face the padawan and tell him that the man he struck is dead. So instead all he says is, âIâd appreciate it if you could let him know,â
âMeg... itâs not your fault. Itâs not, I promise. You did everything you could,â he said softly. âCome on lets... letâs go sit with Chalk or... we can see â31. Or go get something to eat. Itâll be okay, I promise,â he whispered, holding Meg close with shaking arms.
Sea nods his head. âOf course I will tell him when he wakes up. I donât have the heart to wake up either of them right now.â Sea says softly. âI will leave you two alone for now, if there is anything let me know.â Sea says walking away.
Its then that Meg let the tears fall. He leans against Crows as he shakes. âOh can it not be my fault Crows. I promised you he would be okay, I promised Lion that everything would be okay. Iâm scared Crows, what if I messed up during the surgery or we missed something.â Meg says his sounding broken. âHe didnât deserve this, he was doing better.â Meg says softly. âWe should check on Chalk.â Meg say whipping away his own tears.
Crows clung to Meg and held his breath to keep himself from crying. He had to be strong now, for Meg. Heâd cry later, when he was alone. Meg needed him now. He sucked in a ragged breath and threaded his fingers through Megâs hair. âMeg, it was you. You did everything you could, thereâs no point in blaming yourself. You did everything you could,â he protested.
He wanted to do something to fix this, to make things better. He wanted to kiss Meg, show him that he wasnât alone but... somehow it didnât feel right. He was afraid Meg would push him away, so instead he just held Megâs hand. âCome on. Letâs go see Chalk,â
âMaybe you are right.â Meg says softly, he wants to belief Crows words so badly. Meg sighs trying very hard to not cry again. Its not fair towards Crows. He can see Crows is holding back for his sake. âYeah letâs go see chalk.â He says standing up, he squeezes his hand. Today has been hard and impossible tasking on everyone. They walk over to Chalkâs bed next to theirs. Chalk lays their unmoving but no longer sleeping. Or at least it seems so as his eyes are open. Meg walls a little closer to the bed.
âHey Chalk buddy.â He says softly, he knows he wonât answer but saying nothing feels weird. He rather talks like everything is normal.
Crows moves to crouch beside Chalkâs head. âHey, Cmon bud. We know youâre really overwhelmed right now, but youâre safe here, youâre okay. This place is okay, itâs safe to come out now,â he whispered, trying trying to coax poor Chalk out of his catatonic state.
âDo you think Sea is upset with me? For withholding this information about Chalk?â He asked quietly. Crows was hardly one to seek out approval from others but... this whole situation was so strange, Crows found himself feeling off balance and unsure.
Meg crouch down next to him placing a hand on his shoulder. âNo he isnât upset with you, no one is. He really understands you wanted to keep this of his record even if we canât advice to keep it from the medics. You made the right call, now it only seems like a one time call instead of something that has happened a few times already. Sea is not upset with you, no one is.â Meg says softly.
âI think that Chalk is very grateful you kept it from the medics. Even if now some do know, it is what he wanted too.â Meg looks at Chalk gently reaching out to hold his hand. âItâs okay Chalk please wake up. You are safe now.â Meg says softly as he squeezes Crows shoulder. âOnly me and Crows are here.â
Chalkâs mouth moved, just a little, then his eyes fluttered shut. âDonât read too much into it,â Crows warned gently. âItâs just a muscle spasm. This happened a lot last time he did this. Itâs like heâs dreaming,, wherever he is. I only hope theyâre good dreams,â
âHey Chalk? Itâs me, itâs Crows. I know the stuff you and I went through... it was really scary. But listen... nobodyâs mad. It wasnât our fault and they know it,â he explained, squeezing Chalkâs fingers.
He liked having Meg close. It was grounding, in a way. Having Meg there made everything feel better, or, at least, made Crows feel less alone.
Meg sighs squeezing Chalkâs hand softly. âStill Itâs a little comforting to see him move.â Meg takes a deep breath. âI just hope he can hear us. He must have been so scared.â Meg says softly leaning slightly against Crows. âYou must have been so scared.â He says softly.
âChalk when you wake up I will get you and Crows those wafels you both liked the last time we hanged out.â Meg says softly. âJust wake up and I will get them.â Meg kisses Crows cheek. âFor the both of you, you both deserve something nice and comforting after everything. No one is upset, we just want you to be okay.â
âHe can heat us,â Crows promised, swelling thickly when the subject turned to him. Yes... it made his stomach flip. He had been scared. He was terrified heâd lose Meg. It had absolutely been awful. âWell Iâm better now, arenât I?â He asked softly.
