paedeul

𝘪 𝘣𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘨𝘴

[paedeul]

#PAEDEUL  .    .    .   hello  and  welcome! this  is  an  independent and  highly  selective  portrayal  of  SHIN YOUNGWOO aka IAN from the manhwa wet sand. i do follow the canon from the story as well as my own ideas included in his character. there are some darker parts to ian's canon so be warned about the nature of this blog. (rules & temp bio under cut) affiliated with @taephoon

ian isn’t some angelic picture perfect guy but he’s not entirely a red flag. he’s got gang affiliations (with the k35), he used to be a boss and he’s got more than enough blood on his hands. his past has a lot of trauma, abuse and drug usage so sometimes that may be brought up in this blog. i’m not going to change anything that’s happened to him not lessen how rough it was for him. i will tag accordingly though.

when it comes to writing, my activity is entirely sporadic. sometimes i have muse and no energy or im simply busy. after for everything else, inbox prompts are the best way to start things up with me. i’m not one for doing starter calls as i never get around to doing that soooo i suggest just sending things in. ims are open for chatting or plots!

without getting into too much detail, nsfw may very well occur on this blog. that, and some suggestive hc posts n what not may be posted so be warned about that.

though on that note, when it comes to shipping im always down for it but ian is . . . someone who typically only engages in one night stands. he never pursued anything more than that. he may have a friends with benefits or close friendships but his heart does belong to someone else (taejoon) and i can’t see him getting serious with someone new. anything other than that is fine. also, he is a gay man. semi closeted but still.

summarized bio

name: youngwoo shin

nickname: ian

date of birth: february 19th, zodiac: pisces

age: 34

gender: cis male

sexuality: homosexual

height: 6ft

weight: 174 (recently lost weight)

occupation: a former gangster boss within the k35 now working as a welder

ethnicity: korean - american

current residence: nyc, brooklyn

scars: a surgical scar on his right ankle (went to rehab for it)

tattoos: he has six tattoos

added notes

* he didn’t know his father & his mother was abusive (as well as her various boyfriends) and was a drug addict. his childhood was far from happy and he mostly raised himself . she was eventually taken to prison when her boyfriend at the time was found dead and she was passed out. she died in prison when he was 18.

* he was a former amateur motocross athlete. he had a sponsor to go to california but because of a set up (due to taejoon and some other men) he had an accident, a fall which resulted in a broken ankle and lots of physical therapy.

* he ended up getting involved with the k35 gang alongside taejoon

* he likes reading and working on bikes though he doesn’t do much of either these days

* he spent two years in prison due to murdering someone and having a witness, it was self defense

* he got out of the k35 gang as he believed he was becoming too much of a monster, he wanted to escape that life. he got a fake ID with the intentions of fleeing the state, not the country

* he had a severe drug problem years ago and with taejoon’s help he got clean and was in rehab

* ian is entirely in love with oh taejoon. there’s no question about it despite the fact that he’s not admitted it. he’s known him for 19 years and they’ve always been very close with one another. they eventually started sleeping together and do on occasion even now. it’s a complicated history but ian believes he owes taejoon so much for all he’s received from him. of course, everything between them was pretty much kept a secret though many knew they were close. during their younger years they were attached, almost always seen together. later on down the line taejoon often shows up to see youngwoo

[yureong]

fearless child, broken boy; tell me what it's like to burn

independent and selective assassin oc as loved by gumi

[paedeul]

haven’t been here in who knows how long but i wanted to show off my new bg3 boy

[paedeul]

this man right here took me all the way to 79 pity

[paedeul]

kinda wild to think about the fact that i am indeed 25 today

[paedeul]

saw someone on twit talking about how ian goes by youngwoo to those who know his past and the real him (aka taejoon). and he introduces himself as ian to those who only know the image he’s created for strangers and honestly that makes so much sense

[paedeul]

Hours had passed, yet the garage looked no different—scattered tools, oil-streaked rags, and a half-assembled bike still propped up where he’d left it. Youngwoo barely noticed. He was too deep into it, hands working with a precision he hadn’t used in years.

It had been weeks since he got back into racing, starting small, sticking to community circuits with a borrowed bike. Nothing serious. But when he was gifted this beaten-down machine—something that just needed a little care—it became an obsession. His hands, once idle, found purpose in the grease and grit, in the familiar rhythm of fixing something from the ground up.

