Because closet pagans need a reliable source.

A college student who had no good resource for learning about paganism growing up. [Adorable icon taken from http://www.kimballstock.com]

[pagancloset]

A Word on Diaries/Journals:

Start one. It's very therapeutic, sort of like a daily meditative reflection. I've been keeping one for about a week now and it's wonderful.

Pick a time when you want to write every day, like while you eat lunch or just before bedtime, or just carry it with you and write whenever you have a thought you want to jot down. I do both, and it works well for me.

Let me know how it goes for you!

-M

[pagancloset]

Book List!

I'm trying to put together a recommended reading list, so if you have any suggestions, please send me an ask.

Thanks!

-M

[pagancloset]

Sorry for the surprise hiatus.

Midsemester grades just went up, so I have a better idea of how to manage my time now, and I can work this blog back into my schedule.

Thanks for sticking with me!

-M

[pagancloset]

A Word on Grief.

I'm sorry to project my grief onto you all rather than discussing books or covens or something, but hopefully this helps all of us in some way.

Right now I'm dealing with the suicide of a girl I grew up. It's the epitome of tragic, and the more I learn about her situation the worse I feel. Perhaps it is because her condition of living was so completely horrific that no one has been getting hung up on the fact that it was suicide; this was a little surprising for me, as the girl and many of the people mourning her are Christian, specifically Catholic. According to some schools of thought, there is no excuse for taking your own life and doing so anyway results in a one-way ticket to the burny place.

Amazingly, religion never came up. Faith never came up. No one raised the question "Where was her faith in God? Why didn't she trust in God's plan? Why didn't she seek comfort in God?" No, the things people were asking were "Are you okay? What can we do? What could have been done? How do we prevent this from happening again?"

Despite the fact that many of the mourners identify with different sects, and a few, such as myself, differ completely, everyone agreed that the departed was in a better place. I didn't hear a whisper of Hell once.

Bottom Line:

Grief predates organized religion. Grief predates prejudice. Grief predates the words "difference of opinion." Love, kin, and friendship predate these as well. Never let conflicting beliefs interfere with the collective mourning process, and never, never let a difference of faith get in the way of leaning on someone, anyone, for emotional support. Parents want to know when their children are suffering. Friends want to know when their friends need them. Siblings, lovers, roommates, teachers--these people are in your life for a reason. Don't disregard their significance.

Sorry if that makes little to no sense. I'm having a difficult time stringing thoughts together at the moment.

-M

[pagancloset]

I think this is a wonderful idea. I'm not new, but I was certainly in the same shoes as you and many others very early on. Helping others will also be a great way to learn, so I hope this endeavor is as much help to you as the people you're marking the path for as you go. :3

That's the idea! Thanks for the words of encouragement--you can't know how much they mean to me, really. It's extremely gratifying to know that others believe in what I'm trying to do, even if what I'm trying to do is basically just derp with style. :P

-M

[pagancloset]

Hi...I was in a coven that was doing the whole "I can talk to -suchandsuchgod- tee hee what fun!" thing and I wasn't buying it so I left. Now that whole group, pretty much all my close friends, pretty much don't talk to me anymore. What should I do?

I wish I knew exactly what to tell you, poor mousie. Operating under the assumption that you weren't obnoxious, offensive, or decidedly don't-ever-speak-to-me-again-you-crazies when you were doing the leaving thing, I'd say that it's on them to keep the communication open.

If the coven shuns you for having a different disposition than them, then they're very likely not the sort of people you want to hang out with, particularly at a stage when you're still finding your own footing.

I hope things turn around for you,

-M

[pagancloset]

A Word on Mentors.

My experiences with mentors in this field have been extremely bad; my first mentor had my Bullshit Detector whirring softly from the get-go, but, being about thirteen and still hoping against hope I was secretly the Slayer, I was glad to believe her wholeheartedly. It wasn't until she started telling me when and how to masturbate that I finally took off the earmuffs to hear the alarms blaring.

My second mentor wasn't nearly as creepishly bad, but almost immediately after joining her "coven" I realized that: a) she was speaking with authority on things she was mistaken about, b) she was abusing that authority grandly, and c) she was under the impression that each member of the coven had some highly unlikely superduperspecial connection to one deity or another.