Of course, Crows couldnât help the look of wonder and excitement that crossed his face at the promise of waffles. âYes please,â he said softly, his face heating up when Meg kissed him. In spite of everything, he felt incredibly lucky. If heâd lost Meg... he didnât know what heâd do with himself.
âThan you, Meg, for being here with me, thank you for everything,â
Meg smiles softly at him a hand coming up to cup his cheek. âOf course Crows, I will always be here for you.â He says. âI love you Crows, always.â Meg sighs softly. âAs for the waffles I will get you some after Chalk wakes up then you can enjoy them together.â He says softly.
âI know you have been doing better but I also know you Crows. You donât have to be strong for me or Lion or Chalk. You can be upset you can be angry. Its okay to not be okay Crows.â Meg says softly. âYou are safe here with me you can let it out if you want.â Meg isnât stupid he has notice how Crows seems to hold off his own feelings just because Meg had been upset by â31âs death. He wonât have Crows feel like he canât be upset too, just because he was upset.
âIt might be a while before Chalk wakes up, Meg,â Crows pointed out. âThis has happened to him before. Sometimes itâs just a couple of hours, sometimes itâs days,â He turned his attention to Chalk. âYou hear that, buddy? I donât get waffles from the mess until you wake up, so youâd better wake up soon,â
Crows hesitated after that, suddenly feeling small and rather vulnerable. âI know. I know. Really I do. I just... canât, you know? As bad as this sounds, I can pencil in some time when Iâm alone to let it all out but... doing it in front of other people feels wrong. I know you wonât judge me but... I canât help but feel afraid of what would happen if you saw me like that,â he admitted.
Meg hums nodding his head. âI know but still I hope itâs something good when he wakes up. Something nice and a little fun.â Meg says softly before cupping Crows face and gently turning him to face him fully.
âItâs okay Crows, I understand. Though know I will never view you differently just because you cry in front of me. Iâm here always if you need me. If need someone to vent to or if just simply need to cuddle or hug. Just know Iâm here for you no matter what, though if itâs better for you like that I wonât push you. Just you can always ask me for help or anything alright?â Meg says softly pecking his lips. âI love you, nothing will change that.â Meg says softly.
Crows dropped his head and accepted the kiss gratefully, his eyes fluttering shut to steal another one. Maker, what had he ever done to deserve Meg? âItâs something I need to be better at, I know. Iâm really good at bottling everything up until it explodes and thatâs not healthy. I just want to be strong for you is all,â he admitted.
After a moment of hesitation, he quietly requested, âI think Iâd like a hug?â He did so like Megâs hugs. Meg honestly gave some of the best hugs in the whole GAR. âOr maybe just a cuddle. That also sounds nice,â He requested, tilting his head to lean into Megâs warm touch.
Meg smiles softly at him. âOf course Crows.â Meg says softly pulling him in for a hug. Being careful from their position. He loves hugging Crows. It always makes him feel so safe and he hopes he can give crows the same feeling. âYou can have whatever you need Crows.â Meg says rubbing his back gently.
âYou donât have to be strong for me, I can be strong for us too. We can be strong together but we can also be sad together.â Meg says softly. âI love you Crows strong or not. Though you are strong too even when you cry.â He doesnât see crying as being less strong then when you donât.
Crows rested his head against Megâs shoulder and let his eyes flutter shut. He hummed gratefully, and allowed himself to hide his face for a moment. âItâs alright,â he promised. âIâm okay. I... canât cry here. Not in front of Chalk and the other medics... I-I can wait,â he said softly before straightening up and loosening his hold on the medic.
âWe should tell Lion,â he said softly. âAbout Chalk and... and â31. I spoke with him last night, after you fell asleep. He doesnât want us sugarcoating things for him,â
âItâs okay as long as you do let it out later.â Meg says softly kissing his head. He almost tries to pull Crows back into his arms when he pulls away. But he doesnât want to force him to hug more. He softly rubs a thumb over Crows cheek as he Cubs his face.
Though he frowns a little at the mention of having to tell Lion al of this. âAlright we should tell him then.â He is worried how Lion will take it. â31 had been his first friend. âWe should do it together, if you want I can tell him about â31. It is part of my job to bring as news.â Meg says softly maybe also still feeling responsible for everything.
âMaker, I mustâve done something really big and excellent in my past life to deserve you,â he said with a little chuckle.
He felt a wave of gratitude wash over him when Meg offered to relay the bad news. Crows... didnât know if he had it in him. He wasnât brave like that. âIâd really appreciate that,â he said softly. Then he stopped and ruffled Chalkâs hair. âHey, weâll be back, you punk, so wake up soon,â
Of course, this recurved no response for the aforementioned clone. Crows pulled himself to his feet and set off. âLetâs go tell him,â he said softly, very gratefully taking Megâs hand.