Now, after a long day and far too many trips to auto shops, he was covered in sweat and grime, stripped down to just a tank top and shorts. He ran the back of his hand over his forehead, exhaling as he leaned back against the bike. The sound of approaching footsteps pulled him from his focus.

" what are you working on ? " / @taephoon

A slow smile tugged at his lips as he pushed himself to his feet, eyes locking onto Taejoon’s. Grabbing a rag, he wiped the sweat from his face before casually tossing it over his shoulder. Without hesitation, he closed the space between them, pressing a brief kiss to Taejoon’s lips—just a taste, enough to say I missed you.

“ You’re home. ” Another kiss followed, just as quick, before he pulled back, mindful of the dirt streaked across his skin. No need to get Taejoon caught up in the mess he’d made of himself today.

With an easy gesture, he nodded toward the bike. “ One of the guys I race with gave me this. ” His grip tightened around one of the handlebars, eyes flickering with something almost boyish—pride, maybe, or excitement. “ She ain’t much yet, but give me some time, and she’ll look brand new. ” The confidence in his voice was undeniable, impressive even, considering how long it had been since he last worked on a bike. But for now, he was done. The hours had slipped by, and the exhaustion was creeping in, but something else was tugging at his focus.

“ I was thinking takeout, ” he murmured, fingers sliding into Taejoon’s as he gave a gentle pull toward the house. “ Shower first, though. Come with me? ” The question was laced with something playful, something teasing, but the intent was clear. Food could wait—Taejoon, however, couldn’t.

[taephoon]

Youngwoo's unwavering stare and lack of rush to answer should be of some comfort to him. Yet, as the phone continues to ring out and the name continues to flash on his screen, Taejoon feels... anger. It had been unfathomable to him before, why the man pissed him off so much. That fateful night, when everything went to shit, he had been there to comfort Youngwoo in his stead. Always there, somehow involved. A nobody, with a pretty face and a good home, sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

He should have known they were something more.

You should know that he witnessed it though.

Taejoon frowns. It can only mean one thing, a conclusion he had come to the moment Youngwoo collapsed through his door with blood on his shoes and panic in his eyes. He answers the call on it's last ring, the phone held to his ear.

“  Joseph Landi, we meet again, ” his sights remain set on Youngwoo as he speaks, the expected pause on the other end offering little amusement for him. Who is this? Where's Ian? Ian. “  You don't remember me? I suppose it was a while back now. Ian is safe with me. No need to fret. I have things under control. All you need to do is go home. Speak to no one else. ”

It's not at all surprising when he's questioned further. He can hear the tremble in Jo's voice as he speaks, the short breaths in between indicate that he's walking briskly. Taejoon steps closer to the bathtub, holding the very man Jo was in search of. He looks down at Youngwoo, then, his hand reaching out to brush over his hair. It's a possessive itch, and he knows it, one not entirely satiated. I'm yours, uttered like a promise to match his own. Jealousy has no place here.

“  Your concern is admirable, but he's sleeping. He was quite shaken when he arrived, ” and his thumb brushes down Youngwoo's temple, sweeping away a drop of water. He has a few calls to make, it would seem. “  Go home. I don't like to repeat myself. You'll hear from me soon, ” And Ian- Taejoon ends the call and pockets Youngwoo's phone. His silence thereafter doesn't linger any longer than necessary, but enough to afford him a moment's thought.

Taejoon sighs, “  he doesn't strike me as the type to keep his mouth shut. Were there any other witnesses? ”

[paedeul]

Youngwoo almost wished Jo would’ve given up. Call after call, over ten missed notifications lighting up his screen. Even on the way here, Jo had kept ringing, his persistence relentless. And yet, every attempt had gone ignored. But Youngwoo knew he couldn’t avoid him forever. Eventually, he’d have to see him. He’d have to face him, to say the words that would shatter whatever hope Jo still held. Because whatever this was with Taejoon—whatever had been slowly, inevitably rekindling between them—needed a real chance. And this time, he wasn’t going to run from it.

Maybe if things had played out differently that night—if the right person had shown up instead of Jo—everything would have already been settled. Maybe they would’ve finally said what needed to be said. Would things have changed? Would they have figured it out then? Youngwoo thought so.