Internet forums were absolutely fuck-all help throughout all this, being up to their pointy hats in the fluffiest of bunnies.

Enough about my experiences--what does this mean for you?

If you choose to study under someone seemingly wiser than you in these ways, be very careful as to how you go about it. Do not automatically believe everything he/she/they say(s), and always check facts afterwards from a reliable source--this means, a book in print, a scholarly web page, or even another person you deem knowledgeable. Never use a forum or (my foot readies itself for a bullet) blog post as the be-all-end-all of fact-checking.

It might also be wise to wait until trust has been established--both through personal connection and verified facts--before actually practicing with a mentor, whether or not you believe in the literalness of what you're doing.

Some signs you should abandon ship:

Quite innocently, you simply don't jive with what your mentor's saying.

Your mentor discourages your fact-checking, or makes excuses for why other sources contradict him/her.

Your mentor tries to control your personal life, dictating who you can/can't talk to or what you can/can't do.

Your mentor makes grandiose claims he/she can't support with evidence of any kind (such as speaking directly to a deity).

Your mentor makes any attempt whatsoever at even suggesting the possibility that they should either know anything about or have any say in what you are doing sexually.

These are just a few things I've run into in my experiences, but if at any point your Bullshit Detector starts to beep for any reason, get the hell out of there. There's no need to burn bridges or sacrifice friendships in the process of leaving, but you need to put your own safety, comfort, and ideals first.

Bottom Line:

This is all about you, and your journey to understanding yourself and what you believe in. A mentor can be a wonderful guide and source of inspiration and information, much like a big brother or sister in a Greek organization--but if the Kool-Aid looks a little funky to you, get out.

My recommendation would be to look for another person just beginning their own spiritual exploration, or at a similar point in that journey as you, and rather than teach or be taught, learn together, like in a study group. Get together a list of books you think you ought to read, on anything from mythology and folklore to court decisions involving Wicca or other forms of Paganism, and split the workload between you; take notes, and share the information. Learning side-by-side with someone can be a very enriching and informative method, and naturally safeguards against a cult leader rising to power.

Keep in mind, I'm just as new to this as you, so take it with a grain of salt.

-M

[pagancloset]

I'm interested to see how this blog turns out. I'm not typically a fan of newer people teaching but you seem like you may do a decent amount of fact checking before saying something so I'm really interested to see how this goes. If you need anyone more experienced to verify or bounce ideas off of my ask box is always open :)

Thanks! I wouldn't consider what I'm doing to be teaching--I have absolutely no credentials or authority to do so--but more like marking a path for someone else to follow, should they ditch the tour group.

And thank you for the invitation--I will almost certainly take you up on that!

-M

[pagancloset]

Disclaimer:

I am not perfect. I am not yet savvy to these ways. I do not claim to know everything, but speak from personal experience. If personal experience tells me that X, then I will continue with the assumption that X, until Y comes along to disprove it.

If you disapprove of this blog, that's perfectly fine. Just don't follow it.

-M

[pagancloset]

Introductions:

Hello! Introduction posts are always so awkward, right? Either you bombard the poor reader with a bunch of personal information largely irrelevant to their lives, or you make some hokey joke, or you chuck statistics at them until they run screaming, or something equally counterproductive and uninteresting. Therefore, let me just give you the very basic rundown of who I am and why I'm here--or why you're here, rather:

I...

am a third-year college student.

have just begun studying Paganism as a Thing.

have spent the last eight years being misled by people, the internet, cheap books, more people, and more internet.

You...

are probably just as lost as I am when it comes to this belief system.

probably don't have parents that understand or approve.

need a reliable resource.

I aim for the lofty goal of being that reliable resource. I'm sick of seeing blogs and forum posts and entire websites that are just dripping with bullshit and read like bad Charmed fanfictions. Lying to people about this sort of thing is very dangerous, and so I will do my utmost to post here nothing but the truth--and more than that, the truth I have experienced myself and verified personally. No fluffy-bunny Wiccans here, or repressed-Catholic Gardnerians. I want to provide you, dear reader, with a source you can believe.

Now, whether or not you do believe me is entirely up to you.

-M