Now, as the call was finally answered, not by him but by Taejoon, Youngwoo let his head tip back against the side of the tub, watching him through half-lidded eyes. The water had long since turned cold, but his ankle still ached too much to move. He’d have to get out soon, but not yet. Not until he could manage on his own. He exhaled slowly, studying Taejoon—the phone pressed to his ear, the expression on his face. Youngwoo recognized that look, knew exactly what he thought about Jo, what this conversation meant.

He was going to have to be honest. He’d have to tell Taejoon about his previous intentions to move forward, to finally stop hesitating. He’d have to admit that, despite everything, despite 19 years of tangled history, his heart had always belonged here. And even if he had to break someone else’s heart in the process, he couldn’t ignore the truth any longer. Because how could he ever give his heart away when it had only ever belonged to Taejoon? And even if he could . . . why would he ever want to share it?

Youngwoo was pulled back to reality by the gentle brush of Taejoon’s hand through his damp hair. Instinctively, he leaned into the touch, his gaze flicking up—soft, conflicted, laced with something dangerously close to an apology. An apology for the mess he’d created. But guilt didn’t settle in his chest the way it should have.

He didn’t care that he had lied to Jo. Didn’t care that Jo would be worried, left searching for answers that would never come. Because in the end, Jo would go home. He would be safe. And right now, that was all that mattered. When the call finally ended, Youngwoo exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “ No, there were no other witnesses. Just him. ” His voice was low, almost distant, as his gaze drifted away. “ I didn’t . . . I didn’t even know he was there. ”

There was more he wanted to say. More he should say. But the weight of it pressed down on him, burying the words beneath years of avoidance, of running, of refusing to acknowledge the things that had always been right in front of him. Maybe later. For now, there were simpler things to focus on—things he could control. Like getting out of the water before his body went completely numb.

With a quiet sigh, he finally lifted his eyes back to Taejoon, hand outstretched. “ Can you help me out? ” His voice was quieter now, something raw beneath the words. “ We can talk after I get some clothes on. ”

[paedeul]

i have a job interview today and i’m so beyond nervous for it

[paedeul]

sometimes i sit down and think about the fact that ian has given his heart away and he’ll never love anyone the way he loves taejoon and then i just cry

[taephoon]

It was his fault, wasn't it? Their downfall. His own addiction, his obsession, to selfishly keep Youngwoo all the while, expecting that he would stay by way of his unrelenting guilty conscience. A neverending debt to be owed. It was fucked up, and Taejoon knew that... in the beginning. Somewhere along the line his desire for power and wealth had muddied that which he already had. He had been clinging to their foundation for years, only to watch it all crumble away by his own hands.

They could never be public. Secret trysts were all they were afforded back then. Hell, even now. Yet, people knew. They had to have known. It was easier for him to mask it on the outside, living under the illusion that it would calm the storm within; bury those feelings deep down and focus on the task at hand. The end goal. Power. Money. Honour. And then...

We're just going to eat away at each other again.

That persistent sickness climbs up his throat, a bile on the back of his tongue like a demon in wait. It's only then that he recognises it to be what he's spent nearly two decades burying. Guilt. Shame. Longing.

When Youngwoo whispers a familiar plea, Taejoon is startled into silence. His burgeoning confidence seconds ago slips in an instant, and he suddenly remembers this moment ten years ago. Drunk, in some dingy club bathroom. Say it. That same demon holding his tongue, the words choked back out of fear.

Coward.

He couldn't have known how fantastically he had failed in those few significant seconds. He knows better now. He has to.

“  I've— ... Shit, ” he breathes out slowly, his heart ready to burst out of his chest. He could confess everything right now, but then what? Would Youngwoo even want him anymore? He doesn't know how to love in the traditional sense, but nothing about them was traditional.

“  I didn't grow up learning how to do this shit any more than you did, ” he starts, unintentionally irritated. Flustered. He wasn't going to deceive him with flowery words and promises, that's never been their language. But they have been long-since beyond passionate affairs and yearning glances. “  I've... I've loved you. Like a best friend, family... more than that, ” he rubs his thumb between his brows, taking the moment to break eye contact and look at the floor. It is more than that. “  I thought I could ignore it... forget about it, but I can't. Got a lot of regrets, but my biggest regret is not telling you sooner that... ”

Taejoon sucks in a sharp breath, forcing his gaze to return to Youngwoo, “  ...that I'm in love with you. I have been since we were kids. I never said anything because I guess I'm a fucking coward. I was afraid of what it all meant... Scared that that'd be the end of us. So, I fucked us up in other ways. I tied you to me because I couldn't let you go. ” He's absolutely terrified. How can he not be? The possibility of rejection lingered at the forefront of his mind as it has done since they stepped beyond friendship all those years ago. If this is to be their end, he'll lock up his heart until his death, and he'll know Jason was right. Dead bastard.

[paedeul]

They’d been here before. Years ago, in that dingy club bathroom, Youngwoo had watched Taejoon with another woman—hands on her waist, lips pressed against hers. He had hated it. Hated it more than he could ever admit. They didn’t belong to each other. Not then. Maybe not ever. But maybe, just maybe, they always had.

Back then, Youngwoo had been so sure. He knew what he wanted—what he wanted them to be. Confidence had never been an issue. But there had always been something in the way. The gang. Their reputations. The weight of what it would mean if the wrong people found out. But for so long, Youngwoo hadn’t cared.

Over time, though, things changed. He changed. They were older now, hardened by the years, by everything they had survived. The fire that once burned so recklessly had dimmed, tempered by reality. And yet, standing here now, his chest felt too tight, his breath too shallow. He was waiting for it—that rejection, the inevitable moment where Taejoon turned him down. Maybe if he shut it down first, if he killed it before it had the chance to hurt him, he could walk away unscathed. But feelings never made things that easy. He couldn't run from it anymore.

His pulse thundered in his ears, his heart slamming against his ribs as if trying to break free. It was only a matter of time before it did.

This was how it always was. Youngwoo pushed just far enough to keep Taejoon at arm’s length, to shield himself from everything before it could hurt him. It was second nature—this belief that he was nothing more than a fleeting indulgence, a momentary pleasure. That was all he was good for. That was all he could be.

And yet… he knew the way Taejoon looked at him when he thought he wasn’t paying attention. The way his touch was always careful, even when everything else was rough. How he never pulled away first when they slept next to each other. How he knew exactly how to handle Youngwoo, even after seeing every ugly, broken piece of him. He wanted to hear it. To hear love fall from his lips. He had waited for so long.

I’ve… I’ve loved you. Like a best friend, like family… more than that.

Youngwoo forgot how to breathe. He hadn’t even realized he was crying until a tear slipped down his cheek, his lips parting in a shaky exhale. Oh god. No. It couldn’t be true. His mind rebelled, screaming at him that this was nothing, that Taejoon was just saying what he wanted to hear. But for what? Taejoon had never been the type to say things just to placate him. He was honest—always. And neither of them ever let their feelings spill over like this.

So maybe . . . maybe this was real. The silence stretched between them. Youngwoo just stood there, hands curled at his sides as he stared, as he listened. For what felt like an eternity, he said nothing. His heart pounded, his mind raced, but he couldn’t run from this. Not this time. He should’ve turned away. Should’ve thrown up that wall like he always did. But the words slipped out before he could stop them.

“ No, you . . . you can’t love me. ” It wasn’t a rejection. Not really. Just disbelief.

Because when had anyone ever said those words to him? When had anyone told him he meant something? Not his mother. Not anyone who was supposed to care. She had never told him she loved him, and he hated her for it. Hated her for making him this way. For making him doubt even this.

His body moved before his mind could catch up. A step forward. Then another. And slowly, cautiously, he took Taejoon’s hand in his own. His cheeks were wet, his vision blurred, but he didn’t wipe the tears away. There was no point in hiding them anymore. His voice barely made it past his lips.

“ Say it again. Please. ”

[paedeul]

took me 5 hours last night but i got him finally

[paedeul]

wuthering waves is about to make me crash out because i’m at 60 pity (guaranteed) for the hot pirate man and he just won’t come home

[paedeul]

honestly wild how for weeks now my roomie and i had been planning to do a birthday get together with friends for me today and come to find out they’re all going to epcot instead

[paedeul]

@taephoon cont from here !

This was not how Youngwoo had planned to spend his night. Being called in for something like this—a life lost at the hands of his own men—was nothing short of a disaster. There would be consequences, no doubt. If the boss didn’t handle it himself, Youngwoo would make sure the ones responsible paid for their recklessness. But the more he listened, the more the story unraveled. Nothing lined up. No one could give him a straight answer, just a mess of half-truths and contradictions. The trigger-happy idiot who caused the commotion had earned himself a swift slap from Youngwoo—a warning. He was lucky to have walked away with nothing worse. But luck wouldn’t save him if this spiraled further out of control.

This wasn’t something Youngwoo could simply sweep under the rug. If the victim had a record, a past that could justify an easy cover-up, he might’ve spun some self-defense story or buried it under another pile of lies. But this was different. The target was clean. And now, the weight of this mess fell on him. His boss was already seething, and it was Youngwoo’s job to fix it. Which meant settling things with the K35. And more importantly—with Taejoon.

The scent of Taejoon’s cologne lingered—sharp, familiar, and almost distracting. Youngwoo resisted the urge to roll his eyes, exhaling slowly instead. “ Yeah, let’s play nice and get this taken care of, ” he muttered, leaning forward as he flipped open a pack of cigarettes. One slid between his lips with practiced ease, the lighter following from his pocket a second later. The no-smoking rule was the least of his concerns as the flame flickered, then caught, the first drag filling his lungs.

It was almost second nature now—pretending. Pretending that just nights ago, he and Taejoon weren’t tangled up in each other, that their bodies didn’t seek each other out in the quiet hours when no one was around to witness the truth. But here and now, that didn’t matter. Here, there was no warmth, no stolen touches. This was business. No room for anything else.

Once Taejoon finished flipping through the case files, Youngwoo let out a slow, measured sigh, tapping the ash of his cigarette into the empty glass on the table. “ I’m pissed. ” Understatement of the year.

Another drag, another plume of smoke curling in the air between them. “ Unfortunately, I can’t deny it. One of my men did shoot that fucker. ” There was no point in lying—especially not to Taejoon. Rival or not, Youngwoo had stopped keeping secrets from him a long time ago. With the room cleared, there was no one left to play pretend for.

“ Some of my boys are saying yours provoked ‘em, ” he continued, voice even, though the irritation simmered beneath the surface. “ Not sure how true that is. ”

[paedeul]

They were two hours outside the city, far enough for the chaos to feel like a distant memory. The noise, the mess—the weight of everything they left behind—faded into something quieter, something almost peaceful. Not that Youngwoo would ever call that place home.

This weekend was about the race. That was the only reason he booked this cheap motel, dragging Taejoon along for the ride. If it were just another competition, he wouldn’t have asked him to come. But this one? This one mattered. Sponsors, a real payout, a chance to prove himself. His bike was in peak condition, his mind sharp, and with enough rest, he was sure he’d cross that finish line first. And Taejoon being here? Well, that was just insurance. His unofficial lucky charm.

It had been almost three weeks since that first night together—since they locked themselves away for four days, wrapped in each other like nothing else in the world mattered. It was new. Unfamiliar in ways Youngwoo wasn’t sure how to process. He’d had a relationship before, but this? This was something else entirely. It wasn’t just lust or companionship; it was something deeper, something that settled warm in his chest, lingering long after Taejoon was gone. Something he wanted to hold onto.

“ What if we left . . . ran away? ” @taephoon

Youngwoo almost laughed, half-convinced he’d imagined the words. Steam billowed from the bathroom as he stepped out, clad only in boxers, towel in hand as he ran it through his damp hair. It was out of nowhere, sure, but the thought lingered. He didn’t answer right away, just let the silence stretch, thinking about how, if Taejoon really meant it, if he really wanted to go, Youngwoo would follow him anywhere. “ Where would you want to go? ”

He discarded the towel and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his elbows, watching Taejoon. He didn’t give him the chance to answer before he shrugged, the gesture light, almost indifferent—almost. “ California, maybe. Live on the beach. ”

How possible was that, really? In this lifetime? Their work with Jason and the K35 was only just beginning. Youngwoo could feel it—things were ramping up, pulling them in deeper. And Taejoon . . . Taejoon seemed more invested in it than he was. Maybe that was what made the idea feel so absurd. But just for a moment, here and now, he wanted to imagine something else. Another version of themselves. Another life. Somewhere far, far away.

[televisionsorceress]

love the type of male character that is just a losing dog